Scary Dead Things - 02 (33 page)

“Say that again. I didn't hear you.”

A hoarse whisper met my ear, “Hit me again, and I'll gut you.”

* * *

“Are you OK?” I asked as she started to finally come to...and yes, I realize what a dumb question it was, considering her new southpaw status. I figured it was a safer question than, “So, will you be going with a stainless steel hook or one of those nifty new titanium models?”

“What happened?” she asked while I helped her to a sitting position. She'd need some blood soon, but for now her vampire physiology seemed to be snapping her out of it. Vampires are tough fuckers to keep down if you don't manage to kill them outright.

“You were...(
God, please give me the strength to not say it
)...disarmed.” (
Thanks for nothing, God
)

Sure it wasn't the most sporting thing to say, but it definitely brought Sally all the way out of her funk, as her eyes cleared and she gave me the ugliest of glares.

She held up the stump of her arm and stared at it, her eyes unreadable. Finally, she said in a small voice, “Shit...”

“Don't worry, they can do wonders with prosthetics these...”

“...it's gonna take weeks for that to grow back,” she finished.

“It grows back?”

“Yeah. It’s going to take a lot longer than usual, though. Fairly sure those assholes were using silver.”

“Hey, as long as it'll grow back at all,” I replied, my voice serious. “Most people would consider that a lucky thing.”

“I guess so.”

“So don't worry,” I continued, lightening my tone. “You'll be back to giving double happy endings at the massage parlor in no time.” Her response was an eye-roll. Yeah, she was going to be OK.

“So where are we?” she asked, looking around.

“No idea. Top of some building, it looks like.”

“Thanks,
Scooby Doo
. Nice to know you're around to solve all of life's mysteries,” she quipped. “How did we get here?  Did the assassins just decide to leave us alive?”

“I don't think so,” I said, remembering back to the rage I felt when I thought she had been killed.

“Why?”

I explained what had happened, maybe downplaying that it was her 'death' that caused me to Hulk out...no need to inflate her ego anymore than it was. I told her how I felt that change come over me again and then everything went red.

“Scary. Guess there's more to this Freewill thing than either of us knows.”

“Not sure I want to know. I'm not big on the whole
Jekyll and Hyde
thing playing itself out in my head.”

“Whatever happened, it looks like you did a job on them, though,” she said, indicating my clothes. I looked down and saw they were absolutely soaked with blood.

“Yours, probably.”

“Some of it yes, but not all. It's not yours either,” she replied.

“Let me guess, you can smell it?”

“You really need to practice this vampire thing a little more. You're starting to embarrass me with these stupid questions.”

“Speaking of stupid things, we need to get out of here,” I replied. “Sun's going to be coming up soon, and if we're still here yakking away when it does...well, that's just going to be pathetic.”

“Agreed...” and then she mumbled something I didn’t quite catch.

“What was that?” I asked.

She sighed and responded, “I said, ‘Thanks for saving me’.”

“I don't remember even saving myself,” I admitted.

“I know, but whatever it was you did, you remembered to take me with you when you did it. That tells me there was still some of
you
in there driving the school bus.”

I hadn't thought of that. That actually made it a little less scary...not much, mind you, but it was enough for now.

* * *

We managed to get down to street level without being seen. The hatch leading down from the roof had been locked from the inside, leading me to believe I had somehow Spider-Manned my way up there. However, locks aren't much of a deterrent for a pair of determined vampires. Fortunately for us, the stairwell was empty. Two blood-soaked intruders, one of whom had a gaping wound where her hand used to be, were bound to attract a little attention.

We were able to get our bearings, realizing we were a good mile downtown from the loft. Fortunately, there was a subway entrance less than a block away. We could use it to get into the tunnels, and thus the sewers, so we could make our way back unseen.

“Do you think it's safe?” I asked as we hopped the turnstiles (
screw you, NY MTA!
) and made our way towards the dark underground.

“I don't think anywhere is particularly safe after last night. But I have a feeling that you gave the Chinese vamps a bloody nose, at the very least. They're probably lying low right now. As long as we don't get supremely unlucky and wander directly into them, we should be OK.”

“Don't jinx us,” I added.

“Point taken. Although the smell down here should be enough to clog even the most sensitive vamp's nostrils,” she said, turning down a maintenance tunnel.

“I can see what you mean,” I said, sniffing. “Nothing like the smell of rancid ass to cover your tracks.”

“Speaking of rancid things, I need to make a little pit stop,” she said, suddenly slowing her pace.

“What are you talking about?”

She gestured towards a little nook close by. Inside of it, huddled under a moldy blanket, was a sleeping homeless man. Judging from the ripe smell, he was taking a nap with his good buddy
Jim Beam
.

In the darkness, I looked confusingly between Sally and the hobo before I realized that her fangs were extended and her eyes were turning black.

“Do you really have to?” I asked.

“Normally, this is a bit beneath my standards. But I've had a long day. You can turn around if it makes you uncomfortable.”

I did. Sometimes, I can almost forget the whole vampire thing. This, however, was not destined to be one of those times.

* * *

When she had finished, she walked past me and started leading the way again.

“Feeling better?” I asked.

“Yes and no. It's going to take me at least a week to wash the taste of him out of my mouth.”

“Did you really have to kill him?”

“Sorry to offend your bookish sensibilities, but I was almost wiped out,” she replied. “Another few steps, and I’d have dropped again. I needed to fill up the old gas tank.”

“Well, judging by the smell of that guy, you definitely went with the high octane.” Damn, did I really just say that? I'm definitely starting to get desensitized to this crap. That alone gave me a not-so-fresh feeling inside.

We continued to walk, Sally leading the way. It seemed she had a purpose in mind.

“Where are we headed?” I finally asked.

“The office.”

“As in the office the assassins already know about? The office where they left you a gift basket full of severed heads?”

“The same,” she answered.

“So you acknowledge you've either gone insane, suicidal, or both?”

“Perhaps a little of the first, but none of the second,” she replied. “I set the security alarms before I left last time. These guys may be good, but I'm willing to bet they're about as technically adept as cavemen. If they're waiting for us, we'll have plenty of warning.”

“You did clean up those heads before you left, right?”

“I put them into storage.”

“
Storage
!? What for?” I exclaimed.

“Waste not, want not. I’m debating maybe lining the walkway to my office with them. That should keep the complaints down a minimum.”

“And yet,” I mused, “I actually saved your crazy ass back there.”

“Exactly. You need
someone
to live vicariously through.”

* * *

After another half hour of traversing tunnels, things started to look familiar. I didn't spend too much time in the sewers myself, but I had still thought it prudent to know the emergency exits of all our properties nevertheless. We finally came to a ladder that went up to the basement of our destination. Every few feet, Sally would stop and reach out with her senses. So far, so good.

We got up and used a back stairwell to make it to our floor. Thankfully, it was still early enough so the regular businesses that shared the building weren't open yet.

“So why exactly are we here?” I asked.

“There's a supply closet and a shower in the back. We can get cleaned up and lay low until sundown.”

“I couldn't help but notice the words
shower
and
we
in that exchange.”

“Keep dreaming,” she replied. “I'm going to need to lose a lot more than one hand to go that loopy.”

The alarms hadn't been tripped, so Sally let us in and locked the doors behind us. To quote an overused phrase, the place was quiet as a tomb. Once we had made a thorough casing of the joint and come to the conclusion that we were alone, Sally walked into her office and sat down to relax. I followed her so that we could have a talk.

“After the sun goes down, I'm dropping you off at the safe house with the rest of the coven. Starlight can look after you,” I said with a tone of finality.

Of course, with Sally I could have added “pretty please with sugar on top” and it wouldn't have made a bit of difference. She listened to orders every bit as well as Gan did. Must be a female thing. Thusly, she shook her head. “No way. I said I was sticking with you, and I meant it.”

“You're done. You've had more than enough. Next time, you might not get so lucky. I'll make sure Gan is OK and then try to end this by myself.”

“No chance.”

“I'm serious,
lefty
,” I said, indicating her stump. “You weren't a match for them before. You definitely aren't now.”