Seth's Broadway Diary, Volume 1: Part 2 (3 page)

The week started out at Birdland, where Wayman Wong put together another fantastic
Leading Men
show for BC/EFA. I played the piano for most of the acts and did some deconstructing! The men all sounded great, and I must give a special shout-out to Tom Andersen who performed his signature song that he also wrote, "Yard Sale." It has such a simple, beautiful melody and tells about a yard sale that Tom really went to in San Francisco. He sings of speaking with the man and as the song progresses, you realize the yard sale is happening because the man knows he’s soon going to die from AIDS. It's so well-written and literally makes me cry as I play it!

The whole show ended with Norm Lewis doing a blast from both of our pasts. As I’ve mentioned before, when he first moved to New York, Norm wanted to do a song that guys don't normally do, so he'd audition with "Before the Parade Passes By." Back then he was non-Equity, and I had a 30-inch waist. Norm sang a phenomenal arrangement of it that completely brought the house down, and it's going to be featured on his new CD.
I cannot wait!
Even though he's a baritone, he literally hits a B flat in it… which is a full two octaves above Carol Channing's high note
.
If you’ve not heard it, stop reading RIGHT NOW and get it from iTunes. And watch me deconstruct it at SethRudetsky.com.

On Wednesday, I saw
Young Frankenstein
again because my mom hadn't gone yet, and she
loved
it. After the show, I was gabbing with Paul Castree backstage and Megan Mullally came out of her dressing room and said, "I thought I heard your voice."
I
have a recognizable voice? Who's the one with the high-pitched, nasal, fast-talking twang? Oh. Both of us.

On Sirius radio, I interviewed one of my childhood obsessions, Joel Grey. He told me that he grew up in Cleveland, and his father was a famous Yiddish comedian named Mickey Katz. Joel said that all of the New York Jews who moved out to Los Angeles didn't have any entertainment, so his dad moved his family to California and created the show "Borscht-capades," which was obviously later bought by WASPS and re-titled
Ice Capades
. Get it? Mary Tyler Moore's icy performance in
Ordinary People
?
The Ice Storm
? Anybody?

Joel said he was very inspired by Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland… especially the Andy Hardy movies. Eddie Cantor saw Joel singing and dancing in his father's show and, when Joel was 18, put him on TV. I watched that episode on YouTube, and Eddie says, "This kid might be the Danny Kaye of tomorrow." Joel said it's embarrassing, but I loved it! Watch Joel talk to Eddie Cantor… he's obviously so nervous and keeps his eyes totally downcast throughout the whole interview. But then he tears it up during his number and does some sassy high kicks and crazy turns.

Right after that, he performed in nightclubs (the Copa in N.Y.)
and
the London Palladium. In London, he performed with Johnnie Ray (who sang the big hit, "Cry"), and Joel said that he had to perform after Johnnie and kick away the panties that lined the stage — panties that had been thrown by girls in the audience. My question is: when girls do that, are those panties that the girls were actually wearing? What do they hope to get from throwing them? Do they stitch their phone number inside? And do they take them off during the show? Isn't that awkward? Do they bring along a dresser to help them?

Joel said that he couldn't get a job after his nightclub career because producers looked down on nightclub performers. He remembers auditioning (and being rejected from) the Broadway productions of
West Side Story
,
Irma La Douce
and
The Sound of Music
. He wanted the role of Rolf, who sings "Sixteen Going on Seventeen," and later becomes a Nazi. Hmm… perhaps the fact that his father was a famous Yiddish comedian prevented Joel from playing an effective Nazi. Speaking of Jews inappropriately trying out for
The Sound of Music
, Barbra Streisand also tried out for that show and got a big, fat rejection.
And
years later, I myself auditioned to be one of the Von Trapp kids at the Equity Library Theatre and got ixnayed faster than you can say
Sh'ma Yisroel
. Is there no place for a Jewish person on Broadway? Besides every single show but
The Sound of Music
?

Joel said that he brought along an audition pianist for
Irma La Douce
… John Kander! Joel didn't say that's why he didn't get the gig… but perhaps somebody should stick to composing classic musicals. Joel kept getting feedback that he looked too young for the roles he was trying out for, so when he went in for
Stop the World — I Want to Get Off
, he showed up in the kind of make-up Anthony Newly wore in the show, and he felt it made him look ageless. The embarrassing part was that he got into the make-up across the street and had to walk to the audition in full clown-face. It paid off! He got the lead on tour and then replaced Anthony Newley on Broadway! He then replaced Anthony in
The Roar of The Greasepaint — The Smell of the Crowd
. P.S. What's with the long-winded titles? In my day, we did shows like
Carrie
and
Rags
. We were also out of work by Sunday.

Joel did a horrible show at the Jones Beach Theater called
Mardi Gras
, which ran seven days a week (!), and he hated it so much that he was on the verge of quitting the business. Suddenly, Hal Prince (who had seen him in
Stop the World…
or as people annoyingly now call shows on message boards, STWIWTGO) called Joel and said that he was doing a musical based on the novel
I Am a Camera
, and there was a part that was being created that was right for him. It was the first role he got without an audition! I guess if he did have to audition, he would have asked John Kander to play, which would have been weird since John wrote it. But at least he would have known what the composer thought of his audition.

When Joel started working on the Emcee, he knew it was what he had waited his whole career for and had essentially given up the hope of ever getting. The Jones Beach show was his lowest career point but was then followed by what he had always wanted… so those of you struggling right now, doing some headache-y show, or doing
no
show, hold on!

When he first got cast, his role only had the four songs written ("Willkommen," "Two Ladies," "The Money Song" and "If You Could See Her") and no real character. There was someone whom Hal saw during the war that Hal wanted to base the character on, but since there was no dialogue or scenes for the Emcee, it was really up to Joel to create something to connect all those songs. He did it by writing a complete history of the Emcee, so he knew everything about him when he was onstage, and that way the character could live within the show when he was offstage. The look came from what Hal had seen, and Joel added to it. Joel decided that the Emcee would always want to look young, so he chose a base color that reads as white, but was actually called "Juvenile Pink." There were no readings or workshops like there are today. They just rehearsed and then took it out of town. Joel said that people were extremely negative when they heard about
Cabaret
, judging it as a "musical about Nazis." That actually makes me happy to hear, because I'm constantly reading things on message boards saying, "Audiences aren't interested in (fill in the blank)." Let me say that
no one
knows what audiences are interested in!! You can have the best subject matter in the world and do a bad show, or the most bizarre theme and do a brilliant show, so let's put the kibosh on pre-judging what shows will be a hit because
no one knows
!

We started talking about the song "If You Could See Her," where the Emcee is performing a comedy song with a gorilla. He sings of his love for her and about how everyone judges their relationship… and right at the end he sings, "If you could see her through my eyes… she wouldn't look Jewish at all." It's a brilliant theatrical device because the audience laughs along with the song, but at the end, you realize you’re laughing at a horrifically anti-Semetic song. Audiences would gasp in shock because it's almost as though they were an actual audience in Berlin, complicit in the Anti-Semitism by laughing throughout the song. Unfortunately, B'nai B'rith didn't understand the point of it and simply saw it as Anti-Semeitc. They made Hal Prince change the ending to "she isn't a meeskite at all," which completely takes away the impact the song had. The song showed the audience how Jews were dehumanized by Germans who were then able to follow through with the Holocaust. Joel was forced to do the new lyrics on Broadway… and the film didn't want the original ending either! Joel insisted that they shoot two versions, and thankfully, the original/horrific version got in the film.

Speaking of the film, Joel almost wasn't cast. First considered was Anthony Newley and… Ruth Gordon! Joel didn't have any details except to say that she was up for it and my head reeled. Would it have been done Drag King style? Linda Hunt style? Victor/Victoria style? If so, which Victoria? Julia Andrews, Liza Minnelli or Raquel Welch? The National tour version with Toni Tennille? And what about the Captain? How would he have figured in? Would she have sung "Muskrat Love"? Okay, I'm out.

Not only was Joel one of the few people who originated a role on Broadway and got to play it in the film version, but he was also nominated for an Oscar. His competition included Al Pacino for
The Godfather
… and Joel won!!!! Brava on the Tony
and
the Oscar.

On Thursday night, I had to walk my dog late and didn't feel like getting dressed again, so I just went outside in my pajama bottoms. "Who am I going to run into?" I asked myself. Answer: Jonathan Groff. He said he was on his way to Lea Michele's apartment to watch a movie and invited me over to say hi. So, two
Spring Awakening
stars saw me in my PJs, but that’s nothing compared to what I saw of them onstage. AKA an exposed arse and a boob!

I'm excited about this coming week because I’ll be recording my book,
Broadway Nights
, for
Audible.com
. This week I'll be voicing all my stuff as the narrator, and then I'm going to bring in my co-stars. For now, farewell to Passover and let me say, "next year in Jerusalem"… if there's a Starbucks within walking distance.

The
Gypsy
in Their Souls

May 5, 2008

What the hell happened to global warming? Why is it May and the heat is still on in my apartment? I decided to go to the play that most described the month it feels like…
November
. It was the Sunday night Actors Fund performance and the audience loved it. Nathan Lane was hi-larious, and I can't believe he did my
Chatterbox
a few weeks ago and then did the show that night... it's a mammoth role! People are always talking about roles where "he/she never leaves the stage"… and then they follow it with "…except to change costumes" or "…and except for a short time during a few scenes in Act Two, but she's getting a new wig on at that point." Okay, once the word "except" is used, it's called "He/she leaves the stage." Whereas Nathan
never
left the stage! Except during intermission. But while the play is on, he's there the whole time. It's very similar to my role in
The Ritz
in that
I
never left the stage… if all the world's a stage.

Monday afternoon, I saw the Easter Bonnet Competition, and seated behind me was one of the contestants I just worked with on the
Legally Blonde
reality show. Because we finished filming a few weeks ago, I know who won… and quite frankly I can't take the tension of keeping it a secret. It's very tense seeing anyone involved with the show because I'm always nervous that whatever I say will give away to the people around us whether or not the person got the role of Elle Woods. Example: "How are you today?" Meaning, "still giddy from getting the role of Elle Woods?" or "How are you coping with not getting the role of Elle Woods?" Even "Hi" makes me nervous to say because I can't tell whether people can tell my subtext is "Hi, winner!" or "Hi, not Elle Woods."

On Monday night, I was a judge at the second annual Broadway Beauty Pageant. Male beauty, that is. I judged alongside two of the brilliantly talented stars of
[title of show]
, Susan Blackwell and Hunter Bell. The five male contestants were from
Grease
,
Curtains
,
Xanadu
,
A Chorus Line
and
Hairspray
. I loved Mr.
Curtains
who sang "Show Off" from
The Drowsy Chaperone
. He went en pointe (!), played the saw, did rhythmic gymnastic scarf dancing and, during the snake-charmer section of the song, was about to pull off his underwear, but then decided he didn't want to "show off." He also put cookie dough in an "oven" and, at the end of the number, served the three judges cookies. Brava!