Seducing His Heart (27 page)

Whit straightened out his jacket and hurried
out the door before the doorman could make good on his threat.

Did I break her heart? She wasn’t in love
with me. Oh, yeah, so maybe we each said that once, but in the heat
between the sheets, hey, we say things. What did she think was
going to happen at dinner?

The next day, he found the
keys to the stone house in an envelope, taped to his door.
Shit!
He tried calling,
texting, emailing, but didn’t get a response from Bess. Finally, he
wrote a note and taped it, and the keys, to her door.

Bess,

Please take these back. You told me you were
going to furnish the house for me. I’m counting on it. I’m sorry if
I hurt you. I didn’t mean to. I’ll miss you. But I’m not going
forever. I hope when I get back we can share some weekends at the
stone house. You’re special to me. I thought we had an
understanding. I see I was wrong. I guess I was stupid. I hope
you’ll forgive me.

Whit

P.S. Please use the house as your own.

Not signing “love”. Don’t commit again.
That’s what got me in trouble in the first place. I’m gonna drop
that word from my vocabulary.

That night, he found a note under his
door.

I’m not a welsher. I’ll furnish the house,
as I promised. As for weekends there together, don’t count on it. A
lot can happen between now and whenever you get back.

Bess

P.S. Though you didn’t ask, yes, I’ll keep
Homer while you’re away.

Whit let out a
breath.
She agreed to furnish the house.
That means I can probably see her again. I hope so. I didn’t mean
for us to be over.
This relationship was
like riding a roller coaster, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for
the hills and steep drops.

He sent Bess an email invitation to have
dinner with him before he left, but she declined. His heart was
heavy. Instead, he managed to squeeze in one last appointment with
Dr. Sumner. He eased into the chair opposite the doctor, uncertain
as to what he’d be talking about.

“
I have to ask. Did you
find the answer to the question?” The doctor sat back.

“
Why I haven’t sold the
house? No. No answer. But I’m furnishing it.”

“
Oh?”

“
My girlfriend, Bess…wait.
She’s not my girlfriend anymore. She said she’d finish doing the
house while I’m away.”

“
Why isn’t she your
girlfriend?”

“
I don’t know. I took her
to a fancy restaurant to tell her I was leaving. When I told her,
she freaked out. Got up and left before even ordering.”

“
Why do you think she did
that?”

“
I have no idea. And she
wouldn’t tell me. And now, she’s not speaking to me.”

“
What did you tell
her?’

“
That I was taking this
job…”

“
No, I mean before. Before
you got to the restaurant. Did you say anything
special?”

“
Only that I had something
to tell her.”

“
Oh?”

“
Yeah. So?”

“
You said you had
something to tell her, and you wanted to take her to a fancy
restaurant to do it?”

He nodded.

“
What do you think a woman
might suspect? Would a guy take her to an expensive restaurant to
break up with her? Unlikely. What might he want to say to her in a
place like that?”

The light bulb went on in Whit’s head. He
buried his face in his hands. “Oh my God. I never thought…”

The doctor sat quietly.

“
You think she was
expecting me to propose?”

“
Would explain her
reaction, wouldn’t it?”

“
Poor Bess. That’s…that’s
terrible. Oh my God, I had no idea. I never thought she’d… I told
her I don’t commit. She was fine with it.”

“
Do you think she’d be
upset if she planned to turn you down?”

“
She’d be relieved, right?
She got so pale. Her hands shook. I thought she was going to fall
down. She wouldn’t wait for me. Wouldn’t let me take her home. Now,
she won’t speak to me.”

“
Do you blame
her?”

“
Oh, God. I went to her
house. Banged on the door, demanded to know what happened. What an
insensitive asshole.” He shook his head.

“
She’s in love with
you.”

“
Why didn’t I see
it?”

“
I don’t know, Whit. Why
didn’t you?”

Pain shot through him at the thought of the
anguish he’d caused Bess. He’d never wanted to hurt her. Now, he
had. Seriously. And he was leaving in a few days.

“
I guess it’s easier to
move on if I didn’t think she was in love with me.”

“
Bingo.”

“
I’m an idiot.”

Silence.

“
She’s
wonderful.”

“
Do you love her?” The
doctor crossed his legs.

“
Guess I do.”

“
Don’t you
know?”

“
Okay, okay. Yeah. I do.”
Whit crossed his legs.

“
Still not gonna
commit?”

“
Can’t. I’m on my way. I
have to do this. She’s in love with me, but she won’t speak to me.
Exactly what I expected. Love doesn’t mean anything. A woman’ll
still run out on you, even if she loves you. Bess is a perfect
example.”

Dr. Sumner uncrossed his legs and sat
forward. “Wait a minute. Who ran out on who?”

Whit cocked an eyebrow. “What do you
mean?”

“
You ran out on her, Whit.
At least be honest with yourself. You told her you were leaving.
She didn’t leave you. You thrust her aside.”

“
I did?” He paused. “Guess
I did.”

“
And she’s still willing
to furnish the house for you?”

“
Said a deal’s a deal. But
she won’t spend a weekend there with me.”

“
Can you blame her? Think
of how she must have felt. Furnishing that house with the idea
she’d live there with you as husband and wife.”

“
Thanks for making it
worse, doc.” Whit looked down at his hands.

“
I’m not doing anything.
I’m only holding up a mirror so you can see the truth. If you don’t
like what you see, it’s because of what you’ve done. Your behavior.
Has nothing to do with me.”

“
I don’t like what I see.
I’ve broken her heart, and I never meant to. Now, she’s going to
break mine.”

“
If you don’t like what
you see, change the picture.”

“
You mean look at
something else?”

“
No, do something
different with your life. It’s not too late to make
amends.”

“
She’s not speaking to
me.”

“
Smart man like you can
find a way around that. You don’t have to get your heart
broken.”

“
I don’t know what to
do.”

“
What did you do to win
her?”

“
I don’t know. Be
myself?”

“
That works for me. Don’t
give up, Whit. This woman seems like a keeper.”

“
That’s what I wanted. I
wanted her to wait for me.”

“
Did you ask her
to?”

“
Sort of. I
assumed…”

“
Ah, ah, big mistake.
Never assume. Communicate.”

“
I don’t know if I’m going
to like it there. I want her here for me when I get back. I won’t
be staying there forever.”

“
When you first decided to
go, it was to be a permanent change.”

“
Now, I’m not so
sure.”

“
What’s
changed?”

“
I don’t know. Bess? The
stone house?”

“
Only you have the answer
to that question, Whit.”

“
Another one…a question
you won’t answer.” He shifted in his seat.

“
I don’t have the answer.
The answer’s in here.” The doctor gestured toward his
chest.

“
I have the
answer?”

“
That’s right. To both
questions.”

“
Of course, you’re
right.”

“
You’ll figure it out,
Whit. I have confidence in you.”

“
That makes one of us.
Geez, I’ve fucked up everything. So sure I had all the answers. Now
the only thing I’m sure of is that I don’t have any answers at
all.”

“
That’s the first step
toward finding happiness,” the doctor said.

“
It’s a helluva first
step.”

The doctor glanced at the clock. “Time’s up
for today.”

Whit stood up. “I don’t know when I’ll be
back.”

“
You have my number if you
need me.”

“
I’m a little uncertain
about leaving you, doc.”

“
You’re ready. Ready for
the next step.”

“
Whatever the hell that
is?”

“
Right. You’ll figure it
out. You’re on the right path.”

Whit stuck his hand out, and the doctor
shook it.

“
We can continue when you
return to the States.”

“
Okay. That’s good. You’re
sure I’m ready?”

“
Sink or swim. It’s
time.”

Whit left, choosing to
walk home in the cold to think. The idea that Bess might have been
expecting a marriage proposal made him cringe.
Why didn’t I see that? How can I be such a fucking
idiot?
The memory of banging on her door,
demanding an explanation, shamed him.
She
must have felt humiliated.

Bess, if ever I was going
to propose to someone, it would be you. Will she ever forgive me?
Will she ever speak to me again?
His
thoughts hung heavy on his heart, pushing out excitement about his
adventure in Asia.

* * * *

Bess found out from Crash
that Whit planned to leave on a Monday.
Perfect. The Dinner Club will be here to help me.
She wanted to talk to him. To kiss him goodbye,
to find out why he didn’t want to marry her, why he chose to go
away instead. But she chickened out.
How
do you ask a man why he won’t marry you and have any self-respect
left? Because he doesn’t love me. I’ve gotta face that, like it or
not.

She cuddled on the sofa
with Dumpling and Homer. The wind rattled the panes of glass in her
windows. She pulled the afghan Rory had made for her tighter around
her legs. Thursday was Thanksgiving, and she dreaded the
holiday.
Nowhere to go. Nothing to
do.
She’d hoped to make a spectacular
Thanksgiving dinner for Whit and her friends in the stone house,
but now that wouldn’t happen.

There were a ton of chores
awaiting her in the place. Walls to be done, rugs, linens, and
dishes to be purchased. She’d put on music and paint on
Thanksgiving, making the house almost ready for Christmas.
Christmas without Whit.
The idea brought tears to her eyes.
I’m going to have Christmas there, Whit or no
Whit.

Crash was to buzz her when the car arrived
for Whit. She pushed the blanket off her legs and paced. According
to the clock, it was due in ten minutes. She leashed Homer so he
could give Whit a farewell lick. Three buzzes gave her the signal,
and she headed for the elevator.

In the lobby, Crash was loading luggage in
the trunk. Bess stood inside, by the small space heater. Whit
rushed by, not seeing her. Homer’s bark drew his attention.

“
Bess!”

“
I thought you’d like to
say goodbye to Homer.”

He bent down to pet the pug. “I’m going to
miss you, Homes. You’ll be in good hands ’til I get back.” He
turned toward Bess. “I’d like to say goodbye to you.”

She gasped.

“
Wait! Wait. That didn’t
come out right. I don’t want to say goodbye, maybe farewell for
now. Damn it, I want to kiss you.” He took her by surprise, pulling
her close for a passionate kiss.

Homer jumped on Whit’s leg, but it didn’t
break them up. The softness of his lips and the insistence of his
tongue lured her. She melted against him, open and yearning for
more. She snaked her arms around his waist, tightening her
grip.

“
S’cuse me,” Crash
said.

The lovers parted.

“
Sorry. Sorry.”

“
It’s all packed up, Mr.
Bass.”

“
Fine, thanks, Crash.” He
slipped the doorman a twenty-dollar bill.

Whit turned his gaze to her, his eyes
melancholy. “There’s so much I want to say to you.”

She stared at him.

“
Please say you’ll write
to me.” He combed her hair back from her face with his
fingers.

“
Email?”

“
Perfect.” He bent down to
pet Homer again. The pug licked his face. “Hey, buddy. Hang on,
okay? Be good to Dumpling. Don’t steal her bones. Take care of
Bess.” He scratched the dog behind the ears then straightened. “Can
I call you?”

She gave one nod. Tears
choked her.
He’s leaving, really leaving,
and I never told him how I felt. Never asked him to stay. I shut
him out and hid away. Stupid, stupid girl.