Seasons of Sorrow (11 page)

Angry and sad, Charlotte looked at the stack of photos, then at Greg.

“Do you think it’s too hot to start a fire in the fireplace?” she asked.

Greg’s eyes widened. “Are you sure, Char? This is almost ten years of your life you’re about incinerate.”

Her jaw tightened. “I’m sure.”

She was keeping all the pictures that mattered. Pictures of her with Brandy and Greg. With Adam. Those were the memories that mattered now. If Derek could move on so easily from their life together and remain untouched by their loss, then he deserved no place in her life or her memory.

Greg stood and grabbed a stack of photos that she intended to burn. “Bring me some matches and some newspaper. I’ll get the fire going.”

Charlotte did exactly as he said. After he started the small fire in the fireplace, they sat on the floor in front of it and watched pieces of the last ten years of her life burn to ash.

Chapter Ten

October, 2003

C
harlotte found a quiet corner and focused on breathing. She never really liked social situations and always felt as though she were suffocating. A small group of people she could handle, but this was her engagement party. Well, not truly hers. Derek and his mother had planned the entire party with very little input from her. Honestly, she didn’t mind. If she could have found a way to get out of attending her own party, she would have.

When Derek proposed on New Year’s Day, he hadn’t had a ring. After a couple of months of shopping, they chose her engagement ring together. It wasn’t what she always imagined though. Charlotte wanted to be surprised. Even if it wasn’t exactly what she envisioned, a ring that her fiancé chose would have been special to her. The fact that he would have taken the time to think about what would suit her, to consider her preferences, that is what made her happy.

Unfortunately, it had taken several months to bring Derek’s mother around. She claimed that she thought they were too young to get engaged, but Charlotte knew that Mrs. Fallon didn’t particularly care for her. She didn’t have the upper class background that Derek did and she was quiet and shy. The Fallons were part of Dallas society and entertained quite often. After they were married, she and Derek would be expected to make appearances at parties and events several times a month.

Charlotte was not looking forward to that part of her marriage, but she would make the effort for Derek. It wasn’t that she didn’t know how to behave in those situations. She always despised insincerity and fake people. While some of Derek’s family and friends were nice, they were aloof and, in her opinion, shallow. Everyone was so concerned with appearances and keeping up with the neighbors. She hated it.

Derek finally convinced his mother to accept their engagement and she had immediately begun planning a huge, lavish engagement party. Charlotte had tried to talk her fiancé and future mother-in-law out of it, but they insisted because it was ‘expected’.

So, after several months of preparation, the night was here. Charlotte wore a snug wine colored cocktail dress that Mrs. Fallon had chosen for her. It was very flattering, but not her style. It was sophisticated and revealed a little more skin than she liked. The dress was sleeveless with a square neckline that revealed more than a hint of cleavage. The back was also squared, but much lower than the front. The dress had been altered to fit her perfectly, just a bit more snugly than she liked, and it hit her a few inches above her knees.

She felt slightly better about the choice after Derek saw her for the first time in the dress. His eyes had darkened and he had trailed a finger across her collarbone. Charlotte shivered under the touch, feeling a small shaft of heat arrow through her middle. They had dated for three months before she slept with him the first time. It had been nice. For the first time, she’d climaxed during sex. Though it didn’t happen every single time they came together, their sex life was better than the few quick couplings she’d shared with her high school boyfriend.

“You look gorgeous, Charlotte,” he said.

The look in his eyes was different than before. So, even though the dress wasn’t really
her
, she decided that it was worth it. Her future mother-in-law and her fiancé seemed to think she looked beautiful.

“There you are,” said a voice behind her.

Charlotte whirled around, clutching her chest. “God, Greg, you startled me!”

She smiled at her friend. He looked so handsome in his suit. Though he came from an upper class family like Derek, Greg rarely looked the part. He typically wore faded jeans and t-shirts or hoodies. Charlotte always liked that about him. He was comfortable in his skin and felt no need to fit the expectations of others.

Right now, though, he was looking her over head to toe, his jaw tight. Charlotte huffed out a small laugh and smoothed the expensive fabric of her dress down over her ribs and waist.

“It’s not really me, I know, but I still kind of like it,” she said nervously.

Greg’s face relaxed. “You look beautiful, Charlotte, and you’re right, it’s not something you would normally wear. Though you should probably consider dressing like this more often. Men everywhere would be falling all over themselves to give you anything you wanted.”

The shivery feeling inside her belly calmed. “Yeah, right. Still, I think Mrs. Fallon did a great job helping me pick it out.”

Greg looked as though he wanted to say more but Brandy came up to them, her sky-high stilettos clicking sharply on the floor.

“What are you two discussing with such serious looks on your faces?” she asked playfully.

Before Charlotte could use the distraction as an opportunity to change the subject, Greg answered, “How sexy Charlotte looks in her dress.”

Brandy’s eyebrows went up at Greg’s blunt words. She looked over at Charlotte and winked. “Greg’s right, Charlie. You look hot in that.”

Charlotte felt her chest and cheeks heat up and knew she was probably the same dark red color as her dress. “Thank you. Can we please talk about something else?” she asked desperately.

Brandy nodded and smiled brightly. Greg continued to watch her, his beautiful gray eyes intent. It was as though he were trying to tell her something telepathically. The way he was looking at her made her feel hot all over.

Unable to face him any longer, she took a glass of champagne from a passing tray carried by a black-attired waiter. The reality of her situation hit her. She was marrying into a very well-off family. Perhaps it was better if she didn’t think about it too much.

“Are you having a good time?” she asked Brandy.

Her friend smiled slyly. “Oh, absolutely. I have several of Derek’s friends on my string already.”

Charlotte giggled. Brandy tended to collect men. She rarely kept any of them but she dated almost obsessively. Gossip around the college said that she was promiscuous, but Charlotte knew better. Brandy was extremely picky about who she took to bed and her standards were high. A man had to do more than take her to dinner once or twice to be invited to spend the night. Still, she’d only had a couple serious boyfriends in the three and a half years they had been at school.

It was their senior year and Brandy seemed content to continue her habit of dating a man a few times before moving on to the next. Charlotte once asked her why she never continued a relationship with a man beyond a few months and she just shrugged.

“I’m having too much fun,” was her reply.

Greg finally seemed to snap out of his strange mood. “Jesus, Brandy, don’t start any brawls at their engagement party.”

She waved a hand at him. “No way. Now the wedding may be a different story.”

Greg and Charlotte both grinned in response.

“Now, Charlie, how are things going with your future monster-in-law?” Brandy asked, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Charlotte, who had been taking a sip of her champagne, almost choked. She looked around wildly, making sure Derek’s mother wasn’t nearby. “Shhh. Oh my God, B, I can’t believe you said that.”

“Well, you told me that she isn’t exactly crazy about the idea of you marrying her baby boy. I was just wondering if she was warming up any or if she was still treating you like an annoyance rather than a future daughter.”

Charlotte drank some more champagne before she answered. “I think I’m a couple steps up from annoyance and straight into a nuisance,” she joked.

Brandy and Greg looked at her with sympathy.

“Charlotte, darling, I have someone I need you to meet.” Leah Fallon approached their group, giving Brandy a dismissing glance, but smiling warmly at Greg. “Please excuse us.” She put a hand on Charlotte’s arm and led her away.

Charlotte looked back over her shoulder at her friends and raised her eyebrows as if to say,
See what I mean?
She didn’t miss the grins that Brandy and Greg were sporting at her expression. Knowing that her friends were there was the only thing over the next few hours that kept Charlotte from running as fast and far away from that party as she could.

Chapter Eleven

May, Present Day

A
fter the night Greg helped her burn her pictures, Charlotte saw him often. Sometimes, when they were together, she catch him watching her, studying her in a way that made her wonder what he was thinking. She mentioned it to Brandy, but her friend seemed at a loss as well.

Most days she went to work, sometimes followed by a visit to Adam’s grave, and then went home. Brandy was swamped at work and sometimes made it over for dinner or a visit once or twice a week, but it was Greg who made a point to come by almost every day. Sometimes he just came by for a drink after work, others he would cook dinner or take her out, and others he would sit with her and watch television or help out with odd chores. Charlotte saw him more often than when Derek lived at the house. She wasn’t sure what to make of it.

Slowly, the numbness that plagued her before began to lessen, as did her sensitivity and irritability. She wasn’t happy and didn’t know if she could ever truly experience deep-in-the-gut happiness again, but she was coping. At least that’s what her grief counselor said. Coping with the loss, the pain, the complete destruction of all her hopes and dreams for the future. Though it almost killed her to admit it, life went on. Just a hell of a lot emptier.