Seeing Your Face Again (31 page)

“Is she seeing someone else?”

“No, she…” He stopped. He wasn't going to tell Crystal more. It wasn't right.

Crystal already had it figured out from the look on her face. “Broken up with him, right? And now she could be yours…if you went back?”

He felt disconcerted. How did women know these things without being told? His mother had figured out most of his heart's secrets without a word from him, and now Crystal was doing almost as well.

“It's complicated,” he said.

“It always is.” She stood and whistled for Brutus. When there was no response, she sat down again. “Confound that dog! He'd better not make me run halfway through the park to find him.”

“I'll do the running,” he offered. This was a routine they'd fallen into. He used the excuse that he needed exercise, and she usually took him up on it. But she didn't look that pleased tonight.

“I hope you stay here, Alvin. You like your job, don't you? And I'm guessing you're close to a promotion. You should be, at least.”

Alvin allowed a wry grin to cross his face. “I'm fixing half the hotel it seems—plumbing and anything to do with carpentry. I get double the wages I began with, which doesn't make much sense. I'm only doing what I always did around the farm, tinkering with things.”

“See!” Crystal looked triumphant. “You're getting paid for once, unlike on the farm. And we could make something of this…” She paused to think for a moment, “…this friendship we have, Alvin.
You're one of a kind. Solid, true, honest, hardworking, rising in the world. What more could a girl want?”

Alvin looked away and thought of Debbie and Paul. “Apparently a lot.”

She hesitated. “You look really good to me. Or am I being too forward for you? I guess I have to start asking that question.”

He shrugged. “I'm fine.” She reminded him of Debbie. He gave Crystal a warm look. He liked forwardness in a girl, he decided. At least this kind of forwardness. Hadn't Debbie finagled the arrangement between them at Verna's wedding? He'd liked that. Or perhaps it was the ways of
Englisha
girls he liked.

“So you're staying then?” Her face lit up. “And you and me, we could…”

“Look, Crystal,” he interrupted, taking her hand. “I like you as a friend. I'm not ready for anything else. It's complicated, remember? And your world…it's not mine yet. And I don't know if it can be…what you have out here.”

Her face clouded even as her fingers tightened on his. “I think I understand, Alvin. That's okay.”

He felt the softness of her hand in his. It would be easy to love this girl, he decided. He could
almost
let himself go. It would be like stepping into a rushing river. He would have to do little but hang on. And yet he couldn't. Not now anyway. And it wasn't fair to Crystal to say things he wasn't sure of.

“That's okay,” she repeated. “Let's not ruin what we have.” She regarded him for a moment. “You're a dear, you know. So innocent and unspoiled. You haven't seen much of life have you?”

He looked away. “I imagine not.” He glanced back and met her gaze. “But I've seen you. That seems like a lot to me.”

She threw her arms around him and hugged him. She didn't let go for a long time.

“What was that all about?” he asked, his hand lingering in hers.

She gave him a weak smile. “With a sugar tongue like that, you sure you don't know what it's for?”

He ignored the remark and tightened his hold on her hand. “Tell me about yourself, Crystal. You've not told me much.”

She leaned her head against his shoulder. “You're not going to find out, Alvin. You're too dangerous.”

“Why?” He looked down at her. “I've told you about me.”

She laughed. “Not much, I'm sure.”

Again she was right. His silence was answer enough.

“Some things shouldn't be told.” She moved beside him. “Not ever.”

In the silence that followed, Alvin wondered what secrets Crystal had. He couldn't imagine she'd ever done anything wrong in her life, but then what did he know. He was from the farm…an Amish farm at that.

“We'd better be getting back.” She was on her feet now. “Brutus is likely into some sort of mischief by now.”

He kept her hand in his. “I love it when you're with me, Crystal. You do me good.”

She pulled her fingers from his. “I feel the same way. You're good for me, Alvin. Very good.” Her gaze lingered for moment. “Now, where's that dog?”

“Let's see if this will bring him.” Alvin whistled twice, and a few seconds later Brutus bounded out of the bushes.

Crystal turned toward Alvin. “What are you, a magician?”

He laughed. “I'm afraid not. I can't even fix my own life.” It would take
Da Hah
's help for that. But he didn't tell that to Crystal. She might not like his mention of God, and he hadn't really prayed much for a long time. But perhaps it was time he began. There was an awful lot that needed to be fixed in his life. That much he knew.

Crystal snapped the leash on Brutus, and the dog followed the couple without fuss, apparently worn out from his long run in the park. Alvin led the way as they walked down the street.

Crystal seemed tired…even subdued. She didn't say anything, and Alvin didn't know what should be said.

“Can we do this again soon?” he asked as they paused when they reached the apartment steps.

She didn't hesitate. “I'd love to, Alvin.”

She moved on into the lobby toward the elevator. He wanted to ask her to wait, to share with him what was bothering her, but he didn't.

He followed her inside, and they silently boarded the elevator. When they reached the fourth floor, he took her hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Good night now,” she said. “I hope your troubles at home get solved.”

“And yours,” he said. “Whatever they are.”

She got off and the elevator doors closed.

Moments later, Alvin entered his apartment. He took the letter from his
mamm
out of desk drawer and read through it again. Then slowly he slipped the paper back inside. He would have to write home soon, but he couldn't until he knew for sure what his answer would be. That might take some time. He also had to make sense out of what had happened between him and Crystal tonight. That might take even more time.

Thirty

A
week later, on Friday morning, Debbie drove Buttercup and the buggy toward Melvin Kanagy's place. Ida was seated beside Debbie, offering advice on handling a horse. Debbie needed the practice now that she had definite plans to become part of the community. Ida hadn't minded in the least when she'd asked for the reins once they left home. Ida was too thankful Debbie had agreed to take off from work and come along to complain about who drove. At least Ida didn't seem nervous that she'd run into the ditch while she drove the horse.

In fact, Ida wasn't nervous at all about going to Melvin's place either. She felt she knew the man well from their Sunday evening dates. And even the fact that Ida would see Melvin's family at their home for the first time tonight didn't have her in a tizzy. Ida was a marvel indeed, Debbie thought.

“Going to Melvin's to spend the day with his family is
Mamm
's idea,” Ida said. “It's part of the plan and shouldn't be a big deal at all.”

It was also a decent plan, Debbie acknowledged. Ida would have more work than she could possibly imagine once she married
Melvin. It would be a giant task taking care of another woman's six children, even for a dedicated and hard-working person like Ida.

Ida seemed deep in thought. Likely she was mentally working out a schedule to run the house for Melvin and his children. Debbie gave her friend a quick glance. “Plans churning around in your head?”

A quick smile flashed across Ida's face. “You know me well. But what about yourself? Have you thought of another visit to see Alvin?”

Debbie started. “Of course not!” Visions of Alvin dressed in his
Englisha
clothes with an equally
Englisha
dressed woman by his side flashed through her mind. That the woman was pretty only made matters worse. Debbie was going to forget Alvin and go on with her life. Alvin might be part of the reason she originally wanted to join the community, but she didn't need his love to continue her quest.

Ida was still on the subject. “I'm surprised Verna is letting you give up on him now that Paul is no longer in the picture.”

Debbie kept her eyes on the road. There was no way she would tell Ida or anyone about what had happened in Philadelphia. She kept her voice steady. “I haven't stopped at Verna's lately. I don't have my car anymore, and I'm on thin ice with your dad and everyone else already. That's plenty of reason right there to stay away from Alvin. With Alvin being in the
bann
, if the ministry even thought I was considering seeing him again…”

Ida sighed. “I suppose you're right. But it's still a shame. You lost both of them now—Paul and Alvin.”

“Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be.” Debbie worked hard to keep bitterness out of her voice. “I'll just be an Amish old maid. Isn't that what you call them?” Debbie jiggled the reins, and Buttercup increased her speed.

Ida didn't sound convinced. “Someone as
gut
looking as you, Debbie? Don't worry. Some young man will be calling on you soon.”

“Maybe I don't want them calling,” Debbie snapped. She wished
at once she hadn't said anything, especially when she saw a cloud of sorrow cross Ida's face.

“
Da Hah
has His ways,” Ida said before pressing her lips together.

Debbie held the reins with one hand and touched Ida's arm with the other. “I'm sorry I said that.”

Ida nodded. “I know. Thank you for coming with me. I love Melvin, and I think I'll love him even more as I get to know him better. And his children, of course.”

“Have you had any doubts?” Debbie asked. “The wedding's coming up quickly.”

Ida chuckled. “I admit I had butterflies in my stomach for Paul Wagler once, but that's over with. I'm very content with the man
Da Hah
has sent me.”

That's a nice attitude to have
, Debbie almost said. But that might have sounded sarcastic to Ida's ears, and she really was here to support her. Especially with the favor Melvin had done for her. She likely wouldn't be in the community if Melvin hadn't prevailed with his brother on her behalf. She ought to cook and clean for the man every week for a year to express her gratitude.

“Do you disagree with my choice, Debbie?” Ida sounded worried. “Do you think I'm being silly…or wrong?”

“Of course not!” Debbie pulled Buttercup to a stop at the intersection. “I was thinking I should help Melvin with his housework every day for a year in gratitude for what he told his brother.”

Ida relaxed on the buggy seat. “
Yah,
it showed the kind heart Melvin has. And the
gut
judge of character he is. He saw what kind of girl you are. He's going to be a
gut
husband for me, Debbie.”

“I'm sure he is,” Debbie agreed. “Now, where is his place?”

“Up ahead a mile or so.” Ida motioned with her head. “You'll like it. Melvin keeps it up nice considering…”

Debbie kept quiet as Buttercup's hooves beat on the blacktop. As Ida's friend, Debbie only cared about Melvin's place because
of her. He seemed nice enough to Ida, and that was the important point. But another troubling thought raced through her mind. Had Ida's tender heart been swayed by Melvin's kind act of speaking up? Enough that she based her decision to marry the man on that reason alone? Surely not! Debbie decided.

“Melvin's sister Lily helps out when she can,” Ida continued. “But she can't do much more than the housework. Melvin does the rest. I'll have to see today if we can at least begin a garden. Melvin told me on Sunday he'd have the spot plowed and disked, and that Lily wouldn't mind.”