Secrets According to Humphrey (8 page)

Rm. 26

I crossed my toes hard.

“Wish me luck!” I squeaked to the fish.

They didn't answer, but maybe they glowed a little more brightly.

Then I started my slow climb down the drawers, across the library floor and under the door, back to Room 26.

Back to the place I love best of all!

When I got back, I was too tired to tell Og everything that had happened.

“Cross your fingers, um, paws, um, webbed feet that my Plan will work,” I said.

Og splashed around as I hurried back to the safety of my cage.

A little nap would have been nice, but I had too much on my mind. I pulled my notebook out from behind my little mirror.

I hadn't solved the Riddle of the Sphinx.

I wasn't sure if Joey would ever get
The Jungle Book
.

But I'd done my best and I had other things on my mind.

I opened my little notebook and began to write.

Human Secrets I Know About

- A student is leaving Room 26 soon. I don't know which student and I don't know when.

Question: Why is Mrs. Brisbane happy about that? Because I am NOT-NOT-NOT!

- Aldo has a secret that his wife, Maria, told him. What is it? (No clue)

- Joey's secret is that he doesn't enjoy reading. Will my Plan work?

- Secret Clubs: They started with Kelsey and Phoebe. Now Rosie, Cassie and Sophie have a secret club. So do Tall-Paul and Small-Paul. Feelings are being hurt. How to stop that?

- Ms. Mac has a secret longing to have a class pet. Will she get another hamster? Will she love it more than she loves me?

My Secrets

- I write my secret thoughts in this wonderful little notebook. But I don't let anyone else see it.

- I have a lock-that-doesn't-lock and I hope no one ever discovers that secret, either.

Question

- Are secrets good? Or are they bad?

HUMPHREY'S TOP SECRET SCRIBBLES
Secrets, secrets everywhere,
Should they stay secret, or should I share?

Secrets, Secrets Everywhere

S
o who solved the Riddle of the Sphinx
?
” Mrs. Brisbane asked the next morning.

I certainly didn't raise my paw, but I was surprised to see almost every hand go up.

I was amazed. Were there actually any three-legged creatures
?

“I wonder how many of you figured it out on your own and how many looked it up,” the teacher said. “How about you, Thomas
?
”

“I looked it up. It was in one of my library books,” Thomas said.

“Paul F., did you look it up
?
” Mrs. Brisbane asked.

Paul looked down at the desk. He seemed embarrassed.

“I didn't say you couldn't look it up,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “In fact, if you couldn't solve it on your own, I think it would be smart to look it up.”

Small-Paul and most of the students in the class looked relieved.

“I would have looked it up in the library, but I couldn't find the right book,” I squeaked.

Mrs. Brisbane looked over at my cage and smiled. “I wonder if Humphrey knows the answer,” she said.

“No, but I wish I did!” I replied.

Of course, all she heard was SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK.

“So who is going to tell me: What creature walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon and three legs in the evening
?
” Mrs. Brisbane asked.

Hands were waving everywhere, but she called on Stop-Talking-Sophie.

“I looked it up online and the answer is humans, because the beginning of life is like the morning, when people are babies and they crawl on all four legs. In the afternoon, when they're older, they walk on two legs. And in the evening, when they're very old, people sometimes walk with a cane. Once you know the answer it seems easy. But before I looked it up, it seemed impossible to answer at all,” Sophie answered without even taking a breath.

“That's true, Sophie,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “I think all riddles seem easy once you know the answer. But the legend is that many travelers lost their lives because they didn't figure it out.”

Rosie raised her hand. “Why didn't the travelers look it up
?
”

“They couldn't go online back then,” Thomas said. “They didn't have computers that long ago. I read about it in a book, but they probably didn't have books, either.”

“They didn't have books the way we do,” our teacher explained. “They had papyrus. It was very expensive, so hardly anyone had any. Students who were learning to write practiced on bits of stone.”

Thomas groaned. “That would sure make your backpack heavy!”

That made everyone laugh, including Mrs. Brisbane.

I was glad I had my little notebook, which hardly weighed a thing. Imagine if a small hamster had to write on stones!

Next, Mrs. Brisbane taught math, but it was a very funny kind of math they used in ancient Egypt. Instead of numbers, they used symbols and there were only seven of them.

Each 1 was a single line. That was easy, but as the numbers moved up, the symbols were stranger and stranger. A coil of rope stood for 10.

A finger represented 10,000, which is a very large number.

When Mrs. Brisbane showed us the symbol for 100,000, Og let out an extra-loud “BOING!”

The symbol for 100,000 was a frog!

“BOING-BOING-BOING!”

Of course, my friends all laughed.

When Mrs. Brisbane finished showing us all of the symbols, I was disappointed that one of them was not a hamster.

But I was happy there was at least a frog. Really.

Mrs. Brisbane put up some math problems for the class to solve using the symbols.

Near the end of the class, Mr. Fitch appeared, carrying a book.

I scrambled up to the tippy top of my cage and saw that the book had a dark red cover. I crossed my toes and hoped.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he said. “I found this book with a hold slip for Joey in Room Twenty-six. I thought I'd bring it down in case he needs it.”

First Just-Joey looked surprised. Then he frowned and shook his head. “Not for me.”

Mr. Fitch walked to Joey's table and handed him the book. “It's a good one,” he said.

Joey took the book.

The slip I'd written on was still tucked inside and Joey read it.

“Thanks,” he said, but he looked confused.

“Thanks!” I squeaked.

“What's the book
?
” Mrs. Brisbane asked when Mr. Fitch was gone.

“It's called
The Jungle Book,
” Joey said. “It has a lot of animals in it.”

Mrs. Brisbane looked pleased.

And I was HAPPY-HAPPY-HAPPY that my Plan had worked.

But I still wasn't sure that Joey would like the book.

Mrs. Brisbane kept on talking but Joey wasn't listening.

He opened the book and stared at the first page.

I think that Mrs. Brisbane knew that Joey wasn't listening, but she didn't say anything.

Joey turned the page.

I crossed my toes again.

My poor toes were aching by the time Mrs. Brisbane split the class up into their groups.

I wanted to keep track of Joey and the book, but there were so many things going on, I forgot.

First Phoebe waved her hand at Kelsey, wiggled her fingers and winked. I guess Kelsey forgot that she was helping to hold up the blocks for the pyramid. She started to return the signal while Simon was gluing the next one on.

The pyramid collapsed into a heap of blocks.

“Now look what you've done!” Simon said.

I didn't blame him for being irritated. Rosie was annoyed as well.

“What happened
?
” Mrs. Brisbane asked when she rushed over to their table.

“Kelsey let go,” Simon said.

“It was an accident,” Kelsey said.

“Well, Be-Careful-Kelsey,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “Help Simon and Rosie set it up again.”

The room was peaceful for a few minutes, but then Joey shouted, “Hey, watch out, Sophie! You almost got paint on my book.”

When I glanced at Sophie, she was looking at Rosie. Both of them had very red faces.

Mrs. Brisbane hurried over to the Artists. “What happened here
?
”

“She's acting strange,” Joey said. “She was making these weird moves. I think she flipped out or something.”

“Joey! That's not a nice thing to say,” Mrs. Brisbane said.

“I think there was a fly buzzing around my head or maybe it was a bee or a mosquito and I was trying to wave it away and I spilled some paint but not on his book,” Sophie explained.

I
think that she was performing her secret sign for her secret club.

Once the class was back at work and Mrs. Brisbane was talking to the Scribes, Small-Paul, Tall-Paul and Fix-It-Felipe spread their arms like wings and said something that sounded really strange. I think I heard “Flying Pharaohs” in the middle.

That made Joey look up from his book and frown. Maybe it was because they interrupted his reading, but maybe he wanted to be in a secret club, too.

Holly watched all the strange signals, too, and she didn't look happy about it, either.

Just before the bell rang, while my friends were cleaning up their tables, Thomas tapped Joey on the shoulder and pointed at the book.

“I read that one,” he said. “Do you like it
?
”

“It's pretty cool. I'd like to live in the jungle with those animals,” Joey said. “But it's awfully long.”

Thomas shrugged. “So what
?
It doesn't matter how long a book is. You start at the beginning and keep reading until you get to the end. When you get to the end, you start another book.”

Joey thought for a moment and then he grinned. “I can do that.”

It had been an unsqueakably strange day but at least one thing had turned out right.

Joey liked a book!

When the room was empty, I hopped on my wheel and spun as fast as I could.

I was going so fast, at first I didn't notice that Mr. Morales had come into Room 26.

He was talking to Mrs. Brisbane near the door.

Sometimes I wish I had a brake on my hamster wheel, but I spun slower and slower until I could hop off and listen.

“So far, it looks as if the plan will work out,” Mr. Morales said. “I got this from her mom today.”

He handed Mrs. Brisbane a piece of paper.

“Wonderful,” she said as she read it. “Oh, the whole class will love this!”

“We might even get the local television station to cover it,” he said. “There's never been anything like this at Longfellow School. But the important thing is,
we have to keep it a secret
.”

Mrs. Brisbane put a finger on her lips. “My lips are sealed,” she said.

That couldn't be true, because if her lips were sealed, she couldn't talk! Humans say the strangest things sometimes.

“You hear that, Humphrey and Og
?
” Mr. Morales pointed toward our table. “Not a peep out of you about the secret!”

I like Mr. Morales and he is the Most Important Person at Longfellow School, but I had to squeak up for myself.

“I don't even know the secret!” I squeaked at the top of my small lungs. “And I don't say ‘peep' and neither does Og!”

“BOING-BOING,” my froggy friend agreed.

Mr. Morales chuckled. “I guess he's saying the secret is safe with him.”

Well, he was WRONG-WRONG-WRONG about that!

After more talking, they both left Room 26 for the day.

Og and I were alone at last.

I jiggled my lock-that-doesn't-lock and scampered over to Og's tank. “I don't understand,” I squeaked. “Why is everyone so happy that one of our students is leaving
?
”

Og splashed and splashed and I had to scurry away to keep from getting wet. I don't ever want to get wet!

When he settled down, I moved closer again.

“But did you hear what Mr. Morales said
?
He said
her
mom. So the person leaving is a girl!”