Second Chances (25 page)

  “
Here I am staring at your perfection

  In my arms, so beautiful

  The sky is getting bright, the stars are burning out

  Somebody slow it down
.”

I feel like a high school kid at prom singing in her ear while we dance, but I don't care, those words are written for us and I want her to know how amazing that night had been for me. That was a turning point in my life. I realized the difference between just having sex with someone I cared nothing for and what it was like to make love to the person that I was in love with. When the song ends, she steps back and sure enough there are tears running down her cheeks.
“Thank you,” she says so softly I almost don't hear her as she grabs Brynn by the hand and takes off for the ladies' room. I stand there hoping that those had been happy tears. She'd said thank you so I hold out some kind of hope.

“Looks like your little girl-next-door didn't take off on you like I thought,” a voice I had hoped to never hear again speaks from behind me. I spin around face to face with Lexi. Her hair looks artificial somehow, her lips are too full of collagen, her eyes now look like pure evil, and I know that her boobs are fake. She's nothing that I'm interested in and I feel sick to realize that I had been with her at all. I want to haul her out the door and lock it behind her.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I snap, glancing over my shoulder. The last thing I want is for Haylee to see me talking to Lexi. 

She just smiles like the Cheshire cat and flips her bottle-blond hair over her shoulder. “I was just sitting at the bar over there minding my own business when you and your jolly gang of hillbillies walked in.”

“You expect me to believe that you just happened to be at the same club we end up in? I'm not stupid, Lexi! What are you up to? Look, I don't care. You and me,” I say gesturing between us, “We're done! Have been for a long time now and I made that perfectly clear when I left you back in California. If I see you anywhere near Haylee I will wrap my hands around your throat!”

“Ooooo, promises, promises, Chase,” she coos and turns to walk back over to the bar. I am panting I am so furious. There is no way this night is going to end well, and I just want to get my friends out of here. I don't have the foggiest idea what Lexi is up to. I walk back over to the table where Max and his 'friend' are now sitting and making out. I shoot a quick glance over at Lexi to make sure she hasn't doubled back to the ladies' room after Haylee and Brynn.

She's still there, and Haylee and Brynn are dodging through bodies to get back to the table. Griff returns with another tray of shots and I sure need one!

“You okay?” I mouth to Haylee, trying not to draw anyone else's attention to her. She left me crying, so I have to make sure. She nods and flashes me what seems like a plastic smile. She seems to be running so hot and cold tonight. Her eyes are slightly red, but other than that you'd never know she'd been crying. It certainly hadn't been my intention to make her cry. We all toss back the next round of shots and this time I welcome the burn and numbness. 

“This is fun! All of us back together again!” Brynn smiles and slings her arms over my and Haylee's shoulders. Griff hoots his response and another song begins to play. I know this one and I look right at Haylee. This is eerie. It's called 'Second Chance' by Shinedown, and it's the song that I always used to say was Haylee's song because her name was in it.  

The four of us all packed into Griff's parents' BMW on the way to get ice cream in town the day that Griff had gotten his license. The windows were all rolled down and the stereo was cranked up. Shinedown came on the radio and I'd asked Brynn, who was sitting up front with Griff, to turn it up even louder. 

I tossed my arm across Haylee's petite shoulders and started to sing along to the radio. She had smelled like strawberries and suntan lotion and her hair blowing across my arms was so soft. We'd all started to sing along and Haylee leaned in even closer, smiling at me as she sang.

Now the song means even more to us. The lyrics talk about how 'sometimes goodbye is a second chance.' Haylee looks up at me and I see her cheeks get pink. She can't help but smile at me and I think I see the moment of realization as she makes the connection with our lives now to the lyrics. It's more than just her name now.

I watch enchanted as Haylee and Brynn lean close together and sing:

  “
I've done the best I can, to make them realize

  This is my life

  I hope they understand

  I'm not angry, I'm just saying . . .

  Sometimes goodbye is a second chance . . .

Please don't cry one tear for me; I'm not afraid of

What I have to say; This is my one and only voice

So listen close, it's only for today
”

They are literally screaming over all the noise around them for the last part:

“
I just saw Halley's comet
. . .”

Haylee and I had to say goodbye to each other four years ago without having the chance to tell the other how we really felt. A month ago, we'd been given a second chance and I want to always be sure and make the very most of that. Hell, I've even been given a second chance at life after surviving my overdose. When the girls finish singing, I catch Haylee looking over in Lexi's direction. I hate that she has to even look at her.

I see Brynn lean in and whisper something to Haylee and then she walks away in the direction of the bathrooms again. I hate having to keep track of all of my friends like I am, but I want to spare them an encounter with Lexi if at all possible. At the same time, I don't want Haylee to catch me glancing over at Lexi because she will assume something completely different. 

Griff flags down our waitress for another round of drinks. I'm relieved it isn't more shots. Haylee is so tiny and I can't imagine her tolerance is too high. Her cheeks are already stained pink and her eyes look slightly glassy. The way she looks right now, so sweet and sultry, I just want to kiss her senseless.  

Brynn returns then and winks at Haylee. My stomach churns. What the hell are those two up to, and do I really want to know?

“So did Haylee tell you that she finally quit dance?” Brynn asks looking at me. I look at Haylee and she takes a long pull from her drink. 

“I haven't exactly had a lot of time to talk to him,” she says, and I flinch inwardly at this. It's because of all the drama with Lexi, which is my fault. “I finally had a long talk with Mom after she got really bad and she's seeing a counselor again. She's doing so much better. I told her about wakeboarding, so I don't have to sneak around to do that anymore, and I also told her that I didn't like dance anymore and she was surprisingly okay with everything,” she explains and I'm proud of her. She's been putting that talk off for a long time now and it has helped not just her, but her mom as well.

Another song starts up and I wouldn't have even paid any attention to it, but Brynn and Haylee are exchanging what they think are secretive glances right as it begins. I take a second to peek back at Lexi and she has moved slightly closer, but is still over at the bar. Her demon eyes are trained right this way. 

The song that begins is 'Picture' by Kid Rock. It's pretty damn loud in here but I can still hear the words of the song clearly, 

“
Livin' my life in a slow hell, different girl every night at the hotel

I ain't seen the sun shine in three damn days

Been fueling up on cocaine and whiskey
. . .”

My heart sinks down to my toes. I feel hollow inside. I know then that Brynn requested this song, probably on Haylee's behalf. She really is messing with me and it feels like someone has poured acid down my throat. What's with the hot and cold act then? What's she trying to prove? I told her those things about my past so that we might have a second chance with no secrets and it hurts terribly to realize that she is throwing that back at me.

“
Wish I had a good girl to miss me; Lord I wonder if I'll ever change my ways

I put your picture away; sat down and cried today

I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her.
. .”

I pin Haylee with a glare and as soon as my eyes catch hers, she flicks them away. What's she trying to say to me? It sounds like she doesn't believe me based on the words in this song, but then, she'd been smiling at me, she'd kissed me, she'd danced with me. I don't understand and I want desperately to talk to her. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I can question this all night long, but until I can talk to her, I'll just be left wondering and doubting everything. Iam so damn confused.

I am so incredibly uncomfortable. I feel like I'm an actress in some sick, twisted play, except this is my real life.

Brynn has certainly gotten the reaction she wanted from Chase when he first saw me. He stared at me so long I felt like he might burn holes right through me with his eyes. For a few seconds I felt unbelievably beautiful and special. I wish I felt the way I do when he is seeing me for longer, but I don't. I am putting on an act. I'm playing the part of the confident, sexy girlfriend, and I have caught Lexi looking at me and at Chase more times than I'd like to count. I'm here tonight with advice from Brynn that I need to play Lexi and make her realize that Chase and I are still going strong despite her efforts. As a result though, I'm having to play Chase as well. I don't feel good about this. However, I feel like he lied to me about the girls and drugs being in the past so he will have to deal with it.

I hoped that the shots we did would settle my nerves some, but the first two haven't yet. I'm sipping another drink, praying for that warm oblivion that is just finally beginning to sink into my bones. 

  That dance with Chase just about ripped me apart. I hadn't expected that song. I heard 'Daylight' shortly after he left as well, and I had literally broken down at work and hid out in the bathroom until I calmed down. What are the chances that we danced to that very song tonight, that he thought about the same night when he heard it? When he sang the lyrics in my ear, I am pretty sure I would just bow down and forgive him for anything he'd ever done to hurt me. Instead I cried all over his shirt and felt like a fool.

God, he looks amazing tonight. I stand motionless just drinking him in. He's wearing jeans, hanging low on his narrow waist and a button-down shirt in blue and white. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows revealing his tan, muscular forearms. His eyes are just so, I don't know. . .I'd once heard my mom refer to some actor on TV's eyes as 'bedroom eyes' and that's how I see Chases'. His hair is still very much the boy out in the water all day and it makes me smile. His brown locks hang low, almost over those soul-stealing eyes of his, and the rich, brown color of it begs me to run my fingers through it. He is downright lickable. I'm a ping-pong ball being hit back and forth between being angry with Chase on one side and loving him on the other. 

I find myself looking at him and altogether forgetting why I'm upset. This is not good. Being here with Lexi is simply painful. I can't look at her without picturing her with Chase, or seeing that kiss that I witnessed, and I want nothing more than to forget all of that. 

When I walk over and kiss Chase on the cheek, I am putting on a show for Lexi. Brynn and I saw her come in and had it all planned out, but I feel terrible, not for Lexi of course, but for Chase. His face lights up and I see a weight lift from his shoulders, but it breaks me apart because I'm acting! I don't even know what is real anymore.

Then after those two songs play that hit home for us, it gives Brynn the idea to try to send him a message through a song. That way Lexi won't have a clue what's really going on. I go along with it, even choosing a song, but once that Kid Rock tune starts, the words are like stones being thrown at him and I see the realization and disappointment on his face. He looks right at me with a disbelieving stare and I look away, embarrassed by my childishness. No matter how he has hurt me, it's killing me to try and hurt him in return. 

Chase stands up from his stool then and walks slowly around behind me and I tense. . . and wait. . . for something, but he's saying something to Griff on the other side of me instead. I am just starting to relax again when I suddenly feel his warmth all along the bare skin of my back. He isn't touching me at all, but I can still feel his presence and smell the scent of him, the scent that is his alone. I jump slightly when the heat of his breath is suddenly very close to my ear. “I know what you're doing, Hayles,” his voice whispers along my ear, down my neck, down to my breasts, and I feel chill bumps break out all along my skin.

“We're gonna go play pool,” he says from his full height in a much stronger voice to the table and not just me. I'm stunned as he and Griff walk past Lexi and over to the pool tables. I watch as Lexi's eyes eat him up as he walks past, but he never turns his head in her direction.

“Oh my God, that was even better than I could have expected!” Brynn says, all hyped up beside me. “She is just seething inside right now! And the look on that poor boy's face when you walked up to him. . .priceless! You could totally tell that our song choice got to him too. I give you props, Cuz!” she beams, holding her glass up to toast with mine. I don't feel like celebrating anything, but I clink glasses with her and take a long sip.

“Well, we need to get over there to watch the boys before Bitch Barbie decides to,” Brynn says, standing up with her drink in her hand. “Save our table, Max,” she calls over her shoulder to Max, who hasn't even come up for air while sucking face with his girl. I don't think they'll be moving any time soon.

We stop by the bar for another drink and Brynn naturally chooses a spot to squeeze in very close to Lexi. My nerves are like a severed live wire jumping and spitting into the air. As we wait for our drinks, Lexi stands up and comes over right in front of me. “Hello again, Haylee!” she smiles, her perfect overly white teeth flashing as though she is actually glad to see me. “I saw you yesterday up in the window watching Chase and I. I'm really sorry that you had to see that. But you should probably know that there was that and a lot more while he was in California this last month. I give him a week here before he's bored to tears and comes crawling back.” I can't help the way my stomach plummets at her words. It isn't as though I haven't already had this thought, but hearing her say it twists the knife already buried in my gut.

“You're a jealous, manipulative bitch, Lexi, and I don't believe a word you say.” I tell her very matter of factly, and I watch as Brynn, holding both of our drinks, raise them up over the head of the poor guy sitting beside her. As she brings her arms back down, her left elbow 'accidently' clips the guy's shoulder, spilling that drink all down Lexi's front.

Lexi gasps and steps back, looking down at the red liquid coating the entire front of her yellow dress. I'm stunned and just gape at the mess Lexi is now wearing. I can't believe Brynn has done this.

“Oooooo, sorry about that,” Brynn simpers with a smile, pretending she has no idea who Lexi is. Lexi's eyes have gotten huge, and the man beside us hands her a couple of tiny square napkins off the bar. The bartender hands Brynn a replacement drink, she takes my elbow as I grab my drink, and she leads me away from the bar, hiding a smirk on her face. 

“You realize that may have just made things worse, right?” I ask her as we near the pool table where Griff and Chase are getting set up to play. 

“It was a total accident!” Brynn feigns innocently, and I just shake my head. Yes, just like my outfit tonight is a total accident. She really has learned a lot of tricks over these last few years from all the mean girls at school and at dance. I'm thankful to finally have her on my side again.

Chase doesn't smile when he looks up and sees us here, and I'm caught off guard by how much this matters to me. He narrows his eyes at me and he just watches me for a moment while he slides the triangle off the balls on the table. His stare is powerful and I feel like a small animal trapped in the gaze of a hunter.

“You ladies care to play?” Griff asks, twirling his cue in his fingers as it rests on the ground beside him. He's looking at the two of us with raised eyebrows, hopeful.

“Sure,” Brynn replies and my mouth drops open as I gape at her. I hadn't even had a chance to respond, and I suck at pool!
“Thanks a lot, Brynn,” I hiss at her as we walk over to get pool cues.  

“Trust me, Haylee, this will be perfect. I can see behind you, over at the bar, that Lexi is glaring this way, and you need to be right there beside Chase, flirting your butt off,” she tells me and pulls me back to the table. 

“All right, I'll take Brynn. Chase, you get Haylee,” Griff smiles like the devil himself. This is getting ridiculous. Isn't it time to go home yet? Brynn nudges my side and raises her eyebrow toward Chase. Oh yeah, that's right. Lexi is watching and I have a part to play in this theatrical performance called my life.

I walk over to the side of the table where Chase stands leaning against his cue watching me. “You wanna break?” he asks me, his face still not smiling.

“Trust me when I say, you got the short end of the pool cue with me as your teammate. I suck,” I reply and play with a strand of my hair between my fingers. 

“That's ok, I'll teach ya,” he replies and sets himself up to break. I watch as he leans over the table and sets his left hand down on it. His body is so. . . masculine, all muscles and ripples, and his butt looks amazing in those jeans. I shake my head at myself as I feel my whole body flush. It's a strange, heady feeling knowing that I know what this man looks like completely naked and that it's every bit as sinful as you would imagine. But I'm supposed to be playing a part here. I guess it isn't going to be too hard to get close to him in order to show Lexi what she's up against. The cue ball cracks hard into the triangle of balls, sending the colored balls scattering and spinning in all directions. “Stripes,” Chase calls out as he stands back up beside me, having sunk two striped balls in the break. I discreetly make sure I'm close enough to him that our arms brush against each other, but I keep my eyes on the table.

The song that has been playing comes to an end and 'I Won't Give Up' by Jason Mraz begins. Griff is showing Brynn how to hold the cue stick and I catch him exchanging a knowing look with Chase across the length of the table. 

Chase leans his head down nearer to me. “This one's for you,” his voice is thick and sultry and I realize that he means the song. I flick my gaze up to his for a just a second and I know it's a mistake. His blue eyes are narrowed and so bright that I can almost imagine swimming in them.

  “
Well, I won't give up on us; Even if the skies get rough

  I'm giving you all my love; I'm still looking up

  And when you're needing your space

  To do some navigating; I'll be there waiting 

  To see what you find.
. .”

My ears burn from the blush that has crept up on me and I shiver. I can't even look over at him as I watch Brynn finally take her turn, missing all of the balls. At least I won't be the only one who is terrible at pool. That's comforting for some sick reason.

  “
We've got a lot to learn; God knows we're worth it

  No, I won't give up . .
. “

“You're up, Haylee,” Chase speaks softly beside me, surely enjoying knowing that he has gotten to me. I slowly draw out of the trance I've been in. I chance a look up at him and he has the very faintest smile on his face. He has clearly known that Brynn and I had the DJ play the Kid Rock song and he's somehow gotten him to play one back to me telling me that he isn't about to give up on us. Holy shit! Now how am I supposed to play pool? Leave it to Chase to come back with a sweet song after my biting one. He is always kind and generous, and you rarely see him unhappy.

I take a deep breath and glance at the table, looking for a striped ball somewhere near a pocket and the white ball. They all look impossible to me, so I just move to the other side of the table and try to look like I have a clue what I'm doing. I can't lean over too far because I am very aware of the shorter than short skirt Brynn has me wearing. 

“Here, like this,” Chase's voice comes from right beside my ear, and I startle at his proximity for the second time tonight. He puts his hands over mine and moves them slightly down the cue. I can feel the muscles of his arms working all along mine. The entire length of his body is pressed up against the back of mine and I can feel every inch of him. I know without a doubt now that he is enjoying this. The evidence is firmly pressed against my backside. I glance over my shoulder and a smile cracks on my face as he tries to show me how to line up the shot and move the stick. I'm not really paying any attention to the game. Not when he is leaned so close behind me. “I think I've had a dream just like this. . .” he whispers so close to my ear that I can actually feel the faintest brush of his lips. He steps back and I am instantly cold. The difference is a shock and somehow I actually knock the ball he helped me with into the hole. I turn around, excited, and throw my arms around his neck. I freeze for a moment, but then remember that this is perfect for Lexi to see.

Griff shoots, and Brynn moves over beside me when it's Chase's turn again. She leans in to ask for my next song choice, having figured out that Chase had gotten 'I Won't Give Up' played for me. I tell her and she excuses herself to the ladies' room. Chase is on a roll and sinks three in a row, then it's my turn again. 

I scan the table for a second and move closer to the cue ball, leaning over slightly, but it isn't quite far enough to reach. I quickly glance around again as I stand back up, hoping there is another ball I can go for instead, so I won't end up showing my panties to the whole bar full of people. I feel Chase's body up against mine again, and I welcome his warmth. “Isn't that skirt a little too short?” he whispers, the heat of his breath a little lower along my neck now. How the hell is he reading me like this? He's figured out why I'm hesitating on the most obvious shot. “I won't let anyone see what's mine. Take your shot,” he whispers. I think I might have even closed my eyes against the words gliding along my skin. I'm sure that he can somehow hear my racing heart even over all the noise in here. It's a little possessive, but his words ignite something deep inside me. I lean forward again, knowing that he is behind me now. I don't know how I'm going to make this shot; my hands are visibly shaking. I've never been nervous around Chase before. We had clicked instantly and had become friends right away. He is easy to talk to and never puts me down or makes me feel awkward. It's so strange to feel so nervous around him now. He has so much power over me. . .the power to break my heart.