Seductive Truths (Seductive Trilogy) (30 page)

    
‘
Here we are.  You better take the chair beside him; you are looking a bit pale yourself.
’

    
‘
I’m fine.  Just worried.

    
‘
If you’re sure…
’

    
‘
Yes.
’

    
‘
Okay.  We advise people to talk.  We encourage it.  It may appear he is unresponsive but that doesn’t mean he can’t hear you.  He needs to know you are here.  I will come by later to check on him,
’
and with a smile she turns and leaves.

     Numbly I make my way to his bedside.  My heartbeat increases as the gap draws shorter and eventually I find myself resting on the edge of the chair tenderly cradling his lifeless hand.

    
‘
Thank God you’re alive, Gareth,
’
I whisper as tears of relief slowly slide down my cold cheeks. 
‘
Don’t know what I would’ve done if you…I can’t bear thinking of life without you in it.  Look what you’ve done to me!  I’m a blubbering disaster!
’
I chuckle weakly. 
‘
Don’t ever scare me like that again.  Do you hear me Gareth, not ever.  I don’t think my heart could bear it.
’

     Closing my eyes I rest my forehead on his cool skin.

    
‘
What a mess.  It seems my life has been one big lie.
’
  I gaze up to his face. 
‘
What have you dragged me into Gareth?  What has my life become?  What have
I
become for that matter?  I no longer want the white picket fence, the security of a husband with a well-established job, nor the day to day activities of food shopping, work, nights in front of the TV with my loved one or nights out socialising with my friends.  None of that matters anymore, not to the same extent it used to.  All I want is you.  It’s mad, I know, but it’s the truth.

    
‘
I shouldn’t want you.  I should run for the hills, get as far away as I can while I can, but…instead I am doing the opposite.  Why is this?  Why am I going against everything I know, everything that I would usually do?  You’re dangerous, unpredictable and unsafe.  You are no good to me, you are a damaged man and yet I still want you.  Desperately.

    
‘
I have this uncontrollable urge to fix you, to help you heal your past so you are able to look forward to the future instead of living each day as they come, always playing the game of life or death.  I don’t want to wake up one day to find you the headline of a newspaper with your body splattered across the front page.  I don’t want to have a life without you.  Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?  You better be hearing every word because I won’t be admitting this again.  It’s hard enough the first time.
’
  

     I get nothing but the steady bleep from the monitors, a constant reminder of the vulnerable state he is in, all at the hands of my fiancé, William.  I still can’t get to grips with all that has been said.  It’s too much to process; my fragile mind can’t cope, not right now.  All I see is Gareth and the want, the need for him to recover.

     The steady rhythmic sound of the monitor and the scuffling of nurses in the corridor blend into a hypnotic lullaby and I feel myself succumbing to its magic.  My eventful days have finally caught up to me.

     My eyelids become heavy.

     Head starts to droop.

     Shoulders slacken. 

     Chest sinks into the soft bedding.

     My cheek glides against Gareth’s unresponsive fingertips as the remnants of consciousness drips away.




     I can’t see. 

     My hands guide my way through the blackness surrounding me.  Every shaky step is another move into the unknown.  I could be walking to my death for all I know, but that thought doesn’t stop me from searching.  Always searching, never finding.

     The air is stifling.  I taste smoke on the tip of my tongue as I breathe in through my mouth.  I’m racked with a coughing fit as it hits the back of my throat.

     Gasping.

     Clutching at my chest.

     Suffocating.

    
‘
Leave me.
’

     I spin around in the direction of the hauntingly familiar voice. 
‘
Who’s there?
’

    
‘
Leave me,
’
it says again, but this time closer. 

     I start shuffling backwards, my head whipping around in all sorts of direction, struggling to see through the thickness of the pitch black room. 

    
‘
I can’t.  I can never leave you!
’
I find myself saying, but to who?  Deep down I know but can’t put a name to them.  It’s confusing, just one big mess.

    
‘
You must leave.  Stay away from me.  I’m no good to you; I’m no good to anyone anymore.  Runaway.
’

    
‘
I can’t.  I can’t.  I…I…lo…
’

    
‘
I’m leaving you.
’

     Panicky I reply,
‘
I love you!
’

     Silence feels the darkness.  My skin turns cold and I find it difficult to breathe.  The blood that runs through my veins flows rapidly with every beat of the heart, trying to find an escape but losing the battle.  I am trapped within myself if that is even possible.  My eyes have been opened to a whole other world, nowadays anything can be possible.

    
‘
I don’t love you,
’
the deep timbre of his voice breaks my heart in two.  The admission shatters my world and I crumble to the floor.  My beating organ is ripped from my chest leaving me empty inside.  Silent tears fall from my eyes as the man I’ve come to love causes bittersweet loneliness to settle like the morning dew.

    
‘
You do not need me, you do not want me.  You need your family.  You want the one thing you thought you could never have.  You are not alone.  You will never be alone again.
’

    
‘
But I
do
want you and I do
need
you…
’

    
‘
Goodbye.
’

    
‘
No!
’
I scream and leap forward in my last defying act to reach for him.  To keep him here with me, however, all I come in contact with is the breath of thin air.  With gravity as my enemy I continuously fall.  I try to grab on to something, anything but there is nothing there to hold on to.  There is nothing to help me. 

     Where am I?

     Where am I going?

     Where will I finish?

     But just as these thoughts are formed I come crashing down to the hard reality of truth and find myself lying in a pool of warm, sticky substance, which is covering me from head to toe.  Nothing is left untouched.

     I can’t breathe.

     I can’t move.

     I can’t see.

    
‘
Lexi.
’

    
It can’t be!




     A light touch to my shoulder startles me from my doze, causing me to jolt in reflex.  Groggily I painstakingly open my eyes and turn to see the nurse from before.  Nurse Harding as I recall.

    
‘
Sorry to wake you Mrs Brown, but I have two police officers to see you.
’

     Peering over her shoulder I see two men dressed smartly in their police uniforms waiting at the door.  One is clearly higher in rank and much older, probably in his early fifties with speckled grey hair and a serious demeanour filled with knowledge and worldly experience.  The young man by his side, pad and pen at the ready, can’t me much older than twenty-five,
what with his light, fluffy brown hair, crystal blue eyes, eager and innocent.  This young lad is still learning.

    
‘
Oh, right.  Thank you Nurse Harding.
’

    
‘
You may come in gentleman, but don’t tire her out with a load of questions.  She’s been through a lot already.
’
  She turns back to me saying,
‘
I’ll be back later,
’
before leaving me in the hands of the two coppers.

    
‘
We’ll be as quick as possible Mrs Brown,
’
the older comments. 
‘
I’m Detective Chief Inspector West and this is Detective Sergeant Peters.
’

    
‘
Hello.
’

    
‘
This may be hard for you, so take your time,
’
says Peters, clicking his pen and poising it over the crisp sheet of paper, ready to begin. 
‘
In your own words, can you tell me the events of what happened?
’

    
‘
Well,
’
time for the lies
. 
‘
I didn’t actually witness what happened.  I only came across him when I went out looking for him.
’

    
‘
And why were you looking for him, Mrs Brown?
’
Peters continues.

    
‘
We had a huge row, which ended with him storming out of the house.  Once I calmed down I went to search for him.
’
 
You’re doing well Alex, but watch your step.  Keep it nice and simple
. 
‘
Half an hour later, I found him slumped against a wall, with blood pouring from his side.  At first I didn’t know what to do.  I simply stood there feeling helpless, but eventually I managed to gather my wits enough to phone for an ambulance.
’

    
‘
What made you decide to venture into that part of town?  A good looking, vulnerable woman, such as yourself, in a dangerous area, weren’t you scared something would happen to you?
’

     My eyes harden and I snap,
‘
What are you trying to insinuate DS Peters?
’

    
‘
Yes Sergeant,
’
West steps in. 
‘
What
are
you implying?  I kindly remind you to keep to just asking the questions.  We are here to find out what happened, not accuse the witness.
’
  Turning back to face me he says,
‘
Sorry Miss, excuse my Sergeant.  He’s young and still learning.  Do carry on.
’

    
‘
As I was saying,
’
here I glare at the accuser. 
‘
I found my husband slumped in a seedy part of London.  It’s normally a place I wouldn’t dare venture, however, I know my husband and he likes to visit The Hag pub, so it was my first port of call.  Thank God I made the right decision.  I don’t want to think what may have happened if I didn’t find him when I did.  The doctor said he was only a few minutes away from death.  The ambulance got to him in time.
’
 

     Tears spring to my eyes.    

    
‘
I know this is tough,
’
West says.
‘
But I’m afraid we have to ask you a couple more questions.
’

    
‘
T-that’s okay officer.  Please, continue.
’

    
‘
When you arrived, did you see anyone flee the scene?
’
West carries on with the questioning while Peters is left to scribble down the information on his trusty little notebook.

    
‘
No.  All I saw were a few drunken people milling around outside the pub, apart from that, no one.
’

    
‘
Do you know what happened?  Whether he was shot accidentally or intently?
’

    
‘
No, sorry, I have no idea.  I never saw what happened, all I heard was a bang and that’s when I began running in the direction it came from.  That’s when I came across my husband lying in pool of his own blood.
’