Secrets According to Humphrey (12 page)

I knew I had time before Aldo came in to clean, so I got out my notebook and pencil and added some new thoughts to the secret about a student leaving Room 26.

- Question: Why is Mrs. Brisbane happy about that? Because I am NOT-NOT-NOT.

- Today, Holly said she might go to Hollywood and have her own television show. She said, “Any day now.” She is a good actress. Now, that would be a news story!

“Oh, no! Holly is leaving Room Twenty-six!” I said.

I jiggled my lock and raced over to Og's tank, notebook in paw.

“It's Holly that's leaving! I figured it out,” I squeaked.

Then I read him what I wrote in my notebook.

“BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og jumped up and down.

I guess he liked Holly as much as I did.

“She's always trying to help her friends,” I said. “Sometimes she goes overboard, but at least she tries! And sometimes when she cries, I want to hug her.”

“BOING!” Og agreed.

“Of course, it will be nice to say we know a famous actress but . . .” I couldn't finish the sentence. I guess I felt a little bit like crying myself, but I don't know how!

I was so busy feeling sad, I didn't notice that it was dark outside.

Suddenly, I heard the THUMP-THUMP-THUMP of Aldo's cleaning cart. Then the RATTLE-RATTLE-RATTLE as he turned the doorknob.

“Eeek!” As I raced back to my cage, my notebook flew out of my paws and slid across the table.

Dropping my notebook was a bad thing, but getting caught outside of my cage could be worse. I hoped I could get it later, so I pulled the cage door behind me, just as the lights came on.

“Never fear, 'cause Aldo's here!” his voice boomed out.

What a close call! My heart was pounding.

At least Aldo hadn't caught me out of my cage and discovered my secret. He would fix my lock-that-doesn't-lock and I'd be stuck in my cage forever!

I looked to see where my notebook ended up and it wasn't on the table! It was on the floor, near the leg of one of the tables. The notebook that's my
biggest
secret!

“Og! My notebook's on the floor!” I squeaked at the top of my small lungs.

“SCREEE!” Og yelled. That's the sound he makes when he thinks there's real danger.

There was danger, all right, but there wasn't one thing I could do except hope that Aldo wouldn't notice the notebook. Or, if he did, that he would at least put it somewhere I could get it after he left.

However, Aldo is a GREAT-GREAT-GREAT cleaner, and he doesn't leave much behind.

I watched his every move. He dusted, he picked up trash. Then he got out his big broom—the one he can actually balance on one finger—and began to sweep.

My tail was twitching as the broom got closer and closer to my little notebook.

“Fellows, you know that big news I've been talking about
?
” he said. “Well, tonight I might tell you.”

Aldo looked over at Og and me but he kept on sweeping. He didn't even notice that the big broom covered my little notebook as he swept everything on the floor into a big pile.

“Maria said it's okay to tell everybody tomorrow, but I can't hold it in another minute,” he said.

He got his big dustpan from the cart and swept the pile of trash—and my notebook—right into it.

“You see, we're not having
a
baby,” he said. “We're having
two
babies. Twins!”

“Eeek!” I squeaked.

I wasn't squeaking about the twins. I was squeaking because he dumped the trash into the plastic bag in the big bin on his cart.

“BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og twanged excitedly.

Aldo was so wrapped up in thinking about the twins, he never even noticed!

I felt as if my heart sank to the bottom of my toes.

But I managed to squeak out, “Congratulations, Aldo! That's wonderful news.”

“I need to finish college fast so I can get a teaching job,” he continued. “I'll have a lot of mouths to feed.”

He mopped the floor but all I could think of was that bag of trash.

Finally, it was time for him to eat his dinner, which he always did in Room 26.

As he munched on his sandwich, Aldo talked happily about the twins and becoming a dad. I tried to listen, but my mind was on my notebook.

“I know it's not easy to be a dad,” he said. “But what's it like to be a double dad
?
”

I had no idea!

Just then, Aldo's phone rang.

“Maria!” he answered with a smile. Then suddenly he wasn't smiling.

“I'll be right there,” he said. “I'll just drop off my cart in my room and be there right away. Stay calm!”

Aldo didn't seem very calm.

“Maria's got a flat tire,” he said. “I've got to go help her.”

In a flash, Aldo tied up the bag of trash and pushed the cart out of the room.

“See you tomorrow!” he said.

I wasn't thinking about tomorrow.

I was thinking about tonight . . . and how I could get my notebook back.

There would be no more secret scribbling until I did.

Secret Mission

A
s soon as Aldo's car pulled out of the parking lot, I opened the lock-that-doesn't-lock and hurried over to squeak to Og.

“I'm REALLY-REALLY-REALLY sorry about Maria's flat tire,” I said. “But at least I know where to find the cart and the bag with my notebook.”

“BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og hopped up and down.

I was already racing across the table. “Wish me luck!”

“BOING-BOING!” Og answered.

I slid down the leg of our table, scampered across the room and squeezed under the door.

I scurried down the hall, past more and more classrooms. Even though I'd never been in Aldo's room, I knew where it was.

After passing Mr. Morales's office, I turned the next corner, raced past a drinking fountain and saw a door with a sign on it: Custodian.

I hunkered down and slid under the door—OOF!

It was dark inside and there weren't any windows.

There were some glowing lights along the wall where things were plugged in, such as a telephone and a huge flashlight.

Although I couldn't see much, I knew I was in the right place because I could smell Aldo's cart.

As a hamster, I have a wonderful sense of smell. My human friends would be surprised to know that each of them has a different smell. I can tell who's standing by my cage with my eyes closed!

I moved forward and there it was—Aldo's cart with the trash bag from Room 26!

I moved closer and gave it a good sniff.

Ah, yes! There was the unmistakable odor of paint and glue.

The Artists had used a lot of paint on their treasures. And the Builders had used a lot of glue on the pyramid.

I sniffed some more.

There was another familiar smell. Very old bedding. And, yes, my poo!

Do-It-Now-Daniel had cleaned out my cage that day. At the time, I was glad my cage was cleaned, but I wasn't so glad when I thought I might have to dig through my poo!

But I had to keep going.

I didn't want to end up buried in a mountain of trash, so I had a Plan. If I didn't have a Plan before trying something so risky, I could be one sorry hamster!

Luckily, the bag was on the bottom shelf.

I gave the corner a swipe with my paw.

It opened a tiny bit, but nothing came out.

So I swiped it a little higher and repeated.

The paint and glue smells were getting stronger.

Oh, and so was the poo.

I grabbed one side of the opening with both paws and tugged with all my might.

Then I ran away as fast as I could because I thought that the whole side of the bag might open.

And I was right!

EEEK! With a gigantic WHOOSH, the trash tumbled out like an avalanche!

It really was a mountain of trash. And a little bit of poo.

I suddenly wished that I had Og with me to warn me of the time. It could take all night to find my notebook and I didn't want to get caught out of my cage.

It was still hard to see things, so I used my sense of smell and my sense of touch to examine everything there.

Used tissues (EWWW), bits of pencils and erasers, paper with glue on it, paper with gold paint on it, a few bits of food. (Who was eating in class
?
)

Little by little, I climbed the mountain of trash, which was not an easy thing to do because things kept shifting under my paws.

UP-UP-UP I went, higher and higher, over mounds of paper, rubber bands, tiny pieces of chalk and markers that had run out of ink. (Markers are very slippery when you're climbing.)

Of course, it would be near the top, since Aldo had swept it up last.

I could almost see the top of the mountain when I felt something flat and firm under my paws.

Something like . . . my notebook!

I didn't have to look at it to know. It was the right size and the right smell.

“Oh, notebook,” I whispered. “Hello.” I picked it up with my front paws and hugged it close to me.

But I couldn't walk down the mountain on my back legs alone.

I tried holding it with my teeth, but it was heavier than I thought. It made me a little wobbly.

I was trying to figure out what to do when my back legs began to quiver and shiver and wobble and—there I went, tumbling down the mountain with my notebook in my teeth.

THUMP! BUMP! SMACK! WHACK! OW! WOW!

I rolled all the way to the bottom—but I still had my notebook!

My Plan had worked, although I hadn't expected the falling and rolling part.

I was happy. I was relieved. I was tired. But I had to get the notebook back to Room 26.

I was even more tired after pushing the notebook under the door. It was thicker than I was when I squished down my body. I had to use all my strength to force it through.

Slipping myself back under the door wasn't easy, either.

I started my journey back to Room 26 with the notebook in my mouth, but after a while, it felt too heavy.

I placed it on the floor and hopped on top, hoping it would slide like a skateboard, but it didn't budge.

Finally, I gave it a good shove with my front paws.

It moved forward a few inches and so that's what I did the rest of the night.

Inch by inch, past the office.

Inch by inch, past classroom after classroom.

It was definitely morning when I pushed the notebook under the door to Room 26, then pushed myself as well.

“I did it, Og! I found the notebook!” I shouted.

“BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING!”

Even from across the room, I could see that Og was jumping so high, he was about to pop the top of his tank.

“I'll hurry,” I said.

I pushed the notebook across the floor until I reached the table. Then, holding the notebook in my mouth, I grabbed onto the blinds' cord and swung myself UP-UP-UP—which took a lot longer with the extra weight of the notebook.

I leaped onto the table, raced past Og's tank and went into my cage.

At last, I slammed the door behind me and tucked my notebook behind the mirror.

“Home sweet home,” I said.

And I fell asleep.

I try to be a good student and keep up with the lessons in Room 26, but I have to admit that I slept through the whole day.

When I woke up, I felt like a brand-new hamster.

In fact, the first thing I did was hop on my wheel and go for a good spin, followed by a big gulp of water and a tasty snack of mealworms.

Then I settled into my soft bedding and listened to Og splashing around in the water side of his tank.

I guess I dozed off again, but I woke up when Aldo turned on the lights.

I hadn't even heard the RATTLE-RATTLE-RATTLE of his cart!

“Whooo, boys, I'm sorry I'm late. What a night!” Aldo pulled his cart in the room.

“What happened
?
” I squeaked.

Aldo mumbled to himself as he dusted the tables.

“The things I have to do,” he said.

“BOING-BOING!” Og replied.

“If I could get my hands on that rotten rodent . . . ,” he muttered.

“Eeek!” I squeaked. I was one worried rodent.

Aldo waved his dusting cloth. “You won't believe what happened!” I'd never seen Aldo look so angry. “I was in such a hurry to help Maria change the tire, I put the cart with the trash bag in my room.”

(I already knew that.)

Aldo continued. “Last night, some critter—it must have been a mouse—got into my room and chewed through the trash bag. When I went in there this evening, there was a mountain of trash all over the floor!”

Ooops!

“I had to spend an extra fifteen minutes getting it all back in the bag and cleaning the floor,” Aldo said.

“BOING-BOING!” Og twanged.

I was sorry, too.

Aldo shook his head. “I hate to do it, but I'm going to have to set some mousetraps. So if you smell cheese, Humphrey, don't go for it. I'd hate to see you get trapped.”

“EEEK-EEEK-EEEK!” I squeaked. Traps! I thought I might faint.

“I keep this place so clean, we've never had a mouse in Longfellow School before,” Aldo said.

“It's not your fault,” I murmured. “It's my fault.”

For once, I was glad he couldn't understand me.

Aldo sighed. “I was pretty mad tonight, but then I thought about the twins and I felt better. But I have to finish school—fast!”

“You can do it!” I squeaked.

After Aldo left, I thought about the mousetrap. But then I remembered that there wasn't actually a mouse after all. There was only me.

That cheese would not be touched.

I was unsqueakably sorry that I was the cause of Aldo's extra work.

And I vowed to take better care of my notebook.

HUMPHREY'S TOP SECRET SCRIBBLES
I'm HAPPY-HAPPY-HAPPY to have my notebook back to stay.
And I HOPE-HOPE-HOPE it will never go away.