Secrets of a Side Bitch 2 (17 page)

Chance and I were at the White Palace having breakfast. It was two in the morning. I had just left Sunset, along with Chance who’d spent his evening kicking it there. Chance was at Sunset so much that the bouncers and bartenders knew him well, so being there was like hanging with friends at this point, not just going to see some ass and titties.

Things had gotten better between
me and Chance since my outburst a few days ago when he couldn’t keep an erection. I guess he peeped how he was acting and redirected his anger. He was back to his normal, attentive, and caring self.

Things were finally getting back to normal.

So I thought and so I was feeling, until Chance dropped a bomb on me.

Sitting across from me playing in his
omelet, he told me, “I need to leave town for a minute.”

“Excuse me?”

He hadn’t said that he was taking a trip or making a run for Omari. This sounded permanent, so I instantly got an attitude.

“I said that I need to leave…”

“I heard you! Why?”

He ran his hand over his head and continued to play in his food
without answering me.

“Chance.”

I couldn
’t believe that he was acting like this. I figured that whatever it was that had been bothering him, whatever it was that was making him run, didn’t have anything to do with me. We weren’t in love, but I hoped that the time we spent together would at least deserve some sensitivity and respect.

“Chance, answer me.”

“I can’t.” He finally looked me in my eyes. I noticed how weary and tired they were. He was back to being the sad and lonely boy that I met at the strip club a few months ago.

“You can
’t?” But I didn’t care how weary or tired he was. I had given him what I hadn’t been willing to give any man in years; me. He convinced me to put my wall down, to let him in, to trust him, and now he was too much of a pussy to handle whatever business he needed to, rather than walking away and just fucking leaving me here to wallow in grief.

“When are you leaving?”

“My flight leaves in a couple of hours.”

My eyes fell out of my sockets. “
A couple of hours?! How long have you known that you were leaving?”

“Not that long. I just got the ticket yesterday.”
He noticed my tears and sighed. “Are you crying?”

“Hell yes, I
’m crying. You’ve been laying up in my crib and fucking me, but didn’t even have the decency to tell me that you were leaving.”

“We
’re not even in a relationship, Gia.”

“And
?!”

“I didn
’t mean it like that. I meant, I didn’t think you would care this much. I didn’t think it would hurt you.”

I was livid. Literally, my heart was beating so fast with anger and shock that I was becoming short of breath. “You didn
’t think it would hurt me? Are you serious?”

“Then come with me, Gia.”

I looked at him like he was crazy. “I can’t come with you! I can’t just up and leave. Like you just said, we aren’t even in a relationship.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“Fuck you,” left my lips before I knew it.

He wasn
’t worth the explanation. He wasn’t worth my tears. Come to find out, he wasn’t even worth me letting my guard down, and he definitely wasn’t worth Rae.

I stood from the table and walked away. I
kinda wanted him to follow me. I kinda wanted him to profess his love for me, despite me knowing that there was no real love between us. I just needed to hear something that justified how I had stupidly let a piece of dick sway me into the same trap of a disloyal lying ass nigga.

It was almost four in the morning. I was riding down the e-way towards Simone’s crib. My cell phone rang. It was a number that I didn’t recognize. Nor was it saved in my contacts.

“Hello?”

“Whad up, nephew?”

I almost
veered off of the road. I fought to keep control of my Challenger, to keep it from swaying over to the shoulder of the expressway.

I had been looking for this nigga for weeks.
But just like I assumed, he wasn’t going to let me get away with this shit for long.

Before I could say anything, he told me, “Come holla at me.”

Though he was coming at me like a man, I figured that this might be a set up. Yet, I still salivated at the thought of putting him in the same ground that he put Aeysha in, so I complied without a second thought.

“Where you at?”

He was parked in front this abandoned building on 63rd and Carpenter. At four in the morning and with it being barely twenty degrees outside, the streets were completely dark and completely quiet. As I crawled down the block, I saw Ching’s Range Rover running just where he said it would be. Smoke spilled out of the exhaust as I pulled up behind it. Something told me that I should shoot Capone a text message, but I decided against it. This was between me and Ching. There was no need to keep making other people a part of it.

I still watched my back though. I grabbed my pistol from underneath my seat and
held it tightly with my finger on the trigger. The metal was cold against my skin. I looked through the windows of the Range Rover and saw that Ching was the only one inside.

I could hear the locks popping just as I reached the passenger side of the vehicle. I opened the door cautiously; expecting
for gunfire to meet me. Yet, Ching was simply sitting in the seat rolling a blunt. I could hear Jay Z’s voice faintly.

Once I slipped into the passenger seat, he noticed
the gun that I was holding, he noticed how my finger was still on the trigger, and he chuckled. “Are you serious, man?”
“I told you months ago that I had a bullet waiting on yo’ ass on this side if you ever got out.”

My nerve and bravery took him by surprise. “You know, I was hoping that you
were just going through some fucked up shit because of what happened to Aeysha. Your mother told my mother that you been pretty fucked up behind her murder. That’s why I let you get away with this bullshit you been pullin’…”

“You
ain’t let me get away with shit. You shot up my spot.”

“No, my block boys shot up your spot. You shot
one of them. You think they was gone let you get away with that shit?”

“Just like I ain
’t lettin’ you get away with killing Aeysha.”

“I didn
’t kill Aeysha.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Nephew…”

“Stop calling me that shit!”
I aimed the gun at his head before I knew it. The barrel of my pistol hit his temple so hard that it slightly knocked his head into the window.

To my surprise, he didn
’t react. He didn’t move. He didn’t retaliate. He just sat in the driver’s seat, motionless, while I held the pistol against his dome.

“I
’m not your fucking nephew, motherfucka! I’m not your family! Family don’t do what the fuck you did! You killed her!”

He had the balls to turn towards me. The gun was pointing right between his eyes.

“If I was bogus enough to kill her, don’t you think that you would be dead by now? You’ve stolen over a quarter million dollars worth of dope from me. You’ve made me look like a punk ass nigga to my entire camp because I ain’t popped yo’ ass.”

I didn
’t try to stop my tears from falling. It hurt me to the point of great sadness that I was about to blow the brains out of a man that I looked up to for all of my life, a man that ended up hurting me in a way that I will never get over.

At the same time,
it brought such tears of joy to me that I was finally about to show Aeysha that I was the man that I always wanted to be for her, protecting her with all of my ability.

When I woke up that morning, it caught me off guard that Omari wasn’t there. He sent me a text message during the middle of the night saying that he was still at the spot but would be home shortly. I was so sleepy that I didn’t even respond.

Before going to shower
for work, I called him a few times, but didn’t get an answer. I figured that he’d gotten too drunk to drive and decided to spend the night at one of the spots. That had happened a few times in the past. I was actually appreciative that he wasn’t home. I didn’t have to force myself to regurgitate like I usually did while in the bathroom in the morning.

I hated throwing up. I hated those fucking prenatal pills.
And I definitely hated how fat I was letting myself get.

Yet, it would all be over soon. As I dressed for work, I imagined how beautiful Erica
’s baby would be. I gloated in the thought of Omari and me bathing our baby boy for the first time. I relished in the joy of our family finally being complete. In the same instance, I would be destroying the happily ever after that Tre played me for. The idea made me incredibly happy.

I called Omari
’s phone a few more times as I gathered my purse and handbag. Again, I didn’t get an answer. I sent him a text message asking him to call me as soon as he woke up to let me know that he was okay. I thought that maybe I should drive by the spots just to make sure that he was there. My natural female insecurities began to surface. When I met Omari, he had a woman for years and yet fucked me relentlessly with no problem. I got sick with worry, wondering if he had gone back to his old ways and that I was starting to reap what I sowed.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts
as I left out of the condo that I had no idea that someone was standing on the other side of the front door until he was so close that his large stature overshadowed me. At first I was relieved, assuming that the man was Omari. But when I recognized who it really was, my relief turned into panic.

When our eyes met, my heart fell to the deepest pit of my stomach and I
became weak with pure terror. Chills that felt like death feverishly ran down my spine. As he charged towards me, I was suddenly extremely sorrowful for everything that I had done. For the first time, I was sorry for killing Aeysha. I was especially remorseful for smothering that poor baby to death. I condemned myself over and over again.

I
attempted to fight back as he grabbed me around my neck, but he was so powerful as he attacked me that I could feel my acrylic nails ripping away from my fingertips as my hands collided with his attack.

I clawed at his hand around my neck while trying
desperately to breathe, hoping that someone would come out of their home and see our confrontation.

“No!
Stop!” I tried to scream, but his hand was so tight around my throat that I could barely get out the words. “Jimmy, no!”

I was leaving that morning. By the time Capone and Omari woke up and did their rounds at the spots, I would be on a flight to Georgia.

“I just came
to get my things.”

Gia stood in her doorway with annoyan
ce all over her face. I hadn’t seen her since she walked out on me earlier that morning at the restaurant. I hadn’t followed her once she stormed out. I simply sat at the table in White Palace trying to figure out a way to get around leaving Chicago. I didn’t want to leave, and seeing Gia’s reaction made me want to stay even more.

But
even though I wracked my brain, it was evident that I didn’t have a choice but to get on the flight. So, about thirty minutes ago, I finally left the restaurant.

Proof
of Gia’s pain was all over her face. Her makeup was smeared. Her hair was all over her head. I knew that she hadn’t been to sleep.

She reluctantly moved out of the way to let me in. I promised myself to make this quick. I only had a few things in her room that I needed to grab
; clothes, shoes, hats, and a stash of cash in her drawer.

I wanted to make it quick because I knew that I was hurting her. I knew that my distance and dry a
ttitude towards leaving was making her regret every moment she had spent with me. But there was no way that I could explain this shit to her. It was for her own good that I just bounced without telling her anything.

I didn
’t want to leave her. I would have given anything to stay in the Chi, fucking her and working alongside Omari and Capone, but that shit was too risky. It was time for me to bounce. I convinced myself that I could create a similar life in Georgia.

“Gia…”

I wanted to apologize. She sat on the couch with tears in her eyes. I knew that leaving wasn’t what was pissing her off. It was the fact that on top of Rae killing herself damn near in front of her, I was pulling this move. She was pissed at my nerve. She was pissed at me for not living up to my bargain of being real.

I couldn
’t blame her.

S
he cut off my apology by cutting her eyes at me. I sighed heavily, deciding not to say anything and just bounce. I rested my keys and phone on the coffee table and disappeared into her bedroom a few feet away.

I felt like shit for so many reasons.
Gia and I had talked about her trust issues with men for hours. When we first met, she told me so many stories of niggas fucking her over to the point that she was open to Rae’s affectionate, loving, and trusting lesbian relationship.

I hated to be another man on her list that hurt her. I wasn
’t in love with her, but I cared for her and was looking forward to the day that we made the commitment to be together forever. I wanted her to know that I was leaving against my own will and that I would do anything to change the things that I’d done in my past that made it impossible for me to stay in Chicago.

Leaving
was something that I had to do. She wouldn’t understand but, by the way my life was going, I figured she was better off without me anyway.

“Who the fuck is Simone
?!”

Gia
’s shouts caught me off guard as I was throwing my clothes into a duffle bag. I spun around, looking at her like she was crazy. That’s when my keys, which were once flying through the air, smacked me dead in the nose.

“
‘Why did you do this to me?’ ‘You were supposed to be with me’!”

I held my face as I picked up my keys from the floor. All the while, t
he words that Gia was quoting sounded so eerily familiar. I recognized them as text messages that I had been sending to Simone in frustration. My heart sank, realizing what Gia thought she’d read.

“You lying son of a bitch!”

Then she threw my phone across the room. I was able to catch it before it hit me in the face as well.

Gia continuously screamed as tears streamed down her face. “Get the fuck out
!! NOW! GET THE FUCK OUT!!”