Scar (4 page)

“That’s horrible.”

“In his mind, getting caught by the cops is all our fault. He needs to blame some big conspiracy instead of accepting responsibility that he just screwed up.”

Caelyn put a hand on her forehead. “This is unbelievable.”

“We’re okay,” Elijah told her. “We’re going to keep moving for awhile and then take cover somewhere safe for a few days until this blows over.”

“That’s what you said when we went to Trey’s house.”

“And it almost worked.”

Caelyn stared out the passenger window as the droplets of rain hit the glass and then ran down, leaving little trails as they went. Her thoughts were spinning. “You realize that if we’d stayed at Trey’s house, we never would’ve known he got arrested? And he still would have blamed us and told the police where we were. We’d be arrested right now.”

Elijah seemed to consider this as if for the first time. “I guess that makes us lucky,” he said, chuckling.

“It’s not funny.”

“What do you want me to do, Caelyn? Pull the car over and cry and punch the dashboard? Shake my fist at the sky and demand to know why the world is against us?”

“That’s what I feel like doing,” she muttered.

“Yeah, well, one of us has to stay strong.”

Caelyn felt wounded. “I’m not being strong?”

“I’m just saying, I know this sucks. I know you’re scared and I realize this was a close call. But we got away. Just barely, but we did.”

“Now they know we’re nearby. They’re going to be looking for us and we can’t get far enough away to be safe,” she said. “We’re out of money.”

“We can do this. We will do this,” Elijah told her. He glanced at her and his eyes were steely and determined. “I’m not giving up on us.”

Somehow, seeing the look on his face gave Caelyn a burst of optimism. If Elijah could be strong and confident, there was no reason she had to think the worst. “I’ll never give up on us either,” she replied. “I hope you know that.”

“I do,” Elijah said. He looked back at the road.

***

The low gas tank light in the car’s dashboard flickered on and now was a blaring, bright yellow that Caelyn couldn’t seem to stop watching from the corner of her eye.

Neither of them had spoken of it, because there wasn’t much to be done. Elijah had just continued driving and the rain had continued pouring down, as wind battered the car and the grey skies stretched relentlessly into the distance.

They hadn’t spoken much the past hour or so, both lost in their own thoughts.

Caelyn had the feeling that they were coming to the end of things—her stomach had been clenched for so long that she could hardly breathe. She was hungry and tired and afraid. She didn’t remember when the last time was that she’d been completely unafraid, but it seemed like maybe that was a thing of the past.

Happiness was like some old photograph that you looked at and could hardly believe that it had ever happened to you.

But then she looked at Elijah and she remembered why she was doing this, why she was going through it all.

I love him. I love him so much it hurts.

But was it supposed to hurt this much? It was like a bullet wound in her stomach, and she was so tired…so tired.

Eventually, the rain became a drizzle and then stopped completely.

Elijah pulled the car over next to a small convenience store and looked at Caelyn. “I’m going inside for a second,” he said, his voice low and dull. His eyes were hard, unforgiving.

“But…but we have no money to buy anything,” she said.

He sighed. “I know that, Caelyn. Do you really want me to tell you what I’m going to do in there?”

She got a sudden jolt of intense panic and grabbed his arm. “Don’t you do it,
Elijah.
Don’t steal or rob them or—whatever it is. Don’t. Please.”

He didn’t pull away from her. He just looked at her, his eyes still and calm, but deeply sad. “Caelyn,” he said, his voice almost choked. “There’s nothing else I can do. It’s this or…or call it what it is.”

“What does that mean?” she asked.

“It means, maybe it’s time you went home,” he said.

Now the jolt of fear grew stronger, like a pain through her heart that was so intense she thought it might be an attack of some sort. “We said we’d never give up on each other.”

“I’m not giving up on us,” he told her. “But I can’t drag you down with me anymore.”

“You’re not—“

“Stop it,” he said. “Just listen to me for a second.” His hand grabbed hers and squeezed. “I love you,” he told her. “You know that, right?”

“Elijah,” she whispered, tears suddenly springing to her eyes and beginning to pour down her cheeks.

“I love you more than anyone or anything in this world,” he continued. “I’d die for you, Caelyn. I would die for you.”

She couldn’t look at him. Because the sound of his voice was telling her that it was over, just as she’d suspected it might be.

He was giving up on them after all.

“I can’t,” she said, still whispering. “I can’t leave you.”

“You need to go home and pick up your life,” he said. “I’m going to be arrested and I’m going back to jail for a long time.”

“No, Elijah. You don’t know that—“

“We both know it,” he said, cutting her off with finality. “It’s just a matter of time, Caelyn. And I won’t let you go down the drain with me. If we’re caught together, you’ll go to jail too. You’re life will be over.”

“My life’s over if you’re not in it.”

“That’s not true,” he said. “Look at me, kid.”

She was sobbing now, but she lifted her head and looked at him. His eyes were soft again, and kind. He did love her, and she could see it so clearly, see the true and pure love in his heart. It was shining at her, and it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.

“I can see you,” she told him. “I can really see you.”

He smiled then, and it was as if he’d allowed her to truly witness what was behind the tough exterior, and all his walls. He was like an angel, she thought. An angel, only he was tortured and pained in this cruel world, and there was no place for him.

“I can see you too, beautiful,” he said, and now he was touching her cheek and smiling at her. “But it’s time. It’s time.”

“No,” she said. “I can’t.”

“I’m going to let you off here at this store. Give me half an hour before you ask to borrow their phone and call home.”

“No, Elijah!” she yelled, horrified. “No! I can’t go home.”

“Caelyn,” he said.

“I won’t leave you,” she said. “I won’t. Not yet. Please, just give me another couple of hours with you. Please,” she begged.

“I’ll pick you up and put you out of the car if you make me,” he warned.

“I’m not a child,” she said. “I want to stay with you. No matter what happens.”

He broke his gaze from hers, looking down, troubled. “I can’t let you do that,” he said. “I can’t be responsible for what happens to you.”

“You’re not,” she told him. “I am.”

And just then, there was the loud WHOOP WHOOP of a siren, and Elijah’s head snapped up. He turned and looked out the back windshield, cursing. “Fuck, it’s the cops.”

“Drive, Elijah! Drive!”

He licked his lips. “We can’t outrun them. I’m going to give myself up,” he said.

A loud megaphone sound crackled. “STEP OUT OF THE CAR. I REPEAT, STEP OUT OF THE CAR.”

Caelyn grabbed his arm and squeezed with all her might. “Drive, Elijah. Get us out of here now.”

“You sure?”

“Just go. Just go.”

He shook his head and swore again.

Caelyn looked out the window and saw that it was one police car, and it was approaching them, the sirens flashing and swirling menacingly. In all likelihood, the police had already called for backup and soon there would be more.

A feeling of total helpless panic welled up inside of her, but she pushed it down.

And then Elijah hit the gas and they were flying away from the police cruiser at a speed that seemed impossible. The engine roared and rumbled, as if it was crying out from being pushed too hard, and the entire car vibrated from the sound and force of it.

Caelyn had never been in a car going anywhere near that fast.

She looked over and Elijah’s body language was surprisingly calm as his gaze flicked to the rearview mirror and back to the road in front of him again. The car picked up speed, the engine protesting even more loudly as he pinned the needle on the speedometer.

They were going over a hundred miles an hour down a small city street. Caelyn turned and saw that the police car was not far behind them. Its siren was blaring and it wasn’t going quite as fast as them, but it was keeping up.

The cruiser was trying to keep them in sight, she realized. As long as it didn’t lose sight of them, it would get more and more police cars to come help subdue them.

Soon there would be another and another, she thought.

Maybe they’ll send a helicopter or two for good measure.

The thought made her nearly laugh out loud, and she felt her mind stretching as if her sanity was truly about to snap.

“Hold on,” Elijah said, and then he abruptly cut the steering wheel and they spun one hundred and eighty degrees, their tires squealing as he pumped the break, and Caelyn watched him handling the steering wheel as they skidded out of control.

Smoke from the tires on the road billowed up and a burning smell hit her nostrils.

We’re going to die
, she thought.

But then, they were driving again, this time back in the opposite direction, as the police car went past them, skidding and trying to stop in time. But Elijah had surprised the cops, and he hooked a right turn down another street,
then
turned left down another side street, racing faster once more.

His eyes were focused as he took them down street after street.

“Okay, we need to ditch the car, now,” he told her. “We don’t have much time. Come on.”

“But then we won’t be able to get away,” she said.

Elijah pulled the car into a narrow alley. “We’re out of gas anyway,” he said. “And I bought us a minute or two at most with my little stunt back there,” he told her. “They’re going to have an army of cops looking for this car. We need to go.”

With that, Elijah got out and Caelyn followed him, and they started walking away from it, leaving it sitting, steaming,
parked
diagonally in the alley.

Elijah grabbed her hand and then led her through a gap between two buildings and into a new street. “Casual,” he told her, almost whispering in her ear. “Like we’re just having a fun day together.”

They walked slowly down the street, hearing siren upon siren building in the near distance. Caelyn’s heart was thumping in her chest and she felt dizzy with anxiety.

The scanner crackled and a burst of low static emitted from Elijah’s person, and Caelyn realized he’d stuffed the scanner beneath his jacket, into the beltline of his pants.

As they walked together, they could listen to the dispatcher and police coordinating their search efforts. They still hadn’t found the car yet, so that was something.

After about fifteen minutes of walking, they went into a Dunkin Donuts. Before entering the shop, Elijah turned his scanner off.

Once inside, Elijah dug in his pockets and counted out almost enough change to buy a small container of chocolate milk. They were a quarter shy, and the girl at the register took pity on them.

“Don’t worry about it,” she smiled, taking the money. “I’ve got a quarter I can use.”

“Thanks,” Caelyn said, relieved.

They went and sat down at a table just to the right of the window so they could still see the street but not really be at risk for being seen by any passing cars.

Elijah opened the milk and then slid it over to Caelyn. She drank it gratefully, surprised at how amazing it tasted. “That might be the best chocolate milk I ever tasted,” she told him.

Elijah grinned. His grin faded as first one, then two, then three police cars flew by the Dunkin Donuts shop.

Caelyn took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

An old man and an old woman sipping coffee watched the cop cars go. “Christ, look at ‘em go,” the old
man
said. “Wonder what happened.”

The old woman shook her head. “This city’s getting worse and worse. Someone probably got shot.”

The old man cocked an eyebrow. “You think?”

“Teenagers,” the old woman said, shaking her head.

“Probably right,” the man agreed, and then went back to reading his paper and sipping his coffee.

Elijah and Caelyn locked eyes and grinned at one another.

“Teenagers,” Elijah whispered.

She had to laugh a little. “Probably right,” she agreed.

As bad as this was, she realized, it wasn’t so terrible because she was still with Elijah. Caelyn drank some more chocolate milk and reached across to hold his hand.