Scared of Beautiful (11 page)

“I can tell you think so,” I whisper, sliding my hands under the back of shirt and slowly pulling his hips towards me, until the space between us in impenetrable and I can feel the growing bulge in his jeans pressed against me. My thoughts are a mess; my brain is completely fuzzy. If we weren’t in the parking lot at the campus, there is not a thing that would keep me off of Jackson. And judging by his lust-filled gaze, I think he feels the same. “Let’s pick this up later,” I say very reluctantly.

We sit through some B grade slapstick comedy at the Cineplex, in an almost deserted cinema, where to our credit, Jackson and I abstain from any kind of sexual behavior. We have just managed to find seats at the packed Mexican grill nearby when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. It’s a text from Jade.
Finally!

Hey! Sorry about not texting. I had someone to see in Atlanta, so I had to get down there.. Will call you soon. Xx.

How bizarre
. “Jade is in Atlanta,” I say to Jackson still not completely having absorbed the fact. “Something about having to see someone.”

Jackson immediately looks uncomfortable and yet, very intrigued by my news. “Did she say who?” he asks. Something tells me a bomb is about to drop nearby.

Jackson

My insides knot as I process what Maia just said. Jade is in Atlanta, and there’s only one reason why she would go immediately back there.
Shana
. It has to be. Maia and I just got past yesterday’s bullshit, and now I have to add more to that today. She’s still looking at me curiously from across the booth.

“Let’s order¸” she says flagging over a waiter in a ridiculously colorful shirt and oversized sombrero. We order nachos and enchiladas and I order two tequila shots.
Fuck it
. I need the edge off for this conversation.

“So, I think I should tell you why I think Jade is in Atlanta. It has to do with me and my ex, Shana,” I say. Maia’s body stiffens slightly but she manages to keep her face neutral, so I continue. “I think Shana came back home recently. Jade and I hadn’t seen her for over four years, since she took off. We hadn’t been able to find her for all that time. I finally hired someone who found her late last year.” Relief flooded Maia’s face. “When Shana left,” I continue breathing slowly, “it was after a clinic appointment. She was pregnant. She went in to have it taken care of. That was the last time I saw her, when I dropped her off. She refused to let me come in.” Maia doesn’t flinch, and there is no judgment in her eyes at all. “The thing is, Shana, didn’t go to the appointment like she said she would, she left. And I think she had the baby. I think I have a daughter, Maia. And I think Jade has gone to see them.” I exhale a huge sigh of relief. Whatever Maia says after this, I’ll deal with. No secrets or lies. I hate secrets and lies.

Dinner and the tequilas arrive, and Maia and I both slam back the drinks immediately. After that revelation, we both need to take the edge off. Before we eat, she looks up at me and says. “Let’s eat so I can process, and we’ll talk after, okay?” She offers me a reassuring smile.

I guess I should be fucking grateful that she didn’t bound out the door, before sombrero man even had a chance to deliver the meal. My leg shakes nervously under the table, and I realize that what terrifies me most is not that Maia will judge me, but that she will walk out the door. Maia does something to me that I can’t explain. Her presence is so overwhelming and intoxicating to me. I sound like a fucking stalker thinking like this about a girl I met not so long ago, but it’s the truth. Dinner is painfully quiet. We order two more tequilas, but we both push the food around our plates, neither of us having much of an appetite anymore.

“So…” Maia’s voice startles me. “For four years you had no idea where she was, or that you had a daughter.” I nod my head. “Wow, that must have been rough on you. I’m guessing you loved her very much.” Maia feigns nonchalance, but she averts her eyes when she says that.

“I did,” I reply sincerely. “I mean, I may have loved her then, but after what happened I’m not in love with her anymore, if that’s what you’re asking.”

I reach across the table and cover her hands with mine. “I can’t change the past Maia, I don’t know what will happen with Shana and I as far as our daughter is concerned. But I do know that Brown was a fresh start.” I look down at our intertwined hands. “Everything was so fucked up for so long after Shana left. Her, Jade and I had hoped to come to Brown together. After that day, I barely graduated high school, and spent the next three years working at my dad’s auto shop, using every cent I earned on booze, to get high and to hire PI’s to find her. Truthfully I wasted three years on meaningless sex with so many women that I lost count.” I look down, not proud of my past. Maia deserves to know it all. She deserves the right to make an educated decision about me. “Then one day I woke up and decided to stop being a fuck up, realizing that Shana was probably out there somewhere, living her life, and that I had to respect the fact that she didn’t want me in it, or in our daughter’s. That’s when I came here. And met you, and believe me, I haven’t looked back since.”

I feel like someone has lifter a huge boulder off my chest, but my body is still tense, waiting for Maia’s reply. She looks up at me with those beautiful brown eyes and smiles. “I can’t change what you were and who you were before I met you. I know what I need to know and that’s all I need right now.” Her words are heavenly, and I can’t believe that this girl is really fucking real. “Just promise me something,” she says somberly.

“Anything,” I reply, really meaning it.

“Promise me that if given the chance, you will be a good father to that little girl. I know how important that can be.” Her eyes sweep the ground and I know she remembers how heartbreaking it was for her to feel unwanted by her father growing up. At the end of it all, we’re both wounded in some way. Both victims of a past that we didn’t ask to be a part of. “Take me home,” she says suggestively, biting her bottom lip. She’s so damn hot when she does that. But truthfully, I don’t just want Maia. I need Maia. I need to undress her and feel every inch of her body, explore every last crevice. I don’t think I’ve ever paid a bill in a restaurant that quickly in my life.

The choice for whose dorm to got to was easy, since Jade was in Atlanta. Thinking of all the ways I would take Maia tonight had me gripping the steering wheel as we made our way back to the campus. Maia walked ahead of me up to her dorm and all I could think about was how her ass would feel in my hands. My hands find her hips as she unlocks the door and she moans softly as I trail a string of kisses down her neck. She opens the door, locks it behind her, and then walks past me to the desk near the window. She slides onto it and pulls her sweater over her head, revealing a black lace bra that holds up the fullest, most amazing tits I have ever seen.

In less than a second, I was standing pressed between her thighs as she unbuttoned my shirt and let it fall to the ground. Maia’s mouth found mine and in that instant, every notion I had to take thing slow went right out the window. She kissed me hungrily and deeply, gripping my hips and pressing them to her. In one fluid motion I undid her jeans and slid my hand into her panties. A small groan escaped my lips when I felt how wet she was under my fingers. I slid a finger into the soft folds and watched as she leaned back onto her elbows and arched her back.
Fuck, she felt good. She’d probably taste so much better.
Maia’s soft moans begin driving me crazy.
I need to be inside her, now.

She must have read my mind, because she reaches forward and undoes my jeans, then reaches into my pocket to get the condom I grabbed from the Mustang. The feel of her hand sliding over my shaft as she puts it on is fucking amazing. I slide my hand into the sides of her jeans and pull them down, taking a soft nipple into my mouth as I do. Every fucking touch causes my body to throb in anticipation.

“
Jackson
,” she whispers, and the way she says my name is almost pleading, begging me to be inside of her.

That’s so fucking hot
. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that sound. I slide into her, and pull her ass towards me. Her hips grind greedily against me and her fingers knead into my back. She’s so tight, and I slow myself down to deep purposeful thrusts. I want this to last. I want to feel Maia’s thighs grip my waist as she comes. I aim to please.
But god
, she feels so good. Her breathing is ragged, and the sounds that leave her lips get louder each time I slide into her. Our mouths crush together, her tongue hungrily finding mine.
Holy fuck
, she’s so wet, she must be dripping. That thought nearly sends me over the edge.

Maia presses her forehead to mine and purposely meets my eyes. “Ready?” she says breathlessly. “Come with me.”

That’s it, those words are the hottest three words ever spoken. Our eyes don’t leave each other’s as I push harder and faster into her. Our gazes remain fused together until she cries out and throws her head back. The force of her orgasm causes her to tighten around my dick, and within seconds, I’m right there with her.

For about five minutes we don’t move. Our short, ragged breaths are the only sounds that fill the air. Maia’s legs are still wrapped around my waist as her head leans onto my chest.
Sweet mother of God
, if I died right here, I’d die a happy man.

Through the rest of the night we lay in Maia’s bed, sometimes talking, sometimes quiet, limbs entangled. Twice more, she pulls me on top and takes me into her. Each time, the tight wetness leaves me damn near incapacitated. This part of us is easy, and I like easy. Maia has no idea how sprung on her I am after only a few days.

I finally leave her dorm just before sunrise. Scholarship students shouldn’t really be caught with their pants down in an all-female dorm. Flashbacks of Maia biting her bottom lip and gripping my neck fly through my thoughts as I walk back to the car, and I smile quietly to myself, remembering what only I know.

Maia

Holy hell! Jackson is one skilled man, I’ll give him that. I lay in bed, wrapped in my comforter, inhaling the scent that he and I have left on the sheets. My thighs squeeze together involuntarily as I remember how he felt.
My hero, my Superman
. My heart seizes slightly when I remember the night’s events before we came back. I was impressed with my composure at the grill. Truthfully, my stomach bottomed out, and my world spun when Jackson told me about his ex and daughter. The insecure part of me invades my thoughts with what ifs.
What if seeing his daughter reminds him how much he loved Shana? What if I’m not what he wants after all? What if my fucked up life is not something he can handle?
I should be mad, and I need to be careful. There’s a very real possibility that this could all go to shit, and fast. There is a solution: keep my distance emotionally, that way he can’t unintentionally hurt me. All of a sudden, my blissful bed becomes a cocoon. and I pull the blankets tighter around me. Thank god it’s Saturday, so no classes.

I must have dozed off, because I open my eyes to a rustling on Jade’s side of the room. Still completely unclothed I sit up in my bed and squint my eyes against the offending light of day. Only it’s not Jade, it’s…
Morgan?
“What the hell?” I ask, my jaw completely hitting the floor as I see Morgan and a suitcase perched on Jade’s bed.

“Yes,” she breathes out, bored. “Imagine my surprise when I discovered who my new roommate was.”
Roommate?

“I am not your roommate, Jade is my roommate. And I can guarantee you it won’t be pretty when she comes back to find you in her bed,” I reply sarcastically. Then again, Morgan might be Jade’s type. In spite of the situation, a small laugh bubbles in my chest.

“Well, princess, I don’t know about that. All I know is that admin called me last night to say that a dorm space had opened up for this semester,” she answers, already over this conversation.