Secret Indiscretions (20 page)

“Sometimes men say and do things that make no sense, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. He might not know how to express the fact that he doesn't want you to leave him, but trust me, he doesn't.”

Geneva shook her head. “I know my husband. He's not coming around.”

Samuel nodded. “Geneva, I'm a man, and I'm telling you from a male perspective, even though your husband's behavior has been foul and he's neglected you, he doesn't want to lose you. You never miss water until it's gone, and a thirsty person will do whatever they need to in order to get a sip.”

“I'll take that under consideration.”

“I want you to be careful.”

Geneva smiled. “I will be, and thank you, Samuel. I really appreciate you coming out to see me. When I called, I really didn't expect you to be able to talk freely, let alone come meet with me in the middle of the night. Was your wife upset when you left the house?”

Samuel placed his fork on his empty plate. “Not at all. As a matter of fact she probably doesn't even know I'm gone.”

Samuel went on to tell Geneva about what had transpired between him and Vivana tonight.

“Wow,” Geneva said. “We've both had a crazy night.”

“Yes we have.”

“Now I'm going to give you the same advice you just gave me. Be careful because you never know what lengths a woman will go to once the reality sets in that she's lost a good man, especially if she's as erratic as you've said your wife is.”

Samuel had to admit that Geneva was right. “Point taken. I've learned that you can't put anything past anyone, and that's why I asked if you think your husband might try to come by your friend's house. You never know what a person is capable of until they're pushed.”

“I agree with you. But Johnny's ego is much too big to think beyond himself. I truly believe the only reason he doesn't want me to leave him is because of the way it'll look. He doesn't want anyone to think I rejected him . . . He couldn't handle that. It's more about his image than it is about trying to save our marriage. The love between us disappeared a long time ago.”

“I told my wife that very thing tonight.”

Geneva looked down at the cold food on her plate and then back up at Samuel. “Do you feel a little sad that she didn't try to put up a fight to save your marriage?”

“No, not at all. Do you feel sad that your husband didn't?”

“No, I don't.”

Samuel leaned back against his seat. “I think when you get to the point that you're finally fed up, there's nothing and no one that can make you change your mind about what you need to do.”

Over the next two hours, Samuel and Geneva's conversation turned from talking about their turbulent marriages to talking about their futures, their hopes, and their dreams.

“I've always wanted to be a father,” Samuel confessed. “I just assumed when I married my wife that she wanted kids like I did, especially knowing the profession I'm in. But that was a mistake.”

Geneva looked closely into his eyes. “It's amazing how similar our stories are. I assumed the same thing about my husband. I thought that because he never made any objections when I talked about wanting children, he wanted a family, too. But as the years went on, I came to realize that his silence wasn't agreement, it was avoidance, and that in fact he just didn't care.”

“It's not too late for you to have children, you know.”

“Yes.” Geneva smiled. “I know. And the same goes for you.”

They let a comfortable silence lay over them as they each thought about how free their future was going to be, and the possibilities that lay ahead. They discovered that they had a lot in common. They both loved the great outdoors. They were both avid readers. They both enjoyed classical music, jazz, and old school hip hop. They both loved Italian food, and their favorite dessert was pound cake. And they both wanted children and a traditional family, sooner rather than later.

Although they were enjoying the evening and could have easily sat in their booth until the sun came up, reality forced their hands. It was nearly two in the morning. Samuel had to go to work in a few hours and so did Geneva.

After Samuel paid their bill, he drove Geneva back to her car where she was parked in front of 7-Eleven. He was still concerned about her safety, so he asked her if he could follow her to her friend's house to make sure she arrived safely. He didn't get out to walk her to the door because she'd asked him not to. “I'm taking your advice,” she'd said, “in the off chance that Johnny shows up, I don't want him to see you walking me to the door.”

Samuel watched from his car as Geneva stood on her friend's front porch and rang the bell. When the door opened, he initially thought the person inside was a man; the height and build wasn't consistent with that of a woman. Samuel could tell that Geneva said something to her friend about him because the boy-shaped woman smiled and waved in his direction. He waved back as Geneva and her friend closed the door, disappearing inside.

Reluctantly, Samuel drove back home. Along the way he replayed his evening in his mind, trying to make sense of all the twists, dips, and turns that had happened in the span of the time since he'd left work to now.

He was exhausted, but he was also energized by the conversation he'd had with Geneva. He had to laugh about how ironic life seemed to be. Last week after meeting her for the first time, he'd felt silly for constantly thinking about a woman he barely knew. Then this morning after talking to Geneva in the parking lot he knew there was a spark that had developed between them, and now, after spending even more time with her and learning more about her, he realized that his initial feelings weren't silly at all. This felt right, like they were supposed to be together, and they were supposed to meet at this pivotal moment in their lives.

After Samuel peeled out of his clothes and lay down in bed, his mind was still on Geneva. They'd agreed to have dinner this Saturday, and he was already counting down the days. He hoped that between his busy schedule and the nightly chats he anticipated they'd have, the week would go by fast.

“S
he left,” Johnny said to Bernard. “She walked out in the middle of the night and didn't even say goodbye.” Johnny was sitting in a chair on the other side of Bernard's metal, L-shaped desk, drinking a cup of coffee that Bernard's secretary had gotten for him. “I've never seen Geneva act this way. She was cold, like she didn't care.”

“What do you expect?” Bernard said. “The lie you told her was just as bad as how you look, maybe even a little worse, which is saying a lot.”

“Thanks for the support.”

Bernard shook his head. “I've said it before and I'll say it again. I love you like a brother, but I can't support your mess, and I wouldn't be a good friend if I did.”

“Man, I don't need to hear all that right now.”

Bernard leaned forward in his chair. “Yes you do.”

“I don't need to be kicked when I'm down.”

“That's not what I'm doing. I'm trying to help you.”

Johnny breathed hard. “Then help me fix this.”

“I hate to tell you this, but Geneva's not coming back. She's gonna divorce you.”

Johnny placed his coffee cup on the edge of Bernard's desk. “No she's not. She loves me. You even said so yourself.”

“Yeah, I did. But that was before you pushed her to the point of no return. Remember what I told you about how women want honesty? Well, you destroyed that last night, and now there's no way Geneva's going to forgive you.”

Johnny shook his head. “Yes she will. This is just a rough patch we're going through. She just needs a little time, but she'll come around, and that's where you step in.”

“What do you mean?” Bernard asked with skepticism.

“Geneva likes you, and she'll listen to you. I need you to talk to her, man. Convince her that I've changed . . . like you have,” Johnny said in a low voice.

“You must be out of your mind.”

“Bernard, you're my boy. I wouldn't ask you to do this unless I felt it was necessary.”

Bernard shook his head. “You don't deserve Geneva.”

“What?”

“You're a lyin' cheat. You don't have a drop of integrity in your body. You don't know how to be honest, and you have no self-control. You need to stop doggin' your wife, let her go, and get some help.”

Johnny couldn't believe the insults his friend had just hurled at him. “Man, fuck you!”

“Fuck you!” Bernard shot back. “I'm tryin' to help your stupid ass.”

“If you really wanted to help me, you'd stop judging me and agree to speak to Geneva. Whenever you've asked me to do something for you I've always said yes. Now that the shoe is on the other foot all you can do is talk down to me because I still have my balls and you don't.”

Bernard shook his head again. “You still don't get it.”

“No, I get it, all right. You're punkin' out on me,” Johnny said with a huff. “We're supposed to be boys.”

“No, we're supposed to be men. And it's time that you started acting like one.”

Johnny stood up. “You seem to have forgotten that when Suzanne left your ass I tried to work that shit out for you. I lied and covered for you.”

“Which dug me into a deeper hole. What you should've done was talk to me like I'm talking to you. But you were just as blind as I was, and unfortunately, you still are.”

“Whatever.”

“I told you, the road you're takin' is only gonna lead you to trouble.”

“Oh, so now you're a philosopher and shit.” Johnny was getting heated and his voice was rising. He looked at the campus officer who'd just passed by Bernard's door. Johnny had visited Bernard's office many times, but today he'd been greeted with stares and whispers when the campus police officers as well as a few admins saw the damage to his face. He wished Bernard's office wasn't in the middle of the campus security and police department, and now that his friend had been elevated to director status, all eyes were on him, making Johnny's situation even more uncomfortable.

“Calm the fuck down,” Bernard hissed, lowering his voice as he glanced out his door. “Don't get mad at me. You're the one who came here to my job this morning, without calling me, wanting to cry on my shoulder. You brought your bullshit to my doorstep last night and now you're bringing it to my job, and that ain't cool.”

“I can't count how many times you showed up at my office with your problems.”

“You work for yourself, there's no one in your office but you. You don't have nosy coworkers lurking outside your door. This is my place of business.”

Johnny knew that Bernard was right, but he was so distraught that his emotions were running up and down. For the first time in his life he felt as though he had absolutely no control over what was happening to him. He was used to Geneva begging him for his time and attention. He was used to doing what he wanted, when he wanted, but now everything had changed and he didn't know how to handle it. He calmed himself and sat back down in the uncomfortable office chair in front of Bernard's desk. “My bad,” he said. “I'm not tryin' to wreck your work flow. I just don't know what to do and you're the only friend I've got who I trust to help me.”

“Brother, you're gonna have to help yourself.”

“So it's like that?”

Bernard let out a long exasperated sigh. “Stop it with the pity party, man. You brought this on yourself. You need to let Geneva go and get some help.”

Johnny raised his brow. “So now you think I'm crazy.”

“I think you need help, and I can say that because I used to be just like you. My life was a mess, just like yours. I was out of control and I had to do something. After I started counseling . . .”

“There you go with that again . . .”

“It helped and I got better. If it hadn't been for the counseling and therapy I got, I don't know what my life would be like right now, and I know I definitely wouldn't have a good woman like Candace by my side.”

Johnny had stomached a lot of things that Bernard had said, but he couldn't listen to another self-righteous word his friend had to say. “Candace? That bitch is the reason why you're acting like a punk.”

Bernard froze. “What did you just say?”

“You heard me. She's the one with the balls in your relationship. That bitch—”

Johnny couldn't get the rest out because in an unexpected move, Bernard jumped up from his chair, raced around his desk, and punched Johnny in his face, landing a hard blow to the good side of his jaw.

When Johnny felt the force of Bernard's fist connect with his face, a bright burst of pain surged through his mouth. Within seconds the two men were exchanging blows that turned into an all-out brawl. They tumbled over the chair that Johnny had been sitting in, and when Johnny hit Bernard in the stomach, Bernard threw him across his desk, sending Johnny and the computer monitor crashing to the floor.

Even the scream of Bernard's frightened secretary didn't stop the two men from fighting. It took three campus police officers to break the chokehold that Bernard had around Johnny's already mauled neck. Once the officers were finally able to separate the two men, it looked as if a tornado had swept through Bernard's office.

Johnny couldn't believe what had just happened. He felt as though he'd hallucinated a fight scene between him and his best friend, but he knew it was real when he looked across the room and saw that Bernard's lip had been split open and he was holding his hand in an awkward position, as if it was broken.

“This can't be happening,” Johnny whispered. He panted hard, trying to catch his breath as a new wave of pain engulfed his body. The cuts to his face that he'd suffered last night had begun to bleed again, commingling with new injuries that included a bloody nose. A large gash accompanied a knot on his forehead, along with a black eye, another blow to his jaw, and soreness that felt much like broken ribs. Johnny's pain was so great he could barely move or understand what the campus officers were saying to him. All Johnny could think about was his pain, and the fact that his best friend had attacked him, all because Johnny had told the truth about Bernard's pushy fiancée.

Johnny looked across the room at Bernard and the man he saw was someone he didn't even recognize. Bernard glared at him with what Johnny could see was something close to hate. He couldn't believe that all this happened because he had the balls to tell the truth about the weak person Bernard had become. “You fucked over our friendship,” Johnny said. “And for what . . . a piece of ass?”

Bernard had to be restrained by the officers. “You say one more word about her and I'll kill you,” Bernard threatened. “I swear I will. You better get out of here while you still can.”

“Bernard, do you want us to take care of this?” one of the officers said.

Bernard shook his head. “Don't waste your time. Let him go. But get him out of here before I do something I'll regret.”