SeducedByTheAntiHero (15 page)

The golden autumn sun had just started to set on the lake
when Emma decided to pack up and make her way back to the room. The lake wasn’t
far from the motel and she had been so amped up after Ben had dropped her off
that she had walked over rather than driven. That little bit of exertion and
the cool crisp air had done her a world of good. But once she had found her
bench and sat down to write, the pain and hurt over what happened with Ben had
turned into anger.

Turned out that had been a good thing. Her writing had never
been so vivid and full of life. She had been able to pour all of those
tumultuous emotions onto the page, use her story as an outlet. With it came a
kind of peace that she only got from writing. The jumbled mess of her thoughts
over her situation were pushed to the side and she concentrated solely on her
characters and
their
conflict. It was freeing in a way that she had
never truly appreciated before.

As she had gotten further and further into their world, she
had lost track of time. It had been midmorning when she had arrived at the lake
and when next she looked up, it was early evening.

Unfortunately, as she walked back to her room, the details
of her own life came flooding back into painful focus. The more she thought
about it, the more she realized how foolishly she had behaved that morning.

Essentially, she had been the one to ruin what they had. Things
had been going just fine until she had gotten swept away by wishful thinking
and opened her big mouth. It was just—the way he had been acting last night and
even this morning had felt so different from the other times they had been
together. He had been so tender and open with her. A man who just wanted some
hot sex and could get it from her without the added effort, wouldn’t act like
that, would he?”

Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair as she turned the
last corner toward her motel. What the hell did she really know about men,
anyway? It wasn’t like she had a whole lot of experience in that area.

The low rumbling of a male voice pulled her from her
thoughts as she crossed the parking lot to her room. By this time, it had
gotten dark and she struggled to see into the shadows cast by the street light
where the voice had come from. It sounded like someone was having a drunken
argument either on the phone or with himself. Emma didn’t want to stick around
long enough to find out.

Digging her keys out of her pocket, she held them in a white
knuckled grip as she quickened her pace.

“Hey.” She heard the slurred voice call out behind her. Ignoring
him, she kept walking. “Hey! Don’t walk away from me, bitch. I know you hear
me. Or maybe spending so much time with Ben fucking Serano makes you as much of
a dumbass as you are a slut.”

She knew she probably shouldn’t have turned around. She
should have just kept going until she got safely into her room and locked the
door behind her. Then maybe called the police. But she was just so sick and
tired of the people in this town talking about her and Ben that she couldn’t
help herself. She just reacted.

It wasn’t at all surprising to see Paul behind her leaning
up against the most ostentatiously tricked out, bright orange pickup truck she
had ever seen. If she couldn’t tell from his attitude, that truck told her all
she needed to know about how badly he was compensating for something.

“Jesus, are you
ever
sober?” she asked sliding her
keys through her fingers and making a tight fist.

“You know, there’s something I just don’t get.” He shoved
away from the truck to amble toward her.

“I’m guessing there are probably a lot of things that you
don’t get.” She kept her tone confident and nonchalant even as he advanced on
her, causing her to back up onto the sidewalk in front of the motel.

Paul continued speaking as though she hadn’t said a thing. “Why
do all you women flock to a worthless son of a bitch like Serano? He’s a punk
piece of shit and I just don’t see the appeal.”

“If I didn’t know you better, Paul, I’d say you were jealous.”

Of all the things she could have said, that apparently was
the completely wrong one. All at once, he rushed her, grabbing her by the
shoulders and shoving her back against the side of the building, knocking the
wind out of her.

“I could never be jealous of that
murderer
.” The
unadulterated rage on his face was frightening but not half so incapacitating
as what he was saying.

The horrified shock must have shown in her expression
because he let out a wheezing laugh, his foul, tequila-tainted breath fanning
over her face. “What? You didn’t know that your lover-boy was a killer, did
you, bitch?”

No, that wasn’t even within the realm of possibility. “What
the hell are you talking about?”

“That bastard murdered my brother!” he shouted, genuine
tears of anger and excruciating sadness falling down his cheeks. “Everybody
knows it’s true. But he fucking
got away with it
.”

Emma felt like the world was spinning. Everything in her
cried out that there was no way that what Paul was saying could be true. No way
Ben was capable of something like that. But one look at Paul’s face told her he
was undeniably sincere and heartbreakingly grief-stricken, drunk or no.

Before she could spin out of her head in disbelief, he was
talking again.

“So now it’s his turn to suffer, the way I’ve been suffering
all these years without my little brother. I’m gonna fuck up someone that
he
cares about.” He pulled her back from the wall only to slam her up against
its hard surface again. “I’m gonna take away something that
he
wants
more than anything else.”

It didn’t exactly take a rocket scientist to realize he was
talking about
her
. Though she was fairly certain that she wouldn’t be
able to reason with him in his current state of inebriation, it was on the tip
of her tongue to correct him about how much Ben supposedly cared about her. To
tell him that he would be wasting his effort with her. But as she opened her
mouth to speak, Paul was ripped away from her and flung backward into the
parking lot.

To her immense surprise, Adam stood between her and Paul,
blocking him when he tried to get at Emma again. Once again Adam shoved Paul
away, almost knocking him on his ass. “What the fuck’s wrong with you, Paul? What
were you doing?”

Finally, Paul seemed winded and braced himself once again
against his truck. “I’m gonna make your fucking brother pay for what he did,
Serano,” he choked out.

“Oh, Christ.” Adam ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Seriously?
You know you’re acting insane, right?” Though he sounded exasperated, it didn’t
escape her notice that Adam kept his body between her and Paul at all times.

“You know what he did to Tim.” The quiet, all-consuming
anger and pain vibrated out of Paul, making his whole body shake with it.

“No.” Adam shook his head. “I know what Tim did to himself. It
was a terrible tragedy, I know that, man. But you know what happened to Tim
wasn’t Ben’s fault. It still would have happened no matter if Ben had been
there or not.”

“That’s bullshit!” Paul roared. “Ben was supposed to look
after him! Tim wouldn’t have even been there in the first place if it wasn’t
for that bastard.”

“Look,” Adam said in a pacifying tone. “You’ve obviously had
one too many and you’re not thinking clearly. You’re entitled to your opinion
about what happened in the past, but you don’t want to take it out on Emma,
man. You don’t even know her.”

Paul looked past Adam to sneer at Emma as he gave her a once-over.
“I know she’s fucking Ben. I know that he cares more for her than any of the
other little skanks he taps. That’s enough for me.”

Adam’s expression grew dark as he leveled Paul with his
gaze. It was eerily reminiscent of the fierce expression she had seen on
Tyler’s face just as he obliterated his opponent in the ring the other night. From
what she had seen of these brothers so far, Emma was willing to bet that
Tyler’s ferocious skill as a fighter was a family trait. One not to be trifled
with.

“And you know I’m not gonna let you hurt her.” The quiet
rumble of Adam’s voice sent shivers down her spine and she prayed she was never
on the receiving end of such a challenge. Obviously, Paul came to the same
conclusions because he fished his keys out of his pocket and backed toward his
truck.

Unfortunately, despite his moment of clarity, he was still a
douche bag. “This doesn’t end here, Serano. One way or another, Ben’s gonna see
things my way.”

As she watched him climb into his truck and start the
engine, Emma had a moment to worry about whether he should be driving right now
at all. Douche bag or not.

When she voiced her concern, Adam just shook his head. “He’ll
be fine. He only lives about a mile down the road. Not too much traffic right
now anyway.” He walked up to stand beside her. “The more important question
right now is, are you okay?”

She let out a dry laugh. “Oh yeah, I’m just peachy.” When he
just looked at her she continued. “Seriously, I’m fine.” Then on impulse, she
went to her tiptoes and pulled him into a hug. “Thank you,” she whispered, the
shakiness of her voice belying her statement that she was okay.

Tentatively, he hugged her back before he set her back away
from him. “No problem. I’m just glad I happened by when I did.”

“Yeah, speaking of. How’d you manage to be Johnny on the
Spot?” There were about a million other questions she wanted to ask him right
about now. Questions like: who was Tim and what happened to him? How was Ben
involved? But somehow that was the only one that came out.

Was it the poor lighting, or did she actually see a blush
creep up onto his face? “I came to visit someone when I heard Paul yelling. Figured
I’d better come see what he was doing, knowing that you were staying here.”

Ah, she should have known. Clearing her throat to combat the
awkwardness, she said, “Well, thanks again. I really don’t know what I would
have done if you hadn’t shown up.”

Flipping to the right key on her key ring, she turned to
open her door when he spoke up to stop her. “I don’t think it’s a good idea
that you stay here tonight.”

Frowning, she turned to face him. “What? Why?”

“You heard the part about Paul only living a mile down the
road, right?” The look he gave her suggested she had absolutely no common sense
at all and she had to admit he had a point. Paul could come back.

She took a deep breath then blew it back out. “Right. Um,
Chloe’s working tonight but I guess I could go hang out at the bookstore until
she closes.”

It was Adam’s turn to sigh as he shook his head and dug his
phone out of his pocket. “No, don’t do that. Come with me, you can hang at my
place until Ben gets there.”

And
that
implied that she would be going home with
Ben. “No, that plan doesn’t work. I can’t stay with Ben.”

“Why?” Adam looked up from his phone, brow lowered over his
eyes.

Did she really have to tell him about this? Seemed she
didn’t have any other choice. “Because Ben and I got into a fight this morning
and I don’t think he wants to see me again. That’s why,” she said quickly, all
in one breath to get it out faster.

Adam actually laughed. “Well, good luck trying to get him to
let you stay somewhere else after he finds out what happened tonight.” She
opened her mouth to protest but he cut her off. “Don’t worry about whatever it
was you fought about this morning. I guarantee that it won’t matter in a few
minutes. Go pack a bag. I’ll wait for you out here.”

“There’s no point in arguing with you, is there? Or trying
to convince you not to call him?”

He flashed her a pearly white grin. “None.”

“Fine,” she said on a sigh. But before she turned to unlock
her door, she had to ask. “What happened to Paul’s brother?”

That grin disappeared as quickly as he’d given it. “I’ll let
Ben tell you about that when you see him,” he said lifting his phone to his
ear, presumably to call his brother to tattle on her.

“Where the hell is she?”

Emma had just been exiting the upstairs bathroom when she
heard the front door to Adam’s house slam followed by Ben’s gruff inquiry as to
her whereabouts. And he seemed distressed, which was a first. His usual
languidly calm and centered voice was anxious and sounded almost harassed.

Why was he so upset? It wasn’t as if she actually
meant
something to him, she thought derisively.

“Well, hello to you too, brother,” Adam drily replied. From
her vantage point at the top of the stairs, Emma couldn’t see them, but she
could just imagine Adam’s sarcastic facial expression as he crossed his arms
over his chest.

“Quit fucking around. Where is she?” Ben growled. The
familiar sound had her shivering impulsively. She could just save them both the
trouble by going downstairs and announcing her presence, but it kind of sounded
like Adam might be gearing up for a lecture. This might be the only opportunity
she got to hear what was actually going on, so she sat down on the top step and
listened.

The soft jingle of a dog collar and the little grunts of a
small pug caught her attention. The Captain, as Adam called him, nudged at her
arm until she lifted it so he could crawl into her lap. He gave a contented
snort as he settled down and she felt a smile split her lips.

That was, until she heard Adam speak. “Relax. She’s using
the bathroom upstairs. She’s fine.”

Or, you know, instead of a lecture he could just tell Ben
where she was and be done with it. Just as she was bracing herself for Ben’s
appearance in the hallway, Adam spoke again.

“Are you serious about her?” The question had a small gasp
escaping her lips and from the silence below stairs, it seemed it had caught
Ben off guard as well. Though she was pretty sure she already knew the answer,
she held her breath in anticipation of his response anyway.

But he replied with neither a positive nor a negative, just
a, “Why do you care?”

Adam sighed. “Because if you are, you aren’t going to be
able to brush off what happened to her tonight. You won’t be able to distract
her from the questions that you and I both know are coming. And if you
are
serious about her, she deserves to know the truth.”

Well, that didn’t sound ominous or anything. Just what was
this
truth
she deserved to know? And did she really
want
to know
it? What if he did turn out to be some sort of a murderer? She didn’t know if
she would be able to handle something like that. Then again, every instinct she
possessed told her that, in his grief, Paul had been exaggerating the truth. Gruff
and intimidating though he may be, Ben would never intentionally hurt someone. She
believed that to her marrow.

“I’ll tell her the truth,” he said softly. “I’ll tell her
whatever she wants to know.”

His words had her heart pounding in her chest. What did that
mean? He was serious about her after all?

As she was wrapping her brain around that little nugget of
knowledge, he turned the corner and appeared at the bottom of the stairs. He
looked all disheveled with his short dark hair in disarray as though he had
driven his fingers through it more than once. Not that the messy look didn’t
work for him. God,
anything
he did worked for him, she thought with an
inward groan, and that was part of her problem.

Their eyes connected and she could see the resignation in
his dark stare. Immediately, she knew he was aware that she had heard them. Rather
than seeming angry with her, his expression turned to one of immense relief.

“You okay, Sugar?” His low rumble vibrated up the stairs and
into her body, the sound somehow comforting. Or maybe it was the vulnerability
she saw on his face when he asked the question.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Her voice cracked so she cleared her
throat and sat up a little straighter, careful not to jostle The Captain.

“You sure about that?” There went that hand running through
his hair again, and was that her imagination or was it shaking just a little?

“I promise you, I’m okay.” She chewed on her bottom lip,
debating whether or not she should continue. There was no getting around the
inevitable, so she said, “But I think we need to talk.”

He nodded. “You’re right. We do.”

She was surprised when he started making his way up the
stairs. She didn’t think that they would have this conversation here, figuring
he would take her back to his place. But maybe it was better this way. She was
a lot less likely to get distracted if Adam was just down the stairs.

Stopping on the step below her, he picked the pug up from
her lap and set him down beside her. The Captain whined but stepped back when
she took Ben’s outstretched hand and let him pull her to her feet. As they
walked down the hall to what she was guessing was a spare bedroom, he kept her
hand firmly in his. It was almost as if he were afraid she would bolt given the
first opportunity.

Yeah right
. She was way too desperate to hear what he
had to say to take off right now.

He opened the door to the spare room and calmly shut it
behind them while she went to take a seat on the bed. He didn’t move from the
door, just leaned up against it, eyeing her warily and she again got the
impression that this was a tactic to keep her here.

“Where do you wanna start?”

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she crossed her legs and
hugged her middle. “How about you start at the beginning. Who was Tim?”

For a second he screwed his eyes tight and she knew this was
the last thing in the world he wanted to talk about. Normally, just that look
on his face would have her dropping it, but they needed to get this out. Knowing
him, he probably hadn’t spoken to anyone about it since it happened and keeping
something like this bottled up wasn’t healthy.

Opening his eyes, he slid his back down the door until his
ass hit the floor. He propped his elbows up on his knees.

“Tim was my best friend, back in my hoodlum days.” The
twinkle in his eyes when he looked at her had a small smile tugging at the
corner of her lips. But that twinkle was short lived, as was her smile, when he
continued. “Tim was also Paul’s little brother.” He sighed and ran that hand
through his hair again. “Look, I’ll save you all the gritty details but I think
you can guess by now that Tim and I used to get into a lot of trouble
together.”

“Yeah, I gathered that.”

“It was a Saturday night and the two of us decided that we
wanted to get wasted.” He shrugged. “Nothing really new there. That was a
pretty normal Saturday or hell, weekend, for us. This particular night, we
invited some girls over.” His gaze shot to her face then. To gauge her
reaction? “Again, not new.”

Ah, yes. Definitely to gauge her reaction and despite the
fact that this had happened however-long-ago before they had met, she felt an
irritating pang of jealousy. So he hadn’t slept with as many women as she might
think—his words—but he had still slept around. Shouldn’t be so surprising.
Wanting him to continue, she didn’t give her irrational feelings a visible
reaction. Instead, she just went with a nod and an “okay”.

“By this point the story does get new; we were so fucked up
I don’t think any of us could see straight. I took one of the girls up to my
room and left Tim downstairs with the other one. They were playing a video game
or something. I honestly don’t remember. Fuck, I don’t even remember the girls’
names. We’d just met them when we were out the night before and I was so gone
that they didn’t register.” His gaze shifted away from her then to focus on the
wall behind her. She didn’t mind, just let him do what he needed to do to get
it out.

“Apparently, while I was messing around upstairs, they ran
out of alcohol. And Tim—” His voice broke and he cleared his throat. “Stupid
fucking bastard,” he murmured shaking his head before he sniffed and wiped at
the side of his face. He took a deep breath and got the rest out all in a rush.
“Tim decided it would be a good idea to run down to the store and get some more
liquor. The girl he was with didn’t see a problem with that plan and went with
him. When I came back downstairs the fucker had taken my keys and my car was
gone.”

Emma gasped then held her breath, already knowing where this
story was going as dread and remorse formed a lump in her throat.

“He wrapped the car around a telephone pole, totaled it. Killed
himself and the girl.”

“Oh God, Ben. That’s horrible, I’m so sorry.” The tortured
look in his eyes made her want to get down on the floor with him and wrap her
arms around him. The way he tensed up at her words, however, kept her right
where she was.

“So that’s what happened to Tim.” He ran his hand down his
face then rested his head back against the door to look at her through the
slits of his eyes.

Uncertainty once again had her chewing on her bottom lip. “That’s
tragic, Ben. It really is and I’m so sorry for your loss.”

He gave a bitter laugh. “You know, I think that’s the first
time anyone’s said that to me. Outside of my brothers anyway.”

Confusion pulled her mouth into a frown. “That doesn’t even
make sense. He was your best friend.”

“Yeah well.” He looked down at his hands. “Not a lot of
sympathy when people blame you for your best friend’s death.”

Now
that
pissed her off. “I fail to see how any of
that was your fault.”

Maybe it was her words, but she was pretty sure it was the
sharp, confident tone with which she delivered them that had his eyes snapping
to hers.

“I did tell you what people thought of me
before
that
happened, right?”

“Yeah, so? It doesn’t change the fact that it wasn’t your
fault.”

“So Tim was a few years younger than me. Everybody thought I
was a bad influence on him.” He dropped his head. “Fuck, maybe I was,” he said
softly.

She understood that he felt guilty, she really did. More
than likely she would feel the same way. It’s a natural human emotion. But
facts were facts and this wasn’t his fault.

“Ben, you didn’t put the keys in his hand. Hell, you weren’t
even in the room when he made the decision to leave. You said yourself that
this was a typical night for you. You had no way of knowing what he would do.”

“I was still the one that got him so fucked up in the first
place, Emma. It was still my car that he took. So, nice as that sentiment is,
none of that matters. Not to me, or the people in this town. And especially not
to Paul.”

Emma felt her eyes narrow at that asshole’s name. “Okay. Let’s
talk about Paul for a minute. He’s such a concerned big brother now, but where
the hell was
he
when all this went down? If you were such a bad
influence on Tim, why didn’t Paul intervene? Did he even try?”

A deep frown line formed down the center of Ben’s forehead. “Not
really, actually. Paul kind of ignored Tim. Especially when he started getting
into trouble on a regular basis. I think he was embarrassed by him.”

The impulse to roll her eyes was so strong she couldn’t
repress it. “I’m sure he was such a model citizen even back then. I’ve met the
douche bag twice and both times he was thoroughly shit-faced. And let’s not
forget the last time I saw him he attacked me in a dark parking lot. Oh, what a
great guy.”

Ben’s eyes visibly darkened and his next words came out on a
low growl. “That cocksucker better hope I don’t run into him anytime soon. It’s
different when he comes at me like that. But you?” He shook his head, the
muscle in his jaw getting a workout. The menace in his eyes right then would
have been frightening if his words hadn’t triggered something very important.

“Wait.
When
he comes at you? He’s gone after you
before? I mean, aside from just verbally?”

He shot her a level look. “Baby, he blames me for the death
of his little brother.
Of course
he’s come after me before.”

The fact that retaliation for hurting a loved one was a
given to him was proof positive that Ben wasn’t nearly as worthless as he
thought he was. In fact, his worth as a human being was pretty damn immeasurable.
But the fact that he felt he
deserved
that retaliation for something he
didn’t do was intolerable.

Then, she didn’t know why, but yet another dot connected in
her brain. “That scar on your side. That’s not from falling out of a tree, is
it?”

There was a pregnant pause as he shifted his ass
uncomfortably against the door. “No, it’s not.” Three simple words. No
elaboration or explanation.

“What was it, then? Paul?” Suddenly she was desperate for an
answer and knew she wouldn’t drop it, even if he pressed her to.

“Yeah, it was Paul,” he said on a weary sigh. “It was a few
months after the accident. Fucker got me with a knife before I knew he was
there.”

“Jesus,” she breathed, the exclamation coming out before she
could stop herself. She had a moment of shock and mournfulness for all he had
been through, before those feelings slid right on down into fury and outrage on
his behalf.

“That. Is such. Bullshit.” Her tone was nothing if not
emphatic.

The corners of his lips twitched and something akin to
tender amusement lit his eyes. “Don’t worry, Sugar. I survived.”

She rolled her eyes again. “Well, let’s all give Paul a
fucking medal for being citizen of the year. It’s ridiculous the way these
people treat you, Ben. You don’t deserve it. Especially shit like
that
.”
She threw a pointed look to his covered abdomen.

Licking his lips, he shook his head. “But I do, Emma. I
really
do.” Pushing the fingers of both hands through his hair, he tilted his head
down to cradle his forehead in his palms.

Okay. That despondent tone in his voice was it. Abandoning
her perch on the edge of the bed, she got down on to her knees in front of him
and pulled his hands away from his face. Taking his face in
her
hands,
she forced his gaze to lock with hers. “You. Did not. Kill. Tim.”