Sealed With a Loving Kiss (36 page)

‘But that's terrible,' gasped Mary. ‘It was the only thing you could do.'

Rosie shrugged. ‘They didn't quite see it that way, unfortunately.' She looked across at Eileen and was surprised to see something approaching concern in her expression. She looked away, for the last thing she needed from Eileen was any sort of pity.

‘My parents had brought me and Tommy to Cliffehaven for wonderful childhood holidays,' she said into the silence, ‘and because I remembered it as a tranquil place, I thought I might find the peace I needed here to make a new life for myself, even though I'd lost my chance of ever having a child to call my own.'

She smiled up at Ron, who was still uncomfortably perched on the arm of the couch beside her. ‘I was lucky, because the Anchor was for sale, and this lovely, scruffy old Irishman was working behind the bar until a new owner could be found.' She momentarily rested her head against his sturdy arm. ‘Needless to say, I bought the pub and have been here ever since.'

‘To be sure, ye've brought a breath of fresh air to the auld place, Rosie girl,' he rumbled. ‘I just hope that this life you've chosen has fulfilled you, despite being cheated out of the family you so wanted.'

‘That hope dwindled and died the moment James was committed,' she replied softly before turning her gaze back to Mary, who was silent and still beside her.

‘I'd been here for two years when Tommy told me about Eileen and I dared to hope again. I begged him to let me have the baby neither of them wanted, for it was already a part of our family through Tommy, and I was desperate to keep it, for it would be the answer to all my prayers. When he and Eileen voiced their doubts about this plan, I promised to pay the rent on Eileen's flat while she was away, and arranged for her to go to a very private refuge in a nearby town once she'd started to show. All the medical bills at the private hospital would be paid by me on the understanding that Eileen would sign the formal adoption papers and return to London after you were born, and Tommy would go back to his wife.'

She gave a tremulous sigh. ‘They finally agreed and promised to do as I asked. I was so happy that I felt as if I was walking on air for weeks. I turned the other bedroom into a nursery and then went shopping in another town for a pram and a cot and all the delicious little things a baby would need. I needed to be discreet, you see, for Eileen's condition had to be kept secret if the plan was to work. Once the baby was born and I brought her home, then I would just say quite truthfully that I'd adopted her. The gossips could make up their own stories as far as I was concerned.'

She lit another cigarette, even though she didn't really want one, but the core of the story was close to being revealed and she needed something to keep her hands occupied.

‘I borrowed a car to drive over to visit Eileen once a week, taking presents of chocolate and books and magazines to stop her from getting too bored during those final four months. We spent a lot of time together and I thought we'd become friends as we strolled round the lovely grounds of the refuge in that Indian summer of 1924.'

She shot a scathing glance at Eileen before she took Mary's hands and smiled. ‘And then you were born on the tenth of October,' she said on a sigh. ‘You were so perfect, so beautiful, and I fell in love with you from that very first moment, wanting to bundle you up and carry you straight home. But of course you had to stay in the hospital for ten days until the doctors were satisfied that you had no underlying health problems, and all the formal paperwork was completed for the adoption.'

Rosie's chuckle was sharp-edged. ‘I came back here in a terrible state of frustration and anxiety. Ten days felt like a lifetime and the solicitor refused to be hurried to get the paperwork in order. I also had to run this place, so there was very little chance of being able to visit you every day, but I moved heaven and earth to see you when I could.'

‘What happened to change things?' asked Mary softly.

There was a hitch in Rosie's voice as the painful memories returned full-force. ‘Tommy came to visit a week after you'd been born and told me Eileen had changed her mind about me adopting you, and had already spoken to the adoption people about giving you to someone else.'

She ignored Eileen's instant denial and talked over her, her voice sharp with anguish. ‘He said she was adamant she didn't want the baby to stay in Cliffehaven because she was already settled here and didn't want you being a constant reminder of her shame every time she walked out of her front door.' She licked her lips and shot a venomous glare at Eileen. ‘Her flat is just a few steps away from here in Camden Road,' she said.

‘Tommy then said that he too was reluctant to have you living with me, as it was bound to cause gossip, and if his wife heard about it – which she would have – she'd have started questioning him and soon got to the truth.'

Rosie ran her fingers through her hair and swallowed the lump in her throat as she remembered that awful night. ‘I begged and pleaded with him for hours, but he wouldn't budge – and he eventually just walked out of the door leaving me and my shattered dreams behind.' She blinked back her tears and took a shuddering breath. ‘And when I went to the clinic the next day to try and persuade Eileen to change her mind, it was only to find that she had made some private arrangement over the adoption and discharged herself.'

‘Lies,' barked Eileen. ‘It's all lies.'

Rosie ignored her as she held Mary's hand and looked into her wan little face. ‘I was in despair, Mary. So low that I just wanted to crawl away and die. But when I went to Eileen's flat, desperate for an explanation, there was no sign of her – or Tommy. I came back to the Anchor, bolted the doors and stood in the nursery as my hopes and dreams lay in tatters about me. Then I climbed into bed and stayed there, too heartsick even to care what happened to me or what day of the week it was. It wasn't until Peggy and Ron broke in to see what was happening that I started to recover. But I didn't see hide nor hair of Eileen or Tommy for months afterwards.'

She gripped Mary's hand, desperate for her to understand her pain and anguish at having lost her. ‘They broke their promises to me and betrayed me to the point where I can't forgive either of them,' she said brokenly. ‘But I want you to know, Mary, that I loved and wanted you so much that the pain of losing you still lives in me, and when October comes round every year, it's almost unbearable.'

Mary released her hand and put her arms about her. ‘I do believe you, Rosie,' she murmured against her cheek. ‘Thank you for loving me so much, and I wish with all my heart that things had turned out differently.'

The sound of a slow handclap drew them apart. ‘Oh, well done, Rosie,' said Eileen with heavy sarcasm. ‘You certainly know how to cover yourself in glory, don't you? That was a masterful piece of story-telling. But you seem to have forgotten one rather important detail that I'm sure everyone would like to hear.'

Rosie frowned. ‘What detail?'

‘The fact that it wasn't me who broke their promises. It was you.'

Rosie immediately stiffened. ‘You've got a brass neck, Eileen Harris,' she said coldly. ‘You sit there and accuse me of such a thing when you know full well it was you who broke that promise and took my baby from me.'

‘Flora wasn't your baby,' replied Eileen icily. ‘She was mine and Tommy's, and once you'd gone back on your word, Tommy did the only thing he could. He took Flora to the adoption people, who had a nice couple lined up to have her.'

‘But he didn't do that, did he?' broke in Mary before Rosie could retaliate. ‘He took me to Carmine Bay where he made a private arrangement with Gideon, who he knew was moving away to Sussex and a new parish the following day.' She sat forward on the couch. ‘And I have proof of that, Eileen. It's in the agreement, and in my father's diary.'

Eileen's aggression withered and died as she slumped back in the chair. She chewed her lip, her eyes suddenly bright with tears. ‘But he told me,' she said plaintively. ‘He swore blind you were with the adoption people.'

Mary regarded her with growing pity, for she was obviously as gullible as Gideon had been. ‘Didn't you find it odd that you weren't asked to sign any formal papers? Or that the adoption people didn't get in touch with you?'

Eileen slowly shook her head. ‘I didn't know what was going on,' she said in a voice barely above a whisper. ‘But Tommy said … He swore that …' She fell silent, her expression confused and woeful.

Mary resisted her natural urge to comfort her, for although she felt sorry for her, there was something about her that she couldn't warm to. ‘When I found out about the agreement between Tommy and Gideon, I went to the library and looked into the adoption process, Eileen,' she said softly. ‘And believe me, there's a great deal of legal paperwork involved – unless you're Tommy Findlay.'

‘I'd already signed one lot of papers just after you were born,' Eileen managed, the tears streaking her make-up. ‘I didn't know there should have been more, because Tommy and Rosie dealt with all of that.'

‘Without signing that last document you'd withdrawn your permission to let me be officially adopted,' said Mary flatly. ‘Tommy lied to you, just as he lied to everyone else.'

‘But why? I was happy for Rosie to have you, because after I'd got to know her better, I knew she'd be a good and loving mother. I was ready and very willing to go back to my family in London, because I didn't want to watch you growing up with someone else – it would have been much too hard.'

‘I think my brother has a natural aversion to legal bits of paper,' said Rosie. ‘He knew that if Flora was legally adopted there would be a trail which would lead to you and him. I know the laws are strict on adoptions and that it's incredibly rare for children to be able to trace their parents, but it has been known, and he certainly wouldn't have wanted to risk her turning up at some stage and making trouble for him.'

Mary nodded. ‘I think you're right, Rosie,' she said thoughtfully. ‘His agreement with Gideon was under a false name, with no mention of my mother – so he'd effectively cut off any search.' She glanced across at Eileen. ‘And as it was highly doubtful that you would come looking for me, or even know where to begin to find me, he'd got it all wrapped up.'

Eileen sat forward on the couch, her face streaked with tears, her hands open in supplication. ‘Whatever you might think of me, Mary, I did come to love you very much in those few days I had with you. I'd never imagined how strong that bond between mother and baby could be, and when Tommy came to take you away, it broke my heart – really it did. And even to this day I'll never forget the awful moment when he walked out of the door for the final time with you in his arms. It was the hardest, cruellest moment of my life.'

An awkward silence greeted this statement, broken only by the sound of Eileen's quiet weeping. Rosie's attitude towards her began to soften, and yet the hurt that had been caused was too deeply rooted, had had too many years to fester, to be entirely dismissed by sentiment and tears.

She watched as Peggy went across to Eileen and drew her tenderly into her embrace, murmuring that it would be all right and that they believed her. Peggy was soft-hearted and loving, and Rosie wished she could be so easily forgiving.

Mary shifted on the couch next to her, and Rosie reached for her hand. The poor child had been bombarded with it all and was still clearly struggling to come to terms with the fact that Eileen and Tommy were her parents. It was one heck of a thing to have to face, and she wondered how long it would take for her to really absorb it all.

Eileen eventually managed to stem her tears and get her ragged emotions in check. She looked at each of them as she used Peggy's clean handkerchief to mop her face, but when she spoke, her voice still held the fragments of her hurt and despair.

‘I met Tommy in London when I was barely seventeen,' she began. ‘He was handsome and sophisticated and so much older than me that I was dazzled and flattered into thinking I was in love. I was a young, silly girl and left my family to come down here to be with him, thinking we'd get married.'

She fluttered her hands helplessly in her lap and forced a rueful smile. ‘Then I found out he already had a wife and two children, and I would have gone back to London if I hadn't suddenly discovered that I was expecting a baby. I was frightened and didn't know what to do. I couldn't go home, my father would have thrown me out for disgracing the family – and I hadn't had the chance to make any friends here, so there was no one to turn to for help.'

She sniffed back her tears and lit a cigarette. ‘When I told him I was pregnant he denied it could be his – then he offered to pay for an abortion.' She shot Mary an apologetic glance and quickly looked away. ‘I refused to do that – I simply couldn't have gone through with such a terrible thing. So I blackmailed him to make him take responsibility, and he found me the flat above the bakery. I realised it would cause a terrible scandal if anyone found out about my condition, so when Rosie came up with the offer of taking the baby and setting me up in another town until she was born, I jumped at the chance.'

She paused to sniff back her tears. ‘Rosie and I became close friends over those months, and I trusted her and Tommy to keep their promises. I knew it would be hard to give my precious baby away – but at least I knew she would be loved and wanted and given a wonderful home.'

She swallowed the hard lump in her throat as she remembered that awful morning when Tommy had come to see her in the hospital. ‘When he told me you no longer wanted to keep Flora I was so shocked I couldn't think straight. I'd trusted you, grown to really like you, and now you had betrayed not only me, but my baby girl. So I let him take her, believing I was doing the best thing for her.' She blinked back her tears as she looked from Mary to Rosie. ‘But in the end, it was Tommy who betrayed us all, wasn't it?'