Seth's Broadway Diary, Volume 1: Part 2 (2 page)

As for
The Producers
, Martin Short got the offer to do Leo Bloom before Matthew, but Martin didn't want to leave his family in L.A. Then Matthew started reading that he was about to be asked to play the role, but no one actually asked him. Finally, he had a meeting for a movie that Mel Brooks was going to act in, and at the end of the meeting, Mel asked Matthew to play Leo. Matthew had a meeting later that week and read through the script with Mel as Glenn Kelly played the score. Matthew said he really wanted the part, so "I was acting my heart out — which is a teeny bit more than when I'm not doing anything." As usual, dry.

All right, people... this is a busy week. Right after
Broadway 101
, I go into rehearsal for a reading of
The Road to Qatar
(
roadtoqatar.com
). This is a musical that's actually a true story about a lyricist (Stephen Cole) and a composer (David Krane) who got hired by a mega-wealthy Arabian man to write a musical in Qatar! Meaning, these two "short, Jewish musical comedy writers" had to go to Qatar to write it… and suffice it to say, it didn't work out so well. But they did turn it into a musical. I'm playing the composer and, speaking of
The Producers
, Brad Oscar is playing the lyricist. It sounds like a brava. That's right, you heard me, professor. And by "heard," I mean "read." Hmm… maybe I can convince them to change it to
The Road to Brava
. Peace out!

Broadway
101
and Roger Bart

April 21, 2008

Last Monday night was
Broadway 101
and it went GREAT! So many exciting moments. The show began with the
Gypsy
overture played by nine musicians and then, after 16 measures, I stormed onstage and told the audience not to settle for the new-style small Broadway orchestra. P.S. I wasn't joking. Some orchestras on Broadway really just have nine people! And, as I say in the show, that's the size of
The Brady Bunch
including Alice. Not including Oliver. Remember him and his bowl cut? Anyhoo, I then brought on a full orchestra that played the whole overture and it was
thrilling
! It's so delicious to hear a full string section. The hard thing about Monday is that we teched all afternoon and then did a 7 PM show… followed by a 9:30 PM show! I was getting really tired by the second show but felt that, if I complained, I'd be like those people who say, "It's so hard for me because I want to spend time relaxing at home with my handsome husband, but our tickets to Hawaii are non-refundable."

I did a section of the show on riffing and told the audience that I had once conducted a benefit where the woman singing "Don't Rain On My Parade" ended the song with this amazing riff. I then demonstrated the riff and heard crickets. I waited a minute and said, "That's odd... it always brings down the house when Lillias White does it…
trust me
!" At that moment, the "Don't Rain on my Parade" vamp began, and Lillias came out onstage… and did indeed bring down the house! She is such a fantastic performer because her riffs are so musical and from an acting choice, as opposed to certain pop singers whose subtext is either a) I'm amazing, or b) that note is too high for me so instead of sustaining it, I'll hit it for a nanosecond and then riff off it. If you wanna see some
Broadway 101
, there are tons of clips on
SethRudetsky.com
.

On Thursday, I interviewed
Young Frankenstein
star Roger Bart for the
Chatterbox
. He grew up in Princeton and then moved to Savannah, GA. His father worked for a paper company, which, Roger says, had a large part in ruining the Savannah River. Roger has a mortifying childhood memory of wearing a T-shirt that said "Trees Are Renewable." At least his is just a memory. I still have my 8x10 shot from when I was 12 sporting a pageboy haircut combined with Dorothy Hamill wings.

Roger said he loved performing in madrigal groups in high school, and when he's doing Broadway cast recordings, he can always tell who's been in a high school madrigal group because they know how to blend. I asked him if he shows up to recording sessions in ye olde madrigal outfits, and he asked me if I meant a "madri-gown." Brava on that term! Roger Bart, get thee to a Renaissance faire
stat
!

I was shocked to find out that Roger's uncle ran Paramount Pictures with Robert Evans (!) and made the films
The Godfather
and
Rosemary's Baby
. He's now the editor of
Variety
. I asked Roger if he used that connection, and he said that his uncle was able to get him an audition for Juilliard, but they told Roger he'd have to repeat his first two years of college, and he was too eager to graduate, so he stayed at Rutgers. Speaking of Rutgers, he was classmates with Kevin Chamberlin and remembers taking theatre class and spending a long time studying period bows. Of course, he figured he'd never need them. Cut to 15 years later, he was co-starring opposite Kevin in
Triumph of Love
, and every night they ended the show with Restoration bows! Hmm… perhaps Roger's next play will employ mask-work or "pass the pulse."

Roger had a manager after college who got him an audition for
Big River
and said if it didn't work out, he should go in for
Star Search
. He wound up getting the first national tour of
Big River
and was relieved he didn't have to go in for
Star Search
… but I was disappointed to hear that. Was anyone else obsessed with
Star Search
? First of all, I want to know who coined the expression "spokesmodel"? The same people who did "nanny-gate"? And remember the acting category? We'd actually sit through two different actors doing the exact same scene twice! Ah… it was a simpler time. And a more boring one.

Roger was cast as Tom Sawyer in
Big River
and got to take over the role on Broadway. He admits that he was decidedly not well-liked amongst the cast, probably because of his practical joking. He was backstage during the show one night and sat down on an extra inflated whoopee cushion that he had planted. Instead of the laugh he expected, his dresser said, "You are such an a__hole." Then he was talking with another actor who had an entrance at the same time he did, and Roger kept the conversation going until the last second and then started to go out onstage. But he was just pretending. It was way too early for their entrance! It was still the scene before their entrance, where two people are on a raft. So, the other actor saw Roger start to walk out, and wound up onstage in what was the middle of the Mississippi River. He stood there awkwardly, got glared at by the King and the Duke who were on a raft… and then fled, prompting him to a) bruise Roger's arm b) call him the same word that the dresser had first coined.

Roger became good friends with Jonathan Larson and recorded many demos for him, including all of
Superbia
and the first three songs of
Rent
. Roger played "Roger" on the demo and when Jonathan asked him to audition for the actual role, Roger declined because he felt he would never get it and didn't really want to play it. Roger felt that Jonathan was an idealist who wrote his heroes as incredibly noble, and Roger wanted to play someone with more of a sense of humor. Later on, he regretted not auditioning when Roger was doing the not well-received
King David
. That was the first show at the restored New Amsterdam Theater and Roger remembers looking across 41st Street at the crowds for
Rent
and feeling like he was literally on the "wrong side of the street."

Roger was cast as Cousin Kevin in the first national tour of
The Who's Tommy
and credits Wayne Cilento with helping him dance for the first time. He said that it was a nightmare at first.

ME: What was hard about dancing?

ROGER: (immediately) Moving. (pause) Moving my body to rhythm.

I love how he stated the literal definition of dance. On the first day of rehearsal, Wayne taught the cast the "dance vocabulary" (i.e. steps and the style that would be used throughout the show), and Roger said that he went into a fetal position. When he left rehearsal, he thought he would never go back. But the net day, Lisa Mordente (who was assisting… and is also Chita Rivera's daughter!) brought him into another studio and taught him the dances really slowly, and he was able to get it
and
sass it! That's why I constantly advise young kids studying the theatre to get thee to dance class now! I always say: fifth position now negates fetal position later.

Roger did both
Tommy
and
The Secret Garden
and grew to be not fond of child actors
.
He overheard a few horrible conversations between child actors and their parents: during
The Secret Garden
, one little boy asked his mom for a dollar. She told him that she had just given him a dollar on the last break. He replied, "Mom, who makes the money in this family?" And the mother sheepishly gave him the money. Ouch!

I thought Roger was fantastic as the Harlequin in
Triumph of Love
, and he said that the rehearsal period was crazy because F. Murray Abraham would quit the show every day right around 5:50. Then, that night, he would call the director, Michael Mayer, and rejoin the show. Speaking of Michael Mayer, he pushed for Roger to get the role of Snoopy in
You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown
because it was a toss-up between Roger and another actor. That's why Roger was so thankful to him in his Tony speech. And speaking of
You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown
, whenever my friend Jack Plotnick wants to bust theatre people for abbreviating show titles, he'll say pretentiously, "That was back in '91 when I was doing
Good Man
."

Roger said that it was hard to get laughs in "
Good Man
" (*wink*) because the show was basically old-school sketches. At one point, one of the gang says "Hi, Snoopy!" and he's supposed to lament, "Nobody ever calls me sugar lips." (Silence). He said that he tried to solve it by beginning the scene by licking "down there," but that idea shockingly had the kibosh put on it ASAP. One of the ways he did get a laugh was when he would sing a really pretty phrase in the show… and immediately follow it by frantically gnawing on his arm. I remarked that the sound he made while gnawing was similar to the noises he'd make when he took over the role of Leo in
The Producers
, and he agreed. He said he always feels that you should add mouth noises for foreign audiences because, even if they don't understand the show, they'll get that. We then segued to him playing Carmen Ghia, and he said that Mario Cantone originated the role in the workshop but passed on the show because he was planning on doing
Assassins
that year… which unfortunately got cancelled because of 9/11. The scene Roger had to audition with had him opening the door and saying "Yesss?" At the audition, Roger took that idea, but expanded it and held the "S" out for 30 seconds, like he wound up doing in the show. Roger said Mel Brooks laughed so hard that he turned purple. However, when Roger first tried it in rehearsal, Nathan Lane said sassily, "I can't wait to see that bomb in Chicago." But the second time they ran it, Nathan played the "Where is that noise coming from?" bit, and the two bits combined made the moment always land.

When Roger did the workshop of
Young Frankenstein
, he played Igor, not Dr. Frankenstein. Then he got a call offering him the lead! Everyone was giddy offering him the role and expected him to scream, "Yes!" But instead, he told them that he wanted to think about it. He said that it was a tough decision because he's a major Marty Feldman fan, and he was so excited to play a role originated by him. Also, Roger loves playing the kind of role where you come onstage, get the laugh and the audience always wants more. However, he decided to challenge himself… and now he loves it.

I went to my mom's house for both Passover Seders. Everything is as it always ways. The same story of Passover, the same delicious, traditional meal and the same jokes I've been peppering the Haggadah with since time immemorial. AKA whenever the name Nahor came up, I acted offended and said, "Who you calling Na
hor
?" and whenever bitter herbs were mentioned, my sister and I would emphasize the word "bitter" and point to my mom. Ahh… tradition.

Okay, Chag Sameach everyone, and next year in Jerusalem!

Life Is a Cabaret

April 28, 2008

Bring on the bread, Passover’s over! I had a few non-matzoh slips, but I was relatively good. And speaking of good, let's just say that those Starbucks breakfast sandwiches are hard to resist. 'Nuff said
.
Still eating them, years later.