Secret Storm (18 page)

"I did?"

Damn it, he doesn't remember.
She
wrung her hands, trying to find the right words. "I can't find my
watch."
That's not it, idiot.
"I think I gave it to you
yesterday. Do you still have it?"

"Yeah, I think I do." He patted his
pockets.

If he can't find it, I might have to
search him myself.
She imagined stripping him, sliding her
hands over his hard, naked—

Stop that!

"It should be... um... in the jeans I wore
yesterday." He looked around the room. "In the laundry basket." He
went to his bedroom and came back with her watch.

"Thanks."

His fingers touched her palm as he dropped it
into her hand. A casual touch, meaningless, really, but they both
felt it. Her skin tingled and when she looked up, the same spark
reflected in his eyes.

He slowly pulled his hand away, stroking her
palm with his fingertips. "How are you?" Those deep blue eyes
seemed to look straight into her soul.

"Okay." She turned away, catching sight of
his open bedroom door.
Bad idea.
"I um...."
Why is it so
hard to talk to him?
"I finally got an acceptance letter from
Greenwood University, so that's where I'm going next year."

"Good." He smiled. "That's where you wanted
to go, right?"

"Yeah. My first choice and I got in." She
smiled weakly. "Whew."
Why is this conversation so
awkward?

"Where is it again?"

"Forest Glen."

Jack's smile faded. "That's a long
drive."

"Yeah, four hours so... I guess I'll have to
move." The thought of leaving here, leaving him, suddenly tied her
stomach in knots.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I mean... it's good
you got into the school you wanted, but...." He ran his hand
through his hair, and when he finally spoke, the words struck her.
"What does this mean for us?"

"I don't know." She swallowed the lump in her
throat. She had to be honest with him now. No reason to give him
any false hope. "I don't want a long-distance relationship."

"Four hours is not that far. I could come
every weekend."

He seemed to have forgotten her saying she
couldn't be with him. Honestly, she wanted to forget that too.
"I've tried that before. David and I started out with great plans
to see each other often, but eventually we just...."

"I am not David," he growled.

"I know. I wasn't comparing you to him. I
just don't want to go through that again, especially since I don't
know if we—I mean—you and I...."
Dear God, what am I trying to
say?
"I don't know what's going to happen to us."

His eyes turned dark, his face hard. "Why
not?"

Seriously?
"Where have you been all
weekend?" she snapped. "Jack, we can't go on like this—"

"Like what?" He crossed his arms over his
chest and stared her down.

"Not communicating! Not trusting! If we can't
make this work face-to-face, a long-distance relationship will be
impossible."

"Then tell me what I need to do—"

"Do I really need to spell it out for you
again? All right—for the last time—tell me why you won't go to the
funeral so I can help you deal with it."

Jack just stood there, closed off and
unreachable. "I dealt with it a long time ago. I don't need
anyone's help."

That nagging fear of rejection ripped through
her heart, the pain nearly sending Sara to her knees, but she stood
strong, sure it could never get uglier than this.
Don't give up
on him.

"You do. You told me last night."

"What?"

"You called me last night when you were
drunk, left a message."

"I don't remember that."

"I figured. You said you needed me. You asked
me to help you."

"I'm sorry. I never...." He shook his head,
his eyebrows drawn together.

She cast out one last lifeline in the vain
hope that he might reach for it.

"When you finally decide to let me in, you
know where to find me." She turned and opened the front door, then
looked back at him. "I'm not running away anymore." She walked out,
but left the door open between them, an unspoken invitation she
hoped he would one day accept.

***

"Don't go," he said to the empty doorway. "I
need you. I need... help?"

He let her walk out again.
Why?
He
considered looking for the bottle of scotch under the couch.

No, he wouldn't drink again. Fog still
enveloped his brain, and he desperately fought his way through,
recalling his conversation with Austin..

"You have to be honest with her. About
everything."

"I don't want to risk losing her."

"Haven't you already? Think about that."

She'd walked out on him twice in as many
days. She'd said she wouldn't run away anymore, but could he risk
not telling her, hoping she stayed?

If you love this girl, you need to tell her
the truth.

He loved Sara—no question about that—but she
didn't believe him.

Show her you mean it.

But how?

His phone chirped and a reminder popped up on
the screen. He had a second interview at Woodlawn High School
tomorrow for a position as a guidance counselor and assistant
football coach. The first step toward the job of his dreams. All
the other jobs he'd interviewed for wanted baseball coaches—not
what he wanted—so being accepted here would get him on the right
path from the start.

The high school was four hours away so he
planned on leaving tonight, missing his Monday classes, and driving
home in time for baseball practice.

When he typed the address in to his GPS app,
the destination jumped out at him: Forest Glen.
Holy shit!
That's where Sara's going!
He'd been so wrapped up in his own
plans that he didn't even realize he and Sara were headed toward
the same place. If he got this job, they could be together. What
better way to show her he loved her?

He ran to his bedroom and pulled a duffle bag
from his closet, throwing in any clean clothes he could find. He
grabbed his one and only suit and hung it on the doorknob.
Where's my damn tie?
He only owned one and had only ever
worn it to interviews... and the funeral he'd gone to in high
school.

He shuddered
. Don't think about that
now.

What else did he need? Belt, shoes,
shirt—
ah
—his tie. He ran to the bathroom and grabbed
everything he needed there, threw it in the bag, and snatched his
keys off his desk. Looking around the room to make sure he hadn't
missed anything, he felt a little glimmer of hope lighten his
heart.

He would make this work—somehow.

***

"Come on, come on! You worthless piece of
shit. Start, damn it!" Jack pounded his fist on the steering wheel,
turning the key so hard it nearly snapped. The Mustang's engine
sputtered and coughed, but wouldn't turn over. "No no no!"

He jumped out of the car and raised the hood,
checking all the connections, but he couldn't find anything wrong.
He climbed back in the driver's seat and tried again, but the car
still wouldn't start. He smacked his head on the steering wheel and
took a deep breath, then another, slowly counting to ten...
twenty.... He closed his eyes and turned the key. Click. Silence.
He let loose every swear word he knew—and a few he made up on the
spot—blasting the horn across the parking lot.
Yeah that
helped.

"Hey, Jack, what's going on?" Austin and Jane
pulled up in the parking space next to him.

"I'm going to hurt someone," he growled under
his breath.
No! Pull yourself together.
He raised his head
and, if he weren't so furious, might have laughed at the panic on
his friend's face. "Damn thing won't start and I have to go to an
interview."

"Oh yeah, the one in Forest Glen, right?"

"Right." He got out and popped the hood
again.

"That's where Sara's going to grad school,"
Jane said.

"Yeah. It took me a while to make that
connection."

Austin laughed. "Dumbass."

"Tell me about it. So if I get this job, I
can go with her." He pulled out a plug and jammed it back in. "But
this goddamned car decided to fail me when I needed it most."

He slammed the hood shut and took a step back
from the engine, away from anyone he might hit. Rage boiled inside
him, fighting for escape. He jammed his fists into his eyes, trying
to push the anger back and focus on what he needed to do. He needed
to...
breathe
... find a way...
breathe deeper
... to
be with Sara.

"Are you okay, man?" His friend put a hand on
his shoulder.

He felt the anger fade—not gone, but captive
for now. He blinked in the glaring sunlight. "I need to borrow your
Jeep."

Austin handed the keys to him. "Is there
anything else I can do?"

He grabbed his bag and his suit and tossed
them in the Jeep, which started on the first try. He looked back at
the motionless Mustang. "If you can get that thing running, it's
yours. I'm done with it." He backed out of the parking space and
stopped. "Don't tell Sara where I'm going. If this doesn't work
out, I gotta come up with something else."

"You got it. Good luck."

"Thanks." He tore out of the parking lot,
sorry to leave the Mustang behind. He almost missed it. Still
registered in his real name, the car was the only thing he had left
from his former life. Something bothered him about letting it go.
He shook that thought out of his mind and turned on the radio,
leaned back in his seat, and let the wind blow through his
hair.

For a moment, he wanted to keep on driving
and never turn back. He never ran away from obstacles; he plowed
into them head-on, running them over if they didn't get out of his
way. An angry runner, his coaches called him. Anger had served him
well during his football playing days, but the season was over.
What good would it do him now? Anger was exhausting. Maybe he
should let that go too, but how?

He looked at his watch. Three hours and fifty
minutes to go—a damn long drive.

***

A good night's sleep usually improved Sara's
mood. Unfortunately, she'd lain awake for hours, wondering if she'd
done the right thing. What else could she do? Jack wouldn't talk.
She could only wait and hope he turned to her when he finally
realized he needed help. In the meantime, she would remain his
friend.

Easier said than done, especially when he
didn't show up for class.

She left the academic building and spotted
Austin and Jane alone in the courtyard under a tree. "Austin!" She
ran to catch up with them. "Where's Jack? He missed class this
morning and his car isn't here."

"Wouldn't be the first time his car didn't
make it to school." Austin laughed and put his arm around Jane,
walking with her toward the library.

If he doesn't stop smiling at me with his
stupid face, I'm gonna....
"It's not like him to miss class
without an excuse. Oh God." She grabbed Austin's arm, jerking him
to a sudden stop. "He isn't hung-over again, is he?"

"No, he's fine, last I heard."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm sure he's fine."

"When was the last time you talked to
him?"

"Yesterday afternoon."

"And you haven't seen him since?"

"Nope."

She scowled, searching his devious eyes. He
knew something, and was covering for his friend. What could Jack be
doing?
Oh God. Did he spend the night with another woman?
Her heart plummeted, twisting and turning until her stomach tied in
knots and she wanted to throw up. Why should that bother her?
Either one of them could sleep with someone else if they wanted to,
so what was the big deal?

He wasn't supposed to find someone else so
quickly, damn it.

She fixed her most intimidating glare on
Austin and he stepped back. "Tell me why he wasn't in class."

"He went to an intervi— Ow!" He rubbed his
ribs where Jane had elbowed him. "I didn't tell her where."

"Where?"

"Um... it's in Oak Grove."

"You're a terrible liar."

Jane laughed and Austin smiled. "Thank
you."

Sara frowned at her roommate. "Do you know
about this too?"

"Uh-huh."

"Why is everyone keeping secrets from me
again?"

"It's not a secret," Austin said. "He'll tell
you when he gets back."

"Yeah right, because he's so good at telling
me things." She rolled her eyes. Why did she even bother? Obviously
Jack didn't think she was important enough to tell her when he left
town.
Well that's just fine.

Austin put his hand on her shaking shoulder.
"You gotta trust him on this one."

"Trust him? Didn't we already have this
conversation?" All these talks had started to blend together.

"All right then, trust
me
."

She shot him a glare that should've made him
cower, but he just grinned.

"Jack is headed toward the right path. It
might take him a while to find it, but he'll get there
eventually."

"So I'm just supposed to wait until he
figures out where he's going?" She'd decided last night to do just
that, but now she had doubts.

"Pretty much, yeah."

"I don't know if I have that much
patience."

"Do you love him?" Jane said.

"I can't even think about love right
now."

"Maybe you should."

Jane put a hand on her arm, looking so
concerned that Sara wanted to puke. Her compliant boyfriend nodded
with the same sickening look.

She jerked her arm away. "I knew this was
going to happen. You two have turned into one of those annoying
couples who think they know everything about love and
relationships. Well you can spare me your expert advice. I'll
handle this on my own."