Seven Days (16 page)

“So I took your mother home and you stayed here with my mother,” Tyler said. “You came to visit every year for your birthday and every year we’d find prints on the edge of the yard that told us Lane had come, but he never got any closer than the edge of the woods. It wasn’t until this year that his pattern changed. First he came to the house before you and Kerry arrived and then again during your birthday party. We had no idea what had changed, only that Lane seemed angrier this year than he had been before.”

“It’s my fault,” I said.

“Absolutely not,” the four Meyers said in unison.

I shook my head. “No, it really is,” I said. “There might have been something else that brought Lane in closer initially, but it was my fault that he wanted Xavier to suffer as he had. After the birthday party, Xavier went for a run. I saw a cat move in the woods and thought it was Xavier, so I went out into the yard.” I smiled at Xavier. “You came back from your run and we lay in the grass together for a while. Lane must have seen me with you then, seen that I wasn’t afraid of you or your panther. Think of what that would have done to him.”

“Oh my God,” Xavier whispered. “That’s what all that was about that night. I had no idea he’d seen us like that. I thought he just saw us like this, human, with you knowing what I was.”

“Lane thought Dorothy hated his cat,” I said. “He saw that I love your cat as much as I love the human part of you. That’s why he started hunting me...why he attacked me.”

I heard Dorothy and Tyler gasp, but I kept my eyes on Xavier.

“Envy is a horrible thing,” Elise said. “It can bring the strongest to their knees or raise the weakest to their best. For Lane, it meant his death.”

“Lane is dead?” Dorothy asked.

“He came here intending to kill Xavier and Kerry,” Elise said. “The pride took care of him.” I silently thanked Elise for withholding the fact that it had been Xavier who had killed Lane.

Xavier kissed me. “I’m glad you’re smarter than I am,” he said. “I need you to point out this kind of stuff sooner though.”

“I didn’t put it all together until last night,” I said. “If I had figured it out earlier, I would have said so.”

“Um, not to be indelicate, but did you say Lane attacked Kerry?” Tyler said. I could hear the pain and fear in his voice. When I turned to look at Tyler and Dorothy, both were wide-eyed with shock.

“Yeah, Dad,” Xavier said. “And that’s why we’re going to leave you here with Gram.” He stood and pulled me up with him. “We have plans for the day.”

I smiled at Dorothy and Tyler. “You should meet my mom, Tawnya and my sister, Mairin, while you’re in town. I know my mother and Tawnya will want to meet you. Maybe we can all have dinner tomorrow?" I looked to Elise. “I'll have Mom call you later so you can handle the details, okay?” I asked.

“Anything you want, today, Kerry,” she said.

I kissed both Dorothy and Tyler on their cheeks. “I’ll see you both tomorrow,” I said and let Xavier pull me out of the house.

“Before I start on my plan, what do you want to do today, babe?” Xavier asked as he started his car.

“I want to see my mom first,” I said. “And I don’t want to be away from you at all.”

“Done and done,” he said, putting the car in gear and heading toward Highland Home. “Mom first and I’m guessing Mairin second?”

“Yeah.”

The silence grew heavy between me and Xavier as he drove to my mother's house. I wanted--needed--to know so many things about the future I was going to live, but I'd been afraid to ask and none of the pride members had been willing to volunteer information. Time slipped away from me so quickly since Lane's attack. I realized if I was going to know what I needed to know, I was running out of time. It was now or never.

“What’s the best part of being a panther?” I asked.

Xavier glanced at me before turning back to the road. I’d seen the flash of concern in his eyes before he turned away. He'd fought for the past six days to keep from talking about his life when the center of his world was the hunt. He didn't want me to know what it was like to have a beast crouched just beneath the surface, but something in my tone must have told him I wasn't going to let him brush me off this time. I needed to know and I wasn't going to let his misguided sense of protection for me stop me from getting the information this time.

“The speed is awesome,” he said. “Running as a cat is something I can’t explain, but wow. Being strong is good. The healing, when it works, is good too. But the best part of being a panther is the pride here in East Hampton. I know from the outside they probably look like a gaggle of unruly boys, but for me, they’re family. Family who would die for me and mine.”

“I already feel that way with the boys,” I said.

“You’re supposed to,” Xavier said. “You’re family and you’re mine.”

“When I’m a panther, can I kick your ass?” I asked, laughing. “The possessive crap isn’t going to work and you know it.”

Xavier didn’t laugh with me, but he did smile. “You’ll be strong enough to kick my ass, but I won’t fight you, Kerr. I couldn’t.”

“Good to know,” I said.

Xavier pulled the car into the driveway in front of my mother's house. I'd grown up behind the peeling white paint and green shutters. Would my room smell stale and unused after I'd been away for a week? Would my mother and Tawnya still accept me if I really was going to be a werepanther with the rest of the pride? Would I ever be able to live a life that resembled normal? I knew when the curtain twitched in the living room window that my mother was waiting for me to come in. She and Tawnya had raised me, loved me, and I didn't know how to tell them what was happening to me.

“I don’t know what to say to them,” I said.

“You don’t have to tell them yet, Kerry,” Xavier said. “We still don’t know for sure.”

Unable to wait any longer, my mother ran out on the porch and was at the car in a flash. “Kerry, baby, when are you coming home?” she asked as she pulled me out of Xavier's car and hugged me hard. “The house is so quiet when you’re gone. Especially since Mairin has been away much of the time, too. I miss my girls!”

I heard the tears in my mother's voice and forced my own back down past the painful knot in my throat. I didn't want to cry and bring up more questions than I could answer.

“I miss you, too, Mom,” I said. I saw Tawnya step onto the porch and I waved over Mom’s shoulder.

“Come in the house. Did you eat breakfast yet? You look thin, Xavier.”

Mom kept up a steady monologue through breakfast. I barely had to speak as she rambled about what had happened while I'd been with Elise. She came close to asking why I'd had to stay away, but each time she seemed poised to ask, she stopped and changed the subject.
Tawnya watched, a silent sentinel residing over the meal and clean-up. She knew something was wrong, but rather than ask, she let my mother carry the conversation away from the topic of my absence.

“We’ve got to go, Ms. Cote,” Xavier said when the dishes were dried and put away. “We’re supposed to meet some folks in about half an hour.”

Mom looked crestfallen. “Oh, I thought you’d spend the day. We could go to the shop and Tawnya could read for us all.”

“Sorry, Mom,” I said. “Can’t keep Maire waiting. You know how she gets. And Xavier’s parents are in town, so you’ll see us soon enough. I want you to meet them.” I hugged her, clinging to her until I felt tears burn my eyes. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you, too, baby,” she said. “When are you coming back? Elise keeps telling me you need to stay in East Hampton, but she won’t tell me why.”

I glanced at Xavier. “I don’t know yet, Mom. But you know
Elise; she doesn’t tell anyone anything unless she’s certain you need to know it.”

“That’s the truth,” she said. She and Tawnya followed us to the porch.

“I’ll come home as soon as I can, Mom,” I said. I hugged her again and then hugged Tawnya.

“Be safe, Kerry,” Tawnya whispered. “Come home when you can.”

“I will. On both counts. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Kerry. I always have.” Tawnya held me longer than she ever had before. She knew something was wrong and that I was hurting, but as she always had when it came to protecting Mom from the worst of the weird when it came to me and my sister, she held her tongue. I knew I'd get the interrogation when I came home for good, but until then,
Tawnya would care for my mother and wait. Tawnya wrapped her arms around my mother's shoulders and held her as Xavier backed the car out of the driveway. I waved until I couldn't see them and then let the tears fall.

"Kerry?" Xavier whispered, taking my hand and squeezing it.

"I'm okay. At least as okay as I'm going to be today."

He glanced at me and pulled my hand up to his lips.

“Mairin now?” he asked.

I wiped the tears from my face and nodded. The tears simply wouldn't stop, no matter what I did and still slid silently from my eyes and splashed in my lap as we drove up the winding drive to Mathias' house. The front door of the house was already open and Gino stood aside to let my sister dash out to the car.

“I was hoping you’d come today,” she said. “But I didn’t want to intrude.”

She dragged me into the house before I could say anything. She saw my tears, wiped them away as she had so many times when I'd been younger, and then just held on to me. She talked and rocked with me until the tears stopped and I could smile and laugh at her jokes. Xavier watched from across the room, a bemused smile lifting his lips. I couldn't imagine what he was thinking, but I knew I'd needed my sister as much as I'd needed to see my mother and Tawnya.

I managed about twenty minutes of Mairin trying to make conversation after I stopped crying. I pulled in a deep breath and let it out slowly. I was ready to go, to be alone with Xavier. I'd managed to say goodbye to my family without too much turmoil and the time had come for me to leave my human life behind to begin anew with Xavier and the pride.

“Maire,” I said when she paused for a breath. “I think we’re going to go.”

Her eyes were wide and bright when she looked at me, but she nodded and hugged me hard. “Remember, sisters are forever, Kerr. I don’t care about anything else. I love you, no matter what.”

I could feel the tears choking me again and I didn’t want to cry anymore in front of my sister. I knew she would be beating herself up for the rest of the day anyway. There was no reason to make it worse.

“Love you, too, sis,” I said. “I’ll...well I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’ll see you soon.”

Xavier came out of the kitchen with Mathias and Gino. “We’re gonna borrow that monster in the drive for the rest of my plans,” he said. “Unless you had anything else in mind.”

“No. I’m ready to go wherever you want to take me,” I said.

“Good.” Xavier grinned and hugged Mairin. “Come to Gram’s for dinner tomorrow, ok? You can meet my mom and dad. And you should go see your mom. She’s a mess.”

“She usually is,” Mairin said, laughing. “I’ll be at Elise’s for dinner tomorrow. Take care of my sister.”

“Always.”

The roar of the SUV’s engine didn’t invite conversation, but after the constant talking I’d endured all morning, the lack of pressure to respond to anyone was refreshing. Xavier sang along with songs on the radio and held my hand while he drove. He wouldn’t tell me where we were going, but when I saw the sign for the State Forest Preserve, I wasn’t surprised. The preserve was isolated and wild. It would be the perfect place for my transformation. We pulled into a parking lot where Xavier shut down the SUV. The sudden silence of the forest echoed with the dying engine sounds.

“This is my favorite place in the world,” he said. He reached over the seat and pulled two small packs from behind my seat. He pushed one toward me and took the other with him when he slid out of the SUV. He rounded the vehicle and helped me down, holding me against his body when my feet touched the ground. “I come up here to think and be alone. Well, I did before I met you,” he said.

“It’s beautiful,” I said. “Everything is so fresh compared to home. The ocean always makes everything smell like rotted fish.”

“Yeah. Up here, you get trees and earth, and other animals, but rarely rotted fish.” He laughed and ducked the punch I threw at him. “I hope you’re up for a little bit of a walk. There’s a view I want to share with you.”

I nodded and he helped me put my pack on comfortably. Xavier led the way and I let the peace of the forest lull me into something like a trance. I'd have continued walking until my legs gave out if Xavier hadn't stopped me, pointing to our right.

“Look,” he whispered. An enormous stag stood at the edge of a small clearing in the woods. The beautiful animal stopped my breath. I wanted to drown in the sight of its muscles rippling beneath its tawny skin and the scent of the
forest around us. It picked its way carefully across the clearing, pausing to taste a grass here or a leaf there. When it was half-way across the clearing, its ears twitch and it lifted its nose to scent the air. I saw its nostrils flare before it turned and bolted into the woods from where it had come.

“Sorry,” Xavier said. “It probably smelled me. Handsome, wasn’t he?”

“Beautiful,” I said. “I’ve never seen anything so graceful or majestic that close before.”

We walked a bit more before the trees thinned suddenly to reveal a small rocky area at the edge of a tall cliff. Large rocks had been roughly hewn into fascinating shapes by millennia of weather. Beyond the piles of stone which looked as though a giant had once set out to play jacks with them was a view of a deep tree-lined valley currently sporting the last of the fall foliage.

“It’s breath-taking,” I said.

“I thought you’d like it,” Xavier said, wrapping his arms around my shoulders so we could both stare in wonder at the beauty Mother Nature had created in that place. After a few minutes, he pulled me to a large, flat rock and lay out a blanket he pulled from his pack.

“Your pack has lunch in it, if you’re hungry,” he said, lying down on the blanket.

I left my pack to the side and lay down beside Xavier. I wasn't hungry for food. I was starving for his touch. I twined my fingers with his and lay back to look up at the sky. The clear blue was nearly as gorgeous as the flame-tipped colors of the valley. I watched the clouds for a few minutes before turning to lay my head on Xavier's chest.

“What are you thinking?” I asked finally.

“That you are the first and the last woman I’ll ever bring up here,” he said. “This is my private place. I wanted to share it with you. There are so many things I want to share with you, Kerry.”

“But not being a panther,” I said softly.

Xavier sighed, but didn’t say anything.

“That’s it, isn’t it,” I said. “You don’t want me to be a panther. You don’t want me in the pride.” My heart was heavy in my chest. I’d never considered that maybe Xavier didn’t want another girl in his pride. That the three Lane had infected over the weekend were enough.

“You won’t feel the same way about me when I’m not human, will you?” I hated the pleading tone in my voice, but I couldn't help it. I was so afraid of losing him to this horrible twist of fate that I was willing to beg him to stay with me rather than lose him.

Xavier sat up and took my hand. “It isn’t that, Kerry,” he said. “Never doubt that I love you and will love you no matter what. But I wouldn’t wish my life on anyone else, especially not you.”

“What’s so terrible about being a panther?” I asked.

“It’s the things that are taken away from us that make this life something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy,” he said. He trailed his fingers over my hand, tracing the hills and valleys of my palm. “Until you learn to control it, your body isn’t your own for at least three days a month. And even when you do learn to control it, there are things that will never again be under your control.”

“Like what?”

“Like kids and aging and...” he shook his head. “It’s just not something I would have wished for you, Kerry.”

“I already told you I didn't care that you can't get me pregnant. We'll adopt. But you didn't mention the aging thing before. Please tell me that you're not immortal.”

“No, I'm not immortal, but I don't age the same as humans do. The were virus kills everything else. That’s why vamp venom doesn’t affect us. I don’t catch colds or get the flu and I can’t get you pregnant. We can’t have kids together, but if this low level virus means you don’t change, it might mean you could have kids with someone else.”

“Why would I want kids with anyone else?” I asked. “So we adopt, big deal.”

Xavier’s bitter laugh sent chills down my spine. “Your sister said the same thing to me last summer. But I didn’t tell her why that wouldn’t work too well either.”

“Why is adoption so bad? There are lots of kids who need families. Technically, you’re adopted.” I didn’t understand his objection to adopting a child if we couldn’t have one of our own.

“Adoption is great, Kerry. The problem is that weres age, but we do it so slowly that people might notice a couple of teenagers claiming a teenager as their own child.”

“How long are you going to be seventeen, Xavier?” I asked, realizing for the first time that he really did look nearly identical to the first time I’d seen him.

“I’m not really seventeen now, Kerry,” he said. “We age slowly, but we mature faster. My body is probably closer to twenty five in maturity. As for how long I’ll look like this, I don’t know. Lane was in his late forties and you saw how young he looked compared to my dad. Lane was the oldest were I’ve ever met. We tend to die young. Hazard of our habits, I guess.”

“So me and Mairin, we’re the only ones who are going to age? What the hell is that about?” Anger washed over me. It wasn't fair, damn it. It seemed like my sister and I gained nothing but heartache from our gifts while everyone around us got things like great health and super strength from their diseases.

"Well, Mairin will definitely age normally. She's told me more than once she'd never ask Mathias to change her. As for you, hon, I just don't know. Doc Coffman really has no idea what the level of were virus you have in your system will or will not affect. You might age normally or you might age as slowly as I will, or it might be something in between. Whatever it is, the aging difference for me will make it difficult for us to have a child around. People will start to wonder about me after the kid is in high school and I still look mostly like I do now."

“Is there anything else I need to know?” I asked.

Xavier shook his head. “You wanted to know the best and worst of being what I am, Kerr. That’s it. I wanted so much more for you. Things I couldn’t have. I’m sorry Lane might have taken those things from you.”

“What if there are human experiences I want to have before super strength, speed and slow aging mess with me. Will you let me have them?”

Xavier looked at the slowly sinking sun before turning back to me. “I think we’re running short on time for most things, babe,” he said.

“But not for everything,” I said. I knelt in front of Xavier and took his face between my hands. I kissed him, hard, plunging my tongue into his mouth and moaning softly when I heard his growl start deep in his chest. I wrapped myself around him and touched every part of him I could reach. If I was going to lose my humanity, no matter how temporarily, I wanted every human experience I could have. I was going to do something I'd avoided with Xavier even when our hormones had been riding high. But when I’d pushed him down and straddled his hips, he sat up and pulled me against his body. I trembled in his grasp.

“No, Kerry. Not like this,” he said. I could feel his body disagreeing with his words and I pressed my advantage by grinding my hips against him. He groaned and then rolled so I was under him. He held himself away from me. “I don’t want you to make love to me because you’re afraid, Kerry. I want you to make love with me because you love me.”

“You sound like Mathias,” I said, hoping to goad him into something rash.

“He’s right from time to time, you know,” Xavier said reasonably. “You’re afraid of what might happen when the sun goes down. That’s a terrible reason to have sex with me, especially for our first time.”

I groaned. I knew Xavier was right, but that didn’t change how I felt about the issue. “I wanted my first time to be a human experience,” I said.

“And it will be. Just because you’re a panther doesn’t mean you stop being human, Kerry. When we make love for the first time. It will be because we both want to be closer than we could be in any other manner. Because we know we’ll spend the rest of our lives loving each other. But it won’t be because you’re afraid of anything.”

Xavier levered himself to the side so he could hold me. “Tell me about what you want to do tomorrow,” he said. “What happens tonight won’t change what we do tomorrow. Talk to me.”

I wrapped my arm around his waist and tucked my head under his chin. I told him I wanted to go to the beach with my mom and Tawnya and his parents. We talked about going back to school on Monday. We talked about college in a year for him and two for me. We talked about all the future things I’d not allowed myself to think of for seven days.

When I realized the light was all but gone from our rocky perch, I stopped talking. Xavier sat up and pulled me up to sit beside him. Behind us, the twilight crept out of the woods and across the rocks. The sun slipped lower and my heart thundered in my chest. I gripped Xavier’s hand like the lifeline I knew it was. His thumb swept restlessly back and forth across the back of my hand. We were both wound so tight I could almost hear our nerves singing.

“You’ll be here, for all of it, right?” I asked.

“I’m not going anywhere, babe.” Xavier leaned close to me and began to sing softly.

“Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine. I’ll taste your strawberries. I’ll drink your sweet wine.”
He pulled me against him so we could both face the setting sun.

“What’s that song?” I asked.

“It’s the song my mother sang to me when I first changed,” he said. “It’s about living for today and being the best you can be tomorrow. I’ve loved it since I was four and could remember the words.”

“Don’t stop,” I said.

Xavier sang the rest of the song. Scalding tears formed tracks of heat down my cheeks. I twisted, found his lips and let the warmth of him wash over me. He held me tight, letting me take comfort in his kiss, his warmth, his love.

Behind me, the sun dropped lower in the sky. Time marched forward no matter how much we wished it could wait for us. I wasn’t ready for my life to end. I wanted this moment to last forever. I wanted to stay on this ledge, trapped in time, but held by his love.

“How much longer?” I whispered.

“Maybe ten minutes.”

Ten minutes before the end of my world and the beginning of his.

“What will it feel like?”

“Don’t do that, Kerr. Please.”

“I have to know. I have to be ready.”

Xavier kissed me again, pressing his lips against mine desperately before tenderly kissing my forehead.

“I’m here for you so you don’t have to be ready,” he said.

“Tell me what it feels like,” I said, tracing his lips with my fingers. “Please.”

He sighed, but I could tell I had won.

“It’s like ants crawling all over your skin. Your muscles jerk and tremble. You have no control over your body and you can feel every change your muscles and bones make as the beast comes to the surface. It’s terrible and wonderful at the same time.”