Scarred (Unlikely Heroes Book 5) (7 page)

Rolling away and hunkering behind the table, Sebastian glanced around. He was in a small kitchen. He snatched up a chair from beside the table and kept it between him and the dog. The beast snarled again and lunged.

Sebastian lifted the chair and knocked the animal aside.

Footsteps pounded into the room. The light clicked on.

A gangly Hispanic man in his early twenties came to a halt in the kitchen doorway. His gaze locked on Sebastian.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“Your worst nightmare.”

The beast came at him again. Sebastian slammed the chair at the dog. The animal yelped and fell back, limping away. It didn’t try to attack a third time.

The man lifted a gun and pointed it at Sebastian.

Sebastian leapt at the guy, kicking the gun aside. He wrapped his arm around the guy’s throat and locked him in a choke hold. The man struggled, but Sebastian held tight, slowly squeezing off the guy’s oxygen. He wouldn’t kill him, just knock him out.

Finally the man went limp. Sebastian lowered him to the floor. He snatched up the guy’s gun and stuffed it into the waistband of his own jeans. The guy wouldn’t be out for long. A few seconds. Sebastian pulled a zip tie from his back pocket and zipped the guy’s hands together behind his back before he woke. He dragged the man over to the corner and leaned him against the wall.

He needed to hurry and get to Scar.

Sebastian glanced over at the brindle Pitbull that had attacked him when he’d first entered the house. The dog cowered in the corner, eyeing him warily, licking a fresh wound on its leg that had been caused by the wooden chair.

“Sorry buddy,” he whispered. “Just defending myself.” He might be able to save that one. If he was lucky.

The man moaned from the corner where Sebastian had propped him against the wall. Sebastian headed for the kitchen doorway. Crouching low, he peered around the corner just as another man strode forward.

“What’s going on in there, Julio?”

Sebastian attacked.

A strike to the neck, another to the gut. The man gasped, choked, stumbling forward, his eyes wide.

Sebastian wrapped an arm around the man’s throat and squeezed.

“Where’s my dog?” he hissed in the man’s ear.

The man gasped and squirmed. “In…in there!” He motioned down a small hallway to the next room. Sebastian kept squeezing until the man passed out. He dropped him to the floor and zip-tied his hands together.

Sebastian slipped down the hallway to the next room, pausing in the doorway. Two men were in the room, along with Scar and another dog. One man held Scar by the collar while the other guy held a snarling, squirming brown Pitbull that pulled at its leash, trying to get to Scar.

Scar lowered his head in shame, cowering away from the other dog, probably remembering when he’d been used as a bait dog as a pup. Sebastian could feel Scar’s pain and terror as clearly as if it were his own. His heart clenched.

Sebastian yanked the gun out of his pants and stuck it against the head of the man who was closest to the door, the one who held the fighting dog.

“Let my dog go and I might not kill you.”

The man went still, lifting his arms in the air. The fighting dog broke free and raced for Scar.

Shit.

Sebastian had no choice. He pointed the gun and fired, hitting the dog in the side. The animal dropped abruptly and lay still, blood slowly spilling out of the bullet wound and onto the floor.

The man tackled him.

They crashed to the floor.

The gun soared out of Sebastian’s hand. Sebastian crawled toward the gun while the other man tried to beat him to it. Grabbing the man’s legs, Sebastian pulled him back from the gun. The man flipped over and lunged for Sebastian’s throat. Sebastian rolled to the side, out of the way. He spun around and jerked the guy’s arm back into an arm bar, pulling it tight. The man screamed.

“I give!” he shouted. “Don’t break my arm, please!”

Sebastian released him and snatched up the gun. The man rolled away, groaning in pain.

The other man, the one holding onto Scar’s collar, had been watching the struggle without comment. He inched back toward the wall with Scar, his gaze never leaving Sebastian’s.

Sebastian lifted the gun and pointed it at him. “Let my dog go. Now. Or you’re next.”

“I don’t think so. You know who I am?” The man thumped his palm against his chest. “I’m Jimmy, the boss. No one tells me what to do.”

Jimmy yanked a knife from his pocket and thrust it into Scar’s chest, burying it deep.

Sebastian hissed in a breath.

No!

“You killed my dog.” Jimmy glowered at him. “Now I kill yours.”

Scar whined softly. His gaze locked on Sebastian’s, begging, pleading.
Save me, Sebastian.
Scar’s legs buckled and he went limp, falling onto the floor. He laid his head down and closed his eyes.

Sebastian’s heart caved in.

No! You son-of-a-fucking-bitch!

Jimmy rose to his feet and kicked Scar out of his way.

Sebastian’s hand shook.

Kill him.

He forced his hand still, keeping the gun steady on Scar’s killer.

“You owe me two more dogs,” Jimmy said as he advanced on Sebastian. “You killed three of mine. I killed one of yours.” He lifted a hand and held up two fingers. “Two more and then we’re even.”

Sebastian’s finger twitched on the trigger. He flicked his gaze down to Scar. Blood pooled beneath Scar’s black coat and onto the floor. Scar wasn’t moving. Wasn’t breathing.

I’m not a killer. I’m not.

Yes, you are. You can kill when you have to.

No! I won’t do it!

He killed Scar.

He
killed
Scar!

Sebastian pulled the trigger.

Jimmy jerked back with a loud scream, clutching his shoulder where the bullet had struck him.

“You shot me!”

Keeping the gun trained on Scar’s killer, Sebastian bent and scooped Scar into his arms.

His heart seized. He went cold everywhere, his limbs turning to ice.

“Now we’re even.” Sebastian turned from the room with Scar. “If I see you again, I
will
kill you, Jimmy. And all your buddies too.”

He walked out, his body numb with shock.

No one tried to stop him.

Sebastian tossed the gun over the fence into the yard next door as he strode to his Beemer parked down the street. He gently laid Scar’s body in the passenger’s seat, not caring that the dog’s blood soaked the expensive leather. He went around to the driver’s side, his movements stiff with shock.

They’d killed Scar.

The sweet pup who’d helped keep him sane in a time of insanity.

Scar.

Who’d helped Sebastian stay strong and kept him from relapsing in his weakest moments.

Scar.

His best friend. His
only
friend.

Scar.

Sebastian’s chest constricted, pushing the air from his lungs, suffocating him.

He gasped.

He pulled open the driver’s door and fell into the car, landing heavily onto the seat.

“Oh Scar,” he whispered, leaning across the vehicle to gently stroke the dog’s fur. “I’m so sorry. So sorry. This was all my fault.” If only he’d waited, talked to the police, done something different other than burst in on them, trying to play hero, then Scar would still be alive.

A piece of Sebastian died along with Scar. It slipped loose, pulling free from his soul, and puffed away like smoke in a breeze.

The last good piece of him was now gone.

Only emptiness remained.

He slowly lifted his head, wiped the tears from his eyes.

His vision cleared.

Then the darkness consumed him, swirling around him, choking him.

He didn’t fight it. What was the use?

Instead, he willingly gave in to it, letting it devour him whole.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Sebastian’s garage door opened. The squeak and groan of the tracks rolling up, then down was loud in the otherwise silent house. Emily ran to her door and waited. He was back. Had he freed Scar?

She listened while he went into the house. The door slammed.

She waited awhile longer, hoping he would come to her and tell her what had happened. But he didn’t.

Another door slammed. Why was he being so noisy? It was almost three o’clock in the morning.

A sound came from the backyard. She jerked toward her bedroom where the emergency egress window opened out into the backyard.

The porch light was on.

Emily leapt up onto the bed and pushed the window open. She peered out into the yard. The light cast a glow over the lawn and the landscaping in Sebastian’s back yard, enabling her to make out movement near the fence.

Sebastian. Bending over something.

He straightened with something in his right hand.

He raised his arms up, then down.

A thumping sound came from across the yard, like something banging into the earth.

A shovel.

Her heart went cold.

No! Please don’t let Scar be dead!

Shoving the window open the rest of the way, Emily climbed out. Cautiously she approached Sebastian where he was digging a hole in the backyard.

Thump. Toss. Thump. Toss.

A pile of dirt was growing off to his right.

When she reached him, she spied Scar’s lifeless body lying near Sebastian’s feet.

“Sebastian?”

He ignored her, slamming the shovel into the ground again. Then tossing dirt aside. His hair was wildly disheveled, as if he’d repeatedly raked his hands through it.

She touched his arm. “Sebastian.”

He shrugged her hand off. “Go away, Emily. Just go. Away.”

She dropped to where Scar lay and gently stroked his fur. “What happened?”

Sebastian thrust the shovel into the ground again, tossed more dirt aside. He didn’t answer.

Emily gathered Scar’s body up and pulled him into her lap. She stroked the dog’s head. Scar’s blood seeped into her nightshirt, leaving a sticky film on her thigh, but she didn’t care.

Sebastian paused, turning that angry gaze on her. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Saying goodbye,” she whispered.

“Get away from him. He’s my dog.”

There was a menacingly look in his eyes she’d never seen before. Sebastian wasn’t himself right now. He was hurting. She needed to help him.

She rose, gently lay the dog back on the grass.

Sebastian turned away and resumed digging.

Tread carefully. He’s hurting and he’s not himself.

But he’s so alone. He needs me.

Emily hesitated, then stepped up behind him. She wrapped her arms around his waist, trying to offer him some comfort.

“I’m here,” she whispered. “You’re not alone.”

He went still. He slammed the shovel into the ground and turned to face her. She jumped back.

“I told you to go away. I meant it. I don’t want you here.”

She held his gaze. “I know. But I won’t leave you. You’re hurting right now.”

Careful Emily.

She ignored the warning.

Ignored the danger brewing in his eyes.

Sebastian needed her.

Emily stepped forward and grabbed his hands in hers. He stumbled back. “Fuck.” He yanked his hands free. “Don’t.”

Undeterred, she held his gaze. “You’re not alone, Sebastian. It’s okay. Let it all out. I’m your friend. I’m here.”

Fury flashed in his eyes. “Don’t you get it? I already let it all out. The little bit of goodness I had left died along with Scar. The only thing left inside me now is the darkness. I can feel it swirling around inside me like a fucking demon fighting to break free from hell. Stay away from me. I don’t want to unleash it on you. I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t have any goodness left in me anymore. I’m dangerous.”

She didn’t believe that. Not for a second. Sebastian was a good person. He rescued animals. He cared. He’d just lost his dog. He was hurting.

She bravely took a step toward him.

He flung his arms up to ward her off. “Don’t touch me. Just…don’t.”

“It’s okay to grieve,” she whispered, watching his eyes. “I’ve been there. My dad’s dog Lucky died last year. He got hit by a car. He was getting old, like eleven or twelve, but it still broke my dad’s heart. He loved that dog.” She hitched in a breath. “I loved him too.”

Sebastian’s gaze never left hers. “That’s not the same. It wasn’t your dad’s fault.
This…
” He flung his arm out, gesturing at Scar’s lifeless body. “…was my fault. I killed him, Emily. I caused it by going after them. I should have waited, called the cops…
something
.”

“No.” She took another step toward him. He stiffened, wariness entering his eyes. He backed away.

And it hit Emily that he was afraid. Of what, she wasn’t exactly sure. Of her? Of her touching him? What did he think would happen if she touched him?

Was he afraid of letting her comfort him? Was he afraid to accept comfort? Afraid he might break down in front of her? Had he ever accepted comfort from anyone before? Had anyone ever offered him comfort before?

Emily made the decision in that moment that she would help him get through this. There’d been a time in her life when she’d felt so lost and hopeless, when she wanted nothing more than to die. Yet Jennie, Emily’s stepmother now, had helped her survive. It if weren’t for Jennie’s encouraging words, her pep talks in that dark, dreary dungeon, Emily doubted she would have survived the hell she’d been subjected to for three long years.

Someone had helped her.

The least she could do was help Sebastian now.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she whispered, taking another step toward him. He remained stiff and unyielding in front of her, his gaze wary as he watched her. She could touch him now if she wanted. She took that final step and wrapped her arms around him. “It’s not your fault. I’m here, Sebastian. You’re not alone. I’m here.”

He drew in a sharp breath, his chest expanding, his entire body stiffening. Then the breath puffed out of his lungs. His arms came around her. He squeezed her against him.

His body started to shake, first just little jitters as his breath hitched in, then out. He lowered his head and buried his face in her hair. He breathed in again, out, his breath catching on each inhale.

Then he broke down, clinging to her, sobbing uncontrollably.

Emily’s heart shattered.

His legs buckled. Emily tried to hold him up but he was too heavy. She fell to her knees beside him in the grass and pulled him back into her arms. Surprisingly, he didn’t resist, just let out another sob and clung to her. He was so broken. She didn’t know what to do except hold him and let him know she cared.

Emily knew how it felt to cry until there was nothing left inside you. Until the person you once were was now dead and gone.  

She held him while he cried, gently patted his back, stroked her fingers through his hair, whispered soothingly in his ear. She felt his pain as if it were her own.

Her chest tightened. Her throat clogged. Her eyes filled with tears.

At last he took a deep breath, gathered himself. He leaned away from her, his red-rimmed gaze searching hers. “What the fuck are you doing to me?”

Emily didn’t know how to answer that, because she wasn’t sure what he was asking.

“What do you mean?”

He groaned. “I’ve been cold and detached, unable to
feel
anything for too many years to count. Now, you…
touch
me and I turn into a fucking cry baby.”

Emily sighed. “You make it sound like emotions are bad. That feelings are a weakness.”

He snorted. “They are. If you don’t feel, no one can hurt you.”

Her heart clenched.
Oh Sebastian. What happened to you?

A tear trickled unheeded down her cheek.

His gaze zoomed in on her face. “Why are you crying?” His voice was hoarse, his words hesitant, as if he feared her response.

She swallowed hard. “Because it hurts me to see you hurting so much.”

He closed his eyes, drew in a ragged breath. “Scar was my best friend. I rescued him when he was a pup. They used him as a bait dog because he wouldn’t fight. The other dogs tore him up until he was almost dead. The guy who owned him tossed him outside to die. I brought him in and nursed him back to health. Some people think Pitbulls are born with dangerous propensities.” He shook his head. “Not me. Scar was an example of a sweet-tempered animal who had no viciousness in him. Even when they forced him to fight, he cowered away and let the other dogs maul him nearly to death. Scar…reminded me of myself. I never wanted to fight either. We were two damaged souls all alone in the world. Scar and I helped each other heal. And now…he’s gone.”

He turned his face away from her.

“I’m so sorry,” Emily whispered. “But you don’t have to suffer alone anymore. I know I could never give you what you had with Scar, but I’m your friend. I’m here for you. Always.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, let out a long breath. “Thank you for…believing in me. I wasn’t myself when you came out here. I’m…just so fucking lost.”

Emily brushed a lock of dark hair away from his brow.

He sucked in a breath. His gaze darted to hers. His hand slid up her bare thigh, jolting her senses, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. She was still dressed in her nightshirt and the fabric had shifted up her leg when she’d knelt on the grass. Splotches of Scar’s blood stained her nightshirt and a portion of her leg.

Sebastian gently stroked his thumb across her thigh. Back and forth. Flames ignited in her lower abdomen, spreading outward.

His gaze held hers. 

The breath snagged in her throat. Her heart galloped out of control.

He leaned toward her. Slowly. His gaze intensified as it settled on her mouth.

Crap.
He was going to kiss her.

She jerked back, bolting to her feet.

“You need to learn to believe in yourself, Sebastian.” Her voice shook.

She’d almost been drawn under his spell. Almost…

He lunged to his feet. “Emily…you…should go back inside now.”

She watched his face. “Are you sure you want me to leave? I can stay if you need me to.”

He let out a snort. A wild, almost desperate look crossed his face. “What I want and what you’re offering are two entirely different things.”

Her cheeks heated. “Why does it have to be about sex?”

He let out a false laugh. “Because I’m a man. I need a physical release. And I want you.”

Her face grew even hotter. “Is it me you want, or just the physical release?”

His gaze darkened as it held hers. “Both.”

An awakening desire surged through her. She squeezed her eyes shut.

Don’t be a fool, Emily.

Though he’d admitted he wanted her, right now what he craved was the physical release. She could be any woman and he’d have sex with her.

Her heart gave a little ping of hurt.

What did she expect? Of course all he wanted was sex. He was an actor. A playboy. Sex was probably all he would ever want from her.

She opened her eyes and lifted her chin, pushing the hurt aside.

“Sex isn’t the answer. You know that.”

He shrugged. “Maybe not, but it would sure feel fucking good. Just go inside, Emily. I’m fine.” He strode to where he’d left the shovel and continued digging the hole without another word.

Had her rejection hurt his feelings?

She didn’t want to hurt him. But she wasn’t sleeping with him. Damn him for making her care.

“Remember what I said,” she whispered. “You’re not alone. When you’re ready to talk, you know where to find me.”

He didn’t respond, though he paused momentarily in digging the hole. Emily watched him for a moment, her heart aching for him. She turned back to the house. She reached the window and climbed back in her bedroom. Then she glanced out at him again.

He’d stopped shoveling. He was staring after her with a hot, naked desire on his face.

Emily’s heart skipped a beat. Fear slithered in.
Crap.
He really did want her, if the look on his face was any indication. But was it her he wanted, or just the physical release? Confusion swamped her.

She didn’t dare give in to him. Not until she knew who the real Sebastian was. Not until
he
knew who the real Sebastian was. Sex was the last thing Sebastian needed right now. He was craving comfort, but he was craving the wrong kind.

Having sex might be a temporary cure for him, but it wouldn’t work in the long run. He needed more than that. He needed to learn to love himself first, to deal with the demons eating him up inside. And once he’d done that, then he needed someone who would love him regardless of who he was or what he’d done in life. Someone to
accept
him for who he was. The sex—if it was going to be meaningful—would have to come later, much later.