Screwups (7 page)

“I do it when you’re sleeping at night. There’s no reason you shouldn’t do the same.”

“You’ll catch me again.”

“So what?” Danny asked. He stretched out beside Jake and looked up at the sky through the overhanging trees. “If I hear you doing it, maybe I’ll join you again.”

“This doesn’t embarrass you at all, does it?”

“Nope.”
Excite me, yes. Embarrass me? No.

Jake sighed and was silent for a long time before he said, “All right. But you’ll have to start next time. I’ll be way too self-conscious.”

Danny felt his dick go instantly hard in his shorts.
Jesus.
It was almost as if Jake had propositioned him. “You mean tonight?”

“Whenever. Just… you start first.”

“Okay.”

There was another long silence between them. Then Jake asked, “You know I like to sketch nudes, right?”

“I saw the pictures.”

“Would you ever consider posing for me?”

“Are you kidding?” Danny asked. “I’d love to! Anytime you want.”

Jake moved his arm toward him and for a weird moment Danny thought they were going to hold hands. But Jake just tapped the back of his hand against Danny’s arm—a mildly affectionate gesture, but not a gay one. “Thanks.”

J
AKE
LAY
in bed that night in the dark, horny as hell, hard dick in hand and feeling like a total perv as he listened intently for the sounds of his roommate jerking off. He wasn’t sure how much time had gone by since they’d turned off the lights, but it felt like hours. How the hell was he supposed to sleep if his erection wouldn’t go down?

At last he heard it, the gentle rhythmic rustling of Danny’s hand under the sheets. That was all he needed. He started going at himself, no longer really caring if he made any noise. He’d just needed to know Danny was doing it before he could find the courage to do it too. But now that the okay had been given, Jake surrendered himself to his pleasure. It was amazing, knowing that Danny was masturbating less than fifteen feet away, and it might have been his desire to
hear
Danny that made Jake noisier than usual, sighing and making low guttural sounds in his throat.

He was pleased to hear Danny respond in kind. When he neared orgasm, he held back just long enough to make sure that Danny would reach it at the same moment. Then Danny’s groan as he came drove Jake over the edge and he exploded all over his stomach and chest.

While they were both cleaning up, Danny laughed softly and said, “You’re a much more fun roommate than Mark was.”

Now that his dick was no longer overriding his brain, Jake was again embarrassed by what he’d just allowed himself to do. He rubbed his stomach dry with his underwear and grunted. “I doubt my old roommate would have done this with me either.”

“You’re totally wigged out now, aren’t you?”

Jake tossed the underwear on the floor. “Not… totally. But it is kind of weird. I don’t think most roommates are this… open with each other.”

“We don’t have to do it if you don’t like it.”

“I do like it. But maybe we shouldn’t talk afterward. That just makes it feel awkward.”

“Sorry. I always like to have everything out in the open. Maybe that’s not always a good idea, though. I’ll try not to talk next time.”

Jake stretched out on his mattress and pulled his blankets up. But as he lay there in the darkness, thinking over what Danny had just said, he knew that wasn’t really what he wanted. It felt weird to talk openly about jerking off together, but on the other hand it was kind of cool that they could do that. He’d never had a friend he felt this close to. Not even Tom. And he’d only known Danny for a few weeks.

“Fuck it,” he said. “We can talk about it. It’s not like anybody’s gonna kick down our door and arrest us.”

“Not unless you keep moaning like we’re filming a porno in here.”

Jake rolled over and buried his face in his pillow.
Just when I think he can’t embarrass me any more than he already has….
He lifted his head and told the dark silhouette across the room, “Fuck you, asshole. Now go to sleep.”

T
HE
NEXT
day was Monday, and although Danny was looking forward to posing for Jake, he knew it was unlikely to happen that afternoon. Jake had a pretty full schedule on Mondays. He and Danny generally had dinner together, but it wasn’t unusual for him to be gone right up until then.

Danny wasn’t sure why it was so important to him to pose. Maybe it was because nobody had ever thought he was worth sketching. He’d offered to pose in the lounge for drawing sessions once when people were suggesting art projects for the dorm, but nobody had taken him up on it. In fact, the resounding lack of interest had stung a bit. Mark had sneered at him when they were alone after the meeting, saying, “Nobody wants to look at that.”

But Jake did. Danny couldn’t be absolutely certain, but he suspected Jake might even be attracted to him. Danny supposed he must be at least moderately attractive—he’d had plenty of guys proposition him for quick fucks. But once they heard the stories or simply found out how experienced he was, they rarely came back for seconds. If they did, it was because they figured he’d be a good, easy lay. Danny had learned how to give them what they wanted, and he’d long ago given up any hope of anyone actually caring about him.

Wanting to sketch him wasn’t exactly caring about him. But Jake did seem to like him. Danny realized, as he went through his day unable to deny that he was looking forward to meeting Jake at the dining hall for dinner, that this relationship was starting to feel romantic. Jake was still acting straight, but Danny found it harder and harder to believe. True, some straight guys got off on masturbating with friends—or so Danny had read somewhere. And some straight guys formed close, affectionate bonds with other men. But there was just something about the way Jake looked at him that just felt… gay.

Or maybe I’m just seeing what I want to see.

When dinner finally rolled around, he went to the dining hall to meet up with Jake. Instead, he ran into Eva standing in line. He had a momentary desire to dodge her so he could be alone with Jake, but he knew that would be stupid. He had plenty of time alone with Jake. And the dining hall wasn’t exactly a great place for conversation anyway.

He and Eva went through the line and grabbed a table in the corner of the room they always ate in. Jake came along and joined them just a few minutes later.

“Do you have some time after dinner?” Jake asked him.

Before Danny could respond, Eva asked, “For what?”

“I want him to pose for a sketch.”

Eva’s jaw dropped and she gasped in a comical imitation of a person who’d been utterly betrayed. “Danny? I thought you were going to sketch me!”

“Yeah,” Danny said. “Turns out you were the only one who thought that.”

Jake looked uncomfortable, still not quite in tune with Eva’s idea of humor. Danny had known her far too long to be disturbed by the theatrics. “He’s my roommate,” Jake said, as if that explained it.

“But he doesn’t have perky bosoms. Don’t you want to sketch perky bosoms?”

“Well… maybe sometime….”

Danny decided to rescue him with a change of subject. “If we’re going to go to Worcester, we’re going to have to make up our minds soon. The weather’s starting to get cold.”

“I know,” Eva replied, her bosoms forgotten. “Karl says there’s an event this Sunday if we want to go.”

“What’s in Worcester?” Jake asked, confused.

“The LARP we’ve been talking about,” Eva said. “They do still get together for indoor events in the winter, but the first time we play, we’d like to see what it’s like to actually be out in the woods.”

“But this weekend is Thanksgiving.”

Eva shrugged. “So we’ll go home for a couple days and drive down to Mass. on Saturday.”

“That would be fine with me,” Danny said. “I can only spend so much time with my mom.”

“Your mom’s terrific,” Eva said in her defense.

“I know. She just fusses. Anyway, she won’t be too traumatized if I leave on Saturday. We could see if Karl can put us up. Maybe he’ll help us create our characters ahead of time.”

“Paul will probably be happy to get away from his grandparents for a couple days.”

Danny noticed that Jake was stirring his mashed potatoes with his fork, looking unhappy, so he asked, “Did you want to come with us?”

“I don’t have a car.”

Eva rolled her eyes. “Yes, we know that. But how far from here do you live?”

“Concord.”

“Well, that’s a little out of the way,” she admitted, “but we can swing it. Could you be ready to leave early on Saturday morning?”

Jake was suddenly all smiles. “Sure.”

T
RUTHFULLY
, J
AKE
wasn’t sure that he’d enjoy “LARPing,” as Danny and Eva called it. He still hadn’t made up his mind about D&D in the lounge. But spending time with them sounded infinitely more fun than spending time with his family. He was actually dreading going home. He hadn’t seen his father since moving into the dorm.

After dinner, Jake took his books into the lounge to study for an exam the next morning, while Danny practiced a piece he said was by Brahms. Jake didn’t know Brahms from Bach, but the music was pretty, even though it got a little monotonous by the tenth time Danny played it through.

Beginning yet another repetition, Danny suddenly stopped playing, dropped his hands in his lap, and sighed. “I’m bored,” he said, looking accusingly at the piano.

“You could play something else,” Jake suggested.

“No. I’m tired of playing.”

As usual, he wasn’t wearing anything but one of his numerous pairs of shorts—this one was pale green. Jake had been admiring his smooth, golden skin and the soft blond hair on his arms and legs, but now he sensed that he was beginning to grow stiff in his jeans. He forced himself to look away. “We could…. Do you have time to pose for me?”

Danny looked at him and smiled. “Sure.”

Jake felt himself stiffen even more.
I’m such a pervert. This is supposed to be artistic, not for me to get off on!
He stood up, hoping his jeans wouldn’t show his erection too blatantly. From the way Danny’s eyes immediately settled on his crotch, he suspected they’d betrayed him. But fuck it—Danny had seen it already. “Come on.”

Danny followed him silently into the dorm room, as if Jake had just announced that they were going to have sex. With Danny dropping his shorts the moment the door was closed, it really
did
feel like that to Jake, and judging by the way Danny smirked at him, he knew it.

“Where do you want me?”

Sitting on my face.
“Um… why don’t you just find a comfortable position on your bed,” Jake said, feeling awkward. He went to his desk to gather his sketchbook, pencil, and eraser.

Danny sat down on his bed while Jake moved one of the desk chairs to the center of the room for him to sit on. But when he looked at the position Danny had taken up, he was confronted by a new problem—he didn’t like it. Of course, that wouldn’t normally be a problem. He could just ask Danny to move. The problem was the
reason
he didn’t like it.

Apparently, his disapproval could be read in his face, because Danny asked, “What’s wrong? Do you want me to move?”

“Yeah, I guess so. It doesn’t seem right.”

Danny unfolded himself from the cross-legged position he’d taken up and stretched out on his stomach. “Yes? No?”

Jake tried to smile. “It’s fine.”

Danny laughed and sat up again. “In other words, ‘no.’ So what do you want?”

“I don’t know.” Jake shrugged. “How about if you sit back against the wall?” Danny did so, leaning back against the wall with his legs spread and bent at the knees to support his arms. “That’s perfect,” Jake said.

I’m going to burn in hell
, he thought. He knew full well that what he’d been aiming for all along was a good view of Danny’s crotch. He cleared his throat, which had suddenly gone dry, and bent over his sketchpad, hoping he could settle into the drawing and stop thinking about licking Danny’s beautiful penis.

D
ANNY
WATCHED
Jake as he sketched. He seemed intent on the pad of paper in front of him, glancing up frequently at Danny, but always quickly, never lingering. Nevertheless, Danny wasn’t fooled. He knew why Jake had wanted him in this pose. The only way he could have put his dick more blatantly on display would have been if he stood in front of Jake and stuck it in his face.

You want me. How long are you going to pretend you don’t?

Not that Danny really minded. This little game of cat and mouse was the most exciting thing that had happened to him in years. He could keep playing ignorant, if that was what Jake wanted—keep pretending that Jake wanting to jerk off together in the dark was just some straight guy’s kink, that wanting to see Danny naked and sketch him was just curiosity. But Danny was as sure Jake was gay as he was sure Paul jerked off to the nearly naked women in
The Savage Sword of Conan
.

But the longer the game dragged out, the longer Danny could pretend Jake liked him and wanted him for more than just a fuck. He had no desire to end that pleasant fantasy.

“You can talk if you want,” Jake said, after a long time had passed in silence.

“About what?”

“I don’t know. I just meant that you don’t have to be quiet when I’m sketching you.”

“I don’t know what to talk about.”

Jake looked up at him for a moment and smiled. “What do you plan on doing after you graduate?”

“I was planning on playing keyboard in the food court at the mall. You can get awesome tips doing that.”

Jake’s hand stopped midstroke as he debated whether or not Danny was serious. “See, I would have thought you’d be good enough to play in a bar.”

“Well that’s the dream. Playing in a bar with a bunch of half-full beer bottles lined up on the piano lid to give it that beautiful jingly sound you can’t get anywhere else. But I’ll have to do the shit gigs for a while before I work my way up to that.”