Second Chances (15 page)

Dad called at quarter to seven to say that he had to work overtime at the mill and wouldn't make it before Saturday afternoon. Mom's eyes shone with something that looked a lot like relief where she stood holding the phone to her ear. Elizabeth glanced from my mother to me and smiled.

“I'll clean up the dishes, Mom,” I said, scooping our dirty dinner plates into a pile.

“I'll be back in a minute to help,” said Elizabeth. She grabbed the latest romance novel she'd brought to the table from the store's display rack and headed for the stairs.

Mom smiled at me. “I'll just finish up in the shop then. Maybe I'll close a bit early tonight. I think everyone in Cedar Lake has been by already today.”

She left the kitchen humming a song I couldn't place. I turned and started stacking up plates and carrying them to the counter. I was just starting to fill up the sink with soapy water when the phone rang. I picked it up.

“Hello. Oh hi, Aunt Peg. No, I'll get her for you.” I set the phone down and called upstairs.

It took Elizabeth a few minutes to clomp down the stairs. She picked up the receiver where I'd left it on the counter, then turned her back on me. “Yeah, Mom?”

I kept running water into the sink, pretending I couldn't hear Elizabeth's side of the conversation when I could hear every word.

“Please stop crying,” she said. “You know he always says that. Why do you let him get to you? Stop crying, Mom, and go to bed.”

I scraped plates and let the water run so that soap bubbles almost overflowed the sink. I tried not to hear any more. At last, Elizabeth slammed down the receiver and stomped past me without looking. I thought about going after her, but what would I say? It wasn't like she'd ever wanted my sympathy before. I started washing plates instead. The roasting pan proved a greasy challenge, so I slipped it into the sink to soak for a few minutes while I read the paper.

Hunched over the entertainment section, I heard the front door jangle as someone entered the store. My mother's voice mixed with a man's. I raised my head and tried to figure out who had come in.

I crossed the floor to the doorway as quietly as I could, then slipped into the shop and stood behind the last row of Kleenex boxes, paper towels, and toilet paper before moving behind a roll of paper towels so that I could peek out and see the man's profile. I knew before I saw him who it was: Johnny Lewis, standing near the door. He moved out of my range of vision on his way toward the counter, where my mom was sitting on the stool behind the cash. Even from this distance, I knew he'd come for more than a carton of milk. I stuck my head around the corner, but they were still out of sight. I silently shifted packages of paper towels onto the floor before I sidled forward and angled myself to see in the direction of the counter, but my view was blocked by rows of canned food.

“You really have to leave soon.”
My mother's voice.

“I was hoping you'd changed your mind.”

“I never … you can't believe that was ever a possibility.”

“He doesn't appreciate …” Johnny's voice trailed away, but I could still make out the intensity in the murmur of his words.

“You have to go before they figure it out. You know it's not safe for you here anymore.”

“I only stayed this long because I was hoping you'd come with me.”

Their voices dropped away. I could hear my mother talking, but I couldn't make out what she was saying, how she answered him. I moved closer to the end of the aisle and tried to see around the end without being seen. By the time I had myself positioned, Johnny had moved behind the counter. I watched him cross the distance to my mother with his arms open.

I took a step forward.

Johnny pulled my mother to her feet and I hesitated, caught between wanting to run to my mother and not wanting her to know I was there. Johnny wrapped his arms around her and she folded into him, like she belonged.

I staggered back and knocked against the metal end of the shelving unit. My hand reached out to steady the shelves before something crashed onto the floor and gave me away. I couldn't take my eyes off them. They were standing locked together, her head resting on his chest and his hand stroking her hair. I wanted to run from my hiding place and pull her from him, but even in my panic, I knew she would never forgive me. Instead, I turned and slipped back into the kitchen. I crossed the floor as quietly as I could, opened the back door, skirted around the side of the house and fled down the path into the woods.

W
hen
I walked through the back door into the kitchen an hour later, the lights in the store had been turned off and my mother was gone. I looked around inside, trying to think what I should do about it. My stomach tightened like I was going to throw up. I needed something to take my mind off seeing my mother and Johnny together. Anybody would do.

I raced upstairs in search of Elizabeth, frantically calling her name as I went, and following the music of her pocket radio to the closed door of the bathroom. I knocked hard against the door, resting my head against the wood and called, “Elizabeth, what are you doing tonight?” I pressed both my palms against the door jambs while the smell of strawberry bubble bath and cigarette tobacco spread up from my feet through the gap in the door. I heard splashing, like Elizabeth was flipping over in the water.

Her voice was muffled through the door. “I'm going out with Danny and Michelle. Danny came by when you were out. You can come too if you want.”

“Thanks, I will.” I ran into the bedroom and stepped out of my clothes, throwing them against the wall. I yanked on a flowered smock top and clean cut-offs. Then I stood in front of the rippled mirror and brushed my hair so fiercely, it crackled like red fire in the last golden sunlight angling across the floor from the open window. My eyes were wild in the glass and my cheeks flaming. I rubbed a hand across my face. Elizabeth must never suspect. She would twist everything I'd seen between Johnny and my mother into an even uglier knot if she knew.

Footsteps squished across the landing. I turned as Elizabeth kicked the door open and strutted in, dropping her towel into a heap by the bed and stretching naked in front of me. Her blonde hair cascaded down her arched back and she smiled at me, her smile sly and mocking at the same time. “You look like the heat is getting to you,” she said as she bent to reach for her nylon panties lying on the bed. She shrugged into them and then pulled a T-shirt over her head. It was pink and white with a black peace sign tie-dyed across the front. Her hair left long, splotches of dampness on the fabric as she moved. “We're meeting at Minnow Beach in ten minutes. Danny has beer.” She grinned at me out of the side of her mouth then covered her mouth with her hand and pretended to throw up. “I know how much you like beer.”

I'd been thinking of asking Elizabeth about how her mother was doing, but not anymore. “Real funny, Elizabeth. I'll wait for you downstairs.”

“I'll be down in two secs. Hopefully your thirst will wait that long.”

“I'll try to keep myself from drinking the rubbing alcohol.”

“Oh, Dar?”

“Yeah?” I turned to face her. She'd turned on the desk lamp and her face was shadowy in the soft light.

“There's not much point you pining after that Livingstone boy any longer. I hear he's leaving Monday. He and Danny are going to Calgary.”

“I know. Tyler told me.” I spoke like I knew, but I had no idea Danny was going too. I watched a moment longer, trying to figure out what she was up to.

Elizabeth ignored me. She studied herself in my mirror and brushed her long blonde hair while singing along to Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons on her little pocket radio. “You're just too good to be true,” she sang, meeting my eyes in the glass. “Funny how guys turn tail and run when they know someone's interested in them.” She looked back at her reflection and smiled like she'd gotten the better of me one more time. Like she wasn't at all upset about her mother phoning and crying in her ear.

Danny and Michelle didn't get up from the log they were sitting on when Elizabeth and I crossed the beach to stand in front of them.

“Hey,” said Danny to both of us.

Michelle nodded in my direction. She avoided looking at Elizabeth. They'd lit a fire and Michelle's face was puffy in the firelight. When I sat next to her, I could see that she'd been crying. I reached over and touched her arm. She didn't say anything but she smiled at me. Danny's voice was too loud and happy, as if he was trying to make us believe he and Michelle had been having a good time before we arrived. He handed each of us a warm beer from a brown bag next to his feet in the sand. I opened mine and took a long swallow.

“Glad you both could make it. I invited Tyler, but he said he had things to do before we leave tomorrow,” said Danny.

“Like kiss Jane Ratherford goodbye,” said Elizabeth. She was watching me when she said it. I ignored her.

“So you're going to Calgary,” I said to Danny. “Did you decide not to go, Michelle?”

Michelle shook her head. “Not this time.”

“Tyler and I might make it as far as Vancouver for a few weeks. We'll catch a bus partway and then thumb,” said Danny.

“Will you be back in time for school?” I asked.

“Yeah, I promised my parents, otherwise I wouldn't be going.”

“You promised me too,” said Michelle.

“Yeah, you too, baby,” said Danny, grabbing her hand.

Elizabeth yawned loudly and we all turned our eyes toward her. “Has anyone else found this a deadly boring week? I swear I can't stand being out in the middle of nowhere much longer.”

Michelle started to say something, but Danny talked over her. “So how long will be you be staying before you close up for the summer?” He turned to me as he spoke.

“End of August.”

“I'll be out of my mind by then,” said Elizabeth. “I might have to take up a hobby. I hear skinny dipping is big around here.”

“That would be right up your alley,” said Michelle.

Elizabeth laughed.

“Has anyone seen Candy around?” I asked.

“My mother said she heard Candy won't be back. She called Johnny yesterday to say she was staying in the city,” said Danny.

“You must have the best information network in Cedar Lake,” I said. “I live here and I don't hear the half of what you do.”

“It's his mother,” said Michelle. “She spends her day on the phone milking people for information. I swear the woman's a gossip addict.”

“Hey, hey,” said Danny. “She's just got a healthy interest in people. She
cares
.”

“If that's what you want to call it,” said Michelle. She moved closer to Danny until their shoulders were touching.

“She could open up a detective agency,” I said.

“That would just validate her obsession,” said Danny. “Please, never suggest that within a mile of her spy network.”

I wondered if Candy had left because she knew Johnny had something going with my mother. Thinking of her made me feel sick. I drained the beer bottle and set it down next to the log. “I think I'll head home. I hope you have a great trip, Danny. See you next summer.”

“I'll send you a postcard,” said Danny. He stood up and gave me a hug.

Elizabeth stared at Danny like she was looking right through him. “I'll go back with you, Dar, and leave these two lovebirds alone on their last day together.”

“It won't be our last,” said Michelle from where she sat on the log. “That's where you've got it wrong.”

When we got back to the cottage, my brother's Volkswagen was in the driveway. Elizabeth scooted past me up the back steps and into the kitchen. She was already sitting across from William at the table when I walked in. I leaned against the counter and let myself relax. Mom was in the chair next to William. They each had a hand wrapped around a beer bottle, and I could tell they'd had their heads close together and had been deep in discussion. She leaned back in her seat and raised her eyes to mine. Her face looked tired.

“Candy's decided to stay in Toronto,” Elizabeth was saying as I tuned into her chatter. “You wouldn't have something to do with that, would you?”

“Not me.” William's eyes locked on mine. “Looks like Candy just decided it was time to move on.”

“It's all pretty peculiar,” I said. “She and Johnny seemed close. She wanted it to work out between them.”

Elizabeth laughed, her eyes on my brother. “You're so young, little cousin. You have no idea how women like Candy operate.”

William shifted in his chair and took a drink from the beer bottle. My mother frowned at Elizabeth.

“It's wrong to break up a couple that's trying to make their relationship work,” I insisted. “Married couples should stay together. Especially if they have children.”

“Do you want to go for a walk, Darlene?” William asked a little too quickly. He looked at Mom and she nodded, a movement so slight, I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't glanced her way. Elizabeth went to jump in and invite herself along, but Mom got there first.

“I need you to come upstairs and help me for a minute, Elizabeth,” Mom said. “Let's go now before I get ready for bed.”

Elizabeth opened her mouth and looked as if she was about to refuse, but we all stood and William turned his back on her, motioning for me to follow.

We didn't talk until we'd crossed the beach and started climbing to my lookout. The moon was full and the sand bathed in a whitish light. Waves were lapping on the shore and sliding back into the lake like big slurps. William seemed far away and I didn't know how to begin talking about all the worrisome thoughts going around and around in my head. He turned to look down at me from his toehold in the rock. I could just make out his eyes in the moonlight. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up the last few feet. I settled myself next to him, my arm resting against his.

“I wish this summer had never happened,” I said. “People are getting weird.”

“How so?”

“Mom. She doesn't seem happy anymore.” I hesitated. “Do you think she'll ever leave Dad?”

William was quiet for a while. Then he said slowly, “No. I don't. You can't judge what goes on in their relationship, Dar. It's only the two people involved who really know.”

“Then how can you say she won't leave him? What if someone else comes along she loves better?”

“Mom is stronger than Dad, no matter how he blusters and acts all in control. She knows what it would do to him if she left.”

And to the rest of us.

“I saw you kissing Candy.” My confession came out like an accusation. I hadn't meant it to.

William let his breath out in a long sigh and pulled his arm away from mine. “It's complicated. Johnny asked me to help with Candy.”

“Help him how?”

“If I tell you this, you'll have to keep it secret. You need to swear.”

I thought it over for a split second. “I swear.”

“Cross your heart?”

“And hope to die.”

William found a stick and began digging it into the rock at his feet. “You know that little war going on in Southeast Asia? Well, some of us believe it's wrong for the U.S. government to be drafting men to send them to kill people in another country for a cause that rests basically on power, corruption, and greed. A war that the Americans shouldn't be fighting. One they can't possibly win.”

“I hate the war too, but what's that got to do with anything?”

“Some of the men being conscripted into the U.S. army fled to Canada instead of serving.”

“The draft dodgers.”

“Yeah, the draft dodgers.”

I sat up straighter. “
You're
helping the draft dodgers? Is that what Johnny is?”

“Well, yes and no. I'm part of the network helping them start up new lives in Canada, but Johnny isn't a draft dodger exactly.”

“What is he then?”

“Johnny was a pilot in the air force in Nam. He was there five years. Thing is, he went AWOL. That's a bigger deal than running away from the draft.”

“You mean he ran out on the air force?”

“Exactly. But it's a little worse than that.” William leaned closer. “He saw things that could get people court martialled, and he took some documents when he left. People are desperate to find him. Not to mention, he'll be court martialled for deserting and will get to spend several years in prison. The Americans don't like it when somebody leaves their military without permission.”

“If his name is Johnny Lewis, isn't it stupid for him to be using his real name?” William sat silently beside me and I started thinking it through. “But that isn't his real name, is it? And he didn't spend his summers here, and he doesn't really know Mom from when they were kids?”

“We sent Johnny and Candy here with a bit of help from Mom. There was a Lewis family that used to come here in the summers, and they had a son, but I have no idea where the real Johnny Lewis is at this moment.”

“So why use his name?”

“People here remember the Lewises, and they wouldn't think twice about Johnny coming back for the summer. Remember, Johnny Lewis was just a little kid the last time they were here. Mom came up with the idea after she found out the Davidsons weren't coming to the lake this summer. She organized the cottage rental.”

I kept thinking out loud. “So those men staying with Johnny and Candy were other deserters and that's why they kept out of the way. But what about Candy? Why did she leave?”

“She's fine. We … that is, our network figured we had to get her out of here. She was threatening to talk about things that have to be kept secret … at least,
for now.”

My mind started scrambling through the possibilities. “She was going to give some documents to Gideon the night of the beach party. That is before you started kissing her.” I turned sideways to look at him more closely. “Were you taking one for the team? Distracting her so she agreed to go away?”

William hesitated. “Johnny's got military documents that could get him killed. We're protecting him so that he can testify when the time is right. Candy was a loose cannon and I am prepared to do whatever is necessary to protect him. For your information, not that it's any of your business, I honestly care for Candy.”