Seeing Red (The Dark Love Series) (22 page)

             
“Lucian made you forget about me. He took our memories away from you. Nina, you love me, and I love you. Always and forever,” Andrew tells me in a trembling voice.

             
“I would remember if I loved you, but, I'm sorry, I don't love you because I don't know who you are,” I inform him.

             
Andrew stands in front of me speechless, with tears pouring out from his eyes.

             
“Take her home, Caroline,” William demands.

             
Caroline nods her head and we make our way to the front door. I stop and turn around. I take one last look at Andrew. He looks devastated, heartbroken, angry. My eyes hit the floor and I follow Caroline out the front door.

Chapter 25

Lost and Empty

Dear Diary,

             
I came home last night feeling lost and empty. I'm so utterly confused with the things that are happening around me. Andrew is in love with me, and I guess I'm supposed to be in love with him too. Something like that shouldn't have just slipped my mind.

             
On the car ride home last night, Caroline told me that Lucian took away all of my memories because he knew how happy I was with Andrew. She told me things to try to make me remember, like memories and phrases Andrew and I shared together. I can't believe I can't remember.

             
I will admit, it does feel like something is missing. I just can't put my finger on it. It feels like someone picked a piece of my brain out and threw it away.

             
I just don't understand how I could truly forget the love of my life, even though I was forced to.

Love, Nina

* * * *

I decide to look through my journal to see if there's anything about Andrew in there. Maybe something will jog my memory. I flip to the last pages I wrote, and see it's been torn out. I go back to the entries before it, and I can see that I really loved Andrew. I must have loved him, considering we had sex. That's a big deal to me. I've never given myself to someone in that way, because I was waiting for the right person to share that kind of love with. I must have found it with Andrew.

             
I read further back in my journal. I met Andrew in the nurse's office at school. I fainted in class because I didn't eat. That's embarrassing. It sounds completely ridiculous, but it happened. That's where I first saw his pale face and dark eyes. That's where I fell in love at first sight.

             
I slam my journal shut and throw it across the room. Tears escape my eyes. Why did this have to happen to me? I seemed so happy. I found happiness and love with Andrew. Now, I can't even remember him, anything about him. There's holes in my brain that block out anything that has to do with Andrew.

             
I feel like screaming. I feel like crying. I feel like slicing my leg with a sharp blade.

             
I shake those thoughts away. I can't scar up my body. I need to talk to my mom. Maybe she could shed some light on this situation I'm now stuck in.

             
I walk downstairs and find my mom in the living room watching TV. “Mom, can I talk to you?” I ask.

             
Ali turns and looks at me. She looks frightened when she sees me. Tears cover my face. I'm a mess. “Baby, come sit down.”

             
“I can't remember anything about Andrew. I've tried looking through my journals and I just can't remember anything. I loved him, mom. I truly loved him, and now it's gone. My happiness is gone,” I cry.

             
“Sweetie, it's not gone. True love never fades away, no matter what obstacles stand in it's way. I know Andrew won't give up on you until you remember,” Ali says as she rubs my back to try to comfort me. I love hearing her talk. She always knows the right things to say.

             
“Did we really love each other?” I ask as the crying turns into sobbing.

             
Ali nods her head. “It was a beautiful love. You two were inseparable. Andrew would do anything for you to make you happy.
You were, and still are, the most
important thing in his life. You two will find a way. I know it, and you have to believe it as well.”

             
“It's just so hard. I feel like so lost and empty.”

             
“
The love you share is too special to be forgotten.
It will take time, but honey, I believe you two will figure it out.”

             
I really hope she's right.

* * * *

Caroline picks me up from our house. She still doesn't have enough confidence to step back into that house and greet our mother for the first time in seven months. I feel like she should do it when she's ready, but I know our mother would love to see her sooner rather than later.

             
I guess Andrew, William, Alex, Lilah, and Ella want to have a conversation with me there. They probably want to talk about what happened in the jail cell that Lucian locked me in for days. Hopefully we can come up with a plan to force my memory back.

             
We pull up to the Madsen residence, and butterflies swarm my stomach. It feels like they've been posioned. I hate feeling this way. It's absolutely miserable.

             
Caroline and I walk into the house. Everyone is sitting on the couches by the fire. Well, that's pretty normal.

             
Everyone stands up when they see me walk into the living room. Lilah and Ella come over and hug me tight. They stay silent as they make their way back to the couch. William just nods his head at me as he grabs Caroline's hand. Andrew walks over toward me and we hug awkwardly. This is going to be a long conversation.

             
“I'll start,” Lilah blurts out. “We all know Lucian is a bastard, and he has what's coming to him. I know I didn't expect Julian to be a traitor, but that's not what I want to talk about right now,” she says as she rolls her eyes in anger. “Nina,” Lilah looks at me. “I'm sorry Lucian did that to you. We've tried to come up with ways to restore your memory, but it just seems impossible.”

             
Ella clears her voice. “What Lilah means is we've never encountered anything like this before. We've never tried to bring anyone's memory back after they've been forced to forget. But, we're planning on contacting our parents as soon as possible to see if they have a solution to this madness.”

             
My eyes hit the floor. “So, are you telling me that I'm never going to remember Andrew again?” I ask in almost a whisper.

             
“That was never said, Nina. I will find a way. I will do everything in my power. I'm not going to give up on you,” Andrew starts to tear up as the words come out of his mouth. “I love you, and that will never change. Always and forever.”

             
“That's something we said to each other all the time,” I say in barely a whisper. “I read it in my diary.”

             
“Yes, we do,” Andrew clears his throat. It looks like he's fighting back tears.

             
“So,” I pause for a second and look at all of the faces around me. “What do we do now?”

             
Everyone stays silent for a minute. I see they're all deep in thought. I don't think anyone knows what to do now. Where do we go from here? Do I continue to feel lost and empty? Do I continue to feel a gaping hole tearing me apart inside because I know something is missing? The sad thing is, I know what's missing, and I know it's impossible to get back. Andrew. Our memories. I wish there was some kind of hope. I wish there was something I can hold onto.

             
“I have an idea,” Andrew blurts out. “Tomorrow, we will go see the Anderson witches. They must know something. They must be able to help us out somehow.”

             
“It's worth a try,” William says.

             
“It will work,” Andrew replies. “It has to.”

* * * *

The conversation took just as long as I thought it would. No one knows what to do. We have a couple leads that we can try, but what if that doesn't work? What's going to happen then? I'm going to lose love and happiness. I know that's what's going to happen, I'm just not sure if I'm ready for that.

              “Can I take you home?” Andrew asks me.

             
“Sure,” I say. Why not?

             
Andrew opens the car door for me and smiles. “You have a nice smile,” I admit. How could I forget a face like his? It just doesn't seem possible, but I live in a world that anything could be possible.

             
“Thank you, love,” Andrew says as he closes the door. That's weird to hear him say. It's awkward, I barely know him. Well, technically, I know him very well, but right now I don't.

             
It takes us ten minutes to reach my house. A long and awkward ten minutes. I've never felt so out of place before. We sat in silence the whole time. Is that how it always was?

             
“I want to go with you to the Anderson's tomorrow,” I demand nicely.

             
“Anything you want,” Andrew says without arguing. That was easier than I thought it would be.

             
“So, I'll see you tomorrow?” I ask as I look at the ground in front of me.

             
“I'll pick you up sometime in the afternoon,” Andrew replies with a soft smile on his face.

             
I stay silent. Andrew walks over toward me and kisses me gently on my forehead. It felt normal, right. My body starts to tremble and butterflies fill my stomach. Is this how I always felt when he touched me? I feel these feelings that I have never felt before, that I never thought I would ever feel.

             
Andrew turns to walk away and then stops. “I'm not going to give up on you. Even if it takes me ten years. Even if you don't want me. Even if you fall in love with someone else. I will not give up on you, on us. That's a promise.”

             
I hope he keeps that promise.

Chapter 26

Asking The Witches For Help

Dear Diary,

             
I understand that Lucian is the one that made me forget about Andrew, but I just don't understand how I could forget such a gentle and loving soul. I could see how I fell in love with him, how I gave everything I had to him. He seems so easy to love. He seems so perfect.

             
The words Andrew spoke last night are echoing in my thoughts. I can't seem to shake them, and I don't want to. He really loves me. I can't believe someone loves me as much as he does.

             
I have hope. I have hope the Anderson witches will help us. Hope and faith, don't give up on me now. I need you now more than ever.

Love, Nina

* * * *

I hear the door bell ring and I jump. My heart feels like it just dropped into my stomach. I know exactly who it is, it's Andrew. I feel like a little girl. My emotions are going crazy. I don't know what to think or how to feel, I just know this vampire loves me with all of his
being, and he would sacrifice
himself if it meant I would be safe.

             
“Andrew,” I hear my mom's voice. “It's so nice to see you again.”

             
I grab my purse and make my way down the stairs. I look into Andrew's eyes and I see them glistening in the light. He smiles. “Nina, are you ready?”

             
“Yes,” I say as I nod my head. I hope this car ride isn't as awkward as last night's was.