Scraps of Love (5 page)

     Colleen answered the phone.

     “Can I bother you for a
favor?”

     If Adam’s voice hadn’t been so
full of concern, she would have laughed. Only a man would begin a telephone
conversation like that. “Sure, is something wrong with Jenny?”

     “No, I just need to run into
Durango, and I hate to leave her alone when she’s sick. Would you mind coming
over and sitting with her?”

     She wondered why he’d leave
his sick sister to go to Durango, but since he hadn’t volunteered that
information, Colleen decided it would be better not to ask. “I’ll be over there
in a few minutes.”

     “Thanks. Just let yourself in.
She’s asleep right now. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Adam hung up the phone.

     Colleen hurried to gather a
few things. She grabbed With Out a Trace, a mystery by Colleen Coble she’d been
reading, and a cross-stitch project she had been working on. A small bag of
pinion nuts and a couple of diet colas completed her quick selections as she
hurried out the door.

     Adam’s vehicle was gone from
the driveway when Colleen got to the house. Disappointment gripped her heart.
She’d really hoped she could catch Adam before he left. The thought of seeing
him had sent shivers of anticipation down her arms.

     She let herself in the front
door. Colleen’s mind did a mental inventory of the room. A lamp in the corner
illuminated the cozy room. A large, plush, dark brown couch filled most of the
space. An oversized matching chair sat off to one side, and a mahogany
bookshelf stood beside it. End tables with lamps sitting on them completed the
furniture in the room. Family pictures decorated the walls. She would have
enjoyed looking at each one but decided her first priority was to check in on
Jenny.

     Colleen made her way down the
short hallway. She opened the first door on the left. A very masculine bedroom
greeted her. Adam’s scent assaulted her. She inhaled deeply, enjoying the earth
fragrance. She could tell that Adam used half the room for sleeping; the other
half was a small office.

     She moved on to the next room.
The door stood partway open, so she gave it a gentle push. Plush animals,
posters of young men, and lacy curtains greeted her. Definitely Jenny’s room.
Colleen tiptoed inside.

     Jenny lay on her side with her
arm under her pillow and head. She seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Colleen
turned around and slipped out of the room. She pulled the door halfway closed.

     A bathroom across from Jenny’s
room completed the hallway. Colleen turned around to go back into the living
room. She passed Adam’s room and shut the door.

     She picked up her bag and
decided to put the colas in the refrigerator. The kitchen had been decorated in
rich hunter greens and deep blues. There were no frilly curtains, no cute
magnets on the refrigerator, and no country cup towels hanging about.
Definitely a man’s kitchen. 

     “What are you doing here,
Colleen?”

     Colleen jumped. She spun
around and saw the yawning Jenny standing in the doorway. What was it with the
Walkers? Did they always sneak up on people? Jenny’s pale face stopped Colleen
from scolding her.

     “Adam asked me to come over.”
Colleen opened the fridge and set the colas inside. “How are you feeling?” She
turned back around to face the young girl.

     Jenny sat down at the little
table to the side. “My stomach is still a little queasy. Would it be too much
trouble to make some tea?”

     “Of course not. Where do you
keep it?” Colleen leaned against the counter and smiled.

     “Right behind you in the green
canister.”

     Colleen turned to the cabinet
and opened the doors. Several canisters greeted her. “They’re all green.”

     “The middle one,” Jenny’s
muffled voice answered.

     She pulled the canister down
and opened it. Inside she found a varying collection of tea packets. Colleen
looked over her shoulder at Jenny. The girl sat with her head resting on the
table.

     Colleen looked through the tea
bags. “Chamomile’s suppose to calm the digestive system and soothe stomache
cramps. We’ll try that one.”

     “Okay,” Jenny mumbled from the
table.

     A navy blue teakettle sat on
the back of the stove. She filled it with water. After placing it on the
burner, she turned her attention back to Jenny.

     “The tea should be ready in a
few minutes.” Colleen sat down in the chair next to Jenny.

     Jenny lifted her head.
“Thanks. Mom use to make me tea when I was sick.”

     Colleen smiled as she
remembered. “Mine made me potato soup.”

     “Colleen?”

     She looked up and met Jenny’s
serious gaze. “What?”

     “How old were you when your
mom died?” She fingered the blue and green tablecloth as she waited for an
answer.

     “I had just turned sixteen. My
father was away on a trip to Africa.” Her thoughts went to the night the
policemen had showed up at their house. That had been the worst night of her
life. She’d given up on life and God that night. Thankfully, her Grammy had
been there, or Colleen felt sure she would have done something foolish and
ended her own life.

     “Is that when you moved in
with your Grammy?” Jenny picked at a small thread.

     The teakettle whistled.
Colleen stood up and poured them both a cup of hot water. She handed Jenny a
cup and a tea bag then answered, “No, when my granddaddy Max died, Grammy moved
here to be closer to us and to open her bakery. But after Mom’s death, nothing
was the same.”

     “Really?” Jenny dipped her bag
in the hot water and scooted up in her chair.

     Colleen knew Jenny was fishing
for something. But what? She decided to be honest with the girl. “Sure nothing
was the same. The house didn’t feel like home, and I felt as if my whole world
had come tumbling down around me. My Grammy and dad were grieving, too, so to
me it seemed as though no one cared about me.” She allowed her thoughts to
drift for a moment and then continued explaining her old feelings to Jenny.
“Mom and I were very close. You see, my parents had me late in life. Mom always
told me I was a gift from God because he allowed her to carry me full term. My
parents had lost two babies before me and were afraid they would lose me, too.
So when Mom died, I felt as if I’d lost my best friend, and I didn’t react well
to her loss.”

     Jenny stood and pulled a small
canister of sugar out of one of the many hunter green cabinets. “What did you
do?” She returned to the table and plopped back into her chair.

     “I pouted, blamed God, and
cried a lot.” She bent her head to her drink and peeked at Jenny over the rim
of the cup.

     The teenager’s voice came out
a whisper. “You really did that?”

     Colleen looked up at her. “I’m
not proud of it, but yes. Because I was bitter, I pushed God, Daddy, and Grammy
away from me.”

     “How did you fix it?” Jenny gulped
her hot tea, then winched in pain.

     “At Grammy’s funeral, I took
the advice she had given me years before and turned it all over to God. I asked
Him to forgive me. And He did.” Colleen smiled at the memory of God’s forgiveness.
She glanced over at Jenny. The girl fanned her tongue and frowned.

     “And dat fixed it?” Jenny
asked, sticking her tongue out and waving her hand over the hot spot.

     Colleen laughed. She went to
fridge, pulled open the door, and got Jenny a piece of ice. “Yes, but I still
grieve for my mom and my grandparents. It’s only natural, Jenny.”

     “You really think so?” A tear
slid down Jenny’s cheek.  “Sometimes it feels like my heart is being ripped
from my chest. I miss my mom and dad so much. Adam doesn’t understand me, and
now David and I have broken up. Oh, Colleen, it’s just awful.” She buried her
head in her arms.

     Colleen walked around the
table and pulled a chair up beside Jenny’s. She put her arm around the girl’s
shoulders and hugged her close. “I know it is.”

     She found herself repeating
the advice of her grandmother.   “Jenny, If you will turn all the hurt over to
God, he will heal the wounds of your soul.”

     Adam glanced down at his
watch. He groaned. Three o’clock. The emergency room had taken forever to
finish treating Cassie. What must Colleen think? He hurried into the house and
found her asleep on the couch.

     He stood for several long
moments just staring down at her sleeping face. Should he let her sleep? Wake
her up? Or just continue to stare at her? If he let her sleep, would her
reputation be ruined by those who might see her leave in the morning? The
questions buzzed around his tired mind.

     Adam moved to the closet at
the end of the hall and pulled out a soft quilt. Made with flannel on one side
and a cotton print on the other, comfortable was the only way to describe it.
He smiled as he carried the colorful wedding ring quilt back to the living
room.

     Jenny stuck her head out of
her door. She whispered, “Is Colleen spending the night?”

     Adam walked back to her. “How
are you feeling?”

     “Much better.”

     “Good. I’m sorry I took so
long. Cassie needed me to do something for her tonight, and it took longer than
we’d planned.” He glanced over his shoulder and down the hall. “Do you think I
should wake Colleen or let her stay the rest of the night?”

     He felt his little sister
studying his profile. Adam turned his attention back to Jenny. The tilt of her
head and the glow in her eyes made him realize he’d never asked her advice
before. Why hadn’t he? She was old enough to make some decisions. He decided he
must be more tired than he’d first thought.

     “Let her stay.” Jenny smiled
and turned back into her bedroom. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

     Adam stuck his head in the
door. “Jenny, I have to go to work early tomorrow. I’ll probably be gone before
you or Colleen wake up.”

     She yawned. “I’ll set my alarm
for six. That should give us both time to get up and get going, don’t ya
think?” Jenny reached for the clock beside her bed.

     That should be plenty of time.
Night.”

     He went to Colleen. She lay in
the same position she’s been in earlier. Adam spread the quilt over her and
returned to his bedroom.

     Adam set the alarm clock for
four-thirty. He’d only get an hour of sleep, but by leaving early, he’d avoid
being seen in the early morning hours with Colleen. He lay down across his bed,
and right before he went to sleep, he heard the door open and close.

     Adam pulled himself up and
went to the living room. Colleen was gone. The quilt lay neatly folded on the
couch. The sound of her car starting filled the night air. Adam looked out the
window and watched her drive away. He returned to his bedroom. Just as sleep
overtook him, Adam decided he could see himself married to Colleen. She would
be a good wife, and he knew she loved God.

     When had thoughts of marriage
entered his mind? Was this something God was bringing to his attention?

     Two weeks later, Colleen
marveled at the difference in her baking skills. Thanks to Jenny’s lessons,
Colleen could now make several different types of pastries. She and Jenny had
fallen into the habit of making dinner for all three of them. While the meal
cooked, they worked on their scrapbooks, adding this item and taking away that
one. Adam usually arrived in time to eat with them.

     Colleen suspected he had
decided to spend this time restoring the bond between himself and Jenny. She
could see the two of them growing closer every day. After dinner, Adam and
Jenny looked over photos and reminisced about their childhoods.

     Inevitably, Colleen sank
deeper into loneliness. Her own pictures brought back memories as well. She
missed her mother and Grammy Leah. At times, she longed to see them, talk to
them, pour out her heart, then cry on their shoulders offered with sympathy and
caring.

     Another problem that snipped
away at her conscience was the fact that Adam was seeing Cassie. Colleen had
seen them several times from a distance. She thought about that for a moment.
They really hadn’t acted like a couple, but then maybe she was just fooling
herself.

     Colleen pulled her coat on and
prepared to go to the grocery store. Her thoughts returned immediately to Adam
and the last few days together. He had a sweet tooth, and his favorite way of
appeasing it was to go out for ice cream. He’d invited her out twice, and even
though the evenings were getting much cooler and ice cream wouldn’t have been
her first choice for a dessert, Colleen hadn’t turned him down.

     She closed the door and headed
down the quant dirt street toward the only grocery store in town. Colleen ducked
her head against the sharp wind and made a mental note to get more hot
chocolate. Once more Adam invaded her thoughts. He’d invited her to dinner the
night before. She wished she’d taken him up on the date.

     “It wasn’t a real date,”
Colleen whispered to herself. It was an invitation, not a date. Adam only
appreciated the change in Jenny. His request was because of gratitude, not
romantic interest, Colleen told herself as she pushed the door open and entered
the citrus-scented store. She picked up a small red basket and made her way to
the produce section.

     Just when she had convinced
herself Adam wasn’t really interested, a small voice nagged at her.
If he’s
not interested in you, then why did he start attending your church and sitting
by you during service?

     She felt the gentle pull of a
smile as it touched her lips. He had started attending First Community Church
And he did sit by her.

     “Hello, Colleen, Isn’t the
weather turning nasty?”

     Colleen looked into the soft
brown eyes of Cassie Masters. She held the smile in place. “Hi Cassie. It is
getting cold out there.”

     “Daddy says it’s going to be a
harsh winter. I hope he’s wrong.” She rested a protective hand on her stomach.
“It wouldn’t do for me to catch a cold in my condition.” Cassie’s voice held a
far-off dreamy texture to it.

     She knew she was being nosey,
but Colleen couldn’t stop the words from popping from her lips. “Are you ill?”

     Cassie looked up at her as if
she’d forgotten she’d been talking to her. Colleen watched a soft smile form at
the woman’s lips.

     “Oh, I just have to tell
someone besides Adam.” Cassie looked around and leaned toward Colleen. “Please
don’t tell anyone, but…” She paused, looked around again and whispered, “I’m
pregnant.”

     The way her brown eyes
sparkled told Colleen that Cassie was a little more than thrilled about the
prospect. “Please don’t tell anyone. Daddy would have a fit. So far the only
one who knows is Adam. He took the news in stride and has been helping me keep
it a secret.”

     Colleen didn’t know what to
say. She wondered if her face showed the amount of shock she felt at the news.
They weren’t even married, and Cassie was acting as if having a baby out of
wedlock was the best thing in the world. “I won’t say anything to anyone. Adam
knows?” She asked the last to make sure she’d heard Cassie right.

     Cassie picked up a tomato and
gave it a little squeeze. “Oh, yes. He’s been real good about helping me with…”
She looked around again and then continued, “The doctor’s appointments and
stuff.”

     Colleen chose two tomatoes and
put them into a plastic bag. She felt as if someone had kicked her in the
stomach.

     She silently prayed in
anguish.
Why, God? Why can’t I find someone to love me?

      “No, I don’t want to go out
with you, Adam Walker.”

     Adam stared into Colleen’s
flashing green eyes. Her face radiated pure anger. Now what had he done? He did
a mental inventory. Nothing came to mind except asking her to dinner at the
Handlebar Restaurant. What was wrong with her?

     “I can’t believe you would
even ask.” She marched back into the bakery kitchen.

     He followed. The smell of warm
cinnamon rolls welcomed him. “Why wouldn’t I ask you out?” Adam watched her
grab an apron and tie it around her slender waist.

     Colleen pulled the buns from
the oven and slammed the pan on top of the stove. She turned and glared at him.
“For starters, there’s Cassie Masters.”

     She was jealous! So Colleen
did have feelings for him.

     He smiled. Now that Richard
was coming home to collect his wife, Adam could tell Colleen the truth about
his and Cassie’s relationship.

     But first he’d tease her a
little. “What does she have to do with me taking you out>: He wiggled his
eyebrows and leaned over the bar that separated them.

     She met him at the counter.
Her words came out slow and chopped. “Let’s see…” She drummed her fingernails,
then continued. “She might not want the father of her baby out dating other
women.” Colleen pushed herself away from him.

     Adam tried to absorb her
words. They echoed in his ears. Why would Colleen think such a think? He and
Cassie had never even held hands.

     Colleen continued. “How could
you do such a think? I thought you were a man of God. I thought you were better
than everyone else. I thought…” The rest of her sentence hung in the air.

     Adam watched the anger seep
from her eyes. Tears filled them-and loathing. He had questions of his own. How
could she think such a thing of him? Why hadn’t she asked him about it instead
of questioning him like a common criminal?

     “I know what you thought and
what you’re thinking now.” He swallowed as sorrow threatened to choke him.

     The phone rang. He watched as
Colleen turned to answer it. He thought he was in love with her before, but now
he knew it. This kind of pain could only be inflicted by those you love.   

     But how could he love a woman
who didn’t believe in him? A woman who would judge him before hearing all the
details?

     He couldn’t.

     His gaze moved to the table
where he’d spent many evenings falling in love. The scrapbook projects were
almost complete.  After tonight, he wouldn’t be coming back to the warmth of
Colleen’s home. He had to put some distance between them.
She’s not the
woman I thought she was,
he decided.

     Colleen covered the mouthpiece
to the phone and whispered, “Adam, this call is going to take awhile. It’s my
dad from Africa. Can we talk about this some other time?”

     He studied her face. She was
serious. “Sure, but I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t say anything to Jenny
about this.”

     “I won’t,” She mouthed, then
returned to her phone call.

     “I’m sorry…”

    
Just like that, Colleen
dismissed me
, Adam thought bitterly as he let himself out. His feet carried
him to the little cemetery on the hill. It was the only place in town where he
felt it would be safe for him to voice his hurts. He stopped beside the graves
of his parents, Mary and Robert Walker.