Secrets of the Fall (10 page)

Epilogue

Summer

T
he letter I held in my hands was bent and
torn, patched up a few times with tape, and looked as though it went through
some rough times. If only it could talk, I bet there would be a good story with
how it got to me. If it could talk, it would be able to answer all the
questions that I had that came up as soon as I saw who had sent it.

Nat. 

When?
How? Why did it take so long to get to me?

Those
were the first questions that came up. 

Then
came many more…

Nat’s Letter to Summer

My
Perfect Summer,

I
hope you will and can forgive me.

I
never meant to hurt you, but sometimes we do things because we thought it was
the best or only way out.

            I
don’t know where to begin. But if you are holding this letter in your hands,
then I know you already have a sense of what this is about. 

            Again,
I am writing you a letter not because I am old-fashioned, but because this
time, it was necessary. It was the only way I can get word out to you that I am
okay. That I am alive.

            I
can’t have you suffering over grief for me, thinking I was dead. I am in the
sense I could not be with you in more ways than one.  

            I
will always love you, Summer. You are the world to me, but circumstances have
changed. I don’t know if I will ever be the same Nat as you loved. If I could
return to be the Nat that you could be with. Sometimes in the line of duty, you
are forced to do things that you would not be proud of. There were a few things
I had to do in order to get the job done. But I did it, and because I did, my
father will be on his way back home.

Will
I come home soon? It depends. I don’t know when or if so that’s why I’m writing
you this letter.

Please
go on living life to the fullest as you’ve always have. Go on and be as happy
as you can be, and don’t put your life on hold for me to be happy. I know how
you feel about Drew, and I know how Drew feels about you. With me no longer
there for you, please turn to Drew for support. He knows why I’m doing this,
and he knows how to comfort you best, as well as how to protect you.

Life
is too short to wait for love. I am so grateful for the chance we had together.
I take those memories with me everywhere I go, but it is now time for me to let
you go, and for you to let me go. I love you with all my heart so I am letting
you go to fulfill your destiny, as I am doing so now.

Love Your Nat
in Shining Armor for Always

*****

As
I re-read the letter over and over again, I felt somewhat of an elation from
reading this battered and torn letter. Relief that Nat was indeed alive, but
sad and angry that he would not be returning to me, that he or whoever it was
behind his disappearance had allowed me to experience such devastating grief
over him.

            It
had been a week since Rachel told me the news about Nat’s death, and I cried my
heart and soul out for him.

            But
today, looking at this letter, I couldn’t cry any longer. I was cried out. Now it
was replaced with fury.

            I
called Drew and asked him to meet me at the Pad as soon as he could. Since Nat’s
death, he practically lived there after he drove back down to Malibu. He stayed
with Rachel and I at the Pad every day, and when Rachel was out teaching a
class or going to auditions now that Astor had found her an agent, Drew would
sneak up to me to kiss me and make love to me. We would sleep together every
night, and wake up hot for each other again.

            Knowing
that Nat was dead, Drew told me, gave me closure. I was allowed to move on, to
date other guys, to be with Drew in all ways.

            I
let Drew comfort me, to make love to me, to have me all over him, to give
myself freely to him because of this closure. All because Nat was gone.

            Now
I knew Nat was alive. He gave me his blessings for me to be with Drew, but he
was alive. And the worse part of it, Drew knew it. He knew and let me suffer
through the grief, and even used it to cement our relationship together.

            I
was furious.

            I
felt like a fool, played by Drew and Nat.

            When
Drew walked through the door of the Pad a half hour after I texted him to meet,
he had a smile on his face, a big happy dopey smile that only a man happy in
love could have. He also had a bouquet of gigantic red roses which he presented
to me.

            “Summer,”
he said, grabbing me around the waist, lifting me in the air, and swinging me. “I
love you so much, Summer, I want you to come out to dinner with me. A special
restaurant by the beach, candle-lit dinner, music…”

He brought out
a box that had a very familiar color – Tiffany blue.

            I
immediately thought of Astor when I saw the Tiffany box.

            “This
is for you, Sum…I noticed you love these type of things.”

            “No
Drew, you don’t have to,” I said, touched by his sweetness, but still furious
with his deception.

            Drew
opened the box and took out the jewelry inside. “I’m not Astor or Nat,” Drew
said. “This piece of jewelry was custom-made and different than the other ones
you have.”

            He
showed me a beautiful diamond tennis bracelet with little gold loops for
diamond charms. There was a starfish, a princess crown, a pirate, a theatrical
mask, a jet, and pancakes all in diamond gems. It was beautiful so beautiful I
was distracted from what I wanted to say to him.

            “It’s
beautiful,” I said. “Thank you.”

            “Not
as beautiful as you, Summer. You make me so happy and so complete, I’ve never
been so happy before.”

            My
heart sank. I loved Drew so much, and I enjoyed being with him, and wanted to
still, but knowing what I did about Nat, I had to confront him for lying to me.

            “Drew,”
I said. “I received something strange but very precious and important in the
mail today.”

            I
held up the envelope and then showed him the letter. His guilt-ridden face and
loss of words was all I needed to know he knew about Nat being alive. But why?

            “I’m
sorry Summer,” Drew said. “So very sorry that you had to find out this way. You
must really hate me right now.”

            I
couldn’t even answer him. How dare he let me believe Nat was dead when he knew
all along he wasn’t. How dare he make me cry myself to sleep every night for
weeks, knowing Nat was alive. He watched me at my most vulnerable, at my most
devastated, yet he knew Nat was alive. Yet he took advantage of the situation.

            I
was furious beyond words. Finally, I said through clenched teeth, “Drew, get
the hell out. I never want to see you again, and your lying face.”

            With
that, I shoved the bracelet back to him, pushed him out the door, and slammed
it shut. Then I felt my world collapse on me…but this time, there was no one
around me to pick me up off the ground …only myself. Life was going to become much
simpler.

Summer,
Drew, Nat, Rachel, and Astor’s story continues in

Book
4 of the Loving Summer Series

Lasting Summer (Loving Summer
Series #3)

Release Date to Be Determined

Sign Up for the New Releases
Newsletter to find out when:

Kailingowbooks(at)aol(dot)com

The Truth Behind the Donovan Brothers Series and
Cyber-bullying

When I first became an
author and began publishing books in the YA genre, I faced my first incidence
of cyber-bullying. 

An anonymous blogger (whom
it was revealed was someone working in the publishing industry, did not like
independently-published authors and was also working for an author as their
agent who saw me as a rival) began posting lies, accusations, and threats to
certain authors and bloggers who were popular and doing well at the time. I was
amongst that group.

As it went along, the posts
and attacks became more and more bizarre and far-fetched.

Cyber-bullying behavior is
psychopathic behavior. When a person is relentless in attacking someone online
or even in person for any reason which they can talk themselves into
justifying, it becomes psychopathic and dangerously violent.

Cyber-bullying is slowly
being recognized as criminal. By helping concerned citizens and organizations
set up measures on their site, at their schools, and internet presence where it
discourage cyber-bullying behavior rather than encourage it, I am proud to take
part in bringing that awareness.

Cyber-bullying may seem
harmless or is protected under the wide umbrella of free speech, but it can
kill. People have died from it.

I am very blessed that I
have the support of many incredible people and organizations who have stood by
me.

Credible organizations with
stellar reputations such as CBS TV News, Amazon.com, IMDB.com, the O.C.
Register, The World Journal, Huffington Post, and top 15 National radio shows
have written about and featured me…organizations that are unbiased in their
reporting.

Most of all, I have the
support of many loyal readers like you.

I feel blessed to be able
to share Summer, Drew, Nat, Rachel, and Astor’s stories with you, and am so
thrilled and still so touched that you love these characters as much as I do. 

We are getting close to the
end of this series, and I want to hear from you to help me determine whether
you would like to see more and who. 

If you would like to have
more books in the Loving Summer Series or a spin-off, let me know by sending me
an email.

[email protected]

THANK YOU!!!

Books Mentioned in
Loving Summer

The FADE Series

Book 1:  FADE

A Thriller
from Bestselling Author Kailin Gow

What if you found out you never existed?

 
My name is Celestra Caine. I am seventeen years old, which makes me a senior at
Richmond High. I never thought this would happen to me, but it has... I'm one
of those people you see every day, go to school with, remember seeing at the
supermarket or the mall, and then one day you don't hear about them any longer.
They're gone, and eventually, you forget them.

Book 2:  Falling

What is Celestra Caine? Who is
she and did she ever existed? The Faders and the Others clash at the
Underground, sending everything into a tailspin. Celestra is pulled into more
intrigue, more danger, and more romance, as she discovers who she is and why
everyone wants to get her.

Book 3:  Forgotten

A love that can never
be forgotten…

The truth about Celestra Caine comes back in the most shocking way. Everyone
knew Celestra Caine was dangerous, but they didn’t know she was THAT dangerous…
As Celestra’s memories begin returning to her after being Faded, and her
identity is revealed, she learns the fate of the world really is in her hands,
and that she, the mysterious and sexy fader Jack, and her handsome ex-boyfriend
Gray are more connected to each other than she ever imagined.

In this dystopian YA thriller, where nothing is what it seems, sometimes love
can be strong enough to withstand time and space and never be forgotten.

Book 4:  Fever

Who had survived the Apocalypse?

 
In Fever, the fourth book in Kailin Gow's FADE dystopian thriller series,
Celes' memories return with a vengeance.

 
Jack's memories are aligned with hers, and together they embark on fulfilling
the mission they had set themselves to accomplished in their past.

Visit Kailin Gow’s Amazon
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