Secret Storm (20 page)

***

He continued talking as if he hadn't heard
her. "Mom, Austin, and I testified at his trial. Prentiss was
sentenced to life in prison. His life ended there."

Sara's heart pounded in her ears and her face
burned hot. How could a man—a husband and father—destroy his own
family? Sheer horror had pushed her to the edge of the couch.

His pain had reached out and touched her,
pulling her back to him. He'd lived through it and somehow found a
way to survive. But telling her about it had taken its toll. His
grip on her hands weakened and his haunted eyes filled with guilt.
He blamed himself.

"You didn't answer my question."

"I don't understand."

"Have you forgiven yourself?"

Lightning lit his face, but his eyes remained
dark and empty. "No."

"None of it was your fault, but you still
hold yourself responsible. You still feel guilty, and you won't be
able to get past that until you forgive yourself for what you think
you did wrong, for the mistakes you think you made."

"My mom and I went to counseling—together,
separately—but no one ever said I needed to forgive myself. They
all wanted me to forgive
him
." He spit out that sentence
like something disgusting.

Sara chose her words carefully. Studying
psychology for the last four years had taught her just enough to be
dangerous. She wasn't qualified to counsel anyone yet, especially
someone who'd faced so much violence and pain, but she needed to
care for him somehow. "I think it's too soon. I think you need to
learn how to let go of your anger first."

"I have the anger under control." Rolling
thunder, dark and dangerous, underlined his words.

"That's not what I said."

He looked at her, confusion in his troubled
eyes. "What do you mean?"

"You can't control your anger forever. You've
done very well as long as I've known you, but if you don't let it
go, it's always going to be inside you. You may face a situation
where controlling it won't be enough."

"I get so tired...." His head dropped again,
and she put her arm around him, rubbing his shoulders. "How do I
let it go?"

Her education hadn't gone that far. "I don't
know. Maybe you should see a counselor again."

"Aren't you going to be a counselor?"

"Yes, but anger management isn't my area of
study."

"What are you studying?"

"Grief counseling."

He laughed without humor. "I suppose you're
going to tell me I need to go to the funeral."

"I've been telling you that from the
beginning."

He shook her arm off and stood up, his body
tense and rigid. "I do not need to grieve for him."

She reached for him. "No, you don't. You need
to mourn the things he took from you."

***

Somewhere in the dark depths of Jack's hurt
and angry heart, a light went on. Finally, he could see the way out
even if the path hadn't yet been lit. "What things?"

"Your safe home, your happy childhood, your
happy family... the father he should've been."

All the beatings, all the cruel words, all
the pain—none of it had ever made him cry, but with a few simple
words from Sara, he finally understood how much he'd lost. The wall
around his heart shattered and, with it no longer supporting him,
he dropped to his knees in front of her. He laid his head down in
her lap and stroked his hair as his shoulders shook. He couldn't
stop them.

The man he should've called his father, the
man who should've raised him with love and security, had taken away
everything he loved. Even though Prentiss was dead, Jack still
mourned the loss of the girl he'd once loved, and feared losing the
woman he loved now.

He wiped his eyes. "Sara, I—" But when he
looked up, her eyes sparkled with tears, her lashes wet and spiky.
His mother always cried alone while he hid in his room in the dark
and buried the anger in his heart. No one had ever shared his pain,
cried with him, until now. "I need you," he whispered.

"I'm here." She wiped a tear from his cheek
with her soft, warm hand.

He laid his head in her lap again, suddenly
drained. He couldn't remember ever feeling so exhausted, not even
after a tough game. "I can't talk about this anymore tonight."

"I understand."

Rain hammered the window and the wind howled,
but the secret storm that had overshadowed his life was finally
blowing itself out. "I came home to tell you I'm sorry I lied to
you. I should've trusted you from the beginning, but I was just too
stupid—"

"Shh...." She put her finger on his lips.
"You're not stupid. You were hurt and confused. I was too."

"I would've been here sooner, but I got
pulled over for speeding."

She smiled. "How fast were you going?"

He grunted. "You don't want to know. Let's
just say they slapped me with a really big ticket." He lifted
himself off his knees, his body aching with the effort, and sat
next to her again, holding her close. "I needed to get back here
and apologize—for everything."

"I'm sorry too."

"For what?"

She laid her head on his chest and sighed. "I
should've been more patient. I should've trusted you." She sat up
and looked into his eyes. "I know you, Jack. You've never given me
a reason not to trust you. David's cheating really hurt and then
you lied to me.... I was trying to protect myself."

He pulled her back down and kissed her hair.
"I'll never hurt you again."

"I know."

He wanted to tell her he loved her, but he
feared her response. With their future still uncertain, he didn't
want to take the chance. He'd searched for love for so long,
clinging to whatever affection he could find, but Sara was the only
woman he'd ever let into his heart. Now that he'd found her, he
didn't want to risk losing her, so instead of saying the words, he
lifted her face and kissed her, letting them echo in his heart
until he felt safe enough to say them aloud again someday.

She grabbed his collar and slid closer.
Breaking their kiss, she fiddled with his buttons and tugged on his
tie. "I've never seen you in one of these before. I like it."

"You probably never will again. I only wear
it for interviews and funerals."
Oh shit, I shouldn't have
mentioned funerals.
He braced himself.
Now she's gonna bring
up that subject again.

"How did your interview go?" She kissed him,
lingering on his lips.

"Good." He smiled, relieved. "Really good.
They said I'd probably hear from them soon."

"Is this the job with the football coaching
position?"

"Yeah. I really hope I get it. It's
everything I want."
Ideal location too.
He leaned down and
touched his lips to hers.

"Where is it?"

"Woodlawn High School." He parted her lips
with his tongue, hoping she would give up the interrogation if he
kept her mouth occupied.

"And where is that?"

'Never lie to a woman, Johnnie. She'll
find out anyway.'
"If I get the job, I'll tell you all about
it." He kissed her before she could argue, bracing for a fight when
they came up for air.

She smiled, slightly breathless. "Okay."

That was easy.

She wrapped his tie around her hand and used
it to pull him close. "I missed you." She opened her mouth,
inviting his tongue in.

This time he kissed her with no ulterior
motives, savoring the pure pleasure of her lips on his. "I missed
you, too. I don't ever want to be away from you again."
She's
leaving after graduation, dumbass.
"Not like that... not when
we're fighting."

Another rumble of thunder echoed in the
distance, but he couldn't tell if it was coming or going. "Is the
past behind us?"

"I think so, but the future...."

"Screw the future. Let's enjoy the
present."

"I am." She smiled and pulled him down for
another kiss, sliding her free hand up his back, her fingernails
raking his shoulders.

He shuddered, a little thrill of pleasure
mixed with the lingering pain. Remembering how much she liked to
make out, he slipped his tongue back in her mouth, slowly
exploring... but she had other ideas.

"I want you to stay with me tonight," she
whispered, a breath away from his lips.

His heart pounded.

"The only question is...."

Damn it. The storm is definitely moving
closer.

"Bedroom or coffee table?"

"Easy." Jack's eyes lit up and a slow,
relieved smile curled his lips. "I liked having you on the coffee
table."

"Mm-hmm." She nibbled his throat just inside
his collar. Heat shot through her veins at the thought of having
him in her bed again. "Oh!" She squealed and threw her arms around
him as he scooped her up and carried her to the bedroom.

"But I wanna take you to bed."

"Mmm yes." She opened the buttons on his
shirt and slid her fingertips down his hard chest. "You can take me
anywhere you want."

He laughed on her lips as he laid her across
her bed, standing between her knees, her legs dangling over the
edge as he stripped off his dress shirt.

She sat up and kissed his chest, circling his
nipples with her tongue. The wind picked up again, rattling the
windows.

He twisted his hands in her hair and let her
explore, gently guiding her mouth away from his scar.

She leaned back on her elbows and admired his
naked upper body.
The man is a fine, fine specimen.
Broad
shoulders, well-defined muscles, strong arms.... The suit pants
were a nice touch—a different look for him—but they definitely had
to go. "Don't stop now."

"Stop? You're the one who stopped."

She laughed. "Lose the pants."

***

Jack raised an eyebrow. He'd always been the
one to give directions—to every other woman he'd dated. But she
watched and waited as if expecting her own private strip show. "All
right, I'll indulge your little fantasy for now, but only because
you're so cute." He kicked off his shoes and socks and reached for
his belt.

"Now that's more like it."

"Are you enjoying this?" He slowly pulled his
belt through the loops.

"Baby, you have no idea." She grinned,
lightning dancing in her eyes.

He gave her a lopsided smile and slid his
zipper down, hoping it would satisfy her little whim, but she
settled into the pillows, the tip of her tongue circling her lips.
Does she know she's doing that? Driving me nuts.

"Get naked," she said.

"You're enjoying this a little too much."

"Yes I am."

He shook his head at her giddy smile, her
sassy blue eyes sparkling with anticipation. She licked her lips
again, and he felt like a holiday feast about to be devoured. He
might enjoy it, if only she would take her clothes off, too. The
thought of standing naked in front of her, while she had her shirt
buttoned up to the collar, freaked the hell out of him. He couldn't
be so vulnerable.

"Take your shirt off." That would make them
even.

"Oh, I will." But she made no effort to do
so. "When I'm damn good and ready."

"I'm ready."

"I can see that." She smiled and her gaze
touched the bulge in his pants.

He gritted his teeth, still holding his pants
up.
Is she punishing me?
She had him at her mercy, locked in
a power struggle he couldn't afford to lose. No way in hell he'd
walk away, and she knew it.

"Jack." She sat up and slid her hand behind
his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. Her lips ignited his body
like a lightning strike.

"Sara, please." His tongue invaded her mouth,
as he struggled to regain control. He couldn't touch her. If he let
go of his pants, he'd be left vulnerable and exposed.

Finally she made a move, touching his abs,
sliding her fingers along his scar. Jack flinched; Sara didn't. Her
fingertips gently traced the old wound, then she bent down and
pressed soft kisses from one end of it to the other.

He closed his eyes, bracing himself against
the flood of anger and bad memories he expected. But it didn't
come. A brief flash of sorrow shot through him and disappeared,
then lust filled his body as her mouth moved closer to his hard
cock. He buried one hand in her hair, his pants slipping down to
his hips as she teased him.

My God, she isn't punishing me. She's
teaching me to let go. Does she know she's doing that?

He let go of his pants and they hit the
floor, leaving him naked in front of her. Love for this woman who'd
taught him so much, who'd refused to give up on him, filled his
cold, hard heart, melting it from the inside out.

She took him in her mouth, circling his hard
shaft with her tongue.

He groaned and dropped to his knees, catching
her mouth with his. "Get naked," he whispered.

She laughed and unbuttoned her shirt while he
pulled her shorts off, taking her panties with them. She tossed her
bra across the room as he pushed her down on the bed, sliding
inside her as their hips joined on the cool white sheets.

"Oh God, you're so wet," he moaned on her
mouth, thrusting into her again.

"Oh Jack, you're—" She gasped as he filled
her. "What are you doing?"

He slid down her body and kneeled on the
floor, parting her thighs and nibbling at her flesh. "Devouring
you."

He made a feast out of her, and damn if she
wasn't the most delicious thing he'd ever tasted. He draped her
legs over his shoulders and got comfortable on top of his discarded
clothes, intending to stay there for a while.

***

Her toes curled. She reached down and grabbed
a fistful of his hair, rubbing her aching mound against his tongue.
Lightning flickered outside her window and she felt the electricity
light up her body, but not from the storm—from the spot where his
mouth met her flesh. It sparked along her spine, sending tingling
tongues of flame through her limbs. He moaned on her hot pink
flesh, vibrating one perfect spot.