Scrupulous (An Affliction of Falling Novel Book 1) (22 page)

“Amazing the sadist has been so damn calm with you.”

“I told you, things are different when we are together, like we are learning to speak another language of love or some shit.”

“He must have it bad if he forgets his Dominant needs around you.”

“We get lost in each other.”

“Damn, yeah, you two both got it bad. He has you breaking all of your rules and his basic needs are evolving. Maybe you will tame the beast after all.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means he is a sadist with a harem of pain sluts that line up for his services. Working over just one a night was never enough. Now, we barely see him do a scene.”

“God, he was really that promiscuous?” I try not to sound shocked. In truth, it’s not shock, it’s something more. Insecurity perhaps?

“You are one to talk. But don’t worry that pretty brown head of yours. He never fucks them when he scenes. I don’t recall ever seeing the man’s dick come to think of it.” Samuel wanders off in thought.

“Alright! I get it. I don’t need to hear any more about his dick, thank you.”

“Sorcha Quinn, you getting all prudish on me? Since when have you not wanted to talk cock? That is like our favorite conversational piece. If coooock is off limits, I am not so sure we can be friends anymore.” He laughs heartily.

“His cock became off limits to anyone but me the minute he made me go and fall in love with his ass.”

“Ah, his cock is only yours to worship, got it. Baby girl is growing up!” Samuel looks up mischievously.

“Stranger things have happened.”

“Hmmm, not so sure about that.”

“For fucks sake! Here, smartass, I got you an early Christmas gift.” I pull the package from my sack in a crinkle of protesting paper and shove it uncomfortably in his direction.

“Really?” His face narrows in question.

“Don’t act so surprised. I’d be lost without you these days.”

“You really shouldn’t have, love.” His tone is now laced in tenderness.

“Are you going to open it?” Excitement glints in his eyes as he begins to ease his finger through the folded end.

“Don’t forget the card on the front.”

Samuel stops and places the package on the bar as he plucks the card off from its tape foundation. He raises a brow at me as he pulls the card out and gingerly opens it.

“Damn, Sor! You really shouldn’t have!” Samuel exclaims in glee as he fingers the tickets inside in amazement.

“I know how bad you and Reed wanted to go to that concert.”

“Seriously? How did you manage these? They’ve been sold out for months!” He sways back and forth, just looking at the tickets in amazement.

“Looks like my man isn’t the only one with connections.” I giggle, his exhilaration infectious. One of my old med school buddies happens to be related to the guitarist. She was more than happy to score me the tickets considering I bailed her out of so many classes. Funny, back then, I never thought twice about it. It killed me to see a fellow student struggle and thought a team effort to survive was our best bet. That was a grueling time. A time that I thought I wanted to be made in some form of my father’s image.

“Jesus, how can I ever repay you for these? This is an A-List band. These tickets were going for a couple of hundred a piece on the street, not that I could even find any left.”

“Why on God’s green earth would you think that you would have to repay me for a gift?” I tilt my head to the side and plant a hand on my hip.

“It’s just that this is a lot. But thank you, thank you so much!” He swoops me up into a bear hug.

“Samuel, I love you like a brother. Seeing you lit up like this makes it all worth it. Now, open the package.”

“I am afraid of what this could be.” He warily sighs as he picks at the loose, tattered end of snowflake paper.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake.” Reaching forward, I rip it open and splay the wrapping back to reveal the eight-by-ten raised canvas.

“Sor, I really don’t know what to say. I don’t even remember you taking this.” Samuel lightly traces a hand over the mounted black and white. I had met him and Reed a few weeks ago for lunch and happened to have my camera with me. The two had been lost in each other when I slid my lens into an upward angle from the table and captured the moment. Samuel is admiring Reed with a look that would make most blush, while Reed’s eyes are downcast and a smile plays on his beautiful, thick lips.

“Damn, girl. You’ve got talent. It’s like you captured exactly how we feel about one another in one snapshot. How the heck did you do that?”

“You two did all the hard work. I just have good timing.”

“Your show next week is going to be heart stopping. Won’t be surprised if you don’t stay here much longer.”

“Please, and miss out on all the fun here? I seriously doubt I am going anywhere any time soon. There isn’t even going to be any big shots there, just family, friends and fun. All the Fs I need.”

“I’m not kidding; your stuff could be featured in Apollo or any fancy art magazine.”

“You are too kind. I’m not sure it works that way but thank you. I love doing it and that is enough.”

“Follow your passion and you will always be happy, right?”

“Something along those lines.” He brings me in for another hug before I shrug into my coat and we gather our things to walk down to our waiting cabs.

Gavin had to work at one of the other clubs across town but asked me politely if I would meet him at his loft. Always the gentleman. A gentleman with sadistic tastes and about as many rules for his lifestyle as I had for mine. Rules neither of us seem to care much about since stumbling into one another.

Chapter 13

Sorcha

My nervous fingers linger on the wood to his front door. Do I knock? Ring the bell? Go back home? I’ve heard wise men speak of doors that should never be opened. For if they are, you reach a point of no return and must be willing to deal with the ramifications that that one act can lead to. Some doors are not meant to be opened and should stay closed for that exact reason. We are at a monumental point in our relationship. Opening this door could mean many things in regards to not only our relationship, but also my own sexual self-discovery.

Is that a road I want to walk? Do I want to delve deeper into what defines me and my sexuality on a whole new level? Embracing this side opens up many more vulnerable aspects of my psyche, thus producing more need to protect myself from outsiders who don’t understand and are quick to judge. I already walk that line as it is having embraced the art of promiscuity on the level that I have. This little adventure will undoubtingly ensure this path to either be worth all that we have put at stake to be together or it will all go down in a heap of flames.
Tick-tock, Sorcha…

The door opens from within before my internal debate can reach an indisputable conclusion only to be caught in the highly amused and slightly turned on set of whiskey headlights that make me freeze.

“Having second thoughts?” He smirks ruefully as he jerks his head to the camera above his door. Shit, he’s been watching me this whole time. Of course he has been.

“Just analyzing things,” I mumble as I push past him and into the interior of the loft.

“You and that mind of yours. I do believe  I will have quite the time learning what it is going to take for me to get you to shut it off,” he purrs as he comes up behind me and tenderly slips the tailored pea coat from my shoulders. The contact sends shivers throughout as my heart slams into my ribs and my mind wagers war with the heat building inside.

“Good luck with that one,” I scoff as I set my purse down on the side table and attempt to shake off the effect of his velvety voice.

“Thanks, but I’m not going to need it. Have a seat.” His tone leaves no room for quarrel.

My mouth opens on its own accord to offer a sassy rebuttal, but one look from him and I snap it shut. For the love of God, I don’t know what just happened, but I think I might like it. His current edge is fairly new to me and a far cry from our typical interactions, yet reminiscent of the two times we have encountered one another at the Velvet Rope.

Gavin is completely at ease in his skin on a level I typically don’t see, yet his entire energy is palpable with authority and sex. A beast parading around in finely tailored apparel and hardwired gentlemanly idiosyncrasies that can easily lure one into a false sense of security. Men like this are a trap so easily fallen into. One could be savagely consumed in their entirety and left in a useless heap of nothing and not realize what had happened until after the dust had settled and the hallow cold began to creep in, eating away at you in the beasts absence.

“Now, we are not going to negotiate an actual BDSM contract at this time as I save those for when I plan on putting my training collar on someone. However, we will discuss a pre-scene checklist and questionnaire.” Gavin’s deep voice pulls me from the dangerous torrent of thoughts.

“I didn’t know there was a difference.”

“There is a huge difference. A contract is a form of commitment, hand in hand with collaring whether it be a collar of protection, training, or a full-blown collar, which is as serious as marriage in this community and treated with such respect.” An audible gulp escapes from my direction, eliciting a devilish grin from his handsome face. He knew exactly the reaction he would receive at the mention of marriage from me. “Now, safe words. Red and yellow are your typical beginner ones. I prefer to get a bit more creative. Do you have a preference?”

“I don’t want to get to creative, and then forget them.” That would be my luck─ forget my safe word safe word when I need it most.

“I seriously doubt that will be an issue for you.” He smirks.

“Ha-ha. Can’t I just tell you what I want and how I want it?”

“No, that is topping from the bottom, sweetheart, and not allowed.” A serious look shadows his face as he internally grapples with his displeasure at my innocent question.

I blow out through pursed lips and ignore what my brain really wants to say. “Fine, what would you suggest? And what is yellow?”

“Yellow means we need to slow down as we are approaching a trigger or a hard limit.”

“Can’t we use rabbit, tortoise, and roadkill then?”

“Are you going to take this seriously?” He leans into me and smells my perfume.

“This is my serious face.”

“Such a brat and we haven’t even begun. You are lucky that I have come to like brats.” What flickers over the lines of his face next simultaneously makes me clench my thighs and raises my hackles.

“Safe word:
Commitment
. Word for approaching my limit remains yellow. And if I am screaming your name, then I would consider that green,” I challenge, suddenly aroused by the building tension. His nostrils flare in equal excitement.

“Then it is safe to assume based on previous interactions that my name will be spending a lot of time on those lips,” he rumbles as he begins to unbutton his shirt while piercing me with those eyes. “I will agree to last night’s limit of the term Master, so you may call me Sir, while in scene. As far as how you will be referred to, I think brat, slut, sweetheart, and pet should be all that I need. I will avoid ‘girl’ unless we are addressing punishment. Does this sit well with you?”

“Slut does not, not at all.”

“Think of it as the reclaiming of an oppressive word through erotic definition.”

“Hmmm, perhaps. We can try it but if I don’t like it, I will certainly let you know.” Following his lead, I slip my knee-high boots off and place them by the door.

“I have no doubt about that. We’ve covered health screening by getting tested together and I see you take the pill every day, so that is taken care of as well. Are there any other health conditions you are forgetting to tell me about like you did with your asthma?” The hurt over withholding that bit is evident but his cocky stance quickly covers it up.

“Not that I can think of; I don’t have any food or drug allergies. I have sensitive skin and sciatica from getting kicked hard by a mentally unstable patient in medical school, but that is it.”

“Good to know. We will skin test prior to any chemical play. Did you press charges?” My bodily harm does not go unnoticed and will not be dismissed no matter how long ago that was.

“No, he was not in his right mind and being in the line of fire is what happens. I was stupid and didn’t get out of the way. Can we move on?”

“Very well.” He grunts, clearly unhappy. “Any emotional issues from the past that could be a trigger? PTSD, trauma, emotional abuse, rape?”

“No, aside from being void of emotions I’m apparently supposed to have. I have had quite a good life and have been very lucky. I’m the way I am by my own wiring and choice, not because of some traumatic re-wiring if that is what you are asking.”

“Easy there, young filly. This is something that is always discussed prior to play. The goal is to avoid or be careful around any known triggers that might exist, that is all. We will skip over your experience in the lifestyle─ that is self-evident. On to bodily marks. On what level are they okay?” As if to emphasize, he removes his belt and enjoys the subtle jump from me.

“None, ever. What kind of question is that?” Fucking sadist, of course he wants to bruise me.

“Some play might get a little rough. Think about it, passionate kissing or sucking might leave a hickey or swollen lips. Are these things off limits?”

“No, as long as the hickey isn’t visible.”

“When you drag your nails up my back, it leaves marks of passion that I am quite proud to wear, but they quickly dissipate in a few days.”

“I see where you are going and remember Samuel covering how extreme play can get. No permanent marks, no opening of my skin. Light bruises or marks that will quickly heal are fine as long as they are not visible.” I sit on the edge of his couch as my trembling legs can’t seem to hold my weight anymore.

“Very good, pet. Do you have any fantasies you want to act out?”

“I am sure there are some but can’t think of them at the moment. Can I let you know?”

“As long as you don’t keep things from me and are honest when they come up, that is fine. Now, I am going to go down a list of types of play and you will tell me either yes, no or maybe. This is just a few to get started. The list is quite extensive, but I will never implement anything in play that we haven’t talked about first. If it is new to you, you will let me know if it is a yes, no, or maybe. If I slip up and make a mistake, don’t ever be ashamed of using your safe word. Are we clear?” He sits down next to me.

“Crystal.”

“You’ve already stated abrasion as a hard limit, I personally have no interest in age play, and we know how much you’ve taken to anal play. Let’s skip to arm binding.” He anxiously shifts closer.

“Yes.”

“Aromas or Asphyxiation?”

“Really, after my witnessed asthma attack, you’re gonna ask that?” My heart slams into my chest over the idea.

“I rather like a little gentle breath play. Just thought I’d ask.” He appears disappointed but understanding.

“No, certain aromas set off my asthma and anything with breath play is a hard limit.”

“Very well, biting and blindfolds?”

“Yes, as long as it doesn’t break the skin.”

“Whips, caning, flogs, hmmm… crops. We know you like that now, don’t we?” he dares, raising a brow.

I don’t take the bait crafted from a dark place that will get us nowhere. “Yes to all but the cane.”

“Cuffs, dildos, double penetration?” I see the strain of his bulge behind the seam of his pants start to erupt as his voice deepens.

“Yes,” I breathe. Did I just agree to all that?

“Electricity, forced chastity, face slapping, rape?”

“Maybe on the first two, hell no to the last two. What is involved with the electricity again?”

“Stimulation play with low-current electricity. I have a toy for that.”

For some strange reason, my thighs clench at the idea. “Yes to that then.” His brow rises in surprise.

“Wax play, fisting, food play?” he rapidly fires off, anxious to get on with it.

“Yes, no, yes.”

“Gags, hair pulling─ well, that’s a yes-

given or auctioned off to another Dom?”

“Shouldn’t you be writing all this down?”

“Answer.” His mask of control momentarily slips as he leans in to breathe me in.

“No to all but the hair pulling.”

“Giving head?” He smiles, nips at my neck, and tugs at the front of his pants.

“We’ve discussed that.”

“You had a bad experience, I am asking if you will revisit.”

“Maybe.”

“Good. Any type of deprivation─ sleep, food, or orgasm.”

“Lord help the man who dares venture down depriving me of food or sleep. Hell no.”

“You left out orgasm.”

“Somehow, I don’t think I get a choice in that matter.”

“No, you don’t. That is punishment.”

“Anything else?” My nipples are throbbing, and I can’t help but lick my lips in anticipation of tasting his tongue that is traversing the column of my neck.

“That is a shortened version of the list highlighting my personal favorites, some of the remainders I don’t care for, such as golden showers or scat play. Because of your hard limit of anything breaking the skin, that knocks off many. The rest, we will get to when it comes up. I have a pretty good feel for your limits now and already know how to read you quite well.”

“Do you now?” I pant and arch back into his caressing hand now traveling up my back.

“That’s it. I can’t fucking stand it anymore. The things you do to my self-control, woman! Get up; we are going to my room.”

I squeal as he pulls me from the couch and quickly puts me over his shoulder, carrying me down the hall.

“Gavin! What are you doing?” I giggle as he lands a hard palm onto the fleshy softness of my upturned ass before smoothing his warm hand over it.

“Rule number one─ never question me.

Rule number two─ your body is my playground and recess has begun.”

Shivering due to the partial chill mixed with irritation and the rush of excitement, I reflect how it has all lead to this─ me strapped down to a spanking bench, stripped bare, and ass presented in Gavin’s playroom that discreetly resides off his bedroom.

It all started the night I exercised what was thought to be my choice on leading a promiscuous lifestyle to pursue my own selfish needs outside of adult responsibilities. Up until that fateful night, meaningless sex with strangers barred only by the specific set of rules I controlled had made complete sense. It was easy, fun, gave me the thrill from the kinky edge it poised, and best of all─ no strings attached.