Secret Indiscretions (23 page)

V
ivana looked at Johnny and felt like slapping him across his face; the same face that, if it had not been for her, would still carry the vicious scars that she now felt he deserved.

After their hotel squabble a few months ago, Vivana had felt terrible about the wounds she'd inflicted upon his face and neck. And to add disaster to an already bad situation, he'd gotten into a violent fight with his best friend the next day, severing their friendship along with a few ribs and Johnny's jaw, which had required wiring for a solid month. Once he healed enough from his injuries, Vivana had used some of the money she'd received in her divorce settlement to pay for two reconstructive surgeries and four skin-resurfacing procedures for him. She'd taken Johnny to the best plastic surgeon in Birmingham to restore his handsome looks to as good as new.

Now, as Vivana looked at her boyfriend, all she could do was wonder how she had fallen so hard, so fast, and so obsessively for someone who seemed not to appreciate her, no matter how much she did for him. It seemed the more she gave, the more he took, and she was beginning to grow weary of always being on the receiving side of zero.

“It only took me thirty-nine days to end my marriage,” Vivana huffed as she glared at Johnny, standing over him with her arms folded across her ample chest. “It's been four months and you still haven't even signed the separation papers that Geneva sent you.”

Johnny leaned back on the couch and responded without looking her way. “I already told you, I'm not giving up half of this house or half of anything, so I'm willing to wait this thing out for as long as it takes.”

“As long as it takes for what? Until she comes back to you?” Vivana asked. “Is that what you want? You want Geneva back?”

“I didn't say that.”

“You didn't have to.” Vivana looked around the room and wanted to scream. She hated coming over to visit him in the house he'd shared with Geneva, and the fact that some of her belongings were still there, and that he refused to box them up or put them out of sight, made her see red. “Don't you want to be rid of her so you can get on with your life . . . with our life?”

Johnny remained silent.

“Don't you love me?” Vivana asked.

“I had a hell of a long week, and all I want to do is relax tonight, but I can't because you keep pressing me about every little thing.”

“Pressing you?” Vivana said incredulously. “All I do is cater to you. I cut my hair and went natural because you said you wanted to see how I'd look without my weave. Then you said you didn't like that look and you thought I should do something to brighten my face, so I changed my hair color. Then you didn't like the color and wanted to see me with long hair again, so I got a blow-out, which you said made my hair look dry, and after that complaint I finally went back to the weave. All I do is try to please you, not press you. I try to be patient with you because every chance you get, you bring up our fight and how much it traumatized you. Well, guess what . . . it traumatized me, too!”

By now Vivana was so mad she was breathing hard. She wanted so badly to tell him about all the other things she'd done to please him, many of which she couldn't speak of for fear that he'd get upset. For instance, she'd tracked him for a month straight through the black cloud GPS tracking device she'd put on his car to make sure he was safe and wasn't getting himself into any unnecessary trouble. That was how she'd come to his rescue at the college the day he and Bernard had gotten into a fight. She'd taken him to the hospital right away, making sure he got the proper care he needed. When he'd asked her what she was doing there, she'd told him that she was interested in enrolling in a computer course that would add to her technical qualifications.

There were other things she'd sacrificed for him, too, but the one that she'd gone above and beyond for was giving up her precious Saturdays in order to sit in Geneva's chair and pretend to be someone she wasn't.

Vivana had wanted to see her competition with her own eyes. She wanted to know what was it about Geneva that had made Johnny want to be with her. It didn't take much time to find her and schedule an appointment. When she first saw Geneva, her initial reaction had been pure jealousy and she had to paint on a fake smile from the time she'd entered the salon until the time she'd left to cover up her envy of and disdain for the woman. Vivana hated that Geneva was slim, yet shapely in all the right places, with a naturally pretty face that looked beautiful once enhanced with makeup. And the woman's syrupy sweet disposition made her want to gag, especially when she refused to take payment for her first appointment.
What a sucker
, Vivana had thought.

But over time, Vivana's jealousy subsided when she realized that there was nothing interesting or exciting about Geneva. She was a run-of-the-mill hairdresser with an annoyingly cheery personality that got on her nerves. She never had any drama to talk about, and she was boring as hell. She could see why Johnny had grown tired of the dull woman, and it gave Vivana more reason to continue to fill his life with the kind of up-and-down thrills that kept things spicy between them. She knew that despite what Johnny said, he loved the heated arguments, occasional shoving, and borderline violent mood swings she engaged in. She knew he liked it because otherwise he would have grown bored with her like he did Geneva, and left her for someone who could spark his engine.

She was about to launch into another tirade when her cell phone rang. It was Geneva.
Why the hell is she calling me on a Friday night?
Vivana wondered. She'd stored Geneva's number under “Gynecologist” in her contact list, just in case Johnny ever went through her phone log as she occasionally did his. She didn't want to talk to Geneva in front of Johnny, so she pushed the button to ignore. She walked back to the kitchen and listened to Geneva's message.

Geneva wanted to reschedule Vivana's standing appointment tomorrow. Vivana huffed and growled under her breath. “I already told that silly bitch that I wasn't going to reschedule, so what makes her think I've changed my mind?”

“Who're you talking to?” Johnny asked, startling her so much she jumped.

“No one.”

Johnny looked at her with skepticism as he reached into the refrigerator for a beer. But if he felt anything was amiss, he didn't let on.

“I wasn't finished with my conversation with you,” she said, continuing their war of words. “When you couldn't find fault about my hair anymore you moved on to my weight, so I started a diet that made me cranky, tired, and about to lose my mind.”

“A diet?” Johnny said sarcastically.

“Yes, and what's that tone supposed to mean.”

Johnny smirked. “You know as well as I do that you haven't been dieting.”

“Yes I have.”

Johnny shook his head. “If that's the case, you need to stop because you're the only person I know who goes on a diet and gains weight. And besides, you act cranky, like you're about to lose your mind, on a regular basis.”

Vivana was furious. She'd noticed that despite the calories she'd been counting, a few pounds had crept up around her midsection and thighs. But she chalked it up to being big-boned, and the fact that like most women in their mid-thirties, her hormones, metabolism, and body were all changing. “You're a hurtful bastard,” she spat out at Johnny.

He shook his head and walked out the kitchen, but she followed him, fussing and cussing with each step.

“Cut it out, Vivana. I've had enough of your mouth and your insults,” he said. “If you don't stop right now . . .”

“What're you gonna do?” she challenged.

Just then his cell phone rang and she became even madder. “Who the hell is calling you this time of night?”

He ignored her and looked at his phone with surprise.

“Who is it?” she asked again.

Johnny turned his back and answered his phone without responding to her. She heard him say, “What's up . . . it's been a long time.” Then he took a long pause before mumbling something she couldn't hear into the phone. He paused again, apparently listening to the earful that the person on the other end had to say. “That's your problem, not mine,” she heard Johnny say in an angry tone. A few seconds went by before he said, “Fuck you!” and then pressed the end button.

Vivana watched as Johnny's chest heaved up and down with anger. The only thing that elicited emotion from him was money and sex. So he must have been talking to a woman who was obviously mad at him. “I can't believe you!” Vivana said. She was beside herself with the fact that he'd had the nerve to answer the phone and talk to another woman right in front of her.

“What the hell's your problem?” Johnny asked.

“Tell me who the fuck you were talking to.”

Johnny's eyes narrowed on hers. “Your phone just rang a few minutes ago, and I sat here and watched you switch it to ignore, and then walk into the kitchen right after that. When I came in to get a beer you'd obviously been talking to someone, but I let it go.”

“Don't try to turn this on me. I know you were talking to some bitch, now tell me who it was.”

Johnny put his beer down on the counter and grabbed his keys.

“Where do you think you're going!” Vivana screamed.

He didn't answer her as he walked out the door, so she ran out behind him.

“Answer me, muthafucka! Where the hell are you going!”

Johnny turned around and glared at her. “I've had it up to here with you!” he shouted.

Vivana saw one of his nosy-ass neighbors out walking her dog, and she wanted to curse her out and tell the woman to mind her own business. But right now she needed to handle Johnny. She walked up to him and slapped him, satisfying the urge she'd had all night. “You better bring your ass back in the house right now.”

Johnny lowered his head, and when he raised it, Vivana saw a look in his eyes that she'd never seen before. For the first time since she'd known Johnny she was scared, because she recognized the emotion lurking in his eyes, and she knew exactly what was going to happen next.

When Vivana came to a few minutes later, the nosy-ass neighbor she'd wanted to curse out was kneeling beside her. The woman held the side of Vivana's head, which felt as though it had been hit with a brick. She blinked hard and then closed her eyes after she saw that Johnny's truck was gone.

J
ohnny sped down the street and onto the highway, glancing into his rearview mirror every few seconds. He was on the lookout for blue lights and sirens after what had just happened. He'd known for months that it was only a matter of time before Vivana pushed him to what he'd just done. Tonight was the first time in his life that he'd ever raised his hand to strike a woman. After watching his mother get beaten down little by little at the hands of his father, he'd vowed not to ever physically harm a woman. He'd kept that promise until tonight, when Vivana slapped him.

Johnny steered his truck into the parking lot of the Hilton Hotel, turned off the engine, and sat for a few minutes. He was relieved that he hadn't been stopped by the police, which meant neither Vivana nor his neighbor, Mrs. Lehman, had placed a 911 call. He couldn't figure out why Vivana hadn't called, given that she probably wanted his head on a platter right now. But he knew Mrs. Lehman didn't call because, when it came down to it, the woman couldn't stand Vivana. Vivana had been nasty to Mrs. Lehman on several occasions and had even kicked at the old woman's poodle when he'd gone off his leash one day.

After Johnny settled into his room, he took a hot shower and lay under the sheets in the same t-shirt and boxer briefs he'd worn all day. “How did I get myself into this situation?” Johnny said aloud as he reflected on the last four months of his life.

There were many days when Johnny wished he could push a redo button, and if he could, he would go back to the day he'd met Vivana nine months ago. Since she'd entered his life he'd lost his wife, his best friend, and as of this very moment he stood in jeopardy of losing his real estate business. Amber was the kind of town where bad news traveled fast, and after his infamous fight with Bernard at the college, Johnny had been blackballed in the industry. It had taken some time for Johnny's face to heal, and given the way he'd looked, very few people felt safe touring houses led by a physically intimidating black man with a penchant toward violence and battle scars etched in his face. It didn't take long for his phone to stop ringing and his referrals to dry up, and it didn't matter that he now looked as good as new because the damage had been done months ago. A permanent die had been cast against him that followed him to this day.

What had made matters even worse was that for the first time in Johnny's entire life, women had avoided him. He'd had to go through surgeries, skin grafts, and several resurfacing procedures over the last four months. He'd had to wear bandages and walk around like a mummy half the time, and the other half was spent staying inside to avoid direct sunlight while the strong, topical medications he was prescribed ran their course. It wasn't until five days ago when his final bandages came off, revealing skin as smooth as a baby's bottom, did he feel a semblance of his old self. But he'd lost touch with everyone and everything he'd once known. Geneva and Bernard, along with clients and colleagues he'd known for years now, seemed like distant memories. No one asked about him and his phone never rang.

The only comfort and sense of control Johnny still had came from the monthly payments he received from a few women he'd been blackmailing. Johnny had routinely taken secret pictures and videos of his conquests during his cheating days, and now they were paying off. But even with their money and the money Vivana was giving him, he was still barely making ends meet, now that he was no longer rolling high in the real estate game.

Johnny flipped through the channels on TV until he found ESPN. Normally, he loved watching the game highlights and sports commentary, but tonight his mind was so muddled that he couldn't focus on the screen. All he could think about was the phone call he'd received tonight from the man who used to be his best friend.

When he saw Bernard's number appear on his phone, his initial reaction was surprise. He hadn't spoken to Bernard since that fateful day four months ago. Johnny had wanted to reach out to Bernard on several occasions, but he stopped himself short of calling each time he thought about the way Bernard had initiated the fight that drove a wedge between them. Johnny was hurt that his friend would do that to him. All over a woman.

After Johnny got over the initial shock of seeing Bernard's number, he became hopeful. In the back of his mind he'd been hoping that his friend would come to his senses and apologize so they could restore their friendship. But that didn't happen. Johnny shook his head when he thought about the real reason behind Bernard's phone call.

As soon as Johnny answered the phone Bernard started in.

“What's up,” Johnny said in a guarded tone. “It's been a long time.”

“I'll tell you what's up, muthafucka,” Bernard said, slurring his words. “You're what's up, you no-good piece of shit.”

“Whooa,” Johnny said. He could tell right away that Bernard was pissy drunk, and it surprised him because Bernard hadn't drank to the point of excess since his divorce several years ago. “I don't know what your problem is, but it's not with me.”

“Oh, yes it is,” Bernard said. Anger mixed with liquor dripped from his voice. “Because of you I lost my job, my house is in foreclosure, I started drinking again, and tonight Candace gave me back her engagement ring and said the wedding is off. If it hadn't been for your selfish, lyin' ass, I wouldn't be in this situation.”

Johnny had to pause for a moment to process the fact that Bernard was actually blaming him for his life falling apart. Johnny was pissed because he wasn't the one who'd thrown the first blow that had led to both their demises. He'd lost a lot behind Bernard's hot-headed, impulsive move. He was so mad he could barely think straight. And added to his frustration, Vivana was looming close by, practically breathing down his neck, demanding to know who he was talking to. He knew he had to end the conversation before he exploded. “That's your problem, not mine,” he told Bernard, ready to hang up the phone.

His comment enraged Bernard even more. And what he told Johnny next were words that made Johnny's blood run cold.

“That's where you're wrong,” Bernard growled. “My problems are your problems. You caused me to lose everything, and now you have to answer for that shit. I should've killed you when I had the chance. But don't worry, I know how to finish the job. You're a dead muthafucka.”

“Fuck you!” Johnny said, and then hung up the phone.

Bernard's last sentence kept repeating itself inside Johnny's head. Never did he think that his friendship with Bernard would come to this. But then again, there were many things in his life that Johnny never thought would happen, but they did.

Unable to concentrate on the TV, and too wound up to sleep, Johnny needed something to relax him. Vivana's drama, along with Bernard's call, had interrupted the ice-cold beer he'd been trying to drink, so he rose from the bed and redressed in the jeans and sweater he'd been wearing. He slipped on his black suede loafers, grabbed his wallet and room key, and headed downstairs to the hotel bar.

“This is more like it,” he said as he walked into the elegant looking space. He hadn't gone out much over the last four months, partly because he didn't want to take Vivana with him for worry of how she might act in public, but mostly because it had taken his face so long to heal. But now that he was back to his old self, he had an urge to dip his spoon into whatever tasty treat he could find. It didn't take him long to spot a delicious looking, long-legged beauty who was sitting at the bar all alone.

He knew that wherever there was a beautiful woman, there was likely a man nearby. He took a seat in a lounge chair, ordered a drink, and waited to see if she would remain alone. He noticed that her eyes never left the drink she was nursing and her head didn't turn toward the entrance. Both were signs that she wasn't awaiting company. Johnny finished his rum and Coke and walked over to where the woman was sitting at the bar.

“Is this seat taken?” he said, flashing his brilliant white teeth. He licked his lusciously full lips for emphasis and right away he knew he could have the attractive woman up in his room in a matter of minutes.

She smiled sheepishly. “I'm waiting for my girlfriend to arrive,” she said as she blushed.

He checked her ring finger and saw that it was bare. He thought it was rather odd that she wasn't dressed for a night out on the town. He knew that usually when women met up with their girlfriends at a bar this time of night, a trip to the club was next. “Oh, really?” he said smoothly. He was about to tell her to have a good night and be on his way when she smiled and engaged him.

“She texted me and said she's running late,” she offered.

“Does that mean I can keep you company until she arrives?”

The attractive woman shifted her slim hips in her seat and smiled. “Only if you buy me a drink.”

Johnny gladly obliged.

Her name was Gayle, and she was one of the best looking women Johnny had seen in a long time. Well-groomed, educated, and sophisticated refinement made her extra appealing to his senses. He'd been out of the game for a while, but Johnny was sure that this woman could help him fall right back into place.

He ordered Gayle another Moscato and another rum and Coke for himself. They sat at the bar and flirted shamelessly for another thirty minutes. “Are you sure your friend is still coming?” he asked.

“No, I'm not,” she answered. “She said she was on her way, but that was right before you came, and she hasn't texted or called me since.”

“Did you have plans to go somewhere after you meet up here?”

“Actually, no. We were going to meet here just to talk because it's close to where we both live, and as you can see it's private and the atmosphere is nice. My friend's had a long week, and she just needs to blow off some steam. That's why I'm surprised she hasn't gotten here by now.”

“I hope she's okay,” Johnny said, pretending to be concerned, but hoping her friend wouldn't show up so he could take Gayle to his room.

“I guess I should call her because it's not like her to say she's going to do something and not follow through.”

Johnny didn't want Gayle to call her friend because more than likely if her friend was troubled, that meant whatever drama she was going through, it was keeping her preoccupied at this very moment. His guess was that her problem involved a man. He swallowed the last of his drink and knew that it was time to seal the deal for a little late-night rendezvous. He slid close to Gayle and looked into her eyes. “I'm really feeling you,” he said to her in a slow and sexy voice. “Why don't we continue our conversation upstairs.”

Gayle looked a little hesitant. “I'm not sure about that. I, um, I just met you.”

“That's true, but as you can tell, I'm a gentleman, and trust me, I know how to make a lady feel like a woman.”

Gayle blushed and grinned with seduction as she ate up Johnny's words. But their cat and mouse flirting was abruptly interrupted when a woman walked up on them and glared at Johnny.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Candace said, looking at Johnny as if she'd just seen the devil. Then she turned to her friend, Gayle. “How do you know this low-down son of a bitch?”

Johnny couldn't believe his bad luck. Out of all the women in the world that Gayle could be friends with, Johnny was pissed that it had to be Candace. She was looking at him with a stare that told him there was going to be drama in the quiet, subdued bar.

“What's going on?” Gayle said, looking at her friend.

Candace placed her hand on her hip. “This is the sorry-ass friend that got Bernard fired and ruined our lives.”

Gayle gasped. “This is the Johnny that you've been talking about all these months?”

Candace nodded and pointed her finger at Johnny. “Bernard lost everything behind you, trying to defend my honor. He was so happy about his promotion, but because of you it was stripped away before he could enjoy it. His reputation went down the tubes, and after that, every job he applied for turned him down. The next thing I knew he started drinking, his house went into foreclosure, and now he's just a mess,” Candace rattled off.

Johnny tried to control his temper, but he was fed up. First Bernard had cursed him out and threatened him, and then Vivana had slapped him, coaxing him into committing an act that he never thought he would do. Now, Candace was coming dangerously close to pushing him over the edge. He knew he needed to leave immediately before things got out of hand. He motioned for the bartender to close his tab, and without another word he rose from his barstool.

“Oh, hell no,” Candace barked. “I know you're not gonna leave while I'm talking to you.”

Johnny lost it. “Bitch, you better move out of my way.”

The bartender stepped in. “Do I need to call hotel security?”

“You might,” Gayle said. She hopped off her barstool and stood beside Candace in solidarity.

“Fuck both of you,” Johnny said, “I'm leaving.”

The bartender stepped in again. “I don't want any trouble in here tonight. Ladies, let him through so he can leave.”

Candace lunged at Johnny, but Gayle held her back. “You ruined the only man I've ever loved,” Candace sobbed. “Bernard was doing so well. He was attending his counseling sessions regularly and he'd completely changed his life from the drunken sex addict he used to be. I was going to spend my life with him.”

“Sex addict?” Johnny said with surprise.

“Don't play stupid,” Candace yelled. “You knew about Bernard's struggles, and I knew you were jealous of how he'd turned his life around. It killed you that he and I were happy. I told him months ago to stay away from you because all you were going to do was bring him down. And that's exactly what you did.