Second Chance (54 page)

education
.”

      
I
lean over the table and press my hand
against
her forehead, like I’m checking for a fever
.
“
Dylan, do we need to perform an exorcis
m? Has
some evil college
-
rearing demon
possessed
your soul
?
”

She pulls back
.
“
Isn’t
it
normal
to want to go
to
college
?
”

“
Since when do you care about doing normal things?
”

      
She sighs and finally gives in
.
She tells me
Miles hinted that if
she’s going to come back next fall, she
should look into to taking some classes while
she’s out here
.
Then, she
looks
at me like what she’s about to say is insane
.
Like I should prepare myself
.

“I’m also going to be in a book club with Liz,” she announces.

“A book club
?
Since when do you have the patience to read a book?”

She
crosses her arms over her chest
.
“I read sometimes.”

“Sometimes
?
You can barely get through a menu without being distracted
.
It’s one of your
best
qualities.
”

She
ignores the compliment
.
“Well, maybe it’s time to work
on
my attention span
.
And Cat
offered to hire me part
time to
work on promotions
for her band.
”
 

Dylan smiles
, but
I frown
.
“
Promoti
ons
?
”

“
Yeah, like help her
schedule
shows
and find
venues to play at
.
”  Since when is Dylan organized
?
“
And T
ravis
wants to hire me to take some photos for his fan page.
”

I shake my head at this ridiculous job
offer
.
Only
Toolshed
has his own college fan
website and sports blog
.

“
Lenny even offered to give me cooking lessons
,
since
we’ll stick to our
Sunday night dinner schedule.
”
 

I
narrow my eyes
.
I know exactly what Liz
and
Cat and Miles
and T
ravis
are doing
.
Even Lenny
.
They’re trying to keep her here
.
Lock her down
.
Cut her wings
.
Make sure that she’s tied down with school and jobs and clubs and all the things Dylan
has
never been remotely
interested in
.
They want to anchor her here
.
But don’t they get
that
she’s a sail?

“
That doesn’t sound like you.
”

Her chin is held high
.
“
It is me.
”

I need to know
.
“
Since when do you care what other people think
?
”

Dylan doesn’t
hesitate
.
“
I don’t
care what they think, Gray
.
But I care what you think.”

“
Why
?” I
ask
.

“
Because I
love you
.
And I
know if
I leave I’ll just hurt you again
.
I can’t do that.”

Her
face is
stubborn
.
She’s staying
.

“
D
on’t
do it for me
.
I
just
want you to be
yourself
.
”
 

“
But
when I try to be
that person, I
end up hurting you.
”

I shake my head
.
“
You’re perfect,” I say
.

I should be happy
.
My dreams are all coming true
.
But at a cost I can’t afford
.
I know better
.
I see this
angel sinking down to the ground o
nly to get dust on her wings, o
nly to shine less because she’s meant to live so much wider than this confined life
.
All for me
.

GRAY

Mom and Dad get in on Friday to stay for the weekend
.
One of the strangest things about leaving home is having your parents come to visit you in your new domain
.
I
t’s a role reversal because suddenly they’re standing in your
home
and
they
have to ask your permission to turn on the television
or
park in the driveway or
eat something out of the fridge
and you have to lay down the rules
.

Conversation
becomes
a careful balance
.
You won’t fill them in on too much of your love life (because really, do they want to hear about it?), you don’t tell
them too much about your social life
(they were in college once; they know the scene),
and
you certainly don’t fill them in on your problems (guess what, I
was a stoner for the past six months!
)
.
You keep your talks centered around school and sports and the general weather in your area
.
You don’t want to act homesick,
because
they’ll get these worry wrinkles on their foreheads
.
Yet, you also don’t want to seem too ecstatic to be free from their hovering control
; you’ll just make them
feel bad
.
So, you tell them you’re happy and you like school
,
but you sure do miss mom’s cooking and dad’s brilliant sports analysis
.
Everyone’s satisfied
.
You win
a gold star
every time
.

Your relationship turns into
one long
shopping
list
.
They take you out and buy you things so they feel needed, like they still cover you with their umbrella of love and protection and you’re still their baby
.
You humbly regres
s into the dependent adolescent
that, well, you are, and thank them for the groceries, the dinners out, the toiletries, cleaning products and new underwe
ar and socks
.
They buy
all the necessary, boring stuff
that you would never waste your money on because you can’t possibly cut into your entertainment budget for something as lame as floss
.

I haven’t seen my par
ents since winter break. The
first thing my mom wants to do
when they stop by
is inspect our kitchen cupboards and the first thing my dad wants to do is sit down and discuss my season in detail
.
I stand against the kitchen counter and st
udy
them
.

The big question is, do I ask Dylan to meet them
?
She met my mom briefly in
Phoenix
, but it was before we were anything and now we’re sort of something, maybe
.
How do I exp
lain this to my parents
?
Hey, mom and d
ad, meet my on-again, off-again best friend
,
semi
-
girlfriend
,
sex partner
,
but most
-
likely
-
this
-
will
-
end
-
very
-
badly,
spring fling, Dylan.