Seinfeld Reference: The Complete Encyclopedia (48 page)

Written By: Tom Gammill & Max Pross

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Special appearance by Jon Voight (Himself), Ian Abercrombie (Mr. Pitt), Elsa Raven (Mom), Michael Robello (Pop), Bryan Cranston (Tim), Tom Wright (Morgan), Ken Thorley (Car Salesman), Dan Frischman (Guy on Phone), Rick Fitts (Dentist), Nancy Balbirer (Woman at Party), Pat Asanti (Electrician), Steve Brady (Man at Party), Matt Gallini (Tough Guy)

95. 
"The Secretary" (12.8.94).
  George hires a secretary based solely on efficiency and ability, not beauty.  Unfortunately, he finds her organizational skills attractive, and in the heat of passion, offers her a pay raise. 
Subplots:
A dry cleaner is caught wearing customers' clothes, so Jerry attempts to retrieve his garments.  As luck would have it, this requires having dinner with Banya because the dry cleaning stub is in the pocket of Banya's vintage suit.  Elaine believes a department store utilizes thin-mirrors, so she searches for an objective view.  Kramer arranges a date with Uma Thurman and sells a vintage suit to Banya.

Written By: Carol Leifer & Marjorie Gross

Directed By: David Owen Trainor

Characters: Vicki Lewis (Ada), Steve Hytner (Bania), Joseph R. Sicari (Willie), Arminae Azarian (Saleswoman), Mitzi McCall (Donna), Richard Marion (Guy), Thomas Mills (Moviegoer), Glynis McCants (Woman), Courtney Taylor (Attractive Applicant)

Note:
Vicki Lewis was a regular in "NewsRadio" (1995-99) as Beth, and appeared in the movies
Mousehunt
(1997),
Godzilla
(1998) and
Finding Nemo
(2003) (voice).

96. 
"The Race" (12.15.94).
  The myth of Jerry's track athleticism has everyone in awe, except high school rival, Duncan Meyer.  When Jerry begins dating Duncan's secretary, Lois, he is compelled to accept a rematch.  Fortunately, a misfiring car exhaust allows Jerry to gain a head start and win the race. 
Subplots:
Elaine is pleased to date a communist, but gets him blacklisted from his favorite Chinese restaurant.  George's search for a date in the communist personal ads prompts the Yankee organization to offer him an assignment recruiting baseball talent in Cuba.  Kramer works as a department store Santa Claus and is fired for dispensing communist propaganda to children.

Teleplay By: Tom Gammill & Max Pross and Larry David

Story By: Tom Gammill & Max Pross and Larry David & Sam Kass

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Todd Kimsey (Ned), Danny Woodburn (Mickey), Renee Props (Lois), Don R. McManus (Duncan), Vicki Lewis (Ada), Claude Earl Jones (Mr. Bevilaqua), Mark Christopher Lawrence (Boss), Michael Sorich (Castro), Denise Poirier (Arlene), Spencer Klein (Kid), Martin Chow (Lew), Eva Svensson (Woman)

97. 
"The Switch" (1.5.95).
  Jerry's latest girlfriend never laughs, so he ruminates implementing a relationship miracle--switching from his current girlfriend to his girlfriend's roommate.  The plan entails Jerry suggesting a ménage à trois that includes the roommate.  When the women express interest, Jerry is sent reeling because he is not an orgy kind of guy. 
Subplots:
Elaine loans Mr. Pitt's tennis racket to a potential employer, and is busted attempting to retrieve the racket from her office.  Kramer reunites with his long-lost mother, who works as a restaurant matron.  George schemes to determine whether his date is bulimic, and asks Kramer's mother to be a spy.

Written By: Bruce Kirschbaum and Sam Kass

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Wayne Knight (Newman), Sheree North (Babs), Gail Strickland (Landis), Charlotte Lewis (Nina), Jann Karam (Sandi), Terry Sweeney (Keith), Heather Medway (Laura), Clive Rosengren (Mr. Clotworthy), Jacqueline M. Houston (Lorraine), Cheryl Francis Harrington (Waitress), Tish Smiley (Woman)

98. 
"The Label Maker" (1.19.95).
  A label maker is the focus of attention and primary cause of relationship friction.  Jerry gives Superbowl tickets to Tim Whatley, who kindly reciprocates with a label maker gift.  Elaine suspects Tim of re-gifting her present, and this commences an on-again, off-again relationship. 
Subplots:
George loves his girlfriend's apartment, but is not thrilled with her male roommate, so he attempts to effectuate a breakup by suggesting a ménage à trois.  Kramer and Newman play the game of Risk, and Jerry's apartment becomes a neutral site to prevent Newman from cheating.

Written By: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Wayne Knight (Newman), Bryan Cranston (Tim), Jessica Tuck (Bonnie), Cleo Augusto (Scott), Wayne Grace (Ukranian)

99. 
"The Scofflaw" (1.26.95).
  Kramer meets a one-eyed cop searching for a notorious law violator who accumulated thousands of parking tickets and has evaded capture for years.  Kramer begins wearing an eye patch as a fashion statement, but this does not prevent him from recognizing the culprit.  Newman eventually confesses, and the judge orders impoundment of his vehicle. 
Subplots:
George is furious that everyone kept a secret about a friend having cancer.  When the friend confides that he lied about the ailment, George divulges the secret to Jerry.  Elaine's old boyfriend, Jake Jarmel, has one-of-a-kind Malaysian eye glasses, so she causes friction by purchasing a similar pair from a man on the street.

Written By: Peter Mehlman

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Wayne Knight (Newman), Richard Fancy (Lippman), Marty Rackham (Jake), Barbara Alyn Woods (Debby), Ivory Ocean (Officer Morgan), Basil Hoffman (Salesman), Lillian Lehman (Judge), Jon Lovitz (Gary Fogel), Danny Breen (Guy with Glasses), Bob Shaw (Cabbie), Dale Harimoto (Reporter), Joe Ochman (Customer), Elisabeth Sjoli (Woman)

Note:
Jon Lovitz is often remembered as a regular on "Saturday Night Live" (1985-90), or his movie roles in
Jumpin' Jack Flash
(1986), Big (1988) and
A League of Their Own
(1992).  Production Assistant (and future Assistant Production Coordinator) Jeff Bye played the uncredited role of Man at Bookstore.

100. 
"Highlights of a Hundred, Part 1" (2.2.95).
  Jerry Seinfeld hosts a one-hour retrospective glimpse of the previous 100 Seinfeld episodes with snippets containing some of the hilarious moments in each character's life.

Written By: Peter Mehlman

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Clips Directed By: Andy Ackerman, Jason Alexander, Tom Cherones, David Steinberg, David Owen Trainor, Joshua White

Characters: Jerry Seinfeld (host)

101. 
"Highlights of a Hundred, Part 2" (2.2.95) (9:30-10:00 pm).
  Jerry Seinfeld hosts a one-hour retrospective glimpse of the previous 100 Seinfeld episodes with snippets containing some of the hilarious moments in each character's life.

Written By: Peter Mehlman

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Clips Directed By: Andy Ackerman, Jason Alexander, Tom Cherones, David Steinberg, David Owen Trainor, Joshua White

Characters: Jerry Seinfeld (host)

102. 
"The Beard" (2.9.95).
  A man attempts to conceal his homosexuality from his boss by asking Elaine to pose as a beard.  After a fantastic evening, she considers converting him to heterosexuality.  After a successful conversion, Elaine realizes that it is only temporary because she cannot compete with other guys who are more familiar with the equipment. 
Subplots:
A policewoman challenges Jerry to a lie detector test to determine whether he watches "Melrose Place."  George has a blind date with a bald woman, who ultimately rejects him for being bald.  Kramer volunteers for a police lineup, and is fingered for a crime by a homeless person.

Written By: Carol Leifer

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Robert Mailhouse (Robert), Katherine LaNasa (Cathy), Jonathan Gries (Homeless Man), Ed Winter (Mr. Stevenson), Georgann Johnson (Mrs. Stevenson), Joan Elizabeth (Denise), John F. O'Donohue (Gus), Jerry Diner (Lou), Mirron E. Willis (Officer #1), Ken Kerman (Officer #2)

103. 
"The Kiss Hello" (2.16.95).
  Jerry complains about being on a "kiss hello" program with Elaine's friend, Wendy, and is further incensed when Kramer creates a hospitable residential environment and the female tenants join the bandwagon.  Jerry boldly terminates the greeting, and is ostracized by the tenants. 
Subplots:
When Nana ingenuously reveals that Uncle Leo withheld racetrack winnings from Jerry's mother, Leo attempts to conceal the truth by placing Nana in a nursing home.  A friendship fades when Wendy insists on charging Elaine for physical therapy sessions.  George visits Wendy professionally, and tempers flair after she charges him for failing to cancel an appointment without 24 hours notice.

Written By: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Liz Sheridan (Helen), Barney Martin (Morty), Len Lesser (Uncle Leo), Wendie Malick (Wendy), Billye Ree Wallace (Nana), Carol Leifer (Receptionist), Julio Oscar Mechoso (Julio), Rondi Reed (Mary), Gene Elman (Buddy), Mary Scheer (Joan), Louisa Abernathy (Nurse), Timothy McNeil (Jeff), Mark Fite (Jack), C.D. LaBove (Steve), Wendy Worthington (Louise), Belinda Barry (Stephanie)

Note:
Wendie Malick was a Wilhelmina model in the 1970s, and a regular on "Dream On" (1990-96) as Judith Tupper Stone and the mid-season replacement hit "Just Shoot Me" (1997-2003) as Nina Van Horn.

104. 
"The Doorman" (2.23.95).
  Jerry feels uncomfortable conversing with a lobby doorman so he purposely avoids having contact with the man.  In an effort to make peace, he apologizes and agrees to watch the lobby while the doorman takes a break.  When the lobby couch is stolen, the doorman is suspected of concocting an elaborate ruse. 
Subplots:
The Costanzas separate and George donates his couch to avoid having his father as a roommate.  Kramer designs a brazier for men, and becomes business partners with George's father.  George's mother begins dating an undergarment executive.

Written By: Tom Gammill & Max Pross

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Jerry Stiller (Frank), Estelle Harris (Estelle), Ian Abercrombie (Mr. Pitt), Larry Miller (Doorman), Patrick Cronin (Farkus), Reni Santoni (Poppie), Edith Fields (Mrs. Payton), Nick Jameson (Horst), Jack Betts (Mr. Green), Barbara Pilavin (German Woman), Toni Sawyer (Tenant #1), Nigel Gibbs (Tenant #2), Deck McKenzie (Delivery Man), Trudi Forristal (Buxom Woman)

Note:
Larry Miller is a comedian, and auditioned for the part of George Costanza.

105. 
"The Jimmy" (3.16.95).
  In an intricately woven plot, an acquaintance, Jimmy, becomes involved in the lives of everyone.  He convinces George to invest in athletic shoes but the business venture fails when Jimmy injures his back.  Elaine unwittingly accepts a date with Jimmy because he speaks in the first person. 
Subplots:
Kramer is invited as the guest of honor at a benefit concert for the mentally challenged.  Jerry is concerned about Tim Whatley's adults-only dental practice and suspected foul play.  George is accused of stealing Yankee athletic equipment when he begins selling athletic shoes with Jimmy.

Written By: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Anthony Starke (Jimmy), Bryan Cranston (Tim Whatley), Richard Herd (Wilhelm), Robert Katims (Deensfrei), and Mel Torme (Himself), Alison Armitage (Cheryl), J.D. Bridges (Paramedic), Elan Carter (Receptionist)

106. 
"The Doodle" (4.6.95).
  George is depressed when his girlfriend, Paula, doodles a caricature of him that resembles Mr. Magoo.  He soon realizes that Paula is the perfect woman because she is content regardless of whether his appearance deteriorates.  Despite her enlightenment, George relies upon superficiality and breaks up with her for sucking on a discarded peach pit. 
Subplots:
Jerry infuriates his girlfriend by refusing to share items that were previously placed in her mouth.  Elaine enters Jerry's fumigated apartment to retrieve a manuscript but is forced to consult Kramer for insight.  Kramer eagerly awaited Mackinaw peach season but extended exposure to toxic fumes distort his sense of taste.

Written By: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Wayne Knight (Newman), Barney Martin (Morty), Liz Sheridan (Helen), Len Lesser (Uncle Leo), Billye Ree Wallace (Nana), Christa Miller (Paula), Dana Wheeler-Nicholson (Shelly), Guy Siner (Mandel), Ellis E. Williams (Exterminator), Coby Turner (Judy), Wayne C. Dvorak (Teacher), Norman Brenner (Passerby)

Note:
Christa Miller also appeared in episode 68 (as Ellen).

107. 
"The Fusilli Jerry" (4.27.95).
  Kramer designs a fusilli pasta figurine that resembles Jerry.  When George's father accidentally sits on the corkscrew pasta, it must be extricated by a proctologist. 
Subplots:
Elaine dates a mechanic, David Puddy, who uses "the move" on her.  When Jerry and Puddy argue over using the sexual technique, Jerry finds another new mechanic and Puddy invents a new maneuver.  George attempts "the move" on his girlfriend but uses cheat notes that are written on his hand.  Kramer is accidentally given the novelty license plate, "Assman," which prompts numerous propositions from large-derriered women.  George's mother gets an eye job, and accuses Kramer of "stopping short" on her.