Shades of Atlantis (40 page)

I know enough to know how I feel, he declared. You’ve bewitched me. After we kissed, I couldn’t think clearly; I couldn’t sleep all night. Then I just knew I needed to be near you. I can’t think of anything but you. My breath caught at his words. Bewitched. Ben had insinuated that I’d tried to charm him. Oh no! John was under some kind of enchantment that I didn’t even know I could place on him. Did he really love me, or was it the Guardian part of me that was so captivating to him? I looked into his eyes again, but I couldn’t tell, and there were no colors around him, nothing to betray his genuine feelings.

Something else started to seep through my consciousness, something that I really didn’t want to consider. Caleb. Did he really love me, and did I love him? My heart began to burn, and my fingers trembled. If I didn’t believe in destiny, how could Caleb and I be destined for each other? How could we be soul mates? My cheeks began to redden as the blood rushed through me. Had Caleb and I bewitched each other? John’s eyes were narrowed as he looked at me, concern spread across his face.

Triona, what is it?

I — I have to go.

No.

I stood, pushing back the stool; it wobbled, knocking into the table behind us and spilling the woman’s coffee across it. She jumped to her feet, eying me with surprise and concern.

I’m I’m so sorry, I stammered. My heart was pounding.

John grabbed my arm. Triona, what’s wrong? he yelled. Calm down, what is it?

A young girl in uniform came running over, and I tossed some money into her hand. I’m so sorry; please replace the lady’s drink. I’m sorry, I muttered again to the woman staring at me. Panic was taking me over; what if Caleb or I — what if we woke up and just didn’t feel the same anymore?

What if we forgot? If it wasn’t real? Was that what I felt from him last night?

I stumbled on the cobbles outside the door. A man standing beside one of the many taxis parked on the street looked up.

All right, love? he yelled in a friendly voice.

I didn’t answer. I had only progressed a couple of yards when John’s hand grabbed my elbow firmly. My supernatural speed refused to cooperate today. I wished I could get control of these gifts.

Triona, tell me what is wrong, he demanded. His face was a mask of anxiety.

I knew I could wrench my arm away easily, my strength and my eyesight being the only gifts that seemed to stay with me continuously, but I didn’t.

I allowed him to restrain me, standing on the edge of the sidewalk. Some of the passers-by stared in our direction, at our distressed faces.

It’s not real, John, none of it. I gestured wildly with my hand at the crowds walking around us and the traffic in the street. All this, it’s not the real world, there are things going on that you don’t know — things you can’t see. He pulled me to him, holding me tightly to his chest. His heart was thundering.

What the hell has happened to you?

Again the tears pricked my eyes, and I shut them tightly, holding the waterworks back. I put my arms around him and let him hold me there among the crowd. My breathing was heavy and labored.

Please come back to me, he begged into my hair. Let me take care of you.

I can’t, I sniffled. I wanted to; the future he saw was so much easier than the unknown I was facing. I didn’t love him, and I wasn’t actually sure if he loved me, but if it seemed so real to him, would it matter in the end?

He held me away from him, studying my expression, his eyes full of angst.

I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to promise me you will seriously think about it before you answer, he said, his hand sweeping down my hair, soothing me.

I nodded in agreement, and my eyes tightened in anticipation.

Promise me, he reiterated. His fingers encased the tops of my arms as people walking by continued to glance.

I promise, I said honestly.

He exhaled loudly and brushed hair away from my face before dropping his arms by his side. I want you to think about what we could have together

I I began to protest. He placed a single finger on my lips, silencing me. My heart thudded hard. What was he planning to say?

I would do anything for you, you know that. I’m lost without you. I haven’t eaten or slept. I want you to come back with me. Marry me, Triona.

Oh, I groaned against the finger still at my lips. I hadn’t expected that.

He was staring at me intently, and I wasn’t sure what to say. It would be very easy to say yes and run away, to not have to deal with what I was becoming. I closed my eyes and saw Caleb, felt my intense all-consuming love for him. It was simple after all. I didn’t want to run from him. John’s hand rested on my hot cheek for a moment before he lowered it to his side once again.

I I started weakly.

Don’t say it, he interrupted as his eyes flashed to something behind me. They tightened, evaluating what he saw.

I spun around to see Caleb storming down the pavement toward us; the pedestrians instinctively moved aside to let him through, sensing his fury.

He was surrounded by a dark muddy red color, and his face was thunderous. I wasn’t sure how good his hearing was, but he wasn’t that far away.

Had he heard John’s proposal, or that I hadn’t instantly turned him down?

I looked back to John; recognition was spreading over his face. It wasn’t hard to work out that this tall, gorgeous creature with sapphire eyes flashing with choler was headed straight to me. John grabbed my arm as if to hold me there with him, and I looked up to his defiant face. He glowered toward Caleb.

Triona, stay with me, John demanded, his voice flooded with desperation.

It was horrible. I wanted to undo whatever curse I’d inadvertently placed on him. I can’t, I murmured, hoping Caleb couldn’t hear.

Caleb was almost beside us, and as he neared, the color around him faded and his expression became more guarded. Suddenly I couldn’t read him at all.

Triona, we have to return to the hotel immediately, Caleb said coolly.

You don’t have to go anywhere with him, John insisted fearlessly, still holding my arm. I felt his grip intensify.

The crowds passing by seemed to take a wide berth, unconsciously aware the animosity in the air.

A guest has accompanied my father, Caleb added. His body tensed almost to the point of being frozen, but his eyes betrayed nothing.

Caleb, John — John, Caleb, I muttered, reluctantly introducing him and gesturing to each man in turn, sure that each already knew who the other was.

I felt sick to my stomach, and blood pounded in my ears. I lowered my eyes to the ground and said quietly, John, I have to go with Caleb.

No! John’s fingers had my arm in a vice-like grip.

I watched as Caleb’s hands balled into fists, and his eyes narrowed and blazed. I saw something in them, just for an instant insane jealously. Let her go, Caleb growled in a deep voice.

John stood still, defiantly holding onto my arm and glaring at Caleb.

Caleb’s shoulder jerked as though he were about to raise his arm. I think I saw it before he even conceived what he was about to do. I placed my hand against his chest as a warning. His heart pounded against my palm.

Don’t, I commanded. Human.

His gaze lowered to me, and I stared back at him for a long moment, willing him to calm. His exquisite ferocious eyes gradually softened and relaxed. I waited for another moment before taking my hand from Caleb’s chest and uncurling John’s fingers from my other arm.

You need to go home.

He wordlessly pleaded with his big brown eyes, and I felt a jolt in my stomach reminding me of the first day we met. My resolve weakened, but only slightly. Please, John, go home.

John’s shoulders slumped in acceptance of his failure. Taking Caleb by the hand, I turned my back on him to walk away. I had to focus to keep from tearing up, forcing down the burning sensation I felt in my chest.

You promised, John called after me, his voice breaking slightly. Think about it.

I glanced back over my shoulder to where he stood, hemmed in by the crowds of humans on the street going about their everyday business, his eyes beseeching me.

I know, I called back. Go home. I kept my voice steady and controlled, not trusting my ability to calm Caleb a second time if his temper flared toward John. Caleb’s fingers locked through mine, making my heart flutter.

What did you promise to think about? he asked curiously, not looking at me.

Nothing much, I said evasively. How did you know where to find me? I could feel the tension in his body; it rolled off him in waves. I heard you on the phone, he replied coolly, rushing me through the pedestrians.

I winced. He’d been pretending to be asleep earlier. Why would he do that? I stopped dead on the pavement outside the hotel, and his hand wrenched my shoulder a little as he kept moving. He stopped and turned to me, concerned.

I’m sorry, did I hurt you? Are you okay? His face was as tense as his body, his brow furrowed.

No, you didn’t hurt me. No, I’m not okay. I felt my face crumple; one tear escaped, and I wiped it away with the palm of my hand.

Why did I feel like Caleb was struggling in my presence, as if there was some great conflict going on inside his head? He moved closer to me, unwilling to leave much distance between us, his breath on my face, making it almost impossible to compose myself enough to speak. His anguished eyes were darker than usual, more the color of the ocean, like some great sadness was overtaking him. He sensed I was trying to read what was in them, and suddenly they became indifferent, no longer conveying emotion of any kind. The aching doubt lingered within me. I panicked that I was right; whatever feelings he had for me were fading, and he was getting ready to run again. The idea terrified me, and I yanked my hand from his and reached up to hold his face with both my hands. I tried to make my voice sound commanding like before when we were with John.

What is it that you’re still holding back? I asked, looking deep into his eyes. I’m afraid, Caleb, but not of the Council. I’m afraid you’re planning to leave me again. So, I’m not moving from this spot until you tell me the truth. He took my hands from his face and held them in his, keeping his eyes unreadable. My heart thundered so hard I thought it would break.

Eila and my father are upstairs, he said. They arrived just after you left.

She wishes to meet you. He totally ignored my question and turned to start walking. I remained steadfast, my feet stuck to the ground as if glued to it.

No, I shouted. People walking past turned their heads to us. I’m not going anywhere until you tell me. I can’t be expected to deal with things I don’t know about. I looked away from him, staring at nothing. My heart was pounding and aching at the same time. Are your feelings for me changing? My voice cracked.

Caleb bent his knees so he could lower himself level to my face. I didn’t want to look at him right now. I didn’t want to see his eyes tell me I was right.

I love you, Triona, he said clearly. I will love you until the day I die and on into eternity. I swear it.

My stomach lurched. His tone was solemn, but there was more, so I still refused to meet his eyes. But? I asked hesitantly.

He sighed; it sounded as if he was giving in, and I felt a strange foreboding that things were about to get much worse.

Since we have established that you are the subject of the prophecy, since we found out what it meant, I’ve — well my family — your family too, have begun to wonder if you were meant — to be with a human. How can we be meant to be if you’re to bring us all together? It would make sense for you to be with a human.

His words cut through me painfully; it felt as if I had been dipped in freezing water, and I swayed on my feet for a moment. Caleb held me up, supporting me in his strong hands.

I am not used to being so uncertain, he confessed. I was never uncertain about anything before you. I was going to make things easier for you. I wanted to prepare myself to — step aside. It’s harder than I imagined. He laughed bleakly.

I don’t understand. I love you, I wailed, keeping my eyes lowered. My breathing sounded strained.

My father says you will have to make a choice. I looked up and searched his eyes. I want to be with you. I love you. I choose you. I lifted one hand to stroke his face. He took it in his own and turned it over, kissing my palm.

The strained glances, sympathetic looks, his father’s horrified look to Caleb when he read the prophecy, it all made sense. Annice’s probing questions about my feelings, telling me I would have to take Caleb. She was warning me.

I will be with you, I insisted. Then after a protracted silence, added hopelessly, You don’t believe me, do you?

His expression stayed even; whatever he was feeling, he didn’t want to inflict it on me. I believe you believe it. I want it to be true, but if — well, something were to happen to me —

Don’t even think that! I screeched. The Council won’t take him from me.

He went silent; he was in as much turmoil as I was. I could see that now for the first time. This whole thing, all the changes that were happening to me, everything was changing just as quickly for him too. He was as afraid for our future as I was. All the doubt I had last night and today with John vanished, leaving only the certainty that we were made for each other. Caleb was my destiny. I didn’t exist without him. I pulled myself to him and held my head to his heart, feeling it keep pace with mine, sounding like one.