Sealed With a Loving Kiss (35 page)

There was absolute silence as she continued. ‘Cyril – or rather, Tommy – had been an infrequent member of Gideon's congregation in Carmine Bay for some months before he turned up at the rectory one day with me in his arms.'

‘Tommy? Going to church?' gasped Rosie.

‘I don't believe it,' said an equally shocked Eileen.

Mary ignored their interruption and carried on with her story. ‘Tommy had clearly done his homework thoroughly, for he must have heard the local gossip, seen the gravestones of their dead babies in the churchyard and known that Gideon and Emmaline were about to move to another parish so they could begin afresh. His timing was perfect,' she said bitterly.

‘He told Gideon that he'd had a fling with some girl during his rounds as a travelling salesman, and that my mother had abandoned me shortly after he'd set her up in a flat here in Cliffehaven.'

‘
What?
'

‘Shut up, Eileen. You'll get your turn,' snapped Rosie.

Mary ignored the short, venomous exchange, knotted her hands in her lap and continued. ‘Tommy told Gideon he was at his wits' end to know what to do, for although he professed to absolutely adore me, it was impossible for him to keep me as he'd wished. His wife had threatened to divorce him if he didn't have me sent to an orphanage, but that was something he could never contemplate, as he'd been raised in such a place and had suffered very badly at the hands of those who should have cared for him.'

Mary heard Rosie's sharp intake of breath; saw the puzzled look on Eileen's face and gave a sad smile. ‘Gideon was a gentle, honest man who took people at face value, never suspecting that they might be lying to him. But when I read his diaries, even I began to suspect that the story was too deliberately put together so it would have maximum impact on Gideon's soft heart. And of course, with me in Tommy's arms, it was the perfect set-up. Now I know it was Findlay, that suspicion has been confirmed.'

She clasped her hands in her lap as the tense silence deepened. ‘Gideon saw this opportunity to take me in as a gift from God. His wife, Emmaline, had lost several babies which had sadly been still-born, and I would fulfil all her needs and give them both the little family they'd always longed for.'

Her lips twisted wryly at the memory of Emmaline and her cold, bitter heart. She dismissed the images which had been conjured up and ploughed on with her tale.

‘Gideon and Tommy drew up a private agreement that very afternoon while I was wrapped in a blanket on a nearby armchair. Gideon would raise me as his and Emmaline's child, and take me with them to their new parish in Harebridge Green. Tommy would have no more contact with me.'

She gave Rosie a tremulous smile. ‘It was probably the only time in his life that your brother actually kept a promise, because none of us ever saw or heard from him again.'

‘I can't he believe he went to such lengths,' fretted Eileen. ‘Was the agreement ever made legal?'

‘Were you happy with Gideon and Emmaline?' asked Rosie.

‘I was never formally adopted,' replied Mary, ‘and because I never knew who my mother was, it was impossible to find a birth certificate.' She regarded Eileen fleetingly before turning to Rosie with a smile. ‘Gideon was a wonderful father, kind and gentle, if a little absent-minded. I miss him dreadfully.'

‘And Emmaline?' asked Eileen sharply.

‘She never could quite get over the fact that Gideon hadn't discussed this agreement with her before signing it – or that his affection for me had been immediate and unwavering. But having played the delicate, grieving and childless little woman for years, she could hardly refuse to keep me. However, the fact that I was illegitimate, and had come between her and Gideon, was something she couldn't forgive.'

Mary took a deep, trembling breath and blinked away her tears. ‘She was a rather self-centred woman who enjoyed being pampered because she'd been unable to bear a live baby, and I spoiled things for her slightly. I tried very hard to make her love me, but nothing I did could make her warm to me – so in the end I was forced to accept that she never would.'

‘Oh, Mary, I'm so sorry you weren't happy,' said Rosie as she reached for her hand.

‘I don't see why you should be,' she replied softly as she returned the pressure on her fingers. ‘I wasn't your child, and you aren't to blame for any of this.'

‘Humph. She's as much to blame as her conniving, lying brother,' spat Eileen. ‘So don't let her fool you with her tears and soft words.'

Rosie visibly bridled, her fists knotted on her knees as she glared back at the other woman. ‘If you were honest for once,' she retorted, ‘you'd realise we're all to blame for what happened to Mary.'

‘Then tell her your side of the story and let us be the judge of who's the honest one around here,' snapped Eileen.

Rosie could see that Mary had been deeply upset by the recounting of her childhood and was still utterly confused, so she pulled herself together, and after an encouraging nod from Peggy, began to speak.

‘Tommy and I were both born to loving parents and raised in a leafy suburb of London where they owned a small hotel. He was a sunny, handsome little boy who our parents rather spoiled, and he learned very early on that he could get away with most things if he used his considerable charm – especially on women.'

Rosie mangled Ron's handkerchief in her restless fingers. ‘Unfortunately for all of us, he also realised that this charm opened doors to making easy money. And to my parents' shame and despair, by the time he was twenty, he was well on his way to a life of crime and had already spent a short time in Borstal.'

Rosie remembered her mother's tears and the way she'd been shunned by those she'd once considered friends. Her poor father had shouted and threatened to no avail, and had finally been forced to throw Tommy out of the hotel once his son's reputation had started to affect the business. It had been terrible for her to witness their pain and confusion, for none of them could understand how he'd come to be so unscrupulous and devious when he'd had only love and care throughout his childhood.

She gathered her thoughts. ‘He eventually married and had two children, but he rarely spent much time with them because he was always chasing a dodgy deal or another woman.'

She looked at Mary, her smile sad. ‘As far as I know, he's never been a travelling salesman – it's just not his style. He preferred living the easy life, and would find himself some woman who could set him up nicely for a few weeks, and once he'd spent her money or got bored he'd leave for pastures new. The grass on the other side of the fence was always greener to Tommy.'

‘So the story he told Gideon
was
all lies,' said Mary.

Rosie nodded. ‘He's a convincing liar – that's why he's such a good conman.'

She glanced across at Eileen. ‘But he was caught out when Eileen told him she was pregnant. He tried to deny he was the father until she stood up to him and told him straight that if he didn't support her she would make life very difficult for him.'

‘But how could she do that?' Mary's expression was confused.

Rosie gave a soft grunt. ‘Like Tommy, she'd done her homework. She knew about his wife and family who live along the coast, and had discovered the details of the scam he was running at the time – which I now know he conducted under the name of Cyril Fielding.'

‘You were a part of that?' breathed Mary as she looked accusingly at Eileen.

‘The whole thing disgusted me, and I would have nothing to do with it,' she said firmly. ‘But I do admit that I used my knowledge of it to ensure that he took responsibility for my situation. I might have been young, but I was no fool.'

‘So you blackmailed him,' stated Mary.

‘He got me pregnant. I had no choice,' she retorted.

Mary frowned as she turned back to Rosie. ‘How did you know what went on between Eileen and Tommy? Surely they would have kept it secret?'

‘Tommy confided in me,' she replied. ‘He wouldn't usually, but he'd been drinking and was feeling rather sorry for himself; but he never mentioned Cyril, just the insurance scam and Eileen's condition. He was at his wits' end to know what to do, for he was between the devil and the deep.'

Rosie lit a cigarette and blew a stream of smoke to the ceiling. ‘He was terrified his wife would find out, because she came from a family who'd never approved of the marriage and would do all they could to make sure a divorce left him with nothing.' Her lips twisted in disgust. ‘But he was even more terrified that Eileen might use her knowledge of his insurance scam to inform the police. Either way he was in trouble, and for once he couldn't think of a way out.'

Mary frowned at Eileen, who was listening to all this very closely. ‘So, why didn't you make arrangements for me to be legally adopted by someone as soon as I was born? That way you'd've both been rid of me,' she added bitterly.

‘Well, it wasn't quite as simple as that,' said Rosie before Eileen could reply. ‘You see, I persuaded them not to.'

‘But why? Surely it was the only logical solution?'

Tears sparked in Rosie's eyes, and it was a moment before she could speak. ‘There was a better solution, Mary – or at least, I thought it was at the time.'

She dipped her head and took a series of shallow, trembling breaths in an attempt to stay calm and focused. ‘You should know something of my background first, because I'm hoping it will help you to understand why things happened the way they did.'

Mary nodded, her blue eyes fixed on Rosie in silent encouragement.

Rosie puffed on her cigarette and then stubbed it out in the ashtray. ‘I met my husband, James, while I was helping to manage my parents' hotel. He'd come to live there while he was looking for a house or flat near his new job at the newspaper office. They were dark times back then, with the threat of war looming, but he was a glorious light in my rather dull existence, for he was always laughing and enjoyed parties and dancing and all the happy things in life. I loved him very much.'

Rosie's fingers trembled as she brushed a solitary tear from her cheek. ‘My parents could see how things were going between me and James, so they gave me a generous amount of money as a wedding present to provide me with some security. James left his job as a junior reporter, and we took over his parents' pub in Chippenham on their retirement. We'd only been married a few months when war with Germany was declared and James enlisted into the army.'

Rosie looked down at her hands, twisting Ron's handkerchief in her lap. She remembered how tearful she'd been when she'd waved goodbye to him at the station, and how he'd smiled at her and kissed her so tenderly before he'd become lost in the great ocean of khaki. He'd looked so handsome in his uniform, his dark eyes and youthful face alight with excitement as he'd promised her the war would be over before Christmas, and that he'd bring back wine and cheese and chocolate to celebrate.

But there had been no joyful Christmas reunion that year – in fact she hadn't seen him again until four long years had passed – and when she'd met him off the train he'd been a very different man to the one she'd said goodbye to, and they'd never lived intimately together as husband and wife again.

Rosie determinedly drew strength from the happier times they'd shared before he'd gone through the horrors of trench warfare in the Somme. ‘I had hoped that our few months of marriage might bring me the baby I so longed for, but it was not to be,' she continued. ‘I carried on running the pub and lived quietly on my own, poring over his letters and longing for the day when he would return home.'

She dabbed her eyes. ‘But when he did return, he was a very sick man, prone to terrible fluctuating moods. He'd be laughing almost hysterically one minute and then be deep in depression the next. Intimacy repelled him and he refused to even kiss or hold me, moving into the spare room down the landing and locking the door against me.'

She hated talking about this in front of Eileen, but Mary needed to know it all, and it was a very small sacrifice to make in the light of what had happened to the poor girl.

She took a deep breath and continued. ‘James couldn't sleep without having nightmares; he hated the crowded, noisy bar, and would fly into the most frightening rages over the slightest of things. I began to fear for my life.'

Rosie hesitated as she remembered how he'd rampaged through their living quarters above the bar, smashing everything in sight and threatening to kill her if she got in the way or tried to stop him. She closed her eyes, the images of those awful months so clear in her memory that they could still cause her physical pain.

‘He'd been such a kind, loving man before,' she went on softly, ‘and now and again I still caught glimpses of the James I'd married, and hoped with all my heart that he would recover.' She sighed deeply. ‘But the episodes of violence increased and he became a stranger – a terrifying and dangerous stranger that I didn't know how to control. I sought help from his family, but they dismissed my fears and refused to believe there was anything wrong with him, so I had no choice but to turn to our doctor.'

She felt Mary's hand creep into hers and took heart and strength from her touch. ‘He was committed to a secure asylum within hours of the doctor's visit, and that is where he's been ever since. My dreams of having a family were shattered, for the law doesn't allow me to divorce him because of his madness, so I was left in a half-world, with no chance to start again.'

‘Oh, Rosie, how awful. I can't begin to imagine the pain and fear you must have gone through,' said Mary.

‘Don't be sad for me, Mary. I'm a survivor – and I'm at my best when things appear to be insurmountable.' She smiled at her and squeezed her fingers. ‘I decided to sell the pub and move right away from all the bad memories – and from James's family, who never forgave me for having him committed.'