SeducedByTheAntiHero (19 page)

“Emma! You should go on long vacations more often. The
revisions you’ve made to your novel are exactly what this story needed,” Jessica
gushed from the large overstuffed armchair directly across the coffee table
from Emma. But they might as well have been talking about the weather for all
the attention Emma paid her. Instead, she took in her surroundings with an
unnatural attention to detail that would have been missed had she been more
socially engaged. The bookstore was unusually packed tonight for a Tuesday,
though. Made Emma glad they had gotten there early to nab these chairs in a
semi-secluded area of the store.

“Hello.” Jessica snapped her fingers in front of Emma’s face,
pulling her back to the conversation. “You still with me, Sweetie?”

Jessica’s praise wasn’t exactly falling on deaf ears. Emma
was elated that her mentor was excited about her novel’s improvements. It was
just that she had been having trouble really focusing on anything since she had
come home over a week ago. The novel’s revisions weren’t keeping her engaged. Most
of them she had written before she had come home, anyway. Every time she went
back over her writing, she was reminded in some new and torturous way of Ben. She
couldn’t deny that his contributions to her plot and writing style immensely
improved her work. And she needed to shove on with her career. This was her
dream job. She couldn’t just let it fall through the cracks because she had a
broken heart.

So, she had bitten the bullet and pieced her story back
together, trying to force that delicious and infuriating man from her thoughts.
For the most part, she had succeeded and was able to present her new and
improved novel to Jessica at last week’s meeting.

Surprisingly, though, she wasn’t as eager to get her
feedback this time as she had been the first and it wasn’t because she worried
it would be negative.

“I’m sorry. Yes, I’m still here. Zoned out for a second is
all. There are just so many people here,” she said plastering a fake smile on
her face.

That was another thing that had changed. Along with her
usually intense focus, went her natural inclination to smile often. To put it
frankly, she was just miserable. She missed Ben and the thought of him alone
and miserable as well because he didn’t think he deserved any better was almost
as unbearable as not seeing him at all.

For some reason, though, she kept expecting to see or hear
from him but she was fairly certain that wasn’t going to happen. He had made
himself clear and was just stubborn enough that she knew he wouldn’t budge.

“And I think you’re ready to start submitting this
manuscript for publication.” Emma caught the tail end of what Jessica was
saying. When the other woman just looked at her expectantly, she felt her face
flame because she knew she had zoned out again. And she had been caught.

“I’m sorry.” She gave a sheepish smile. “What were you
saying?”

A concerned frown marred Jessica’s lovely features as she
leaned forward in her chair. “What’s bothering you, Emma?”

She froze. She knew she wasn’t exactly acting like herself,
but she had thought she could at least fake her way through this conversation. “Nothing,
“I’m fine,” she lied.

From the narrowed expression on Jessica’s face, she wasn’t
buying it. “I’m sitting here gushing about how wonderful your novel now is and
you’re a million miles away. That’s not like you. This is too important to you
to brush off.” She sat back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest. “Who
did you meet while you were away? I’m going to hazard a guess and say this is
about him.”

Shit
. Was it really that obvious that this was about
a man? There could be any number of problems going on in her life that didn’t
involve the male of their species. Granted, it was the intimacy between her
male and female main characters that had improved so vastly in her story and
she didn’t think that one could simply research that kind of connection on the
internet. Still, she decided to play dumb. “I don’t know what you’re talking
about.”

Jessica cocked an eyebrow. “Right. Just like I’m sure you
have no idea who that Adonis staring holes into your back over by the door is,
either.”

Emma spun around so fast she almost got whiplash. Sure
enough, there was Ben standing just inside the door, amber eyes glued to her. Immediately,
on first sight, her heart started thumping to the point her pulse felt like it
might escape right out of her suddenly very dry throat. What was he doing here?

As usual, he looked amazing. His dark hair was in sexy
disarray on his head, his jaw rough with the beginnings of dark stubble giving
him that devilish look that never failed to make her panties wet. He was
wearing his black leather jacket over a dark gray t-shirt and those dark worn
jeans rested dangerously low on his hips in a way that should be illegal. But
it was those whiskey-colored eyes that caught her attention. They looked
haunted, but at the same time, determined.

When their eyes connected the only change in his expression
was that lush mouth of his forming into a straight line. Neither of them moved
and soon she became aware of how silly they must look just staring across the
room at each other. So she made the first move.

“Excuse me,” she mumbled to Jessica, ignoring the knowing
smile breaking out along the woman’s face.

“Hi,” she said lamely when she reached him for lack of
knowing what else to say.

“Hi,” he replied in kind, shoving his hands in his pockets.

She knew damn well he hadn’t come all this way to make
awkward small talk with her and her curiosity got the better of her. “What are
you doing here?”

A line of pain formed right down the center of his face as
he scanned the crowded bookstore. “Can we go somewhere to talk? Someplace maybe
a little quieter?”

“Sure, my apartment is only down the street. We can go
there.” Whatever it was he came to tell her, she wanted to talk about without
an audience. As it was, the women of her writers’ group were staring at him
like they had never seen a man before. Well, she had to admit, men as hot as
Ben were few and far between.

Grabbing her purse and telling Jessica she would call, she
led Ben out of the store and started for her apartment. The short walk was
quiet and not a little bit tense and she searched her brain for anything that
might break the silence.

“How did you know where I was?”

“Chloe told me where you’d be if I came up tonight,” he
stated quietly without looking at her. It made sense that Chloe would have
spoken to him and she wondered what else they had talked about. Her friend had
been calling her at least twice a day since she left. Just checking in, she
said but Emma knew it was because she was worried about her. Emma didn’t blame
her. The last time they had seen each other, Emma hadn’t exactly been in the
most stable frame of mind. Not once had she mentioned Ben, though, and a heads
up about this visit would have been nice.

It didn’t take them long to reach her building and ride the
elevator up to her apartment. Still, the air between them remained quiet and
strained. Given Ben’s general dislike of verbal communication, she wondered how
painful this conversation was going to be on her end.

“Do you want something to drink?” she asked once they
entered the apartment and she took off her jacket.

He shook his head. “I’m good.” Then he said nothing else,
just braced his shoulder against the wall and stared at her with those intense
eyes.

Not knowing what to do with herself, she perched stiffly on
the edge of a couch cushion. Finally, it got to be too much. “You’re gonna have
to start talking, Ben. This silence is driving me crazy,” she blurted.

That incredible mouth tilted just a little at the corners
and he shoved himself away from the wall and came over to sit beside her on the
couch. But when he turned to face her, that little smile disappeared and was
once again replaced by that line of pain.

“What you said to me before you left. You meant that, didn’t
you.” It wasn’t a question. He knew she had been perfectly sincere. This was
more that he was confused by what she had said, couldn’t believe what she had
said and maybe wanted confirmation that she
had
actually said it. He
didn’t make it up.

“I meant every single word.” Hopefully this time her words
would sink in, but he just shook his head.

“So you just drop the ‘I love you’ bomb and leave?” There
was accusation in his tone and it flabbergasted her.

“You
told
me to leave! What was I supposed to do? Hang
around and beg you to open your eyes and believe me?”

There was a pause then when he didn’t fire back a reply and
he seemed to be gathering his words. “I didn’t come here to fight with you,
especially about this. I believe you, Emma.”

She took a deep breath and held it. “Then what did you come
here for?”

Moving forward, he cupped her face in his big, warm hands. “You,
Sugar.” He kissed her lips softly and she stopped breathing altogether. “I came
here for you.”

This time when he kissed her, the numbing shock started to
wear off and she all but climbed into his lap as she deepened the kiss. He
groaned and
did
pull her into his lap to straddle his hips as he
consumed her.

God, she had missed him. Missed his hard body pressed up
against hers, missed his soft lips covering hers, pushing them apart to let his
tongue slide over hers. She had missed his warmth and his dry sense of humor. Most
of all, she had missed the steady comfort of his presence. It had only been a
week but she felt like she had been walking through fog without him. Like there
was nothing solid to anchor her back to the Earth.

But before she could get completely lost in him, she needed
to clarify a few things first. “Wait,” she panted, breathless as she broke
their kiss and pulled back. He growled in disapproval at the loss of contact
with her mouth but she held him off when he tried to pull her back to him. “
Wait
,
Ben. You’re here for me. What exactly does that mean?”

Sighing, he rested his head back against the couch, settling
his body deeper into the cushions and adjusting her body on top of him. “It
means that when you left I had a lot of time to think. You were right. I’ve
lived so long with the stigma of what happened to Tim and the low expectations
of everyone around me that I just figured that was the way it was. It wasn’t
ever going to change. I got too complacent and that’s never a good thing, baby.
Mostly I just stuck around for my brothers and nowhere else appealed to me. Didn’t
think a new location would be any different than the one I was in. But then I
met you.” A soft smile curved his lips. “You didn’t know me but you saw me more
clearly than anyone in my life ever has. Including me. When you left, it didn’t
feel right.
I
didn’t feel right. You made me see that, at the very
least, I needed to get the hell out of that town and away from the toxic people
around me.”

Speaking of… “What about Paul? Do you think he’ll try to
find you?”

A rueful smile touched his lips and he shook his head. “I
actually took your advice after that last night at the bar and called the cops.
I meant it when I said that I was done being his whipping boy.”

Gratification filled her. It was about damn time he realized
that he didn’t deserve all the bullshit that Paul had put him through. “So what
happened to him?”

Ben’s smile broadened into a grin that was infectious. She
felt the mirth in his eyes bubbling up inside her until she was smiling back at
him. “Asshole got charged with harassment and criminal mischief. He’s on
probation. Has to go to some anger management and drug and alcohol classes.
And
he has to pay me restitution for my bike.”

“Good.” She nodded with satisfaction. Paul needed to face
some
kind of consequences for his actions. He needed to know he couldn’t just
get
away
with it.

Slowly, Ben’s hands began to run over her body, up and down
her arms, onto her thighs pulling her closer to him. His caresses silently
changing the subject until Paul was the furthest thing from her mind. She loved
the constant need he seemed to have to touch her, the way his soothing hands on
her made everything else in the world fade away. Until it was just the two of
them left. The words he spoke started to confirm that maybe he felt the same
way and dangerous hope spread through her.

“There’s a void inside me, Emma. It’s been there for so long
I’ve just gotten used to it. When I’m with you, though, it goes away. And the
fact that you love me? In spite of all my shit?” He licked his lips and gave a
little laugh. “I’m so full to bursting knowing that, baby, I couldn’t let you
just leave.”

She knew the feeling. Her heart felt so swollen right now
and she was finding it a little hard to breathe. “What are you saying then,
Ben?” She kissed him softly, then whispered against his lips, “I need to hear
you spell it out.”

Strong fingers threaded through her hair and he pulled her
back to look into her eyes. “I’m saying that I love you. I’m saying that I can
be a fucking construction worker anywhere, build a new life anywhere just as
long as it’s far away from where I grew up. I want that life with you.” The way
he looked at her then, his amber eyes swimming and so full of love and
earnestness had tears prickling the backs of her eyes. “You’re home for me.”

That was it. She attacked his mouth like a woman possessed
and he gave as good as he got. She didn’t know how long they sat there, wrapped
up in each other but eventually their frantic kisses turned lazy and an important
fact hit Emma hard. They had all the time in the world.

“Adam said something to you, didn’t he?” No matter what Adam
might have said, she knew it wouldn’t have made a difference, but she wanted to
know. Couldn’t resist needling him.