Seized (Hostage Rescue Team Series, #7) (12 page)

“No.”

Stubborn, beautiful man. “I’m a big girl. I can handle this.”

“Well I can’t. Jesus,” he breathed and shook his head again.

“Sawyer, look at me.”

A muscle bunched in his jaw and he reluctantly shifted his gaze back to her face.

“I need you.”

Now he looked tortured. He swallowed hard. “That’s dirty, Carm.”

If dirty was what it took, then game on. “No, it’s the truth. I
need
you.” Couldn’t he see what he did to her? “We’ll make things crystal clear up front, so there’s no confusion or hurt feelings afterward,” she pressed before he could argue.

He looked at the ceiling in disbelief, blew out a breath like a prayer. “I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation.”

She took a step toward him. His gaze shot to hers and held, and she saw the way his body tensed. He shook his head in silent warning, his expression wary. “Don’t do this, Carm.”

But his plea had no conviction behind it. He thought he was protecting her, doing the right thing in turning her down. The honorable thing. Her gaze slid down to the front of his jeans where the outline of his erection was unmistakable.

In reality he was only denying them both something they desperately wanted.

She took another step, undaunted. “One night. We’ll be friends with benefits for one night and then go on as if nothing ever happened afterward.”

It was almost funny, him stepping back only to come up against the wall. As though he was afraid of her. He lifted an arm, winced a little as he rubbed his hand over his closely-shorn hair and opened his mouth to no doubt argue, but she didn’t give him the chance.

“After tonight it’ll be a long time until we see each other again, maybe even up to a year if you don’t come down to visit with Ethan next time he comes home, so that will make it easier. We’ll have time to put this behind us, time for me to let the idea of us go and move on. But I want tonight at least, Sawyer. Don’t deprive me of that on top of everything else too.”

His shoulders seemed to sag. “Dammit, Carm, I’m trying to protect you. Both of us,” he amended. “I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have.”

“Then don’t say no. Don’t send me away tonight.”

At her soft words his expression turned tortured. He shook his head. “You’re not thinking straight.”

“The hell I’m not, I’m stone cold sober, and I’ve been thinking about it since last night. I can’t walk away from you without asking for at least this.”

She caught the longing on his face, quickly masked by skepticism. But he wasn’t angrily shutting her down or storming past her in an effort to escape. That had to mean something.

“What about Ethan?” he demanded. “What do you think he’d do if he found out we’d screwed around? It’d be even worse than if we dated then broke up later.”

She frowned at his choice of words and his pessimism. If she and Sawyer ever got naked together, it wouldn’t result in “screwing around”. They both had deep, genuine feelings and respect for one another. Nothing that happened between them in bed would be cheap. “This isn’t about him. This is about us, and tonight.”

He made a derisive sound. “You think we can hide it from him forever, that I could lie by omission about something like that and be okay with it? He’s my best friend.”

She didn’t care what her brother thought about it because it was none of his business, but she realized Sawyer was asking because he was concerned about losing his best friend over this. “He and my mom will never find out. Unless you plan on telling them?” She knew damn well he wouldn’t, and she certainly wasn’t going to cause trouble by telling them either.

He gave her a
get-real
look. “I don’t want to use you like that, Carm,” he argued in an impassioned voice, distress clear on his face. She wanted to cup it between her hands so badly and kiss the doubt and fear away. “You mean too much to me.”

“So you’d rather walk away instead? Never know what it would be like between us?”

“I already know what it would be like between us,” he muttered, “that’s the whole problem.” His chest expanded with a big intake of air and he stared at her for a long moment. “And what about you? You’re telling me that you’re suddenly okay with a one-night stand and then going back to being just friends after.” He looked and sounded totally unconvinced.

“Yes.” Okay, she wasn’t totally sure she could do it but she’d find a way to deal with the emotional aftermath because she’d promised him no-strings and having him once was worth the pain later on. At least she’d have this memory of him, a bittersweet goodbye, as she chose to think of it.

“You were doing shots earlier,” he accused.

“I had one, two drinks total, well over an hour ago. And those are my terms.” She could feel him wavering. Knew she was close to swaying him. Just a little more pressure, a little more persuasion and desire...

He groaned and put his hands on his lean hips. Hips she wanted to wrap her legs around while he rode her, slow and deep. Her insides curled and heated at the thought.

“God, you’re making it really hard for me to do the right thing,” he said with a humorless chuckle.

“Good,” she fired back, waving her hands as she spoke. “Because I’m not a fan of what you consider to be ‘the right thing,’” she said, using finger quotes. “Give me tonight.”

His mouth twitched, his eyes warming with humor mixed in with desire. Then he sobered, and she could feel the heat in his gaze from across the room, scorching her where she stood. “What the hell are you doing to me? I should walk away. Hell I should
run
away, but I want you so damn much that I...”

She moved another step closer, stopped within arm’s reach of him. His nostrils flared as she lifted a hand and caressed the side of his face. She had every intention of seducing him. He grasped her wrist gently to stop her but didn’t push her hand away, staring at her while the air around them crackled with electricity.

Undeterred, she drew her thumb across his lower lip, heard him suck in a sharp breath. “I want to touch you all over. My hands, my mouth. I’ve fantasized about it forever.”

His pupils dilated, swallowing the deep, coffee brown irises until they were almost black. He wasn’t the kind of man to back down from a challenge, and she had every intention of pressing each of his buttons until she got what she wanted.

One more push. She was close, she could feel it.

And so she found the courage to once again lay herself bare to the man she wanted more than anything in this world. “Please. I
need
you.”

––––––––

S
he was killing him, making him crumble, and she damn well knew it. But there was no fucking way he could ignore that plea, not when she was standing there so vulnerable before him. Her saying she needed him sliced through every resistance he had. And he’d already been feeling guilty about not meeting her needs, about putting himself and his own fears first.

Sawyer let out a pained growl and repressed a shudder before sighing and leveled a hard look at her. “One night,” he repeated in a stern tone, still unconvinced.

She lifted an eyebrow. “What, you want me to sign a written contract or something?”

He was too revved up to laugh.

She nodded, pulse beating fast in her throat. “One. And maybe if we’re lucky, it will get us both out of each other’s systems.”

He snorted at that, still in disbelief that he was even still considering her proposal. “Just tonight. No regrets, no hurt feelings, we stay friends afterward, and no one ever finds out.” He raised his eyebrows to drive the point home. Did she understand what she was doing? What she was saying?

“Right.”

He didn’t respond, but the molten heat in her eyes made the breath catch in his lungs. The pure hunger there gave his arousal a darker edge. The man standing before her right now was a little dangerous, with layers she hadn’t even begun to uncover yet. Was she ready for that?

Bold as ever, Carmela trailed the flat of her hands down his neck to his chest. She paused there, letting him feel the heat of her palms, making him imagine what they’d feel like on his naked skin. His entire body was rigid, his skin too tight, lust and anticipation a dizzying mix.

Holding her gaze, pulse thudding in his ears, he felt the last of his resolve crumble. The rigid set of his shoulders loosened as he accepted defeat.

She smiled in victory, and he knew it was game over.

He didn’t even try to stop her when she tipped her head back and went in for the kill by lifting on tiptoe to press her lips to his.

A jolt of sensation ripped through him even as Carmela broke the kiss and moved closer yet. From the way her hips shifted in a deliberately provocative rhythm and her golden eyes glowed with desire, he could tell she was every bit as turned on as he was.

No wonder the woman was a top surgical sales rep for her company. She’d just sold him on something he’d been dead set against twenty minutes ago, even when he knew the consequences of going through with this might be disastrous.

Fortunately he didn’t give a shit about consequences at the moment. Not with her standing before him with that look on her face that said she wanted to lick him from head to toe. Not when he was dying to find out what this fantasy she’d spun about him entailed and deliver on every naughty, erotic detail she’d come up with.

There was no way he could have walked away from her when she’d laid herself bare to him like that. He might not be ready to give her the relationship she’d wanted, but he couldn’t deny her this. Not full-on sex, though. That was too far if he couldn’t give her anything beyond tonight. But enough to take the edge off for her.

He just hoped to hell she knew what she was doing, that she really could handle parting ways after this.

Can you?

He ignored the whisper in his head. Her lips were inches from his, her palms flat against his chest, then she flexed her fingers, the tips sinking into his muscle. A jolt of sensation traveled throughout his body at the simple touch, the heat of her hands seeming to burn his skin.

Oh shit yeah, he was in trouble. He’d always sensed that he and Carm would be off the charts together in bed. He had a feeling they were about to set the sheets on fire.

Assuming they actually made it to the bed, that is.

“Let’s get this off you,” she said in a sexy murmur and reached for the hem of his shirt.

Sawyer allowed her to peel it up the length of his torso, ignoring the twinge in both his shoulders as she pulled it free of his arms, then grabbed the back of it with one fist and peeled it over his head. He dropped it on the carpet at his feet, a tidal wave of lust crashing over him at the way her eyes heated and raked over the length of his naked torso with pure feminine hunger.

The woman was staring at him like she wanted to eat him alive, and now that he’d made the decision to go through with this, he desperately wanted her to.

She hummed in appreciation and slid her palms over his bare chest, making his pecs twitch, the gentle but possessive caress sending more blood surging to his groin. “Turn around,” she murmured, putting her hands on his waist to turn him until he faced away from her. “Hands on the wall.”

Raw desire surged through him at her soft command.

He did as she asked, placing his palms flat on the wall and stood there waiting for her next move, the mix of anticipation and uncertainty she created hot as fucking hell. He liked control, enjoyed running things in bed and he’d never received any complaints. But her fantasy was obviously about her having control over him so he was willing to give her that temporary illusion and go along with her commands.

For now.

His pulse beat an erratic rhythm as he stood there, waiting. His dick was already hard and aching and all she’d done was touch his chest.

The room was utterly silent, intensifying the sensual vibe she projected. He heard a whisper of movement behind him then felt the touch of her hands at his waist. They traveled up either side of his spine to glide over the width of his back and across his shoulders, down his arms, her touch reverent but proprietary. And for whatever reason he fucking loved the thought of this woman owning him.

She made a throaty, hungry sound and leaned in to press a kiss to the taut muscles between his shoulder blades. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” she murmured.

I’m guessing for about as long as I’ve wanted you to do it to me.

Sawyer didn’t say it, just closed his eyes so he could absorb every sensation. Her soft palms smoothed gently across his skin, waking every nerve ending, her lips feathering tender kisses across his shoulders and down his spine.

By the time she scooted under one of his arms to stand in front of him, his entire body was on fire for her. He stared down into her eyes, heart thudding and his breath coming faster. She leaned in to press a kiss next to the line of stitches in his shoulder, her gaze flicking up to his as her lips lingered on his fevered skin.

“Hurt?” she murmured, trailing little kisses around his healing wound. Kissing it better but making the hunger raging inside him a hundred times worse.

He almost laughed at the question. Pain couldn’t even register with him right now, unless he counted the throbbing ache between his legs. That was becoming damn near unbearable. He shook his head tightly.

Carmela’s lips curved in a sultry smile. “Good,” she whispered, an instant before she slid her hands up his ribs and leaned up on tiptoe to kiss a fiery path along his jaw, over his short-trimmed goatee to the edge of his mouth. His arm muscles twitched with the need to grab her, fist his hands in her hair and claim those tempting lips teasing him.

“You are so gorgeous,” she whispered against the corner of his mouth, just inside the trimmed edge of his goatee where his skin was the most sensitive. Not by accident, he was sure. The woman was trying to drive him insane, purposely testing his limits.

And he was loving every second of it.

His nostrils flared as her scent enveloped him. Coconut and lime. Tropical and sunny, sweet and tart, just like her. It took every bit of willpower he possessed not to break his position or turn his head to cover her mouth with his.