Second Chances (7 page)

"Of course you don't," Cameron agreed. "As I said. You stay until the end of the week and then you are done."

"I'll receive a new assignment upon my return?"

Cameron smiled as he looked around his office. He loved the timid sound of the woman's voice. He knew exactly what she was thinking. He was well aware of his reputation. He'd spent years cultivating it and while not all of the rumors were true, he'd done nothing to deny them. He let the silence spread over a full minute before replying, "Of course."

"I...if you really need me to stay on, Mr. Kassar...I could probably change my plans."

He imagined her holding the phone with two trembling hands and for a moment he almost felt sorry for her.

"Nonsense," he said. "Until the end of the week as was arranged, nothing more. I hope you and Phillip enjoy Hawaii."

"Thank you, sir."

Cameron hung up the phone and frowned. He picked up the receiver once more and tapped a short series of numbers.

"Echo station, this is James."

"Doctor Merrick. Is she in?"

"Can I ask who is calling?"

"Kassar."

"Sir. Umm, yes she is in. I believe in her office, shall I transfer you?"

"No, that won't be necessary. I just wanted to know if she was in. I am on my way down. Please ask her to stay if she tries to leave."

They didn't say a word as the plane came in for a landing and then taxied to the gate. The silence continued as they gathered their belongings, always careful when checking the overhead compartment as things have a tendency to shift during flight, and then proceeded to exit the aircraft.

Paige slipped ahead while Nathan was assisting a woman with getting her bag from the overhead bin. Panic seized him immediately. He jerked hard on the handle of the bag and it finally popped free. He handed it to the lady and had to restrain himself from pushing her out of the way and rushing for the exit.

He ignored the smiling flight attendant and her completely insincere 'bu-bye'. Nathan broke out in a cold sweat as he exited the plane and found that Paige wasn't waiting for him in the jetway. He tried to slow his breathing.

His eyes roamed the terminal as soon as he exited the jetway. Faces everywhere, smiling men and women, screaming children, aggravated men in business suits and many more, none of them familiar. Strangers one and all. He started to feel a little dizzy.

"Nathan."

It was her voice. It sounded like no more than a whisper to him and for a moment he was certain it was nothing more than a phantom. An echo of a memory that he refused to let go of. Had she even been on the flight? Had he dreamt it all? Perhaps he had completely lost it. Was it possible that he had been traveling alone all this time?

"Nathan," her voice came again, a little more forceful this time.

He turned and there she was, standing behind him off to the right by the window, He was flooded with relief and terror. There she was or so he believed. Was this just a continuing delusion or was that truly his wife? Did it really matter?

"I...I thought that...," he began as he joined her.

"I'd run away?"

He nodded. "Or...that maybe I had imagined it all," he admitted.

"I thought about it. Running I mean."

Nathan remained silent.

"I don't know if maybe you haven't imagined some of this, all of it perhaps. But I appear to be that woman in those photographs. I don't know how that can be. Until today I had never seen you before. Never heard your name before. But there I am or rather she is. I mean she bares more than just a passing similarity with me, but I know that is not me."

He heard the edge in her voice, knew she was trying her best to remain calm and in control. Was she trying to convince him or herself?

"I really wanted to just slip away, disappear into the crowds and get away from you."

Nathan looked at her, his mouth slightly open, eyes wide.

"I would never hurt you."

"I believe you. The truth is, I am not afraid of you. Not really. I mean, you scared the hell out of me back there when you first told me who you were and who you think I am, but I am not afraid of you. I don't believe that you would hurt me. I believe the emotions I hear in your words, even if I don't truly believe the words themselves. Does that make any sense?"

"I...I think so."

"So it isn't you that I am afraid of. It is what you represent that I fear. Can you understand that?"

Nathan nodded.

"So while I wanted to slip away, I won't. I don't think I truly could. If I did, I don't think I would ever know a peaceful night's rest again. Maybe I won't anyway."

The look on her face, a mixture of confused fear and despair, broke Nathan's heart. He wanted to reach out, to pull her close and comfort her. But of course he didn't, knew he couldn't. Not yet anyway, maybe never again. How cruel was that? The woman he loved more than anything in the world was in pain only inches from him and he knew there wasn't anything he could do about it.

"All I know is that I need to find answers to all of the questions rolling around in my head."

"And it's the answers to those questions that is really the root of your fears," he stated.

She nodded.

He looked down and leaned in towards her. "Mine too."

She wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or cry. To hug him or hit him. They were united in their fear, she supposed that was something. Partners in a mystery.

"So what do we do now? Where do we go from here?"

"I am honestly not sure," Nathan admitted.

"I've never been here before. San Diego I mean. A friend of mine has gotten me a job, on a trial basis anyway. She was supposed to meet me here."

Nathan looked around, even though he didn't have a clue who he might be looking for and then let out a laugh and shook his head.

"I guess you mean at baggage."

Paige shook her head.

"No. I used your computer and emailed her from the plane. Told her not to come. Guess there goes my job," she said with a shrug.

"Then you had already..."

"Decided to stay? To figure this out?"

He nodded.

"Like I said, I would never be able to sleep again. Not without finding out some answers. Can't step into the future until you make peace with the past. My dad used to say that a lot."

"I know," he said softly.
 
"So did you." And Nathan realized, so did he. He'd written it more than once in his journals and hearing Paige's voice say those words once more warmed his heart, but also sent chills down his spine.

"What did you tell your friend?"

"That something had come up and I needed to deal with it first."

"She didn't ask you what it was? She didn't argue with you?"

"It was email, I didn't really give her much of a chance."

"So...we are both resolved to figuring this out. I wish I knew what came next."

"Dinner," Paige said.

"Dinner?"

"Yes. I can't believe I can even think about food, but I am actually starved."

"Then dinner it is." Nathan said, not at all sure he could eat.

"Who knows, maybe if we can figure this out over dinner, I can still make the first day at my new job," she said with a nervous giggle, her smile more than a little forced.

Nathan did his best to smile and nod, but deep inside they both knew it was a lie.

He watched her for a moment. Her strawberry blond hair, tied back in a ponytail, hung down and around her left shoulder. She chewed on a pencil as she read over the notes scattered on her desk. He found himself strangely envious of the pencil. He knew her file said she was forty-two, but she didn't look a day over thirty. If anything, he found her more attractive now than when he'd first inherited the project nearly seven years ago.

The soft knock on the door drew her attention from the notes. She didn't offer him a warm smile, that even now he hoped for, or even try to hide her mild look of disgust.

"Not now Cameron, I'm much too busy."

He felt his face flush with barely controlled anger. He clenched his fists tight, causing his knuckles to crack and cleared his throat.

"Mr. Kassar. I am still your superior, Merrick."

She silently cursed herself. If he hadn't already been in one of his moods then she'd just pushed one of his buttons by trying to dismiss him. She shook her head and sighed. She had no desire for his bullshit today.

"Fine, Mr. Kassar. And if we are going to be formal then I would appreciate the same courtesy."

"Forgive me, Doctor."

She winced at the tone in his voice. What the hell was it now?

She stood up, making sure to slip into her heels before rising. She now stood two inches taller than Cameron's six-foot height.

"How is it that I can help you, Mr. Kassar?"

She knew she was asking for it. She'd seen Cameron in this mood on more than one occasion. She knew that the man found her attractive and resented the fact that she had long ago made it clear the feelings were not mutual. Though even now he continued to try every now and then, as if he didn't comprehend how his actions only flamed her hatred. She also knew that her height, which without the heels equaled his, annoyed him for some reason.

She did her best not to act totally repulsed as he ran his eyes up and down her, as he almost always did. She now regretted standing up. She wasn't really dressed for work. She was dressed in a white button down blouse and a blue skirt, cut to accentuate her features, which she knew were nice enough to draw more than a passing glance from most men. She at least had on her white lab coat. Unfortunately, it was her short coat and so Cameron was still afforded a decent view of her slender, shapely legs.

She had to admit that Cameron himself was not a bad looking guy. He likely didn't have trouble finding female company. He was trim and athletic, but not buff in a body building sense. He had steel-blue eyes, which more than one of her assistants had described as intense, sexy bedroom eyes. His short trimmed black hair was rarely out of place and he was always dressed impeccably, but she had long ago decided that he likely looked just as good in blue jeans and a T-shirt. In fact, before she had come to know the man she would have said he was definitely her type. But then one day he had made a fatal mistake that had irrevocably changed her view of him. He had opened his mouth.
 

He smiled at her, his too white, too perfect, laser polished teeth almost seemed to give off their own light. It was meant to be charming and disarming and was no doubt long practiced. It made her skin crawl.

"Come on Julie, don't be that way."

She had to fight to keep her mouth from dropping and throwing up her arms in frustration. What was with him?

"Cameron, I am serious. I don't have time. You know I wasn't even supposed to be here today, but I needed to catch up on a few things before tomorrow, before..."

"Yes, yes I know. How is he?"

"Like you care."

He did his best hurt expression, which she had to admit was getting better.

"You know I do. I..."

"I do not believe that my personal life is of any..."

"Concern to me? Now you are well aware that my interest is not entirely personal."

"He's fine, Cameron. Okay? He is the same as always. And thanks to you, he'll stay that way."

Kassar held up his hands as if shocked by her outburst.

"Easy. I was only inquiring. And it is not thanks to me. It is thanks to you."

She winced at his comment. She hated that she did, but she couldn't help it. His words stung like hell. Mostly because they were the truth.

"But I did not come here to discuss that"

She wasn't entirely sure she believed him. She knew he liked to needle her. She believed that in his mind that he somehow viewed it as flirting.

"Then why are you here?"

"She didn't arrive."

He waited in silence. She stood looking at him, a confused expression on her face. When he did nothing to elaborate she said, "Who didn't? Your mail order bride? Don't keep me in suspense here."

She immediately regretted the words. Her father always said her mouth would get her into trouble and he'd been right about that on more than one occasion. She saw the storm building in Cameron's eyes and doubted highly that any of her assistants would call them sexy now.

"Watch yourself."

"Well I don't know what you are talking about, Cameron. If you have something to say, then say it and stop talking in riddles."

"Paige! Paige did not arrive."

"So? Did she miss the flight or something?"

"No. She emailed Linda and told her she had some things to deal with."

"Linda?"

"Linda Danvers. Our operative. The woman that Paige was supposed to be meeting up with. Paige knows her as Linda Dunn, a college friend."

He was clenching his fists again. He knew that she knew exactly who Linda was.

"Some things to deal with? Like what?"

"That is my question," Cameron replied.

She started to sit on the edge of the desk, but remembered she was wearing a skirt and awkwardly redirected herself back down into her chair.

"What? You think I know?"

"Well?"

"Well what? Jesus, Cameron. How in the hell would I know?"

"How the hell would you not?"

"Screw you. Cameron, I've been working here for ten years now, you've been here for six..."

"Seven," he corrected her.

"Seven. This isn't the first time that...things have deviated."

"I am well aware of that," he said, remembering that he'd told Linda almost the exact same thing.

"Hell things are supposed to deviate most of the time. Isn't that the point?"

"I know that as well, but it's never happened this quickly after we..."

"Guess there is a first time for everything, now isn't there?"

"Julie." The anger was flaring in his eyes.

"I don't know what the hell you expect from me, Cameron. What is it?"

"I know things deviate. Did anything deviate early on? Anything that could have indicated this might happen? Anything you might have done?"