Secrets and Shadows (35 page)

“Think about it, Jessica. You want us running the big dogs around here, or do you want her back in charge?” She leaned in, her nose pressed to mine and I waved
no
at Pietr once more. “Because the bitch is back,” she confided before she stomped off.

When I spotted Sarah in the hal way I knew things wouldn’t be pretty. Except for her. She looked beautiful as an avenging angel with her perfect hair and perfect makeup.

“Sarah,” I tried. “I’m sorry we hurt you.” I reached out to her, but she smacked my hand away.

“You should have told me sooner. You should have been honest.” She closed her eyes hard, a tiny crease appearing between her sculpted brows. “I thought we were best friends.”

“We are,” I insisted.

“No. Best friends don’t steal each other’s boyfriends.”

Pietr stepped up. “Jess didn’t steal me away. I chose her.”

Her eyes lit up when he spoke to her; her expression softened. “Oh, Pietr.” She sighed. “Guys never get it. Relationships aren’t like that. There’s no choosing, unless we choose to let you believe you’ve chosen.”

“You’re wasting your time here, trying to get her to see reason,” Amy muttered to me.

“Sarah,” I tried again. “I hope we can stil be friends.”

Amy puffed out an exasperated sigh.

Sarah’s eyes shot wide open, a crooked smile rol ing across her face. “Friends? You hope we can stil be…” She rubbed her forehead, the scar at her hairline that her makeup helped hide. She refocused on me, her eyes glittering dangerously.

me, her eyes glittering dangerously.

“People think I’m insane, do you realize? I’ve seen them stare, heard what they whisper to each other behind their hands in the hal ways. The prettiest girl in Junction, al broke down and hanging with the losers. Then Pietr came along and our whole group’s status jumped. Crazy what one guy can do to change so many lives.… But you know what, Jessica? Even if I’d lost my ever-loving mind, I’d never be as crazy as you if you believe—even for a second—I could be friends with you after what you’ve done.”

“You raging psychopath! Jessie’s the only one who stayed by you when you were
this
close to death!”

Amy snapped, shoving Sarah’s shoulder.

Sarah’s purse whipped around her back, pencils, pens, and a single book flying. “Bitch!” she shrieked.

“Don’t you ever put your grubby hands on me again, trailer trash!”

Amy charged, but I grabbed her, locked my arms around her and planted my feet, grimacing as Amy fought to break free.

“Sarah, think about things again,” I urged. “Remember in Ms. Wyatt’s class—the quote you chose last project about life being a chance to grow a soul? I believe that. Remember that. I’m sorry we hurt you—we never meant to. Remember who your friends were after the accident. Who cared for you then?”

Macie and Jenny flanked Sarah suddenly, sneering so stylishly they could have won a snob-off competition. They looked nervous when I al uded to their abandonment.

Until Sarah laughed.

“Did you think I would ever expect
them
to spoon-feed me Jel -O in the hospital? They’re a different kind of friend—the powerful, beautiful type. Are we bitches? Hel , yes! But I never expected anything more from them.
They
never disappointed me. But, you…” Tears wobbled at the edges of her eyes. “You made me expect more from people. You made me think there was trust to be had. You lied, Jessica Gil mansen!

You lied about everything!”

Amy no longer pul ed against me. Instead, she straightened, a wal to guard me from the seething devil with an angel’s face.

Tears ruined Sarah’s mascara. “Damn it!” She spun away and scrambled to pick up the contents of her purse while Jenny watched, amused. Macie spared me one pleading glance.

I flinched, wanting to go to Sarah, to help, but Amy changed her stance once more. She held me back, arms straight out like bars, shaking her head in mute warning.

In a moment Sarah was on her feet again, forcing her book into her purse.

Derek came up behind her, Marvin at his side. Derek watched the scene with eyes so dark they threatened to eclipse the blue that normal y sparkled like cut sapphires. Beside me, Pietr bristled. The air between us hummed and I felt the growl build in him. I clutched his hand and the air stil ed, the electricity between us settling.

“You’re no friend of mine, Jessica Gil mansen. Don’t think you ever were,” Sarah declared with a hiccup of grief. She whipped away—right into Derek’s open arms. He held her, whispered, and stroked the wispy blond strands of her hair, his eyes rising to meet mine.

My cheeks flamed, but my eyes fel to the book spine just peeking from Sarah’s purse:
The Prince
, by Machiavel i.

I realized, watching them walk away, Sarah and Derek in front, Macie and Marvin trailing behind, with Jenny lost between, that the same brutal alpha and beta struggles that raged in wolf packs were also waged in high school.

* * *

Max was deep in conversation (as deep as Max could get) with Amy in a distant corner, out of earshot of the crowd. Try as I had to keep them apart, Amy adored Max. And who was I to stand between them?

Time was short, as Pietr so frequently reminded me. Maybe we al needed to live life fiercely.

And love courageously.

Pietr stood in line and watched the clock. Catching my scent, he grinned and edged obediently forward with the line.

I sat and dumped the contents of my bag. Apple. Sandwich. So amazingly nondescript—
normal
. The standard buzz of the cafeteria shifted when I felt a hand rest on my knee and I realized someone crouched in the aisle beside me.

Derek.

Everything muted and dul ed to background static as Derek fil ed my vision with his knowing smile. “Hey, Jessica.”

“Hey.”

“I enjoyed taking you out Hal oween day,” he murmured.

My body warmed beneath his touch, like sunlight crept through shadow. “I don’t remember any of it,” I admitted, feeling my eyebrows tug together. And then there was a picture in my head, a memory that bubbled up to a spot in my brain where I could grab it. The cafeteria grew hazy.

“You don’t remember?” he soothed. “That’s too bad—you were enjoying yourself.…”

I choked, my vision fil ing with memories of me kissing him, remembering the taste of his mouth, his tongue. Sprawled on his bed, him pushing me down … fingers creeping along my bare stomach …

I nearly tumbled backward out of my seat, scrambling to get away from his touch—my shame. “I…” My face burned. I sensed more than saw movement in the cafeteria as Cat rushed toward me.

Derek grabbed my wrist, stopped me from fal ing, and pul ed me close to whisper, “It won’t last with him.”

Another image tore into my head: Pietr and Max before the sliding-metal doors in the CIA’s bunker the night they tried to free Mother, bul ets ripping into them. I gasped—I convulsed—as each impact rocked their bodies.

Suddenly before me, her form wavering like a mirage in my fluctuating vision, Cat reached over, laying her palm over Derek’s hand just where he held my arm. Her eyes flashed, and she jerked up so fast she nearly toppled over.

Derek grinned and pul ed back, stepping away to disappear into a group of students as Cat searched the cafeteria.

the cafeteria.

My head cradled in my hands, Max’s appearance surprised me. And then there was Pietr. Catherine said something to them—something in Russian.

Something I wasn’t meant to understand.

Max grabbed me by the shoulders, bending down to stare into my eyes. “It’s not your fault, Jessie,” he assured me before turning back to Cat. “He’s our wild card?”

“He saw you that night—probably saw us planning beforehand—” Cat shook her head.

“The bug was nothing,” Pietr muttered as he sat down heavily beside me and curled me against him, combing at my hair with tentative fingers. “Might as wel have been a decoy.”

“He’s been using Jessie as his eyes…,” Cat murmured, awestruck. “We haven’t given him enough credit.”

“Shhh,” Pietr warned, his hand pausing over my ear.

“What?” I looked up, horrified. “What do you mean?”

“Shhh,” Pietr soothed.

I pul ed out of his grip, turning on him. “Don’t you shush me, Pietr Rusakova—the time for keeping things from me is over,” I hissed. “Are you saying Derek … used—
used
—me to spy on you?”

Pietr looked away, his face twisting. “You’re not the only one out of the loop,” he whispered, watching Cat and Max.

“Why didn’t we realize this before?” Max asked, his eyes on the doors, watchful. His fingers twitched by his hip.

“We were thinking about the problems they wanted us thinking about. And he’s planted right here

—among the rest of a normal student body.”

“There is less and less normal here,” Max muttered. “We should have cleared this threat sooner, brother.” He looked at Pietr.

Softly Pietr returned, “Perhaps if you had better defined the threat for me…” He shook his head, holding me tighter. “What would you have me do? Kil him?” he asked, spitting out the last words.

“He is why we failed. Why we nearly died that night. We need to eliminate the threat.”

“You tel me how, brother,” Pietr chal enged.

Amy and Sophia stood back, hanging in the aisle, waiting for the fal out to stop. And probably hearing just a little too much. I watched them careful y. Soph and Amy had been my best friends for years. I trusted them. At what point did they need to know more? At what point was giving them too much information for their comfort necessary for their protection? If Derek was a threat to the Rusakovas—
to
werewolves
—and a threat to me, wasn’t he a threat to them, too?

“Cat,” I demanded. “I want answers. Now.”

Cat paced before me in the girls’ bathroom. Sophia blocked the door, al owed to participate because I informed Cat quite clearly she was as screwed up as the rest of us. Cat trusted me and knew I wouldn’t define what screwed up the Rusakovas, although Sophia probably guessed it was cultural.

Amy made it clear she wasn’t ready to know anything stranger about the Rusakovas and my new, not-so-normal life. She’d chalked up the gunshot wounds from before to getting into a fight over some girl.

She was far more wil ing to accept gangbangers in the tiny town of Junction than wonder about the truth.

Maybe Dr. Jones was right: The mind did come up with al sorts of crazy things to protect itself from the weird parts of reality. So I’d let Amy hold on to her blissful ignorance a little longer if I could.

But Sophia? She and I had some stuff to learn.

“Derek is a strange mix of things, Jessie. That is why we didn’t suspect.” Cat’s shoes clattered on the tile as she walked. She was struggling as I often did to find the right words. “A remote viewer—he can see locations from a distance, rifle through files, identify faces at covert meetings. But his job is made easier if he has a link to a direct witness.”

“Like me.”

“
Da
.” She shrugged. “He is also a social manipulator. He can encourage certain behaviors and attitudes in people by touching them and implanting his views. It is a trait most commonly found in successful politicians,” she added. “A reason the handshaking tours used to be so very popular with people. But there are moral codes.…”

“Politicians have moral codes?”

Cat shot me a glance. “Do you have other questions?”

Sophia raised her hand. “Are you going to tel her the rest, or save it for a rainy day?”

“The rest?” Cat asked.

“He’s capable of shifting energy, pul ing and pushing it from place to place. He devours it,” she explained, “gets a jolt—a high.”

I blurted, “That’s what Harnek meant by the stunt he pul ed at Homecoming when he got the crowd al riled up because they thought he was hurt.…”

“Counselor Harnek?” Cat whispered.

“Wait. Derek faked that?” Sophia snapped. “Bastard. We lost the game because he was getting high.”

“He’s like a vampire—but not the bloodsucking type,” I realized.

Cat spun from one of us to the other. “How do you—how do you know this?” she demanded.

“Derek and I went out once,” Sophia reluctantly volunteered. “He tried to cut his teeth—so to speak

—on me. He pul ed so much energy from me, he had to throw some back. It was sloppy—maybe his first try? I think that’s why … I think that’s why I’m like I am—he flipped a switch or something.”

“This is a lot,” I whispered. “A lot to take in.”

“Precisely why we avoided tel ing you,” Cat said hastily. “You are already dealing with so much, Jessie, and it’s such a big world. There is so much you don’t know. So much that is truly frightening if you are”

—Cat thought for a while—“only human. Some people do not handle the knowledge wel of how wide and deep their world truly is.”

“You were protecting me, too. By keeping secrets. Why is everyone trying so hard to protect me? If you’d al just frikkin’ tel me what to expect, maybe I could deal with it.” Chewing my lower lip, I faded out a moment, speculating.

Cat snapped her fingers in front of my face, bringing me back. “
Da
. You are handling it very wel ,” she griped.

“So rattle off the list, Cat,” I pushed. “What’s real y out there? I need to know.”

Cat paused, eyeing Sophia.

“Soph, you okay if we broaden the borders of crazy town? A lot?” I asked. “I mean, you thought you were the tour guide, and I drive the bus, but I think Cat may just be mayor.”