School Pranks

School Pranks

School Pranks

Louisa

Evelyn

Carter

TC Wheeler Publications

New York

School Pranks

Edna Calhoun

© 2014

This book is a work of fiction. Names, Characters, places and incidents have been produced by the author’s imagination or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual persons, living or deceased, or to any actual events or precise locales, is entirely coincidental or within public domain.

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher. Printed in the United States of America

TC Wheeler Publications

PO Box 110138

Cambria Heights, NY 11411

[email protected]

Cover Design: Sterling Design Studios

Editor: TC Wheeler (TC Wheeler Publications)

ISBN: 978-0-9911758-2-6

CONTENTS

Preface………………………………………………......1

Introduction………………………………………….....2

Meet the Teacher…...11

First Employment……………………...……………….13

Teacher Salary………………………………………….15

Employment Change

       (Laketown) Second Employment…………………17

Integration

       (Patterson-Stanton)…………………………...........32

Consolidation……………………………………............41

Mr. Allen Reece………………………………………....46

Teacher Evaluation…………………………………......50

Allen Reece

       (Evaluator)………………………………………….52

Mr. Stone Murphy

       (Headmaster)……………………………………………58

Ms. Green and Mr. Murphy

       (January, 2000)……………………………………..64

Ms. Green: Evaluator…………………………………..68

Mrs. Lewis: Evaluator………………………………….77

Dromedary…………………………………………...….84

Mr. Murphy and Discipline……………………………97

Different Perceptions…………………………………………......105

The Headmaster…………………………….................108

Firing…....120

Education Board……………………………................122

The Courts…………………………………………......127

Conclusion………………………………………….….129

A Microscopic View………………………..............….139

Invitation…...140

The Greeting……………………………..................…142

       (Ms. Forest Visits Sir Goodson)

Student Evaluation…………………………................155

Postscript (What If)………………………………..….166

Meet the Author…………………………………….....179

School Pranks Is Dedicated

TO:

Education Improvement

Cover design of this book illustrates pertinent information. The model pictures Miss Forest who is elegant. She gracefully strolls while a book is thrown at her pranksters hidden from view. Notice the thickness of the book. It contains numerous pranks designed by the pranksters, school officials, dedicated to the task of collecting enough evidence to label Miss Forest an
incompetent
teacher.
This book is used as a “Stumbling block”. Its purpose: To cause Miss Forest to stumble and fall when contact was made with a prank from their book. Thus documenting evidence that her classroom work was unfit, incompetent; but contact was never made with Miss Forest to prove her incompetence. Why? Because each time the pranksters threw their “stumbling block” at her, it fell short of its target; Miss Forest. It never contacted her, therefore, they have no evidence. The only documentation accomplished was their odd method of professionalism. Were the pranksters able to achieve their goal? Yes. How did the firing happen without evidence? That’s the way the system operates. How is the system now? The most recent grade for the system is “F”. Are they satisfied with an “F”? Let’s just say it continues to function.

Firing a teacher with Miss Forest’s qualifications means Grade A is overlooked in this system. Miss Forest was aware of fellow teachers in this system were treated likewise. She thought it best to contact the system fairy ruler Earl. Many fairy citizens encouraged and supported her. In the meantime, Ruler Earl considered the firing absurd! Has that type of act ever happened? He was skeptical. He put that case on his Legislature agenda. His attention was focused on Miss Forest. He admired her bravery, her integrity, her intellect, and all qualities recommended by him to each fairy citizen to have to make this domain (nation) prosperous and peaceful.

Preface

     School Pranks is an education fairytale. Although fictitious, none the less the pranks described have a strong resemblance to fact.  From School Pranks comes a bird’s eye view into the complicated network of major problems involved in operating the public school system (U.S.A.), which are blocking the success of public education.

     Prominent blockages of success to the public education system are lack of discipline and inappropriate use of money.  Other problems which exist result from either of these problems, or a combination of both.  Both problems (discipline and money) urgently need attention!  School Pranks was written as a guide to achieve a better understanding of these problems via classroom experience and examines tactics presently used in the education process.  It suggests ways of improvement and elimination.

     Pranks used in this writing were professionally designed and executed with amateurish overtones, causing a variety of moods, light and serious ones.  These pranks are comical, hilarious, and grotesque; they are also entertaining and educational.

     Contributors to School Pranks have spent a total of more than three hundred years of experience in public school classrooms making nations more reliable.

Introduction

Background

     Happenings in School Pranks occurred in the Kingdom of Grande`, a fairyland located off the coast of Ocean Peace, West of the Western Hemisphere.  Native ferries used the word grand in naming their wonderful nation because it is the only word on their Consideration List of names that gave the most accurate description of its environment.  Hence, Grande`.  Grande` is breathtakingly beautiful! Nature has bountifully provided it with benefits for good healthy and luxurious living.  This Kingdom is richly endowed with an assortment of magnificent gardens and orchards.  Early in its history citizens of Grande` lived off whatever goods the island produced.  Farming was big then, and is big now.  Today, several industries have located, making it more modern. A-ha!  The multi-racial population has a life expectancy of ninety-nine (99) years.  The common language, English, is spoken with a distinct accent; it’s unmistakable- representing strength, confidence, and love.  Visitors are excited with its voice power.  They are admired by fairy beings throughout Kingdoms of all fairylands.  Democracy, a spin-off from the government of the U.S.A., is used to govern its citizens.

     But, in spite of its grandeur though, a serious problem disturbs the citizens. Something is hindering the pace for ideal economic growth and improvement.  This problem can be traced centuries into the past.  Usually, the identification of a problem leads to a solution.  But not so on this island.  This island is not average; it is different. It is opposite everything standard.  For example, in Grande` instead of usual happenings taking place, frequently unusual things have occurred.  On this island abnormality usually takes precedence over normality.  Instead of considering the thinkable, often citizens in the most responsible prominent positions use a large portion of their time meditating on the unthinkable.  Vacationers have frequently noticed mistrust existing among many citizens.  From an outsider, this practice of mistrust perhaps results from limited communication among the citizens.  A combination of any or all such faults could contribute to difficulty in identifying any problem.

     But, like any nation, not all the citizens in The Kingdom of Grande` are such as the ones just described.  There are citizens also possessing inbred qualities such as character, and charm, and the like!  These citizens reasoned something positive must happen, and must happen very soon, or a crisis will occur right here in Grande`.  Contact with fellow citizens throughout the Kingdom of Grande` for a conference to carefully think over this complicated problem was made.

     A meeting was scheduled.  On the day of the meeting all members were in attendance.  After much pondering, these responsible citizens reached a unanimous conclusion.  It was Thus: The problem which was causing lack of desired improvement in this Kingdom was found in its public school system.  They were confident of their decisions, which is based on evidence.

     These citizens hurriedly informed the system’s heavyweight educators of Grande` the result of their conference; the disturbing factor was low test scores.  Those citizens were disturbed over the academic under functioning of the students in the public schools of The Kingdom of Grande`. When compared with students enrolled in public schools in every fairyland, Grande’s students ranked among the lowest.  These citizens reasoned with students of Grande` with
effort
. The students were told they were just as
capable
of ranking among the brightest of students as well as they did in ranking with the lowest.  Their rank (level) was chosen by themselves!  They settled for low scores; that is not accepted.  We have to teach them that choosing high was the best!

     Citizens encouraged the educators to raise the expectation level of the students; that act alone would bring success.  Before departure citizens assured the group of educators full support would be given until the work was completed.  All that was expected of the educators was to bring each student to their highest achievement level.  Educators assured the citizens student improvement would be noticeable within the term.  With that positive satisfying statement the conference ended with friendly handshakes.  The citizens exited the conference room leaving the educators to continue work on a student improvement plan.

     The educators discussed the problem more thoroughly. The more it was discussed, the more difficult the problem seemed.  Then the boldest in the group offered a suggestion: 

“Since it appeared the problem was too much for them to solve, then why not seek advice from one of the wise farries?”

With a sigh of relief all agreed.  There are two wise farries who live in this kingdom and both are capable of handling all kinds of problems (the educators reasoned).  Solving this complex problem required wisdom of the right kind.  The kind of solution given by these fairybeings is determined by their name.  So, which of these fairybeings is right for them?  After several days of discussions, Sir Goodson, the good fairybeing was chosen their counselor.  The Division of Education appointed eleven (11) educators called Representatives, to carry out that duty.  After all, they were to speak and act for all citizens.  Everybody was satisfied – that’s the way they voted.  The problem was considered urgent; therefore the Representatives began work immediately on the solution.  The nation of Grande` took care of finances.

The Journey to House of Time

     The Representatives used two late model station wagons for this trip.  The journey was pleasurable.  After traveling one and one half (1 ½) hours they reached the immaculate House of Time, residence of Sir Goodson.  Arrival time was early afternoon.  They were greeted by a palace guard, who informed Sir Goodson of their presence.  Message was sent to the Representatives via palace guard that Sir Goodson would see them immediately.  He ushered them into Conference Headquarters in the presence of him.

     After the formality and the statement of the purpose for their visitation, the Representatives were ready for the much needed advice.  Each Representative had a pad and other material in readiness for writing each spoken word of Sir Goodson.  Looking upon the countenances of those representatives with fatherly compassion, Sir Goodson; the good fairybeing stately advised:

“The soundness of fairybeing can be traced to the quality of their education!”

He congratulated the Representatives for their intellect in identifying the problem which was in the way of progress at Grande`. 

“In this situation” said the good fairybeing,

“Nearly half of the problem has already been solved.” 

The Representatives were proud of themselves for their “deep” thinking.  Sir Goodson continued,

“Thoroughly check, through testing, your curriculum to determine how well your students read and write.  If, after a reasonable time limit, failure commonly occur and is generally accepted by students in these areas, immediately require improvement.  Do not tolerate weak excuses from students…”

“Require less record keeping from your teachers.  Teaching and learning happen in a calm environment, with a feeling of belonging amongst everybody.”

     “Are your teachers’ assigned exorbitant extracurricular work?” asked Sir Goodson.  There was a long pause.  They did not know what to say.  How can they answer when teachers often complained that extra duties took joy out of teaching much of the time?  So the Representatives thought it best not to answer.  And, seeing their predicament that seemingly defiled a satisfactory answer, the good fairybeing continued his advice. 

“Stop assigning such duties. It’s too much.  Some teachers are stressed out when they enter the classroom.  These type assignments take much of the joy from teaching, which is a cause of poor educational results.  When you all have solved that part of the problem (reading, writing and extracurricular teacher work), return to me for more instruction.”

With awe and admiration, the Representatives gladly received the wisdom of Sir Goodson.  The spokesperson for the Representatives officially accepted the advice with a statement of gratitude.  After paying special honor to Sir Goodson, all joyously departed from his presence, feeling confident of the know how needed to get that job done had been disclosed to them.

     Some Representatives however, thought it clever to drop in on the bad fairybeing, Master Badly.  After all, there was nothing to lose since his advice was free and there was no travel expense, because The Nation of Grande` paid all expenses of this kind.  All agreed.

     The bad fairybeing had a habit of reversing the letters in his name when he felt creative.  When using badly he meant his personality was mild.  But the name Badly was used most often.  That form of his name made him feel strong, wicked, and daring.  On the day the Representatives visited The House of Greatness, the residence of Master Badly, for a conference seeking his advice, the name which represents strength was used.  After reaching his residence, the Representatives were directed to a parking space and ushered into his official residence.  When they came into the presence of the bad fairybeing and stated their reason for coming, Master Badly inquired of them whether advice of the good fairybeing had been sought.  Most of the time when advice had been sought, Sir Goodson was sought after first.  This made Master Badly jealous and he became more and more envious of the good fairybeing who is considered much wiser than the bad fairybeing.  They answered positively for they had visited with fairybeing Sir Goodson.

“I don’t know,” he continued carefully with,

“This modern stuff keeps coming here to Grande`.” 

So we need to be more like them.  You know “happy and peppy” – whatever that is.  The people know too much already.  Now for these public schools, hold back on them some.  That way you’ll keep them from asking questions because they will not know what to ask.  If anybody in those public schools teach like the good fairybeing recommended, just get rid of them.  You’ll be rich and powerful and the people will be poor and always be in trouble with the “law” because they are unlearned.  They heartily thanked Master Badly, the bad fairybeing for his advice on the difficult problem and politely left his presence, and headed back to Dromedary, Grande`.

   At the next town, Sparrows, they stopped at the largest café, Watermelon, for a snack.  While dining at Watermelon, a conference was held concerning the device they had shortly received from each fairybeing.  The focus: which fairy’s wisdom was best?  They reviewed each advice and carefully compared the consequence; One Representative thoughtfully raised a “deep” question – what results were they seeking?  That question lifted a burden from the shoulders of their minds.  None of them sought after good, therefore the advice of the good fairybeing was eliminated altogether.  So then, the bad fairybeing, Master Badly must be what was wanted and desired.  They concluded that his advice was easier and better for them.  All that was needed to carry out his advice, they reasoned, was a devious plan with a high-sounding title.  Someone suggested “Teacher Improvement Plan” would be appropriate. “Yes,” but it would be more effective if it was more insulting, suggested another Representative.  The title being sought was one that had sting. “Remedial” was discussed.  Hence the title became Remedial Teacher Improvement Plan.

“Perfect,” they thought.  The plan was designed to rid the public school system of good teachers.  First, begin the elimination process by starting with the best teacher(s) – the reputable ones.  By doing that act, other good teachers would be threatened and “fall-in-line” with the status quo.

     Hurriedly the Representatives returned to Dromedary.  A meeting was scheduled with citizens of statuses for the presentation of their education plan.  Everybody looked forward to this report with great expectation. Information was dramatically presented by the Representatives, with an air of confidence; Citizens enthusiastically received the presentation.  Omitted from the report was one pertinent fact – its source of origin.  If the source of the plan had been revealed, the citizens most likely would have rejected the information at once.  It was anti-educational. The plan called for the harassment of and the eventual dismissal of the best teachers.  The first teacher named for dismissal was Miss Forest.  She is Grade “A” – Certified; Superior evaluated; and has an advanced degree.  To rid the system of a teacher such as Miss Forest required little effort.  With the “know how”, a good teacher can be eliminated at-the-“drop-of-a-hat,” they mused.  Details of this accomplishment were omitted.  Representatives were jubilant while Citizens were apprehensive.  Using their last measure of persuasion the Representatives promised results citizens desired most for their students.  Despite desired results promised, Citizens still expressed serious reservations for the use of the plan.  Before approval could be given two other questions were asked.  Citizens asked whether that plan had been tried before.  If “yes” was the circumstance the same as in this situation?  The Representatives did not know the answer to those questions.  With pleading looks and a trust-me-attitude, Citizens reluctantly permitted the plan representatives put so much confidence in being used in their public school system.  Success was guaranteed.