Secret Heart (26 page)

“
You must
be absolutely certain,” he said. “From what you’ve told me about
Chantal, I think you do realize what the act you are contemplating
means.”

“
Yes. I
want you, Roarke. You, and no one else. Ever.”

She smiled at him, a little tremulously to be
sure, but it was a smile all the same. He tried to find words to
tell her what she meant to him.

“
You
offer me a great gift,” he began.

“
Do,
please, stop talking, and thinking, and equivocating,” she said.
“That is what Chantal and Garit did. They considered her position
and his, their reputations, her inheritance and his duties as
emissary for King Audemer. When at last they made their decision,
they were too late.”

“
You
cannot give yourself to me because you believe Chantal and Garit
made a mistake,” Roarke said.

In the
next instant he decided he was a complete fool. He had come into
his chamber still half aroused by the kisses they had shared
earlier that evening. Like the honest knight he tried to be, he’d
intended to see that Jenia had whatever she required for her
comfort, then he’d leave her and take his longings to the great
hall for yet another sleepless night spent thinking of her. Now the
beautiful, daring enchantress who had captured his heart declared
that the one thing she needed for her comfort was his intimate
embrace.

He asked
himself why he was hesitating, but he knew the answer to his own
question. It was because he
was
an honest knight, who cared deeply about his lady.
The sensible part of his mind, the part that made him so valuable
to King Henryk, sifted rapidly through all the reasons why he ought
to depart from Jenia at once, before this went any further. He knew
he was perilously close to succumbing to temptation.

Then
Jenia laid a hand on his cheek and all reason, all concerns about
hurting her, or leaving her to bear his child alone if he were to
die, vanished along with any thought of the morrow. He had lived
too long with his heart mired in cold darkness. Jenia was warmth
and golden sunshine, sweet tenderness and stalwart strength,
everything he had ever wanted in a mate and feared he’d never find.
At her touch the happiness he had experienced with her earlier
welled up again in his heart, leaving him unable to think like a
sensible man. The only thoughts to cross his fevered mind were
questions about how best to please her.

He caught her close and kissed her sweet
mouth until she sighed and opened her lips to him. Her fingers
wound through his hair and her breasts were crushed against his
chest.

With a groan Roarke broke off the kiss and
swept her up into his arms to carry her to his bed.

“
It’s too
narrow,” he muttered, setting her down on the rough
blanket.

“
No
matter. We are both slender.” She looked at him with sudden
shyness. “You will have to show me what to do.”

“
It will
be my pleasure.” His hands worked quickly at the laces on either
side of the waistline of her gown, loosening them until he could
lift the heavy green material up and over her head. Her hair
floated about her like a molten cloud. Roarke gathered a fistful,
half expecting it to singe his hands. The thick waves flowed
through his fingers and he lifted those silken tresses to his
lips.

When he
slid the top of her shift over her shoulder to free one perfectly
formed breast, Jenia gasped and then pushed herself into his palm.
Roarke saw her eyelids close and her face grow intent as she
savored the unfamiliar sensation of a man’s hand on her bare flesh.
Her cry of surprise when he took her nipple into his mouth sent
heat boiling through him to center in his loins. Were she not a
virgin, he’d have taken her then, so strong was his need of her.
But this was Jenia, not some loose and thoroughly experienced
noblewoman of the court, and not a whore paid to satisfy his
lust.

He
finished undressing her slowly, and as he did his wonder increased.
He had seen Jenia in full court dress looking more beautiful than
any woman should be. He’d seen her half covered in sand, with her
glorious hair in damp tangles, wearing only a torn shift as she
lied and schemed for her dead cousin’s sake.

Now, at last, at long last, she lay naked on
his bed, the true Jenia revealed for his adoration, just as he had
imagined her and he discovered that the reality far outshone his
overheated daydreams.

The woman he gathered into his arms was his
love. Roarke acknowledged that searing truth and set himself to
provide her with the greatest pleasure possible, so when the
inevitable moment of pain came she would be so eager for him that
the discomfort would scarcely matter to her.

For her
part, Jenia had never dreamed that a woman could experience such
intense heat without her body bursting into flames. Roarke’s
caresses were unrelenting, his kisses overpowering, and she gloried
in them. Her lips felt bruised, her mouth invaded, and her breasts
were tingling, yet she welcomed everything he did to
her.

Gradually, almost without her noticing
because she was so wrapped in delight, his interest and the
caresses and kisses that accompanied it, moved lower. He stroked
her feet and ankles, then her calves. Immediately, her pleasure
began to shift and intensify in response. She smiled when he kissed
each knee and uttered a startled little scream when his lips and
tongue moved upward to her inner thighs. Soon he delved farther
still, until his fingers touched the most secret part of her,
stroking and pressing exactly where she wanted to be touched.

“
Roarke!”
She was embarrassed for a moment, sensing that she was moist down
there. How could she not be damp, with such liquid warmth pouring
through that part of her body?

Roarke
spread her thighs and knelt between them. Jenia frowned, puzzled to
see that he had removed all of his clothing and she hadn’t noticed.
He was naked now, and very manly, very large and stiff. Though
untried in such matters, she wasn’t completely ignorant. She did
understand what he was about to do. She wanted to ask him how he
planned to fit their bodies together when he was such a giant, but
suddenly she couldn’t speak. She simply watched as he reached down
and settled himself against her. That part of him felt wonderful
resting just there, where she needed him to be. He seemed to know
exactly where and how to exert the pressure that relieved the
emptiness that was making her writhe with a longing such as she had
never known before.

The touch of his skin on hers sent fresh
tremors of delight coursing through her. But suddenly she found
that neither the firm yet gentle pressure between her thighs, nor
the warmth of his skin was enough. She needed more.

Before she could ask Roarke to help her ease
the new burning that flared wherever their bodies met, he caught
her lips in a passionate kiss that threatened to undo her
completely. Even as his tongue plunged into her mouth, she became
aware that the hard shaft of his manhood had begun to push slowly
and relentlessly into her. When he met a barrier that she could
feel and knew he must be aware of, too, he did not stop, but kept
on pushing.

His mouth
was still on hers, hushing her cry as he broke through the barrier,
and then Roarke reached the very core of her being. He was embedded
so deeply, and his presence was so painful that for a moment she
could not breathe. He was stretching her until she feared he would
rend her in two, yet it was so
right,
so oddly wonderful.

“
Jenia?”
He lifted his head to look at her, but otherwise he was holding
himself perfectly, carefully, still. He spoke through gritted
teeth. “I am sorry to hurt you. It couldn’t be helped.”

“
I
understand. Really, I do. It’s just that you are so huge.” Though
she had known what would happen, she hadn’t fully realized until
that moment just how terribly intimate a man’s embrace would be.
She was glad it was Roarke who possessed her body and not some
person she loathed. The thought of anyone else doing
this
to her was
unbearable. She shivered against him, and a new need assailed her.
“Would you mind if I move a little? You aren’t hurting me any
longer, but you feel so very tight.”

She
couldn’t wait for his answer. She had to move. Wriggling a bit did
seem to help, though she couldn’t say she felt comfortable, not
with Roarke on top of her, impaling her with his heat and his iron
hard strength.

“
Do
whatever you like,” he said, still in that same taut, carefully
controlled voice, still with his face hard and set. He hadn’t moved
at all.

“
Is this
uncomfortable for you, too?” she asked.

“
I can
bear it,” he said, his mouth curving in the faintest of smiles. “I
know the discomfort won’t last much longer.”

Jenia wriggled once more, shifting her
position, and then, because she yearned to be even closer to him,
she tried lifting her hips. With her movement Roarke plunged a
little deeper into her and she heard him catch his breath.

“
Is that
better?” she asked, trying the motion again.

“
You have
no idea how much better.”

Despite his claim she sensed his growing need
for more than she was providing. Before she could ask what he
wanted of her, he spoke again.

“
Jenia,
forgive me for what I am going to do, but I simply cannot wait. I
have wanted you for too long.”

“
Forgive
you?” She wondered for a moment if he was about to hurt her again.
He withdrew almost completely, then plunged back into her. Though
at his determined stroke she experienced a slight stinging, she
quickly discovered that this new part of lovemaking was infinitely
more pleasant than his initial entry had been.

Roarke’s
efforts became even more vigorous until Jenia found that she was
moving, too, in response to his repeated deep thrusts. She was
growing steadily warmer and a peculiar sensation was coiling deep
within her, tightening and tightening. Roarke’s hand slid down
between them to stroke an intensely sensitive spot. The coil
tightened one last time to an excruciating tension before it
suddenly flew apart.

She
barely heard Roarke’s cry of release, for she was too caught up in
the amazing convulsions rolling through her body to be aware of
anything except his intimate presence inside her and the pressure
of his skin against her from bosom to toes when he collapsed atop
her.

She did not know, and certainly did not care,
how much time passed before Roarke moved again and gently,
carefully, disengaged himself from her. It could have been years,
or only moments. All she knew was that after he left her, she felt
bereft, until he slipped an arm beneath her shoulders and pulled
her close to rest against his side. His lips brushed her forehead
and then her mouth.

“
Jenia.”
His voice was low and tender, and his arm held her even more
tightly.

“
I never
dreamed it would be so beautiful,” she murmured.

“
Even
though I hurt you?”

“
Only for
a moment. I scarcely remember it now. What happened afterward was
far more important.”

“
I am
glad. Can you sleep now?” he asked with a hint of laughter in his
voice.

“
Only if
you stay with me,” she responded, sensing that he was about to rise
and head for the great hall to spend the rest of the night there as
he had originally intended. She repeated the words she had said
earlier. “Please don’t go, Roarke.”

“
If Elwin
comes looking for me,” he began.

“
Swear
him to silence. A squire is obligated to obey his master’s
commands.” Jenia smothered a yawn. She was so relaxed, so contented
that she could not bear the thought of moving. All she wanted was
to stay where she was, in Roarke’s arms, until morning
arrived.

“
If I
stay, I will surely make love to you again,” Roarke warned. “You
may find that you are too sore to ride tomorrow.”

“
No, I
won’t.” The discussion proceeded no further, for Jenia fell asleep,
suddenly and completely.

She
wakened later to see the candle flickering as the last of the
tallow stub burned low. But it didn’t matter, for Roarke was
kissing her and caressing her once more and her response was as
eager as it had been the first time.

Because
of Walderon’s frequent disparaging criticisms of her, Jenia had
never believed she was attractive to men, but Roarke made her feel
beautiful. He freed something deep inside her, an eagerness for
life that she had kept buried while she sought justice for Chantal.
Now she had three good men to help her in her new quest, and King
Henryk to back their efforts. With Roarke, she was no longer
alone.

Then she
stopped thinking, because Roarke was inside her again and they were
soaring together to their sweet climax. When the candle finally
died Jenia noticed it, but she didn’t care. She needed no
artificial light. She had her hands and her mouth and Roarke’s
wonderful body to guide her into the skies and then to bring her
safely home again.

The Quest Fulfilled

Thury Castle