Seduced in the Dark (6 page)

“I never said otherwise, Kitten. I’ve broken
no promises to you,” Caleb replied, his tone harsh and unyielding.
He had to slam the door shut on everything between them. It was the
only way to move forward and ensure her survival.
It’s your
survival, too.

Caleb expected her sobs at any moment. It
was their dance: she fought him, he hurt her, and she cried…he felt
like shit. Repeat. He was surprised to hear the steel in her voice
when she snapped at him.

“You promised me if I did as you asked, I
would always come out better for it. Do you still believe that,
Caleb? Do you really think selling me into sexual slavery, will
make me better?”

“It’s done,” he said.

“Fuck you,” she spat.

Anger surged and flared on the heels of his
guilt. He had promised her, but not in the way she proposed. “I
mean to teach you how to survive this. I have always intended to
arm you with what you’ll need. In that way,
yes
,” he hissed.
“I’ll keep my promise. But I’ve made other promises as well – to
someone who has earned my loyalty.”

“Am I supposed to earn your loyalty, Caleb?”
She sneered at him. “Why? What about
my
loyalty? What have
you done to earn
that
?” Caleb clenched his jaw. “You’re
worse than those bikers,” she spat, her body tense and coiling,
ready to attack. “At least they knew they were monsters. You’re
pathetic! You’re a monster who imagines he’s something else.”

Heat surged up Caleb’s spine and radiated
down toward his fingers. He held the steering wheel in a
white-knuckled grip. His first instinct was to hit her, to release
the wheel, and slap her across the face, but what would it prove?
Only that she was right, which of course, she was. Only a monster
could do the things he’d done. Only a monster would have the
instincts he had, and only a monster would feel indifferent to his
nature, or try to rationalize it.

“I know what I am,” he said, calmly. “I’ve
always known.”

He gave her a quick up and down look. She
slouched back in her seat, as though his gaze were venom.

“It’s
you,
who thinks otherwise,”
Caleb said. He watched Kitten flinch. His words apparently hurt her
feelings, but they were the truth. The truth stung them both. She
had seen him as something else, something she deemed better. For a
little while, he’d shared her imagination. He had never realized
how much it meant to him, until it was no longer true. No one had
ever seen him as someone capable of being more and he had just hurt
the one person who did.

It was just as well. He wanted to return to
the time before he had ever known she existed, a time when his life
was black and white, and the gray didn’t matter. He ached for the
simplicity of his life, free of moral quandaries, guilt, shame,
overbearing lust, and the worst sin of all, longing. He wanted to
go to bed at night and know exactly what to expect when he woke up.
He wanted Kitten out of his life and out of his head.

The space inside the vehicle was silent, but
loud and clear. Caleb was glad to stare out of the windshield as
stretches of road disappeared under them, taking them thousands of
kilometers from that shower, their confessions, and all the
possibilities of what might have been between them.

After a while, they finally ventured onto
paved city roads. Civilization surrounded them. Caleb didn’t miss
the way Kitten sat up straighter in her seat, her head turned to
view everything passing her window. She raised her uninjured arm
and pressed her palm to the window.

Caleb swallowed and ignored her, eyes
front.

The sun was shining brightly, burning off
what was left of the morning chill. Caleb reached for the air
conditioner and set it low. He would roll down the windows when
there weren’t quite so many people around to hear Kitten’s
impassioned pleas for help. He had to get rid of the vehicle as
well, just in case the doctor didn’t keep his word and the
Federales
were already looking for them. He had a few
hundred U.S. dollars on him, and a few hundred pesos, courtesy of
the doc. It wasn’t enough to bribe a cop, but plenty for your
average trouble maker. Regardless, the sooner they arrived in
Tuxtepec, the better. Caleb pulled into a roundabout and took the
exit leading toward Chihuahua. He’d have to stop and get everything
he needed near the city.

“I can’t change your mind, can I?” The soft
spoken words pulled Caleb back into the car. He didn’t want to do
this anymore. He didn’t want to talk. “This is all really
happening. Isn’t it? And you’re going to let it happen…aren’t
you?”

“Try and go to sleep, Kitten.” His voice was
detached, wooden. “We have a long way to go.”

She wouldn’t relent, though her manner was
casual and airy, as though she were only speaking aloud, not
expecting an answer, “I admit…at first I thought…” she shrugged. “I
thought you really
were
my ‘knight in shining armor’.
Stupid, I know.”

Her ironic sadness, as she repeated Caleb’s
words tried to make him feel guilt. Instead, he worked to ignore
her. He didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of badgering him
into an argument.

“I was so shocked when I saw you again.
Shocked to discover…I thought you were a monster then. You
terrified me. But now? Now, I don’t know how I feel about you,” she
whispered.

Caleb gripped the wheel tighter with one
hand and flipped on the stereo, flooding the vehicle with loud
Banda
music.

Kitten turned to face him, the once far-away
look gone from her face and replaced by narrowed eyes and a mouth
set into a stern line. She reached for the knob and switched the
radio off. “So that’s your answer?”

Caleb took a deep breath and tried to
control his anger, “You think you’re so fucking clever, don’t you?”
He gave a mirthless, condescending laugh. “Do you honestly believe
for one second I’m not aware of what you’re doing? You’re trying to
make me feel guilty, trying to make me believe you have feelings
for me.” She winced, her jaw clenching. “You know you’re trapped
and you’re trying to find a way out. Trying to seduce me with your
show of caring and sharing won’t work on me.” He scoffed when he
saw the way Kitten feigned surprise and hurt. “You can drop the
act. I’m not impressed. You’re attempts are laughably
transparent.”

He anticipated her rage, braced for it, but
he hadn’t given her enough credit. Instead of invective, Kitten
attacked him with cold and resolute reason.

“You’re right, Caleb. I
am
trying to
seduce you. I
am
trying to find a way out of this fucked up
mess you’ve gotten me into. What else can I do? What would you do
in my place?” There were no tears in her eyes, nor was there anger.
There was only truth, and the truth was always more powerful. And
painful, too.

Caleb knew exactly what he would do in her
place, because he’d done it. There were times when he had tried to
get men to help him, free him, and deliver him from Narweh’s
treachery. He’d listened to the men who bought his body swear they
loved him. He’d allowed himself to put stock into the endearments
they whispered in his ear. But when it was over, when they’d taken
all they could from him, they’d betrayed his trust to Narweh. He
remembered the way his heart had broken when Narweh had used his
own words to taunt him as he was beaten.

“I’m sorry I’m so bad at it. I’m sorry you
find my attempts
laughable
, but I don’t know how to do it
any better. You’re all I know. For what it’s worth, I’m not trying
to make you believe anything. I’ve never lied to you. When I asked
you to make love to me, it wasn’t a ploy, and it hurts like a bitch
to hear you think otherwise, because –” her voice finally broke,
tears bursting past her façade.

Caleb felt panic. He had no idea what to do.
Her words, her presence, and her pain, affected him. He hated it.
His memories, the ones he worked so hard to push deep into
forgotten recesses of his mind, banged on the door of his
consciousness. They connected with
Livvie
, they connected to
her suffering, and together, they threatened to undo him.

A shuddering breath and Kitten seemed in
better control of herself. She wiped at her eyes, took another
breath and retreated to her side of the vehicle, her eyes once
again focused on the world passing her by. Every now and again her
chin trembled and she would take another breath to will her tears
away.

She had more dignity than even she was aware
of and Caleb decided, he would never again say otherwise. He wished
he had never said it in the first place. His heart was racing,
banging harshly in his chest and creating a thumping in his temples
that made his head ache. His stomach was also affected, a strange
kind of tingling pain churning in his gut.

He had an impulse to offer Kitten comfort,
to tell her the truth: her attempts were anything but laughable.
However, he knew telling her would be putting himself at an
incredible disadvantage. Just acknowledging how much he wanted to
comfort her was disconcerting. Still, the thought of hurting her
any more than he already had, was too much – too much by far.

“Kitten, I –”

She leaned over and twisted the knob for the
radio and the annoying voice of the announcer cut Caleb short. She
avoided his eyes as she returned her focus to the window.

Caleb sighed in relief. He had no idea what
the hell he had been about to say. The important thing for him to
focus on was there would be no more talking for the moment. He
wished he could say the same for the next twenty-four hours they
would spend together on the road.

***

It had been an exhausting day. What should
have been a nine hour drive had turned into twelve because Caleb
had had to stop for Kitten every so often. With her bruised ribs
and collarbone, she needed to stretch frequently, so he stopped
along scouted roadways. When they reached the city of Zacatecas,
Caleb had breathed a weary sigh and decided he could finally stop
for the night and get some much needed sleep.

Kitten had spoken very little during the
drive, which proved to be a great relief to Caleb. He had traded
the doctor’s luxury sedan for a sturdy, but dented farming truck,
and some groceries. It would offer quite the profit for the farmer,
so he asked as few questions as possible, going so far as to
pointedly ignore Kitten and her bruises.

She slept most of the way. The drugs in her
system seemed to numb her pain, though it left her drowsy. Caleb
made sure to keep a bottle of water next to her and also, that she
drank from it whenever she was awake.

Zacatecas was a full-blown city, filled with
hundreds of thousands of people, many of them tourists. Caleb took
great care in finding a motel for them to spend the night. Kitten
had said she wouldn’t run from him again, but the look in her eyes,
whenever they passed American tourists with families, spoke
differently. She would run again, given half the chance. Not that
he could blame her. “I need to take a shower,” Caleb said into the
silence of the room. “You can either sit in the bathroom with me,
or I can tie you up. Option’s yours.”

Kitten stared at him hard. “Don’t trust me?”
she taunted.

“Not when you’re looking at me like that,
no.”

She sat stiffly on the edge of the bed, her
anger emanating off of her like a toxic fog intent on choking him.
“I told you I wouldn’t run. Go take your fucking shower and leave
me alone.”

Caleb closed his eyes and took a deep breath
to settle him. They were back to this. Well, he thought, this was
just as good a time as any to reestablish the rules between them.
When he opened his eyes, a warm tingle drifted down his spine and
he finally felt like himself again. His gaze fell on the girl and
he smiled when she flinched.

“Get up,” he said calmly, the threat in his
voice muted but still present. The girl looked at him for a moment
and swallowed harshly. It was obvious her anger had quickly turned
to fear.

“Caleb?” Her voice was small, meek.

“Get up. Now.”

Slowly, Kitten cast her eyes toward the
floor and stood on trembling legs. In fact, her entire body
trembled. Caleb, at last, felt no remorse, no pity for the girl in
front of him. She was his to do with as he pleased. The thought was
an aphrodisiac on its own.

“Strip,” was his command and the girl
flinched though his words had been softly spoken. A whimper escaped
her lips, but she didn’t hesitate to follow his command. Slowly,
she reached for the waistline of the flowing skirt Caleb had
selected for her to wear and pushed it down over her hips until it
pooled at her feet.

She ignored the panties and slid her
trembling fingers to the top button of her blouse, there were more
whimpers, but Caleb ignored them. He watched, painfully aroused by
the adrenaline coursing through him as she gingerly let each button
slip through its hole until she reached the bottom. The fabric
parted, exposing a tantalizing line of flesh between her naked
breasts. She looked up at him briefly, eyes pleading.

“Off with it.”

“Caleb…”

“That!” he growled with menace, “is not how
you address me. Do it again and I’ll not forgive you.”

Kitten began to weep, but still stood.
“Yes…. Please…don’t….”

“I gave you a choice. If you cannot make it,
then I will make choices for you. Understood?”

She sniffled, “Yes…Master.” The words seemed
painful for her to say, but Caleb cared nothing for her pain at the
moment. She had defied him for the last time. He watched
dispassionately as she slid the shirt from her shoulders and the
panties from her legs. She stood, shaking and sobbing, but finally
compliant.

“Kneel!” he barked for the sake of watching
her scramble to obey. He smiled as her knees hit the threadbare
carpet and her hands went to cup her breasts to hide them from
view. His heart raced and he nearly groaned at the touch of his
palm against his erection, trapped inside his pants.