Seductive Truths (Seductive Trilogy) (42 page)

    
‘
I would never do that…
’

    
‘
Not consciously, no, but unintentionally you’ll be reminded and may lash out, blaming her for the silliest of things.  After all, she does look like him a bit.
’

     Maggie becomes silent all of a sudden and her raised eyebrows begin to frown.

    
Why the dramatic change?  What have I sa…
Shit!  I’ve said too much.  Maybe I should have kept the last part to myself
.
  How can I have been so stupid?

    
‘
What did you mean by…?
’

    
‘
Forget I even said anything.
’

    
‘
Alex…
’
    
‘
I shouldn’t even be having this conversation with you.
’

    
‘
Alex…
’

    
‘
I promised myself…
’

    
‘
Alex!
’
  I gradually look up from the floor to meet the torment running through her mind and seeping through the windows of her eyes.  The light has dawned and my worst fears are now coming true.  With the choice of a few badly chosen words she’s working it out.  She knows.

    
‘
Who, killed, my husband?
’

    
‘
I can’t…
’

    
‘
Who killed him?
’
she screams with fists in balls ready to hit something, as Maggie finally comes to the end of her tether.

    
‘
William!  It was William okay!  It was all him!  My fiancé killed your husband!
’

     Tired, fed up and with streams of tears leaking down my cla
mmy cheek, I stare devastated
at the destruction I have just unleashed as a deathly silence falls around us. 

     Oh God, what have I done?

     My mind races with what to do next, but there is nothing I can do.  I am now stuck in a hopeless situation and no matter what I say or do it cannot be fixed.  Our relationship is now torn into tatters. 

    
I don’t belong here anymore.  I can’t continue like this, in this life, with the truth hanging over us. 
It would tear what little remains until we are left with nothing but debris.  It’s not fair on Maggie.  It’s not fair on Bethany.  It’s best if I just left them to it.  Walk out and never look back.

    
‘
Where is Uncle Wiyiam, mummy?
’
 

     Heart in my throat, I turn around to see a very tired Bethany standing at the edge of the doorway, her favourite teddy bear clutched in her right arm.  My heart goes out to this vulnerable child.  She has been thrust into a new stage of her life too early for one so young.  A person of her age shouldn’t have to deal with no father figure.  Shouldn’t have to deal with the situation she has been dumped in full stop.

    
‘
What are you doing out of bed?
’
Maggie’s soothing voice is back and she brushes past me to kneel down to Bethany’s level.

    
‘
I heard shouting.  It woke me up.
’

    
‘
I’m so sorry Beth.  Your Auntie and I were just having a rather loud debate.
’

    
‘
What is a d-d-debet?
’
she squeaks.

    
‘
A debate is where you discuss a certain subject.
’

    
‘
Were you talking about Uncle Wiyiam?
’

    
‘
Yes sweetie, we were talking about Uncle William.
’

    
‘
Has he been bad?
’
she asks, looking from her mother to me then back to her mother, eyes still clouded with sleep.

    
‘
Yes darling.
’

    
‘
Are you going to put him on the naughty step?
’

    
‘
No sweetie, I won’t be doing that, he deserves far worse,
’
Maggie mumbles the last.

    
‘
Are you going to tell him off?
’

    
‘
I don’t know what to do.
’
  She glances over her shoulder to me and sincerely says,
‘
I don’t know what to do, but I will keep my promise.  I never go back on my word.
’

    
‘
What promise mummy?
’
  Her attention is drawn back to the innocent child in front of her, currently in the process of yawning.

    
‘
Never mind that little one.  I think it is about time you went back to bed.  I think it’s about time we all headed to bed.  I have had enough for one day.
’
  With that she lifts a very droopy-eyed Bethany into her arms and disappears upstairs leaving me to clear up.

    
Well, that couldn’t have gone any better!
 

     In the end, I think I’ve done the right thing in telling her the truth.  I hope I have.  When it comes down to it, she had a right to know.  The question is what will she do with the information? 

     Catching sight of the two full glasses of wine remaining on the table, I decide to knock them back before turning off the lights, shutting up the place and heading to bed.




     …The car remains in a straight line, getting faster and faster - 30mph, 40mph, and 50mph.

     I turn to my instructor with fear only to be further shocked at seeing William staring back at me, gun in hand, and barrel pointing directly at my forehead. 
This is it
I panic. 
This is how my life is going to end
.

    
‘
That’s it Alex, keep on driving.
’

    
‘
Stop it William, just stop it!  How could you?  How could you?
’
  Tears start to slide down my cheek as an image of Thomas’s face…no wait, it’s not him but my sister-in-law, Maggie’s sparkling features that comes crashing into my windscreen then hurtles over the car’s bonnet.  Before smashing into her body, in slow motion, I see her mouth the word
‘
liar
’
.

     I look into the rear view mirror to see the horrific scene of her body lying bloody and crumpled on the cold, damp tarmac, but that is not all.  Lying sprawled next to her is the
broken
body of my niece.  Anger coursing through my bloodstream at my uncontrollable act, I crane my head back round to my passenger, ready to spit a thousand hatred words at him, but I am stopped in my tracks when I see who is staring back at me.

     Silvery blue light shines in my direction surrounded by dirty blonde locks flopping down either side, framing his handsomely rough face.  No smile appears this time however.  His face is set in stone as he harshly accuses into the darkness,
‘
What have you done?  You did this to them Alex.  If you had only kept your big gob shut none of this would have happened.  It’s your fault Alex, your fault they’re dead.
’

     Gareth’s face fades away into nothing, leaving me in darkness and with only the whisper of his gravelly voice echoing around me. 

    
‘
It’s not true, it’s not true, it’s not true,
’
repeats over and over again.

     Then out of nowhere the image jumps to a graveyard, but it is one gravestone in particular that stands out.  It hasn’t the beginnings of rot or moss coverage and the inscription is a clear as day:
‘
Here lies Thomas Andrew Brown, Husband, Father, Son and Brother.  May he rise with the truth.
’
 

     Hold on a sec, that’s not what is usually written
.  Just as I am about to take a step closer a hand breaks through the grassy mound where Thomas’s grave lies.  I scream and try to leap back but I am firmly held in place.

     This inevitably startles me awake, heart thumping against my body like stones being p
elted at my chest, breath comes
in short spurts, sweat slicken
ed
skin and eyes as wide as saucers. 

    
‘
I did the right thing, I did the right thing,
’
is all I murmur. 
But why?
 
‘
I told her the truth, I did the right thing.
’
 

     As I lay back down into the pillow, breathing regulated, heart normal, one thought crops up. 
What’s not true?
 

     It’s strangely quiet as I make my way down the stairs.  The clicking of the clock in the hallway echoes about the house and I hear the carpet shifting under the weight of my feet.

    
‘
Maggie?  Bethany?
’
but I get no answer. 

     As I stroll into the kitchen I see a note leaning against the fruit bowl. 

Gone to take Bethany to school and do a bit of shopping. Be back around 12.  Help yourself.

Maggie x

    
Good opportunity to get out of the house, clear my mind
.

     Grabbing the note and pen I quickly scribble ‘Just popped out for a walk.  See you later.  Love A’ and after a quick deliberation decide to add, ‘P.S. Sorry’.  Simple and to the point.

     Collecting my coat and one of Maggie’s scarfs hanging on the pegs I head out into the fresh, but rather mild and cloudy air.  On the horizon darker clouds begin to form.  With the threat of rain, I snatch up an umbrella then close the front door.

     Walking along the pavement my mind floats towards William without my consent.  Him of all people!  I guess in light of last night’s conversation it’s not surprising.  What I don’t understand are these feelings that still flood my veins each time I think of him.  How is it possible to still love the man after I know what I do? 

     The touch of his hand, the way he whispered my name as we laid sweaty and complete in the comfort of our bed, sheets shoved to the floor in our rampant need to expose ourselves.  His ruffled hair in the mornings and the glistening sparkle of the sun’s ray as it drifted through the window to illuminate his flawless skin.  I remember the tender lips he used to wake me with as they started at my hip bone and slowly work
ed
their way up to my nose.  All this kindness, the care is overshadowed by what he has done.  Who would have ever thought such a gentle human being could have the darkest soul.

     Now I find my heart torn in two, no three, ways.  Maggie and Bethany have a piece, William retains another, but the majority belongs with Gareth and our possible future.  Come to think of it, it would be four if I include my brother amongst those I love.  He may not be with us anymore, but that doesn’t mean my heart has stopped beating for him.  I still love him, always will.  He was the rock throughout my youth.  I may have been the big sister but he acted the elder more times than not.  He was the one who looked out for me, especially in our teenage years.  Thomas was the one I ran to when I couldn’t confide in our parents.  I told him absolutely everything.  What I wouldn’t give to have him here now, to help me through this trauma.  He would know what to do.  He always did.  But if he were here today I wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place!

     As I step through the gates and into the park my eyes are drawn straight towards the bench under the tree.  A cold shiver crawls over my back, breaking through the thick fabric of my coat and finding skin.  I become on edge and my body naturally tenses.

     My feet take me towards the bench.  I don’t want to go there, every vibe is screaming for me to walk in the opposite direction, but just like a car accident, I can’t help but take a closer look. 

     Sitting down in the centre a warm presence cushions my buttocks and every nerve ending is sent tingling.  It’s as if someone has just literally vacated the space after occupying it for several hours.  However, I saw no one get up and walk away.  No one is anywhere near enough to have just left either.  And yet the unsettling feeling remains.