Seeking Karma (10 page)

     “Whatever Trent.  You can be with whomever you want.  It’s really none of my business.”

     He takes a small step towards me.  “Can I call you tonight?”

     I study him for several intense seconds.  “Do whatever you want.”  I know
, I should just say no, and cut all ties with Trent Evers.  I so shouldn’t go there, but I can’t seem to help myself when it comes to him.  He seems so familiar and – safe. 

     His face seems to light up when he hears my answer.  “I will.”

CHAPTER 27

TRENT

     I’ve completely lost track on how many times I’ve tried to call Karma.  She has her phone turned off, obviously igno
ring me.  Fucking Dena Robinson!  I didn’t even do anything.  Hell, I turned her down.  Maybe Jude’s right.  It would definitely be the first time.  He said, I needed to get laid.  Maybe if I go out and meet someone, it will take my mind off of Karma.  Hell, anything would be better than sulking in my room, playing the guitar, like a pussy.  That girl has her claws in me – deep.  The worst part is – she doesn’t even fucking know it.  I shake my head, exasperated with myself.

     I inhale deeply through my nose, close my eyes, and let myself get lost in the music.  I hear the door open, but I don’t even bother looking up.  Jude has been in and out of here at least thirty times.  He keeps asking me what happen
ed.  I just ignore him.  I’m not going to discuss my issues with him.  It isn’t any of his fucking business.

     “You didn’t call.”  Her soft voice washes over me, and I open my eyes.  Karma is standing just inside of my bedroom.  The light from the hall is washing over her, casting her shadow across the room.  F
uck me!  Karma is in my bedroom! 

     I grip my guitar tightly.  “I tried.  Your phone was off.  I
thought you were still pissed off.”

     She shrugs her shoulders, and fidgets with her hair.  “I was, but I’m not anymore.”  Her eyes fall down onto my guitar.  “I didn’t know you played the guitar.”

     I nod my head.  “Yeah, it’s kind of a hobby.”

     She cocks her head to the side.  “Are you any good?”

     I can’t help my grin.  Oh yeah, I have her.  What is it about guitars, and motorcycles?  Most girls are drawn to them, like a moth to a flame.  I pat the bed next to me.  “Come over here, and I’ll show you.”  She slowly makes her way over to me, and sits down on the very edge of my bed.  Hell fucking, yeah!  I have Karma on my bed.  The night is definitely looking up.

     I watch her for several seconds.  Her chest is rising and falling deeply.  She’s nervous.  “What’s your favorite song?”  I need to distract her, so that she relaxes.  I want her to feel comfortable around me.

     “‘Don’t Close Your Eyes’”

     This surprises me.  I definitely expected a Keith Whitley song, just not that particular one.  “By Keith Whitley?”

     Her eyes widen, and her lips part.  “You know Keith Whitley?”

     “Yep, I know Keith Whitley.”  I watch her closely, willing her to remember me.  “So, ‘Don’t Close Your Eyes’ is your favorite song?”  I don’t believe that.

     She shakes her head.  “It’s one of my favorites. I have a lot of favorite songs.  This one is definitely in the top five.  Can you play it?”

     I smile at her.  “Yeah, I can play it.”  I begin playing it, never taking my eyes off of her.  Her shoulders relax slightly, and she stretches both
of her legs out in front of her - and leans back against the headboard.

     By the time I’m finished playing the song, her head is resting against my shoulder. 
God, this feels so good.  Having her trust me enough to be this close to me.  The room is silent, with the exception of our breathing.  I want to look at her so badly, to see her beautiful face.  But I don’t want to disturb her.  I’m beginning to think she’s fallen asleep, when she finally speaks.  “Trent, what’s your favorite song?”

     I turn my head
, so that my chin is resting on top of her head.  “Thunderstruck’ by AC/DC,” I used to listen to AC/DC while I was getting high, but she doesn’t need to know that.  Don’t get me wrong – if she asked – I would definitely tell her.  I would never lie to her, and eventually – if I can forge some kind of relationship with her - I will tell her about my past.  But right now, I need to take it slow, and ease her in.

    “So you’re a bad-boy rocker, huh?”  I can hear the hint of a smile in her voice.

     “Karma, you have no idea.”

     She sits up and blinks at me.  “Were you telling me the truth earlier, about Dena?”

     “Yeah, I’d never lie to you.”  I want to reach out, and touch her so bad
ly, but I don’t.

     She nods her head, and stares down at her hands.  “Have you ever slept with her?”

     I draw in a deep breath.  This is the last thing I want her to know, about me.  I’m sure as hell not proud of my past.  “Do you really want to know?”

     She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth, and bops her head up and down.  “I think you just gave me my answer.”

     “Hey,” I sit up, and slowly place my finger underneath her chin, tipping her head back.  “I won’t lie to you.  So, if you’re not for sure if you want to know something, don’t ask.”  I keep eyeing her intently.  “Normally, I’d never sleep with someone like Dena, but I was totally out of my head.  It’d been a long night of binge drinking.  I don’t even remember it.”

     She pulls back slightly, and nods her head.  “Thank you
, for being honest with me.”

     I give her a reassuring smile.  “I’ll never lie to you.”

     “Tell me something about yourself that no one knows.” 

     Ah Hell!  Where is this coming from?
  There’s nothing I can think of, that at least a few people don’t know.  I swallow hard.  “I can tell you something that not many people know.  Will that work?”

     She chews
on her lip for several seconds - contemplating.  “Okay, I’ll take what I can get.”  She throws my own words - from the other night - back at me.

     I take a deep breath.  I cannot believe I’m going to tell her this.  “I’m adopted.”

     I can tell I’ve caught her off guard.  “Really?”

     “Um huh, really.”

     “What about Jude?  Is he adopted, too?”

     I shake my head.  “No, he’s my adoptive parent’s biological son.”
  I feel like I’m making a lot of progress with her tonight, and I desperately want to keep going.  “What about you?  Can you tell me something that no one else knows – about you?”

     Her large gray eyes are suddenly full of sadness.  I’m getting ready to tell her she doesn’t have to - but she opens her mouth - and what comes out, makes me feel like I’m being ripped apart - from the inside out.  “I’ve thought about killing myself, before.”

CHAPTER 28

KARMA

     I cannot believe that I actually confided in Trent, about my deepest darkest secret.  What was I thinking?  We were opening up to one another, and I got so caught up in the moment.  It just slipped out.
  I never even told Anna that.  She worries enough about me.  It felt good to say it out loud.  You know, kind of therapeutic.  I’m not for sure how he felt about it, though.  He got really quiet.

     I’m standing in front of the mirror, applying my make-up.  I’ve gained a few pounds over the past couple of weeks, and I look so much healthier.  Not to mention, all of my clothes are fitting much better.  Maybe, it’s all of the ice-cream
, Anna and I have been consuming.

    “Karma, Trent is here.”  Anna’s says through my door.

     “Tell him I’ll be right there.”  He’s been giving me a ride to school, for the past few days.  Since I rearranged my schedule, my classes don’t coincide with Anna’s.  I quickly twist my hair up into a messy bun, and secure it. 

     “Wow, you look great!”  Trent says, as we make our way to his truck.

     “Thanks,” I look over at his tight jeans, and green pull-over.  “So do you.”  He has his sleeves rolled up, so that the bottom of one of his tattoos is visible.  I don’t know why, but I’m in a really good mood, this morning.  Hell, who am I kidding?  I’m practically giddy.  Trent has that effect on me.  The way he looks at me, gives me chills.  I still can’t place why he’s so familiar to me, but I try not to dwell on it.  It will come to me - eventually.  I hope.

    
“Are you free for dinner, tonight?”  Trent asks, as we make our way across campus.  Freshmen’s parking is located all the way down by the football field.  Basically, it sucks.

     “Sorry, I can’t tonight.  Dusty, Anna, and I are going out.”

     “Oh, where are you guys going?  Maybe Jude and I can meet you.”

     “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.  Anna isn’t very fond of Jude.  If he ever tries to touch her again, I’m pretty sure she’ll claw his eyes out.”

     He chuckles.  “Yeah, Jude can be a real pain in the ass.  Would it be okay if I met you guys, without Jude?”

     “I don’t see why not.  We’re just going to a movie, and then out to get something to eat.”

     “Hey, that sounds good to me.  As long as I get to spend time with you.”  His words make me blush, and I drop my chin, so that he can’t see it.  “I’ll meet you outside of your last class.”

     “Okay, that sounds good.”  I swear, Trent is so sweet.  Not only does he let me ride with him, he walks me to everyone of my classes.  He makes me feel safe.  I know if I ever run into Aaron, Trent won’t let him hurt me.  He’s a total badass!

     I’m pulling my pen and paper out of my pack, when someone flops down next to me.  I glance over with a smile, ready to introduce myself.  My breath hitches when I see him.  He was one of the guys with Aaron, the other day.  I quickly grab my things, ready to bolt, when he reaches out and grabs me by the arm.  “Hey, you’re Karma, right?”

     I swallow hard
, and nod my head.  “Yeah,” my voice comes out as a whisper.

     He holds his hand out to me.  “I’m Gabe.  I’m a friend of Aaron’s.”
  I stare down at his hand for a few seconds, before I finally shake it.  It looks like I’ll be rearranging my schedule – again.  There’s no doubt that Gabe will tell Aaron about this.  Shit!

CHAPTER 29

TRENT

     “Trent…” I’m looking over some notes - waiting on Karma - when I hear someone call my name.  I look up, and see Dave making his way over to me.  “Hey, what’s up man?  I haven’t seen you around here in awhile.  Where have you been hiding?”  He claps me on the back, and sits down next to me.  “What dorm did you get in?”

     “I didn’t.”  I keep looking down at my notes, in an effort to ignore him.  I don’t know what it is, but here lately my so-called frat brothers are all pissing me off.  They made their fucking choice.  We’re not friends, so why do they keep trying to talk to me?

     “Where did you end up going?”  He’s not taking the hint.

     I snap my head up and study him.  “What’s with the fucking third degree?  It’s none of your God damn business where I went.”  I stand up
, and start walking away.  Karma will be coming out anytime, and I don’t want Dave to see her.  I don’t trust him.  He didn’t even try to fight for me.  He just took Aaron’s side.  He knew what Aaron did that night.  I fucking told him!

     “Hey, calm down.”  He throws his hands out in front of him.  “I was just trying to make conversation.  You’re right.  It’s none of my business.”  He gets up and walks away from me.  When he’s a few feet away from me, he turns back around.  “Me and some of the guys are going to a club tonight.  If you’re interested
, let me know.”  Yeah right!  That’s not going to fucking happen.

     When he’s finally out of my sight, I sit back down
, facing the building.  It’s only a matter of seconds, before I see Karma, making her way towards me.  Her eyes are wide, and she looks upset.  I rush over to her.  “Hey, what’s wrong?”

     She shakes her head, and bites down on her bottom lip.  “Guess who’s in my physics class?”

     I clench my hands into fists.  “It better not be…”

     “No.”  She interrupts me before I can say it.  “Not him, but one of his friends.  It’s that guy that was with him at the diner, Gabe.”
  She throws her arms in the air exasperatedly.  “It looks like I need to make another appointment with my advisor.  I might as well just drop out of school.  I’m never going to get away from him.”

     I reach out and take her hand.  “It’s okay.  We’ll figure it out.  You know, I’d never let him hurt you.”

     She nods her head and looks up at me.  “I know you wouldn’t, but you can’t be with me twenty-four-seven.”  She’s right, I can’t.  But I’ll figure out a way to keep her safe, one way or another.