Seduced (9 page)

“As you well know, my husband has now been gone just around eighteen months,” she began slowly. “Although my mother has insisted I exit my mourning and is encouraging me to seek out another husband, I don’t know that…” She hesitated. This was where she would have to be careful. “I don’t know that I’m ready to think about marriage again. Perhaps I never will be.”

“You loved Noah,” Mary said softly.

“Yes,” Letty said simply.

It was the truth. Oh, it hadn’t been the kind of love any of her cousins shared with their spouses. That all-consuming, passionate connection seemed very foreign to Letty. But she
had
loved Noah. She knew he had loved her too, in his own way.

“I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been to lose him,” Juliet said, shivering. “If I were to lose Gabriel—”

“I don’t think I would ever marry again if Evan were gone,” Josie whispered, her eyes welling with tears at just the thought.

“Nor Jude,” Audrey said.

Mary shivered. “I cannot even think of a time when Edward isn’t here for me.”

Claire held her gaze evenly, and there was understanding in her stare that the others didn’t have. Claire had experienced loss before, Claire had suffered grief and pain. She knew better what Letty had endured and what moving on looked like.

“
You
survived,” Claire said in a soft, even tone that held enormous power. “You are
not
in the grave with him.”

Letty jerked out a nod. “Oh, I know. And I suppose that is where my problem lies. I am not interested in marriage at this point, even if I did have a suitor, which I do not. That doesn’t mean I am not…lonely.”

She said that last sentence and the truth of it hit her so hard she almost lost her breath. She
was
lonely. Painfully lonely. And she had been for many years, far longer than the mourning period Society dictated. Her marriage had been lonely, her life before it had been lonely.

And now it was all coming to a head, thanks to one impish criminal and his careless kisses that made her see how stark and empty her life truly was.

“Of course you are lonely,” Josie breathed, sliding over next to Letty and wrapping an arm around her for a hug. “How selfish of us not to realize how keenly you feel that. What can we do to ease the pain? Invite you to more events?”

Mary nodded swiftly. “Or perhaps Edward and I could introduce you to more people?”

Audrey and Claire exchanged a quick look, and then Audrey said, “Josie, Mary, I think she means she is lonely, er…in the bedroom. Is that correct, Letty?”

Letty nodded as her thoughts strayed to nights when she and Noah had laid in the bed in her chamber and he’d just smoothed her hair so gently. It had been almost perfect.

“Well, yes,” she admitted with a blush. “Although what Josie and Mary implied is what I often feel, what Audrey says is true also. Someone suggested I take a lover…” She trailed off with a humorless laugh as she thought of what Jack had said to her after he kissed her senseless.

It’s a shame if that is true, Letitia. A woman like you should be conquered, pleasured, given to and taken from.

She had repeated those two sentences in her head so many times that she could all but hear them echoing in her mind, spoken in Jack’s deep, seductive voice.

She blinked to clear her mind and found that the five women were all looking at her again, this time in various levels of contemplation.

“You know, it isn’t the worst idea,” Mary said, surprising Letty by breaking the silence.

Letty’s mouth dropped open in shock as she pushed from the settee and backed away from the others. “You cannot be serious.”

“Mary is correct, though I never would have thought she’d have such scandal in her,” Audrey said with a laugh. “Brava, Mary!”

Mary waved off her support with a blush.

“You
are
a widow,” Juliet said. “Even
I
know the rules of Society are much more lax when it comes to your conduct, especially if you are discreet in your
arrangements
. And there are many very nice gentlemen who are not ready to wed or are widowers, who wouldn’t mind a dalliance. I’ve seen it many times as a healer.”

“People just tell you about things like that?” Letty said in shock.

Juliet smiled and her empathetic expression drew Letty in. “As their healer, they trust me. And I have never given them any reason to regret that trust.”

Josie stood and moved toward her. Letty waited for the voice of dissent, for Josie was certainly the most quiet and demure of the women. Only when Josie caught her hands, there was a light in her eyes Letty had never seen there before.

“You and I were on the wall together a long time,” her friend said. “I don’t know what the circumstances of your marriage were, I would never think to pry. But I will say that passion is a rare and precious thing, Letty. It can help with the healing of a great many pains. You shouldn’t dismiss the possibility out of hand.”

Letty pulled away and paced to the window. “You have all gone mad.”

None of them answered, which left Letty to ponder what they’d said. They had no idea the truth, no idea that she
couldn’t
pursue a
gentleman
with this wild plan. If a man in her circle found out the truth, he might not be able to stop himself from telling it. She refused to do that to herself, to Noah, to his family.

But what about a man outside of Society? A nagging voice inside of her whispered that question, then swiftly turned her mind back to Jack. A man like him had no influence in her world. Even if she couldn’t hide the truth from him, it was less likely he could later use it against her.

And to be honest, she wasn’t sure he’d even try. Jack traded in secrets, but tawdry ones like hers? Was he that kind of man?

“You are obviously considering it,” Audrey said with a half-smile. “What is holding you back?”

“Aside from the shock of such a suggestion, I suppose I’m not certain how one would go about even arranging for such a thing,” Letty admitted, trying to picture how she would approach Jack…or
any
man…with this wicked proposition.

Audrey seemed to ponder that question a moment before her face lit up. “I might have something that can help with that question. One moment.”

She scurried from the room with a grin on her face. Claire moved toward Letty. “I’m almost afraid of what she has in mind.”

Letty laughed weakly. “As am I.”

“There is nothing wrong with deciding to take your own happiness,” Claire said, smoothing a curl away from Letty’s face. “Life is far too short and unpredictable to do otherwise.”

Letty bent her head. “Yes, I have lived that truth. Noah’s illness came on so suddenly, none of us could truly prepare. I know he left behind a great many things undone, unsaid, unconfessed.”

“Then learn from his loss and don’t do the same,” Josie said softly. “I’m sure it’s what he’d want for you.”

Letty thought of Aaron. He’d said something similar, though perhaps for slightly different reasons. It was like the stars were aligning, all pointing toward one answer.

To take a lover. But not some gentleman—to take a lover like Jack.

Audrey returned to the parlor with her hands behind her back and a wicked smile on her face. “Jude gave this to me a few months ago and we have gotten a lot of fun out of it. But it truly gives some practical advice in these matters, including how to approach a gentleman who you’d like to take as a lover.”

She held out the item behind her back, and the room gave a collective gasp.

“Is that
The
Ladies Book of Pleasure
?” Claire squealed, snatching it from Audrey before Letty could take it.

“Yes,” Audrey said, glaring at her older sister pointedly. “For
Letty
.”

“Oh, I know,” Claire said, flipping open the plain leather-bound book. “I’ve just always wanted to see it.”

The others moved closer, including Letty, and she gasped. There, in full detail and color, was a picture of a man bending a woman over a chair…taking her. She turned her face in shock, trying to ignore the heat that seemed to spread through her whole body.

The others seemed more interested than surprised, though Josie and Mary did shift slightly and exchange an embarrassed glance.

“G-goodness, it is exactly as everyone has said all these years,” Josie stammered.

“Yes, it’s very naughty,” Audrey said with a laugh. “You will at least get a little titillation from the book, Letty. But as I said, it
does
have some good advice. Take it for a while and see if it will help you think up a plan of approach.”

Letty stared as Claire pushed the book at her. Take it?
Read
it? God, she wasn’t ready for that. Just the one picture made her heart drop into her stomach and her legs wobbly.

“Er, I—”

“Do it, Letty,” Claire said, forcing the tome into her hands at last.

Letty took it with reluctance and sighed as she crossed to her reticule. She slipped it inside, taunted by how she could still see the top of the book even when she pulled the strings to tighten it.

“I think we’ve tortured poor Letty enough,” Mary said. “Audrey, you said those roses you’ve been struggling with are finally trying to bloom. Why don’t we get some air and see them?”

Letty shot her friend a grateful look and watched as the others gathered themselves to go outside into the garden. It had been a very interesting day, indeed, and now she had a great deal to think about. Mostly if she was brave enough to approach a man to become her lover.

Hell, Jack.
That
was who she thought of. Only she had a few questions before she could dare contemplate the idea with any seriousness.

Claire was at the rear of the group of her cousins, and Letty moved forward to catch her arm and hold her back.

“Claire,” she said. “I did want to talk to you about one other matter, not related to this problem.”

Claire nodded. “Of course. What is it?”

“Well, you know that I met War’s brother, Mr. Blackwood, at your wedding and later sat with him at your gathering a few days ago.”

Claire chuckled. “
Mr. Blackwood
. Does Jack despise it when you call him that?”

“He keeps trying to correct me, yes,” Letty admitted, bending her head as she thought of how much more intimate their brief relationship had become despite her insistence on using formal address with the man.

“What about him?” Claire asked gently.

“I have had a hard time reading him, I admit,” she said, treading lightly. “Certainly he isn’t like the men I’ve met in Society.”

“No, War and his brother are entirely unique,” Claire said. “I think my husband got the better of that, but Jack is actually far more decent than he’d like the world to think.”

Letty’s brows lifted slightly at that tidbit. “Is he? That was what I wondered. After all, the rumors about who he really is, his criminal activities…well, one would be led to believe he isn’t a decent man. But then he speaks so eloquently and can be…surprising.”

Claire tilted her head. “This sounds like a far deeper line of questioning than I usually get regarding Jack.”

Panic swelled in Letty’s chest. Had she gone too far, revealed too much? She tried to sound nonchalant as she continued, “What do people normally ask?”

“Usually they just want to know if he’s truly
the
Captain Jack, notorious ruler of the underground.”

“Well, I ask further because…because…” Letty struggled for a good reason before she struck on the perfect one. “Because of Griffin. My younger brother has become rather obsessed with the man, I fear. He wants to follow in his footsteps into a life of crime. I’ve spoken to both of them about it, but I’m trying to determine Mr. Blackwood’s character to know if I have reason to be more concerned than I already am.”

“Ah,” Claire said slowly, still examining Letty’s face in a painfully direct way. Then she nodded. “If it is a character reference you desire, I can say that there is far more to Jack Blackwood than his reputation or his behavior may imply. He is loyal to a fault, he adores his brother despite a painful shared past and he is trustworthy.”

“Trustworthy?” Letty repeated. “How do you mean?”

“He will betray, of course—it is part of his life.” Claire’s tone became very serious. “But if you extract a promise from him to keep your secrets, he will take them to his grave.”

Letty found herself breathing a sigh of relief. One that was swiftly followed by abject terror. Was she really going to do this?

“Are you certain you are only asking after Jack to protect your brother?” Claire asked softly.

Letty shook her head. “Of course. Why else?”

“Well, you two seemed to be talking rather intently the night of our party. And later when he found out you’d left without saying goodbye, he seemed troubled. Or as troubled as that man allows the world to see.”

“I assure you, it is nothing more than Griffin’s well-being which worries me,” Letty said. Lied. Of course she worried about her younger brother’s path, but that wasn’t on her mind now. She was thinking of Jack’s kiss.

Of Jack’s statement about losing control when he was with her. At first she’d thought he was only teasing her with his flirtation, but now she couldn’t help but dream…
could
a man like that want her?

Would she be brave enough to find out?

The very idea went against everything she had ever done, said or believed about herself. But if she could muster the courage, not only would she get more of those drugging kisses, but Jack could very well help her solve her other problem. He could help her open the door to a future again, a marriage, even children.

She blinked away the emotions that flooded her and said, “You needn’t worry about Mr. Blackwood, Claire.”

Claire smirked. “Oh, trust me, I
don’t
worry about Jack. He can take care of himself. But tread carefully, Letty. Whatever you decide, whatever you do when it comes to taking a lover, don’t lose your head. Giving your heart is a powerful, beautiful thing, but when done only from one side, it can be devastating.”

Letty froze. Claire was talking about her taking a lover in the same breath as they spoke of Jack. “Claire, I—”