Shadow's Dangers (18 page)

Something in his tone hinted at the idea that my believing him capable of such an act hurt him tremendously. I understood. How would I react if he thought me capable of strangling him? Badly.

“I--”

I couldn’t go any further, the images of my dream back in my memory and I realized that it was indeed a figment of my imagination. He spoke the truth. He didn’t do anything to me. He would probably never do anything to me. No. He’ll never do anything to me.

“I...I’m sorry,” I apologized pitifully, ashamed of having been able to think him capable of such a thing.

He brushed my apology with a vague gesture of his hand. I tried to pull myself together and get back to basics, in other words, the fact that he was in my room without me knowing it.

“You said you watched over me.” I remembered his statement as being made long ago, when, in fact, he told me only a few moments ago. “Why?”

“You’re in serious danger.”

I wished I didn’t believe it. I wished to have laughed at him, but the gravity in his voice and what I felt in that moment prevented me from doing so. Something in me felt that my life was at stake. I didn’t know how to explain it, but the feeling was there and it was strong. And even if he had lied in the past, I knew that right now, this wasn’t the case.

“What’s happening?” I inquired, determined to know everything.

He looked at me long and hard. Gradually, a tortured expression took place on his face.

“I can’t, Deliah,” he said like an apology.

He paused for a time, as if telling me that cost him.

“I wish I can tell you more but...I can’t...it’s...”

I could still understand he didn’t want to confide in me about his existence, but given the situation, the fact that it was
my
life we were talking about, he could no longer remain silent. It was
my
life that was in danger. He had no right to leave me in the dark any longer. How could I be on my guard if I didn’t even know what to watch out for?

“I want to know,” I insisted firmly.

He shook his head.

“No,” he replied, looking really sorry about not being able to tell me more. “You don’t need to know. All you have to know is that I watch over you and you’re safe. You don’t have to worry about the rest.”

Those were the words he shouldn’t have said.

“You tell me not to worry?” I told him as I got closer to him. “How could I not worry as you, who is supposed to protect me, as you say, you’ve lied to me since our first encounter? The little bit I know of you is false. Completely false.”

“What?”

He looked positively stunned. What a great actor he was!

“Don’t take me more for a fool than you already have!” I cried, annoyed.

I forced myself to regain my composure, because otherwise, Annabelle would come and put an end to this discussion. When I was sure I could express myself without raising my voice again, I went on.

“You are not Garreth Wates. Your sister and your brother are not named Leighton and Travis, either. You told me your parents were murdered. The real Garreth Wates is three years older than his brother and sister, not one year older, and his parents died in a car accident. His father was named John, not Charles, and he and his wife didn't have any siblings. All of this means that you are all liars who have stolen the identity of other people.”

The surprise and shock I read on his face couldn’t have been more real. He must really have underestimated me.

“How did you discover this?”

“Looks like I’m not as stupid as you imagined,” I said, bitterly.

His amazement was insulting. He really took me for an idiot.

“I never thought you were stupid. Never,” he insisted. “I just thought I was a better liar than that.”

I stared at him, wondering what heavy and terrible secrets his emerald eyes were concealing and why he felt obliged to be silent given the nature of the threat that hung over me.

“Who are you? What connection do you have with my problems? Why did you lie to everybody? Why did you lie to
me
? I thought I...”

I stopped, unable to continue. Anyway, he knew what I couldn’t say; I doubted the importance I held to him. After a few moments of hesitation, Garreth crossed the space between us and took my hands in his.

“I lied about many things, I grant you that. But what I told you about my father, about my parents, it was the absolute truth. Just like what I told you about the Northern Lights and what they mean to me.”

He paused for a time and one of his hands came to rest on my cheek. His thumb began to sketch circles on my skin. Given the intensity of his gaze and the sweetness of his gesture, I shivered in spite of myself. Yet I didn’t want to let that win me over.

“I assure you I’ve never lied about what really mattered. For the simple reason...because you mean something to me,” he spoke with difficulty.

I guessed he wasn’t used to exposing his feelings like that. I was truly touched. At the same time, I couldn’t help but think of all the lies uttered for all these months. The fact that he refused to tell me who was threatening my life. A moment of truth couldn’t overshadow everything else. Not when there was so much at stake for me.

“The feeling is mutual,” I declared for the first time with as much trouble as he had.

My confession made him smile, a sincere and happy smile. I had a heavy heart to the idea that in a few moments, what I would say would definitely erase this expression I had never seen on him before.

“But you and me, it’s impossible,” I finally added, after a moment of silence.

He took an involuntary step back, his hand, which had been on my cheek, now falling along side his body. A mask of impassivity took place on his face as he stared at me, his eyes and his attitude exuding nothing of the emotions he felt once he put on his emotional armor.

“Impossible as long as you won’t tell me what danger hangs over me and you won’t tell me who you really are.”

With bitter irony, I thought I should probably be the first--and certainly the only--girl to reject him like that. It was ridiculous and if anyone had seen us at that time, they would take me for a fool. But it had nothing to do with any love affair or whatever this actually was. It had to do with my survival and that was all that mattered at the moment. I couldn’t act otherwise to make him understand.

“Tell me, Garreth,” I almost begged. “Tell me what’s happening. Tell me who you are.”

He shook his head in the negative.

“There are times when you have to choose between the lesser of two evils. Today, for me, there is no good solution. There is only one evil and one less evil. I opt for the lesser evil, that is to say, I must remain silent.”

Anger rose in me. He had no right to make that decision for me. For both of us. I also had my say in the story and he would understand it very soon.

“You choose to be a coward, to flee? Good. So I choose to stop everything. Now. I don’t really know who you are, what you’re hiding from me, what I risk and why you don’t want to tell me, but I don’t care anymore. Starting tomorrow, I won’t go to school with you, Leighton and Travis. I won’t ever talk to you or see you again. Now, when we accidentally cross each other’s paths, I’ll pretend you just don’t exist.”

“Lila—”

“Don’t call me that!” I exclaimed, not caring anymore that my sister could open the door at any moment because of my loud words.

It would probably be better if she came now. At least, her arrival would prevent me from saying harsh things to Garreth and having to deal with the guy any longer.

“You have no right to call me that, as if I mean something to you when your silence is proving the exact opposite. You made your decision, without worrying about me. Now, I’ll do the same and you’ll just have to deal with it. You thought you could play with my existence like that, as if I were some puppet? Well, let me tell you, you’re severely mistaken.”

I stared at him, furious as I had never been at someone. Obviously, my nightmare was prophetic, the scene that unfolded right now painfully reminding me off my dream in which I had forbidden him to call me Lila.

“I think everything is said,” I concluded coldly after a moment of silence.

I didn’t know how I managed to talk to him in that tone when all I wanted to do was berate him that my life was even more at risk because I didn’t know who wanted to harm me, but also for all the things he was ruining because of his stupid obstinacy.

He nodded gloomily. I left the room, him on my heels, wanting to let him out and then make sure the door was double-locked so he wouldn’t be able to come in again. I opened it and waved him out. It took him a few moments to do so and when it was done, he turned around to face me.

He stared at me from the doorway, his gaze so intense it made me want to look away and flee or simply slam the door in his face. We were only a few inches from each other but it felt like an unbridgeable gap separated us. No. A gap really did separate us. It was a heartbreaking feeling and because of that, I wanted to scream and cry at the same time. The secrets he kept were parting us and it seemed clear that this situation could never work out. Because he would never tell the truth about my situation. About him. But I would never give up trying to find out. We were talking about my life here.

We were at a dead end. An impasse.

Unable to bear his sight and his gaze any longer, I closed the door in his face, my heart ripped to shreds and full of resentment toward him.

10

Chimera Maker

“You should talk to him,” Hayden softly whispered for the umpteenth time since the beginning of the “Cold War.”

The Cold War was the nickname my best friend gave to my passive confrontation with Garreth. As usual for almost two weeks now, I ignored her advice and stayed deep in my dark thoughts.

The situation was difficult for me to manage. First, because I was on my guard, watching for a danger I knew nothing about. Second, I couldn’t help but continue my research on the pretended Wates. And of course, it still resulted in nothing, which frustrated me to no end. In addition to all those things, I encountered Garreth all the time. He seemed to follow me wherever I went. Obviously, we were in the same classes so it was logical, but even out of school, he was there. When I was in town, for example, he was there. He was always there. He wanted me to know at all costs that he was watching over me, protecting me from the person or persons whom he would not tell me about. I could deal with it, even though he had a stalker’s behavior because his oversight went far beyond mere protection, but having his weighing eyes fixed on me as well. I read in them how morose he was, despite the impassivity he strove to display. Although I had wished not to notice and worry about it, the facts were there, I put him in this state and it didn’t leave me cold and indifferent.

But it was all his fault. If he had decided to confide in me, everything could be back to normal. Ultimately, I would have known what was happening, who was after my life and what I had to fear.

With the current situation, I found myself in the company of Hayden and Spencer. I loved my friend and Spencer was friendl,y but seeing them lip-locked all the time didn’t help my mood one bit. With each passing day, the gulf between Garreth and I only grew bigger. Our situation even took away his sister--my friend--from me. My sadness was getting worse with each passing day like a leech thirsty and hungry for every drop of joy that could survive in my being. I had found a semblance of normal life in the company of Hayden and the Wates, but it was now finished. Upon Tess’s death, I thought I could never feel more hurt. I was wrong. So wrong. Now I felt devastated by her death and more alone than ever, isolated by secrets that I kept and the unknown danger that hung over my head.

“Del, you really should talk to him,” Hayden repeated, insistent.

As my best friend didn’t understand why I couldn’t, she nagged at me that I should make the first move. Unfortunately, it was Garreth who had the cards in his hands, not me.

“No.”

“Have you looked at yourself in a mirror lately?” she asked, a little annoyed by my non-cooperation.

I knew what she hinted, even if most of the time, I appreciated her outspokenness, in that moment, I cursed this aspect of her personality. I had a pale face and tired features. This was due to the research I did on the Wates family that had me forgetting to eat and have sleepless nights caused by my dreams and other strange nightmares.

“Deliah!” she addressed me, definitely irritated now.

“What?”

“Stop being so stubborn!” she said, pissed by my attitude. “This is ridiculous! So what? You will stand on your positions until one of you finds someone else? Is that what you want, Deliah? See him with another girl and suffer more than you are right now? Because believe me, that is what will happen. One day, he will be tired of this silly little game and go elsewhere. You will be alone and unhappy. And I’d really like to avoid that, because you’re my best friend and I love you. And you deserve to be happy more than anyone in this world.”

I, who had not whined for a long time because I had hardened myself, finally let a tear fall. I quickly wiped at it. Too late because Hayden had seen it. She took me in her arms. A comforting and warm embrace. Less than Garreth’s, however. I held her even tighter against me while reprimanding myself mentally for always coming back to think about this damn boy. Since when was I that kind of girl, relating everything to the opposite sex? Ah yes...since the opposite sex knew something about the strange events that have made me think I was going crazy for months and about the identity of the person who threatened me and didn’t want to tell me anything about it. However, there was no comparison between the angel that was Hayden and Garreth. She told me everything, not him. And she was trustworthy, which wasn’t the case of Garreth Wates or his sister, even though I wish it were otherwise.

“What would I do without you?” I said with an amused tone to conceal the emotion I felt.

The question was intended only to divert her about our initial conversation because I already knew the answer.