Senile Squad: Adventures of the Old Blues (26 page)

“That’s one way to keep Boss Nurse out of our hair,” Harry said in obvious admiration. “Pretty cool.”

“Exactly the point.”

The driver and aide, brothers Chris and Andy, both trusted employees, had worked for Ben Mitchell since they were sixteen and seventeen years old. They looked outside the maintenance building and determined the coast was clear, opened the garage door, and drove out. Even if someone had seen them, their rig looked like every other vehicle stored on the premises. They pulled up to the front of the retirement home to pick up George.

The aide hopped out and ran the paperwork to the nurse’s station. Betsy’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “What do you mean a doctor’s appointment? This is the first I heard of it.”

“Check it out,” Andy said. “Should be on the schedule.”

She turned to her computer and clicked a number of keys.

“There it is,” Andy said from behind her shoulder. He pointed at the screen.

“Hmmmph!” she said, “I didn’t see that this morning.”

“Guess if you’re around these old guys long enough,” Andy said, “you start forgetting things like they do.”

Betsy glanced at the computer again and shook her head. “He’s in C wing.”

“Yeah, we know; we’ve gotten him before.”

“Need someone to take you to his room?” she asked.

“Nope, we’ll take it from here, thanks,” came the reply.

George was dressed and ready to go. Once he was secured in the van, they hit the open road, the third row seats electronically retracted. Tink and Harry gave him a smile and thumbs-up.

George smiled and eyeballed his partners. “In this operation,” he said after a few minutes, “we have a young couple going through tough times. Husband lost his job and is starting to hit the booze pretty hard. He stays at home with their two girls but seems to be drowning in self-pity. Over the weekend, he slapped his wife during an argument. She’s one of our nursing students—Nicki.”

“I know Nicki,” both said in unison.

“Exactly,” George said. “She’s got the human touch—something a lot of the others haven’t learned yet. She works harder than anyone else and she takes the time to actually talk with us.”

“Maybe because she’s older,” Tink said.

“She carries a big burden if she’s expected to be the breadwinner,” Harry said. “We gonna slap the hubby back?”

George smiled. “It pisses me off too,” he said, “but Nicki says he’s a good man, and I believe her. We’re just gonna have a little talk and see if we can bring him back around to being a decent husband and father. You follow?”

Harry and Tink nodded their agreement. “Does this mean I don’t get to use the new Tasers?” Harry asked.

“We’ll see,” George said with a half smile. “Pull over by that apartment,” he said to the driver and pointed across the street a block down. “At the playground.”

The driver pulled to the curb and parked; the aide helped George out and into his wheelchair.

“We’ll call you when we’re ready to go back,” George said. “Harry, set up a checkerboard at that table over to the right.”

Harry moved to lay the game out but kept his head down. “Looks like he’s spotted us.”

“At least he’s watching where his kids are,” George said. “Hopefully today’s little preventive measure will help him and Nicki both.”

Jeff Jensen lay on the couch and stared at the ceiling. He’d hoped when Nicki started nursing school their lives would get better. They’d worked out a plan. Jeff worked nights and during the day, he could watch the children while Nicki attended school.

Jeff opened another beer and wiped his hand across his face. It seemed as if he was always tired. It didn’t help that his company cleaned offices. It was hard work but it was at night. In the beginning he was proud of Nicki who loved school; nursing was an excellent profession. The plan was once she graduated and got a job, they could refocus and build a nice life for their children.

Everything had gone well for the past eighteen months until his company got into legal trouble for employing illegal aliens. The fines hit, the company closed up, and Jeff was out of a job. Just like that.

In a heartbeat he’d become worthless to his wife and children. With no money coming in, Nicki was forced to take out student loans. They only prayed they could pay it all off in a lifetime. Over the months, the pressures of no money and mounting bills weighed heavily on them both. When they weren’t arguing, they didn’t talk at all. Nicki just got up and went to school. The kids needed to be taken care of, but all he wanted to do was drink. Besides, the girls could take care of themselves. They watched out for one another. Once again he wondered what his place in the world really was. He took a long pull off his beer.

Speaking of the girls—Jeff stuck his head out of the apartment door and spotted them playing; three other women were out with their kids as well. “Good,” he said to himself. “They’ll help keep an eye on them too.”

Jeff left the door halfway open, just to be a good parent, and downed the last of his brew. Pulling the bottle from his lips, he noticed new people on the playground: three old men. They were talking, nothing unusual there, but Jeff had never seen them before. One pulled out a checkerboard, and they seemed to settle in at a picnic table for a friendly game. Jeff observed them a few more minutes then turned back into his apartment. The sharp spritz of a bottle opening signaled the start of another afternoon for Jeff.

“This guy seems to be content to just let the kids run around while he watches television,” Tink said.

“Good,” said George. “We’ll give him about fifteen minutes then go pay him a visit.”

Jeff set his empty bottle on the coffee table and stared from the television to the ceiling and contemplated the mess his life had become. “For crying out loud, I’m almost thirty years old! I’ve only held stupid jobs, never actually had a career. My wife has to go to school so that we can have a better life. Nice job, Jeff.”

The shadows in the living room shifted and darkened. Three men blocked the sunlight streaming through the front door.

“You sound pretty pathetic, son,” George said from the entryway.

“What the—” Startled, Jeff jumped up from the couch. The checker-playing old men from the courtyard stood at his open front door. One man walked into his living room and toward the coffee table. The man in the wheelchair appeared to be in charge. Unsure of their intention, Jeff turned the bottle upside down and grabbed the neck brandishing it like a weapon.

Phet! Phet!
The two sounds flew from the walker.

The darts hit Jeff, and his arms convulsed across his body in a crisscross manner. The glass bottle skittered across the room and shattered against the wall. A strange high-pitched shriek escaped Jeff ’s lips. “Jiijee…ahhah…youghtt!”

Jeff fell face first onto the television table with an audible thud that made the three older men wince.

“Wow,” Harry said. “That’s one feathery trigger.”

“What the devil is wrong with you?” George asked. “We’re in his living room, scare the wits out of the guy, then—oh, jeeze.”

“That’s gonna leave a nasty mark,” Tink said.

They stared at Jeff ’s stiff body. “Good,” said George. “It’ll match what he did to Nicki.”

“Those darts really worked good!” Harry said with giddy enthusiasm. “Did you see? Dropped him like a sack of potatoes!”

Tink chuckled. “It sure did but we gotta tell the research guys about that trigger.”

George peered from Harry to Tink. “Help the man up, will you?”

Even Tink, well known as the squad gorilla and even better known to glare down most hoodlums in his career, couldn’t lift the younger man. “This getting old is for the birds,” he said.

They tried to pick Jeff up but neither had the strength to budge him. “Grab his feet, Buddy,” Tink said. “We’ll drag him by his feet and put ’em on the couch.”

“I think his feet should be higher than his head, that’s what we did when Brittany fainted,” Harry said. “Hey, get some water. We did that too.”

“He didn’t faint,” George said, “he just clonked his head on the table. Big difference, you know.”

Harry returned with a plastic cup of water and dumped it on Jeff ’s face and chest. He sprang up, sputtering and gagging.

“Hey, it worked,” Harry said in obvious surprise. “Wait’ll I tell Sarge.”

George rested his elbow on the armrest, chin in the palm of his hand. He glanced at Harry and then Tink who were completely focused on Jeff regaining consciousness. “Can one of you push me over there? I’d like to talk to the lad.”

Tink and Harry sprang into action. “Sorry, George.”

He pushed George toward the couch so that his knees were level with Jeff ’s forehead. “Harry, go down and watch the girls, will you?” George asked.

“Sure,” he said and was out.

“No need for another go-round with the hair-trigger Taser,” George said.

Tink nodded. “That’s for sure.”

They waited patiently for Jeff to come to.

His world spun. He blinked at the increasing light. Slowly but surely his surroundings came into focus. Jeff shook his head. A sharp, stabbing pain shot through his forehead. “Ah,” he managed to get out and raised a hand to scrub at the pain

“Atta boy,” Jeff heard. “He’s coming out of it.”

Through a narrowed gaze, Jeff once again saw the men who’d entered his home. Their outlines were fuzzy, and they spoke to each other directly above him. “Hey. He’s looking at us.”

George reached down and lightly tapped Jeff ’s cheek. “Helloooo. You with us, Jeff?”

Jeff pushed up onto an elbow. “What’s going on?”

“You fell,” the man in the wheelchair said. “Smacked your head really good.”

Jeff struggled to sit up; two massive arms pushed him back down. The big man bared his teeth in the semblance of a smile.

“Just lay there a little longer, Jeff,” the man in the wheelchair said.

Jeff ’s head cleared, the two elderly men stared down at him. “Who…who are you?”

“You can call me George,” the man in the wheelchair said. “We’re here because we understand things have been kind of stressful here since you lost your job with the office cleaning business.”

Jeff shot George an angry look. “How do you know about that?”

Jeff tried to get up again.

“Jeff,” George said. “You still have the Taser darts attached. You looking for another jolt?”

Jeff froze, glancing from one man to the other. “No,” he said with a shake of his head. “I’m not.”

“Good,” George said in a softer voice. “You’re a smart boy. I’ll get straight to the point, Jeff. You’re letting the stress get to you and we don’t like what we’re seeing.”

“We?” Jeff asked. “You mean you old men—you thugs and henchmen who broke into my house and assaulted me? What do you know about my stress?”

“Settle down,” George said. “We didn’t break in. The door was open.”

Jeff warmed to his topic. “Who do you think you are?”

“That’s enough,” George said pointing a shaky finger directly at Jeff ’s nose. “You’re gonna start making some changes around here or you’re going to be the recipient of a lot more visits from me and my associates.”

Jeff stared hard at the men. There was no fear, concern, or weakness in their faces. They gave off a vibe of intimidation. Not like any old men he’d ever known.

“Can I sit up?”

The big man looked at George. He nodded and Jeff slowly sat up.

“Uh,” Jeff said, “are you guys robbing us? We don’t have anything.”

The big man started to chuckle. “Hey, George, he thinks we’re crooks.”

George laughed too.

“Then what do you want?” Jeff snapped a little too loudly.

George put his finger up as if to silence him. “I’m glad you asked. We’re here to keep you from destroying yourself and your family.”

Confusion flashed through Jeff again. His brows knit together and he shook his head. “What?”

“Let me make this real simple. You,” George jabbed his index finger at Jeff ’s chest, “are going to stop drinking. You’re also going to start taking better care of your children or I’ll have Child Protective Services in this house quicker than you can ever imagine. I understand your wife is almost finished with nursing school?”

The amount of information the man knew about him took Jeff aback. Where in the world had he come up with all this? Jeff nodded yes.

“Good! You’re going to be more supportive of her and you’ll start by helping run the house while she’s studying and at school. That’ll take a lot of pressure off and allow her to become a nurse. Yes?”

Jeff could only nod yet again.

“Of course it will!” George barked. “When she starts her job, the two of you can work out how you’re going to get some training in a field that interests you.”

“O—” Jeff said slowly, trying to gather in everything George was saying, “kay.” He strove to keep his tone as nonthreatening as possible. “But how do you know all this? About me and my wife?”

“Jeffey-boy,” George said, “We’re just some old men who overhear things in the park. Your daughters, Chelsea and Joy, are adorable by the way.”

“Ah,” Jeff slowly responded. “Thanks, but h—”

“We’re tired of seeing families break apart,” George continued, “so we decided to do an intervention this time. Hope you don’t find us too intrusive?”