Secrets of the Fall (2 page)

After
making love to her tonight, I would be devastated if she didn’t end up picking
me, and being my girl. If she ends up going back to Nat or choosing that pretty
boy Astor over me, I really would go nuts.

I
squeezed my eyes shut in guilt and frustration. I could kick myself for feeling
the way I was feeling at this moment. Nat had been missing for two weeks now,
and tonight was the only time I was glad he wasn’t home.

Because
all I wanted…all I could think about was having Summer all to myself and doing
anything I could to make that happen.

Chapter
2

Drew

I
decided to drive Summer and me in my blue
Lexus up the California coastline from Malibu to San Francisco instead of
taking the corporate jet for our first board meeting at Donovan Dynamics. With
Dad gone, Nat missing, and Mother of questionable sound mind; I was the one Nat
and my father had put in charge of to represent the interests of the family for
the company. Nat had also asked Summer to help me out with the
responsibility…something I was definitely grateful for. Summer had a good head
on her shoulders despite the recent incidence in her bathtub. She was young,
but she’s already spent years helping Aunt Sookie run a school. What she lacked
in experience, she made up for with her loyalty to the Donovans and having our
best interests in mind.

I
glanced over at Summer, who was wearing a cotton and lace white summer dress,
that showed off her tanned skin, had a tapered waistline that tucked in her
small waist while pushing up her breasts. She wasn’t overly large, but her
mango-sized breasts looked like they could pop out at any moment, the way they
sat in that push up bra kind of style top. I wanted to stop driving and dip my
head into that glorious cleavage of hers and suck on each breast, her breasts
were so enticing to me.

Her
hair was swept off her face with a gemstone barrette at her crown, while the
rest of her long chestnut waves fell softly down her shoulders. A light dusting
of golden tan colored her skin, and the pink blush she wore high on her cheekbones
brought out her pretty cheeks. She was so beautiful, I just wanted to stare at
her all day.

It
was Monday, and just two days ago, I was over at her house, checking in on her
when I found her in the bathtub.  Just two days ago, we had made love for the
first time. I haven’t been able to get her taste and how she felt clenched
around me out of my head since. I wanted to spend as much time as I could
around her, but because of this trip, I had to go to football practice the next
day, practice all day, and then rush back to my apartment, pack, and get ready
for my trip back home to San Francisco. Meanwhile, Summer seemed much better so
she went to the Academy, taught a class, and did whatever she planned on
doing.  I didn’t ask.  I was just glad she was acting better. 

“So,
Drew,” Summer said, relaxing into the soft leather seat. “Why the drive instead
of taking the jet as always?” She looked down at her dress, her high-heeled
wedge sandals, and her small clutch purse. “Had I known we were going to be on
the road for, let’s see…five to six hours, I would have worn a t-shirt and
jeans. And sneakers!” She bent down and took off her sandals. “These shoes are
pretty, but they’re killing my feet.”

I
laughed. I should have known Summer would be practical like that. “We can stop
at a restaurant or motel and you can change,” I said, glancing over at her. “I
figure it would be nice to go for a drive. You know, clears the head, take in
some of that nice fresh air.”

“That’s
it?” Summer asked, taking off her other sandal and pulling her legs up to
nestle on the seat. “You enjoy driving?”

“Sometimes,”
I said. “I like it when I want to clear my head.” I thought about my long
distance drive from San Francisco to Malibu that one time I was so upset about
seeing Nat and Summer together. If it hadn’t been for the drive and me needing
to get to Malibu, I may have done something drastic and even tragic. I was the
one who felt like I was falling down to rock bottom back then.

But,
as I mentioned, since I did drive, by the time I reached Malibu, I had some
time to think and to calm down. I no longer felt so vulnerable and angry.
Instead I realized in clear details what I had to do. Step away from Nat and
Summer so we were just friends. To me, Summer’s heart was still with Nat, and I
just couldn’t compete so I didn’t, and I ended stepping away.

“So,”
Summer asked, her body turned towards me to give me all her attention. “What
could you possibly have in that head of yours, that requires spending 5 to 6
hours to clear?” She smiled her big sunny smile. Gosh I missed it. I haven’t
seen her smile like that since she heard the news about Nat.

I
thought about everything…school, my football scholarship, Mom, Dad, Rachel,
running Aunt Sookie’s Academy, Nat, Donovan Dynamics, and mostly of Summer. Was
she alright or was she pretending to be this cheerful?

“Shoot,”
she said, crossing her arms. “Tell me, Drew. I know we’ve both been so busy
with everything, and we see each other all the time, but when we get together,
we never have the chance to talk…just talk, like we used to during summers.”

“Summer,”
I said, taking a deep breath and exhaling it. I leaned in to whisper in her
ear. As I did, her hair brushed against my nose, and I paused for a second. She
smelled like a warm ocean breeze mixed with sweet vanilla. “Ummm,” I growled
instinctively. “You smell good enough to eat.” My voice was husky, and I had to
swallow. Without thinking, I took my right hand off the steering wheel and
instinctively cupped her chin, turning her head towards me. My mouth captured
her mouth hungrily, and I used my tongue to trace the inner outline of her
lips.

This
time, Summer groaned, while kissing me back harder.

I
was lost in her kiss. One night alone with her making love was not going to
satisfy me…instead, it just made me want her more.

“Bahhhhh!”

A
truck honked loudly at us, as I brought both hands back to the steering wheel
and turned, avoiding side-swiping that truck.

I
quickly re-adjusted the car, and kept driving. After taking a shaky breath, I
looked over at Summer. She had gone white.

“Summer?”
I asked. “Are you okay?  We’re fine now. The truck missed us. What’s the
matter, baby? It’s okay, okay.”

I
had to pull her into my arms, but I couldn’t while driving. I had to wrap my
arms around her, hold on tightly and make sure Summer felt safe again. Gosh
this woman brings out the most primal man in me. I didn’t waste any time
pulling off the road and heading onto a side street where there was one or two
restaurants.  Summer had to change out of her clothes, and I wanted something
to eat. Perfect, we could do all this at Carlos Cantina and Grill.

As
soon as I pulled into the parking lot of the somewhat large restaurant and
killed the engine, I grabbed Summer’s hands. “Hey, Summer,” I said gently.
“What’s the matter? You okay?”

Summer
nodded, but I can see her body trembling slightly.

“Fuck
it,” I unbuckled my seat belt, got out of the car, walked over to her side,
opened the door, and grabbed her. She was surprised at first, especially since
I was able to lift her up easily and carry her like a caveman into the Grill,
her legs dangling while I held her around her waist.

A
bunch of patrons looked surprised when I walked in, holding this gorgeous woman
in my arms. I think Summer was too stunned to even talk.

“Need
a booth?” the hostess asked.

I
nodded.

She
led us to a spacious one hidden in the dark corner of the restaurant. “Your
server will be right with you,” she said.

“Thank
you,” I muttered, still focused on Summer. The tension between her, especially
with me holding her against my body like this, with her boobs practically
falling out because of the tilt forward, was so thick, I could cut it with a
steak knife. My jeans were straining with the added tightness of my extremely
aroused member I called Little Drew.

I
laid Summer gently down on the padded seat of the booth, slid in and kissed her
gently on the mouth before moving down to her neck and collar bone. “Can you
tell me what just happened?” I asked between kisses.

Summer
didn’t respond back, while I continued to kiss her, caress her with my tongue,
and move my hand up and down her thigh.

“Could
you feel me, Summer?” I asked. “Could you let me know how you’re doing, even if
you can’t talk?”

Summer
barely nodded, but I can see her body responding to my touch and kisses.
Whatever it takes to snap her out of this, I’ll do.

After
some more heated kisses, I reached under the table to travel underneath her skirt
to touch her intimately. When you’re with the woman you love, and you think
she’s the most beautiful person in the world, it’s natural for you to want to
touch her every chance you get. “You know what I want to do with you, don’t
you?” I asked. “Just say the word, and I can find us a place.” Was she missing
Nat? Was she missing Aunt Sookie? I wished I could get through to her. I wished
she would talk to me. For the first time in my life, instead of wanting to fuck
Summer hard in every way I can imagine, I just wanted her to talk to me. Of
course, if she wanted me to fuck her hard, I’d do that, too.

“I
want…” Summer began.

My
ears perked up like I was some kind of dog in heat. Man, Summer had me whipped.
But boy, did I want it. It would be a privilege for me to be whipped and bound
by her. Not that I think she would be into that, but if she wanted to try it, I
would try anything with her. I’d do anything with her, for her. I’d even wait
for her.

She
closed her eyes for a second and opened them wide, the gold specks in them
shining bright into mine. I could get lost in those eyes. “I want…to move on. I
want some closure. Oh God, when the truck came at us, I thought we were going
to die. Then I saw Nat’s face flash by, and I knew I have to find out what
happened to him no matter what. I need to know or I will have the deepest
regret…”

I
took her hands in mine and squeezed them. “Done. We will look into this and try
our darn hardest to find Nat, when we get to San Fran. It’s one of the reasons
why we’re heading there in the first place.”

“Good,”
Summer said with a smile. “I just have this deep sense that Nat is still alive.”

With
the windy road along the cliffs and the view of the blue ocean below, the drive
was known to be pretty romantic, although Little Drew as still there, and I was
having the hardest time concentrating on the road.
 

Chapter
3

Summer

W
e arrived at Donovan Dynamics hours later and
parked in the parking lot, resting for a bit before we had to get out of the
car to meet the team. Drew drove like a madman, as eager as I was to get into town,
and I was sure he needed a breather before having to face the security team’s
news about Nat and Mr. Donovan.

After
I told Drew about my belief that Nat was still alive, it sank deep into both of
our brains that time was of essence to find him, if he was still alive. There
wasn’t time to waste, and if we wanted to bring him home safe and sound, we
have to act fast.

Drew
surprised me, too. I thought he would fully take advantage of Nat not being
here, but he didn’t. He respectfully followed what I wanted. He didn’t push, he
didn’t force the issue. He made me feel as though I was in charge. It was my
decision to take the initiative for whatever happened between us.

What
happened between us?

My
skin heated up when I think about it, and my stomach did flip flops. Then I thought
about his large hands touching me at my most private center, his hot mouth
kissing every part of me. I could not stay dry and unaffected when it came to
Drew. He was Lust personified. Every woman and non-straight man I know would
want to experience what it was like to be with Drew. My entire body still
shivered from the memory of reaching an orgasm, no a Drewgasm, from him. I
swear, the man probably studied enough sex tapes to know where to hit the spot
exactly, how to bring women to multiple orgasms, and how to give women the best
mind-blowing tonguing in life.

My
body and mind (because I love him so much too) was confused with everything
that happened between us. We made love. Wild, passionate, unbridled love that came
from years of wanting, of desiring a person you couldn’t have. We made love
like our life depended on it, and despite me telling him it was only casual
(since that was what Drew was into, not some kind of commitment), my entire
mind, body, and soul was into it. As much as I missed Nat, loved Nat, and
wanted him back with me; I could not deny that I wanted Drew with a passion
that scared me to death.

From
the looks of it, from Drew not being able to stop touching me, brushing up
against me, softly touching my shoulders, patting my knee, or even little
almost-there warm whispers into my ear; Drew felt the same way.

But
I loved Nat, and I couldn’t commit to Drew fully if I knew Nat was here. If he
was here, I’d finally confront my confused feelings and decide once and for all
how to deal with loving both of the Donovan brothers. It was so hard. I’ve
known them for so long, and I know they are both a major part of me. Two parts
of one confused but well-loved coin. Being sandwiched between two hot brothers
like the Donovans was an impossible situation, but one that I wouldn’t trade my
life for. But my mind…it was affecting me with guilt, doubts, jealousy, and
insecurity. I wasn’t the same Summer Jones who had no worries or cares about
boys when Aunt Sookie was alive. I was now this confused, emotional, and
on-the-brink of a meltdown girl. If Drew hadn’t found me in my bathtub sobbing
as I re-read Nat’s letter to me, ready to end it to escape my pain, I wouldn’t
be here today, sitting next to Drew, the hottest man on earth, waiting for him
to announce that we were here…at Donovan Dynamics where hopefully we could get
some answers on Nat and maybe some closure so I could move on, carry on, as
painful as it was…with life and everyone I knew in it.  Including Drew.

We
both got out the car and stood, stretching from the long drive. Then Drew came
over to my side and leaned against the car right next to me. “You sure you
don’t want to stop by my place?” he asked, turning his direct blue eyes to me.
He had been driving non-stop for four hours, and I could see the strain in
them. “We can rest up a bit, eat, get unpacked, change…”

“Is
it far from here?” I asked. The last time I visited Donovan Dynamics, it was
with Nat, to meet his team to handle the stalker who had been harassing me. I
wasn’t paying attention to the distance it was between The Donovan’s Nob Hill
mansion to Donovan Dynamics.

“Well…”
Drew said. “It is a bit of a drive. Not exactly close.”

“I’d
like to go there to see your mother, check up on her in person, as Nat asked us
to, but maybe later?”

“Sure,”
Drew said, more perceptive than usual. “I know how weird it is right now with
you coming over with me, and us seeing Nat’s room, my Dad’s room and all.” Drew
raised his hand to his temples. I could see the frustration he had then, as
well as all the burden he suddenly inherited with his family. It was a lot for
a carefree guy like Drew to take in, and I felt my heart reach out to him.

“Hey
Drew, it’s okay,” I said. “Whatever works is fine with me. If you want to go
there first or go to Donovan Dynamics or even just go to a café to relax, I’m
fine.” I touched his shoulders, and it was as if Drew was brought back into the
moment. He smiled a sweet genuinely happy smile with his beautiful blue eyes
crinkling.

“If
it’s alright with you,” he said. “I want to spend more time just being with
you…no one else.”

If
my heart was made of butter, it melted then and ran to my knees where I felt
the earth shake. Drew, who blew hot and cold, who was never downright sweet on
purpose, but cocky and so sure of himself; made my heart melt into a puddle of
goo. I don’t know if it was because of Nat not being here or because Drew and I
became so intimate, but I suddenly had the urge to pull him to me, tippy toe
up, and kiss the living daylights out of him.

“Is
that what you want?” I smiled, lowering my eyes so he couldn’t see how much I
wanted it too.

Drew
pulled me to him so I was looking up into his chiseled face. His blue eyes bore
through me, piercing me in place as though I was hooked onto him by an
invisible line. I could drown in those sea-blue eyes. If his eyes drifted off
of me, breaking that intense bond we have, I would go crashing down into an
ocean of muddled emotions and pattering hearts.

I’ve
loved Drew before, was deadly attracted to him physically and emotionally, but
now there was something else, and it scared me. It made me suddenly
self-conscious around him.

“You
know what I want, Summer,” Drew said huskily. “I don’t think I’ll ever get over
this wanting of you.” His eyes skimmed my face, and he cupped my chin with one
hand while his thumb played with my lower lip. Gosh, that was sensual…him
touching my lip like that and looking at me with such hunger.

“So…”
I found my voice again, shaking my head so I could think straight. “Wha…”

Drew
had entwined his fingers through mine as he pushed me up against the car door.
His hips pressed into mine, and I could feel his wanting, feel his heart
beating furiously against mine, and taste his lips, slowly, tantalizingly sweet
and thorough devouring mine. I moaned a deep throaty moan that got swallowed up
by his mouth, but not before Drew gave a low groan.

“I
take it,” I broke off from between his kisses, “you want to go somewhere else
before we go in?”

“Hmm…”
Drew muttered, licking the skin behind my ear, his tongue swirling in circles,
causing me to shudder.

I
wanted to hop onto Drew and straddle my legs around his waist, while pushing
him close to my breasts. But then I realized, we were out there in the parking
lot, in front of the building. No doubt if anyone looking out the window took a
look outside, they would be seeing something close to PG-17 or even R going
on.  I pulled back. “Drew, we have to go. We can’t be doing this right here in
front of your family’s company building. What must everyone think? They won’t take
us seriously now.”

I
was mortified.

But
Drew just slowly pulled away and flashed me his signature cocky grin. “Oh, I
forgot,” he said charmingly. “You see, Summer, when it comes to you, I can’t
even think straight.” He grabbed my hand and reached into the car for my purse,
handed it to me, then started leading the way into the steel and glass building
taking up the entire block.

“Aren’t
we going to go somewhere first, freshen up, change?” I asked while walking with
him.

“Nope,”
Drew said as we walked into the impressive lobby with a large waterfall marble
sculpture in the center, and headed into an elevator. “I’m as refreshed as I
can be…thanks to you,” he smirked. When the elevator door closed, he stopped
smiling, and his face scrunched up in frustration. “I don’t think I can take
any more of it…being alone with you without wanting to go further. This…,” he said,
straightening his white polo shirt and his jeans and indicating the building,
“is the distraction I need.  Because unless you’re willing to go further with
me, Summer, I’m having a tough time holding back.”

Hi
eyes burned into mine, and I knew he was dead serious.

“How
many girls have you had sex with since you told me how you feel about me last
summer?” I had to know. Was it just pure sex for him or a lot more? Did we have
anything more than this lust we both feel for each other? I knew I lusted after
him…my body always respond to him no matter what I was feeling or what my
situation, but did we have more than that?  Like what I have with Nat?

Drew
looked uncomfortable as he shifted his feet. “You know Summer how we weren’t
together…how I feel about sex…it doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“Oh?”
I couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed. So having sex with me didn’t
mean anything to him?

Drew
didn’t answer, but ran his fingers through his hair. I took his silence to mean
that he had slept with a few girls since he told me he loved me last summer. My
heart dropped. I felt as though a rug had been pulled out from under me, but
then again…what right did I have to be jealous?  I wasn’t with him. I still
wasn’t with him.

“That’s
the thing, Drew,” I said shakily, trying to control my emotions. “With Nat, I
never had any doubts where I stood with him…once he told me how he felt about
me…I felt secure in knowing he meant it.”

“Summer,”
Drew said urgently. “It’s not that I didn’t mean it.  It’s not that I have or
haven’t slept with anyone since letting you know how I feel about you.  It’s
just…” He threw up his hands and faced me…his face filled with such anguish,
love, hurt, and pain. “You’re still Nat’s girl…in your heart and in person. I
could try everything to change that, but deep down, we both know you will
always love him.” He moved in close to me where his lips almost met mine. “As
much as I love Nat, Summer, I want closure, too. For your sake, as well as
mine. Because I can’t go on loving and wanting you like this, while you love
him, too.”

I
bit my lips and moved a step away from him. Being this physically close to him was
clouding my judgment. I knew if I was to make a choice at this moment, I would
jump him, and worry about consequences later. If I gave into my feelings and my
passion, I would be all over him. I would let him have me through and through. I
wanted Drew to ravish me, to use me, to take me. I wanted him to play dirty
with me, to bring out the wild side in me. I wanted him to bring me to the
edge, to stretch me until I couldn’t give any further. I knew there was so much
within him, so much that he felt but had to restrain that if we were to
completely let go and lose ourselves in each other, we would be utterly and
deeply gone. There would not be a Drew or a Summer, but just one entity. That
kind of passion and love was dangerous.

I
wasn’t sure if I wanted to take that leap. I wanted a safety net…and that net
had always been Nat. Love with him was safer and expected. I wanted to cry. Why
did Nat have to go missing? I loved him more than I’ve ever loved a man, but
now with Drew always around me, having been my hero so many times…I can’t help
having strong intense feelings for him, too.

*****

The
door of the elevator opened just in time for me to walk out and seek a far
enough distance from Drew. He was temptation…especially one I could not fall
for in the midst of the security team we were supposed to be working closely
with to help get Nat and Mr. Donovan safely back.

Drew
looked a little hurt as he noticed me stepping away from him, creating a
distance between us. He didn’t have time to say anything though as Timothy
Childs, one of the executives I met last time came up to us and shook our
hands. Tim, a man in his early 40s with dark wavy hair and grey eyes, talked to
Drew for a bit before he turned to me. “Summer,” he said. “How’s everything?
I’m glad you and Drew took down Sloane, but anything else came up?”

I
shook my head.  I haven’t been looking nor have I been on the computer much.
Since Nat’s news, I was fortunate enough for Astor and sometimes a few other
actors Astor rung up to help teach and run the academy. “I tried to avoid
looking. I’ve been too much of a wreck these past couple of weeks. So I
couldn’t really tell you if anything came up,” I answered truthfully.

“That’s
perfectly fine,” Tim said. “In fact, we don’t want you to look at any of that.
Before Nat left, he had us set up a monitoring system and also a team who
manually went in and address any of that, including taking legal action when we
have to…all without you needing to get involved.”

My
mouth flew open in astonishment. “Wow, I never even knew.”

“That’s
what we do,” Tim said. “Especially since Nat was so behind it, you’re one of
our priorities.”

“I
wouldn’t be surprise,” Drew said walking up to me and putting his arm around my
shoulders to lead me over to a group of people, with Tim following. “Summer,”
Drew said, friendly and confidently, “I want you to meet the team who is
working on international assignments. Top secret highly-classified stuff.”