Scraps of Love (6 page)

     Fluffy white snowflakes
drifted to the cold ground. How fitting that the first snow came on such a sad
day in her life, Colleen observed. All her dreams and hopes of finding love lay
buried like the ground beneath the glistening white covering. She shivered.
Adam hadn’t even bothered to deny his actions.

     “Colleen, what do you think of
this?” Jenny asked.

     She turned back to the teenager
and looked at the page Jenny had been working on for the past hour. Adam’s
smiling face stared up at them from the page. It was his senior picture with
both his parents. “It looks good.”

     “I’m going to put the words,
‘We’re very proud of you’ at the top. Do you think he’ll like that?” Jenny
didn’t look up as she wrote the date on the bottom of the paper.

     “I’m sure he’ll love it.”
Colleen wondered how Jenny would take the news that she would soon be an aunt.

     Adam and Jenny’s relationship
had blossomed. Colleen hoped Jenny wouldn’t be too disappointed in her older
brother.  Then the question hit her. What would Jenny think of a Christian man
behaving as Adam had?

     A knock sounded at the front
door.

     “That’s Adam. Don’t let him in
until I can hide this page. I want it to be special when he sees it. Jenny hid
the paper in the back of her scrapbook. She opened the book to a new page and
pulled out a fresh paper. “Okay, I’m ready now.”

     With a heavy heart, Colleen
went to answer the “shave and a haircut, two bits” musical being tapped out on
her door.  She opened the door and hurried away without making eye contact with
Adam.  

     He shut out the chill that
whipped in about her ankles. The sound reminded Colleen of her heart’s door now
closed tight against any emotion that threatened to escape or enter. The sting
of tears prickled her eyes.

     She wandered back to the
window but listened to the conversation taking place behind her.

     “Hi, Jen. How was your day at
school?”

     The sound of a chair scraping
across the hardwood floors and the creak of the table as he sat down
familiarized Colleen with his location. She assumed he’d taken his regular sear
and knew his back would be to her if she chose to turn back around and face the
room. Why was she having so much trouble facing him? He was the one with the
explaining to do, not her.

     Still, something nagged at
her. Colleen pushed all thoughts of his innocence to the back of her mind. She
turned and found herself staring into stormy blue eyes.

     “What’s up between you two?”
Jenny asked. She looked at Adam, then Colleen, and back to Adam for an answer.

     “You didn’t say anything?”
Adam asked. His voice sounded scratchy.

     Colleen folded her arms over
her chest. “Of course not. I said I wouldn’t.” She didn’t like him questioning
her word. Unlike him, she knew right from wrong.

     Jenny laid down the pen she’d
been journaling with. “Adam? What’s wrong?”

     Adam turned his attention to
Jenny. “Nothing’s wrong, but I do need to tell you something. Cassie Masters is
pregnant.”

     Colleen felt sick to her
stomach as she watched Jenny’s eyes get wide.

     “No way!”

     Adam smiled. “The doctor says
she’s about three months along.”

     “Who’s the dad?” Jenny asked
as she picked her journaling pen back up.

     “Richard.” His gaze met
Colleen’s again.

     Jenny looked down at her
paper. “I bet her dad is furious.”

     Shock and confusion rushed
through Colleen’s system. Her knees went weak.

     “He will be for a while, but
Cassie decided to tell him the whole story tonight.” Adam focused back on
Jenny.

     Jenny’s blue gaze met his.
“Adam, I didn’t think Cassie was that kind of girl.” The words came out a
whisper.

     “She isn’t Jenny. Cassie and
Richard were secretly married last summer right before he went to boot camp.
They were husband and wife when the baby was conceived.” Adam smiled at his
sister.

     Jenny returned the smile. “I’m
glad, but why did they sneak off? Why not just tell her dad they were married?
She’s old enough to get married.” The last sentence came out sounding as though
she were thoroughly disgusted at the adult population.

     Adam laughed. “Yes, she was
old enough, but her dad didn’t want her to marry a military man like himself.
He wanted his little girl to have a stable home and not have to move around.”

     “So when is she going to tell
him?”

     “Tonight. Are you ready to
go?” Adam stood.

     “I’m glad she’s going to tell
him. I don’t think she should have lied in the first place. Do you?” Jenny
closed her scrapbook and began gathering her things.

     “No, I think she should have
told her parents, but we don’t always do what we should.” Adam’s gaze met
Colleen’s.

     Colleen turned back to the
window.

     She’d been wrong.

     The realization that she’d
judged and convicted Adam without knowing all the facts took her by surprise. 
What could she say?

     Jesus’ words from Matthew 7
floated through her mind. “Judge not, that ye not be judged.”

     “Bye, Colleen,” Jenny called.

     Colleen turned to call out to
Adam that she was sorry. The door closed before she could get the words out.
She ran to the door, then stopped.

     Tears slid down her face as
she realized no matter what she said, the damage had already been done.

     ---

     “Why don’t we ask Colleen if
she’d like to ride up to Grand Junction with us?” Jenny folded another pair of
jeans and put them into the suitcase.

     Adam leaned against the
doorframe of his sister’s bedroom. He’d had the same thought but knew if they
did, Colleen would just bury herself deeper into his heart. He couldn’t allow
that to happen. She hadn’t believed him. “I don’t think so, Jenny.”

     “Why not? She’d enjoy the
trip, and Sarah said Grand Junction has a great big scrapbook store. Plus, she
could do her Christmas shopping.” Jenny sat on the lid of her suitcase.

     Adam smiled as Jenny struggled
to fasten the latches. As usual, his little sister had packed too much. He
moved to her side to help her. Placing his hands on the suitcase top to add his
weight for closing it, he voiced his thoughts. “I don’t plan on seeing Colleen
anymore, Jenny.”

     The catch snapped into place.
Adam smiled and turned to Jenny. The look on her face erased his grin.

     “Why? What has Colleen done?”
Jenny dropped down on the side of her bed.

     Adam scooted the suitcase back
and joined her.  “Colleen thought Cassie’s baby was mine. She believed I would
have a baby out of wedlock, Jenny.”

     “Why would she think that? She
knows you and I go to church. Are you sure?”

     “I’m sure.” Adam studied his
hands. He didn’t know why she would believe him capable of such a sin, but she
did.

     “So, just like that, you
aren’t even going to talk to her about it. You’re just dropping her like
yesterday’s old mail,” Jenny accused and stood up. “Aren’t you the one who says
that if we have a problem with someone, we should talk to them about it?” She
picked up her compact CD player and stuffed it into the book bag.

     Adam stood up, too. “This is
different, Jenny. Colleen and I aren’t like your friends.” He turned to walk
out the door.

     “No, you love each other.”

     Adam chose to ignore her. What
did a kid like Jen know about love? “Let’s go, Jen. Cassie’s waiting.”

     They drove the short distance
to Cassie’s house. She stood on the front porch with her parents when they
pulled into the driveway. Adam hopped out of the Blazer and picked up her
suitcases while she hugged her parents good-bye. “You call as soon as you get
there,” Her father ordered from the porch.

     Adam helped Cassie in. As soon
as he closed her door, she rolled down the window and answered, “I will, Daddy.
I love you both.”

      Adam clicked shut the clasp
of his seat belt and turned to the tearful Cassie. “Ready?”

     She nodded and waved good-bye
to her parents.

     They drove in silence.

     Cassie wiped at her eyes.
Jenny put on her headphones and turned on her ipod. Adam didn’t know what to
say to either one of them.

     He really didn’t think there
was much he could say to Cassie. From the phone call the night before, he knew
her talk with her parents had been rough, but in the long run, they had
forgiven her and were looking forward to having a new grandbaby to cuddle. Her
eyes were tears of sorrow at having to leave them.

     As for Jenny, she sat sulking
in the backseat. He’d dealt with her anger before, and it always passed. But
this was the first time in two months that she’d been angry with him. Since the
night she stayed with Colleen until the night he’s gone to the hospital with
Cassie, they’d gotten along fine. Now this had to happen. He told himself she
didn’t understand grown up things, but he knew deep down he was wrong. Jenny
had matured a lot in the last few months, thanks to Colleen.

     “You two are quiet today.”
Cassie blew her nose and glanced toward the backseat where Jenny sat with her
photo album.

     Adam tried to smile. “We had
an argument this morning and she is pouting.”

     “I’m not pouting, and I can
hear you.” Jenny flipped the page of her scrapbook with anger.

     Cassie turned sideways in the
seat and faced Adam. “Want to tell me about it? Maybe I can help you work
through it.”

     Silence.

     “You know, like an unbiased
third party?” she hinted.

     Jenny sat up straighter,
“Yeah, Adam. Why don’t you tell her what we are fighting about? After all, it’s
partly her fault.” She met Adam’s eyes in the rearview mirror.

     “That will be enough, Jenny.”
Adam didn’t want to have this discussion with Cassie or Jenny. This was his
business and no one else’s.

     “Why is it my fault?” Cassie
turned farther in the seat to face Jenny.

     Jenny ignored the threatening
look from her brother and pressed on. “Well, it seems someone told Colleen you
were pregnant. Since you and Adam have been going out a lot, she assumed he was
the father and refused to go out on a date with him.”

     Cassie’s sharp intake of
breath didn’t stop Jenny.

     “So my brother thinks he’s too
good to forgive and forget, and now he doesn’t want to see Colleen at all, even
though everyone in town knows they are both crazy about each other.”

     “Jenny, that’s enough.” Adam
warned.

     Cassie’s voice came out weak.
“I’m sorry.”

     “It’s not your fault, Cassie.”
Adam reached over and patted her hand.

     She nodded her head. “Yes, It
is.”

     Adam watched fresh tears fill
her eyes. “It really isn’t Cassie. Colleen jumped to the conclusion that the
baby is mine. She didn’t ask me; she just assumed.” He moved both hands to the
steering wheel and looked straight ahead.

     Cassie touched his arm. “Adam,
I didn’t mean to, but I sort of told her the baby is yours.”

     “You what?” His voice, edged
with disbelief, echoed with in the cab.

     Cassie jerked her hand back. “I
didn’t mean for it to sound as though you were the father, but I guess it did. I
told her you were fine with me being pregnant, and that you were helping me get
to my doctor’s appointments and everything. Now that I think back on the
conversation, I never said Richard and I had gotten married or that he is the
baby’s father. I’m so sorry, Adam.” Tears spilled down her cheeks once more.

     Colleen finished straightening
up the bakery. She turned off the lights, locked the door, and made her way
back to the apartment. The scrapbook lay on the kitchen table. It beckoned her
to come and finish it. She ignored the summons and made her way to the teapot
instead.

     She’d worked on the photo
album off and on during the last week, but it just didn’t spark her interest
now that Adam and Jenny were out of town and out of her life.

     Once more she asked the Lord
why she had been allowed to fall in love with Adam just to have him snatched
away from her. Tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to spill over. She bit
down hard on her lip and blinked, determined to maintain the mood she’d left
the bakery with.

     While the teakettle heated,
she sat down at the table and looked at the scrapbook. Each page captured her
family’s history. Colleen made special notes throughout the pages. She wanted
to remember the love and laughter of her ancestors. A smile touched her lips.

     For now, the scrapbook and
journaling were finished. She’d used the pictures, scraps of notes and letters,
and even a few lacy handkerchiefs to fill the pages. She felt each item
represented her relatives’ lives.

     Upon reflection, Colleen
realized that Jenny’s school project had brought back the Holidays and Reillys
from days gone by. She felt a smile tug at her lips. Warmth enveloped her as
she thought about her family. She turned to the last page and looked at the
picture of her parents. They smiled up at her. Love filled their eyes.

     “Lord, please let Adam forgive
me. I love him so much, but I’m afraid he won’t forgive me and I will never
find true love again.” Colleen whispered the prayer and closed her scrapbook.

     Her hands moved over the front
cover.
What if Adam doesn’t forgive me?
She would be a lone forever.

     Colleen walked to the stove
where the water in the teakettle boiled. She poured the steaming liquid into a
cup.

     Her thoughts returned to her
morning devotions. She’d skimmed the scripture and the notes in the devotional.
As clear as a summer’s day, Psalm 136:26 echoed through her mind: “
Give
thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever.”
Colleen decided she
should reread the devotional.

     Colleen collected her Bible
and devotional book. She spread them out on the table and began to read aloud.
“God’s love endures forever. People come and people go, but the Lord God
Almighty will always be here for you and will always love you.”

    
My love endures forever.
The
words echoed through her mind. Colleen bowed her head and prayed. For the first
time since Adam left, Colleen felt at peace. Adam might not forgive her, but
she knew with confidence that the Lord would be there for her.

Sunday
morning arrived with fresh snow. Colleen hurried home from the morning
services. She looked forward to having a light lunch and then getting to work.
Last night she’d decided that the photo album needed a cover.

     She pushed the door open with
the help of the winter wind.  Snow blew in with her and she laughed as she
shoved the door closed. Now that she knew the Lord would never desert her, she
looked forward to Adam’s return. It would hurt if he didn’t forgive her, but
thanks to her newfound knowledge, she knew that, in time, she’d be fine.

     Colleen put a pot of water on
the stove and pulled down the chocolate mix. While the water heated, she made a
grilled cheese sandwich and warmed up some tomato soup.

     After hurriedly eating lunch,
Colleen opened the trunk. She searched the many articles of clothing for the
child’s coat. It would be small enough that she wouldn’t have to waste much of
the material.

     What better way to preserve
her family’s memories than to use its lining as the cover for her scrapbook?

     “Here you are.” Colleen pulled
the item of clothing out. The black coat’s lining held as many faded colored
patches. Light green dominated the garment, but faded blues and yellows could
still be distinguished.

     She looked back into the
chest. The coat had been covering a small sewing basket. Colleen pulled it out.
“I wonder if there’s anything in here that I can use.”

     Colleen lifted the wicker lid.
Inside were antique spools of thread and a few rusted needles. The lining of
the little basket was torn in several places. She ran her hand over it and to
her surprise, felt something inside.

     Her heart leaped as she pulled
out an envelope. She set the basket off to the side and stood up and carried
the faded envelope to the table. Then she sat down and opened it.

     Inside she found a piece of
paper. Colleen unfolded the treasure.

     Tears filled her eyes as she
read the letter from the past:

    
My dearest son,

          This quilt is the story
of your family and the love that binds us together as truly as the threads that
hold together these pieces of cloth.

     I began this quilt as a new
bride. I didn’t know any more about sewing than I did about being a wife, but I
knew about love. The pieces of my wedding dress are in here and form the center
block. They are the delicate spring green swatches. It’s the same green, by the
way, you’ll see when the first wildflowers poke their brave heads through the
winter-worn earth.

     There are a few patches of
white in this quilt. They are cut from the shirt your father wore when we got
married. Ah, John, what a fine figure he presented that day! I can still see
him in my mind, so elegant, so handsome, so sure… and so very much in
possession of my heart.

     The little patches were once
your blanket. This was the first earthly fabric that touched your newborn skin.
The Yellow-spotted flannel looked so warm against your infant skin, like God
had poured the sun around your tiny body. It was cold the night you were
born-so cold the doctors breath froze in midair-but you quickly warmed our
hearts.

     As our family grew, so did our
love- and the quilt. Notice how the stitches get more even and practiced on the
other patches. I was just learning in the center section, but the patches,
straggle though they may be, are still holding together after many years of
hard use.

     Love is like that, John. At
first, it’s all very new and awkward, but if you’re willing to put your heart
into it, it’ll hold steadfast. There aren’t any silk or satin, or velvet pieces
in this quilt, but to me, its beauty far exceeds the grandest coverlet. Even
the littlest, most mundane pieces of life make an extraordinary tapestry when
united by love… these scraps of love.

                                  Your
loving mother

                                  Bridget
Streeter Collins

     No longer able to control her
tears, Colleen whipped the streams from her face. Had Grammy known Adam would
enter her life again when he delivered the coat?

     Colleen picked up the coat and
sewing basket, then stood to her feet. She walked back to the kitchen table and
set all the items down. The scraps brought Adam into her life, but indirectly
they had brought her closer to God.

     Colleen reached for her cup of
chocolate. Fear of rejection shot through her as she whispered to the quiet
room, “I have to tell him I love him and ask his forgiveness.”