Saying Goodbye, Part One (Passports and Promises Book 1) (15 page)

We walked up to the Sig house together. Dylan had wanted to pick me up, but I preferred to arrive with Bethany, and I didn’t want her to feel like a third wheel. As soon as we got there, I knew the night would not turn out well. Dylan had a beer in his hand and his eyes looked bleary and bloodshot. He didn’t have a costume on.

“Sam. You’re finally here.”

He pulled me close and I smelled the combination of alcohol on his breath and pot smoke on his skin. I wiggled out of his embrace. Bethany took off to the bar. She could tell something was about to hit the fan.

“You said you weren’t going to drink.”

“But it’s a party.”

He waved his arms, sloshing some of his beer. He had trouble keeping his balance and swayed on his feet.

“Have fun, Dylan.”

I started to walk away, but he grabbed my arm. “What’s your problem?”

“I’m not going to do this again. If you plan to drink tonight, I’m hanging out with my friends.”

He let go of me. “Fine. Have fun.”

He muttered “bitch” under his breath, but I ignored it. I found Bethany and a bunch of other friends and we danced and drank together, but I monitored myself closely, not wanting to get trashed. Dylan stood against a wall, downing beer after beer and watching me. His dark eyes were on me the whole night, and it made me uncomfortable. Bethany and I decided to walk home with a group of Thetas, but first I had to use the restroom. I was washing my hands when Dylan barged in, locking the door behind him.

“What are you doing, Dylan?”

I continued washing my hands, but my heart skipped a beat. I wasn’t frightened exactly, but his behavior made me nervous.

He came behind me, his hands on my hips and rubbed against me, slowly. Erotically. He leaned forward to kiss my neck, and then nuzzle my ear. Our eyes met in the bathroom mirror.

“Do you remember how we did it at my parents’ house?”

He circled his hips, pushing against me. He tried to lift my skirt, but I shoved his hands away. I knew it would be easier just to do what he wanted, but something inside me had changed. When Gabriela decided to stand up to Zach, I realized it was time for me to stand up for myself as well. I was done being a pushover, and sick of being manipulated. By everyone. Especially Dylan.

“Stop it.”

His hands slid under my skirt, touching the line of my panties. “You look so sexy. So hot.”

“I’m not going to have sex with you in the ladies’ room of the Sig house.”

I elbowed him hard in the stomach, not enough to hurt, but enough to throw him off balance. I turned around and went for the door. He stopped me, yanking on my arm and spinning me around to face him.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving. I can’t be around you when you’re drunk.”

He pushed me against the cold tile wall of the bathroom, his hands on my shoulders. He wasn’t hurting me, but he was rougher than he’d ever been and a tremor of fear went through me at the detached and cold look in his dark eyes.

“Do you love me, Sam?”

I stared at him, unable to lie to him again. I knew I probably should, but I just couldn’t. I watched the realization hit him like a blow to the stomach. He actually exhaled in a huff and staggered back a few feet.

“You don’t. You never did. It was all a lie.”

“I care about you, Dylan…” I said, but he just laughed at me.

“Fuck you, Sam. Fuck this.” He punched a wall with his fist, causing his knuckles to bleed. He didn’t seem to notice.

“You’re hurt.”

When I reached for his hand, he snatched it away. “Don’t touch me.”

“But I want to help you. You’re bleeding.”

“I don’t need your help. I don’t need you. We’re over, Sam. Get the fuck out of my life.”

He left the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. I leaned against the wall, trying to calm down. My hands shook and my heart pounded in my chest. I didn’t feel like partying anymore. I just wanted to go home.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

I
stepped out of the bathroom and right into Max. He dressed as a big yellow chicken, just like he did every year. At this sight of his sweet, freckled face, the tears I’d held back spilled down my cheeks. He gathered me into his arms. In my heels, I stood just a bit taller than him, and I rested my cheek against his head. He had a hood on as part of his costume covered in bright feathers. They stuck to my skin, but I didn’t care.

“Are you okay? I heard yelling.”

Dylan’s voice echoed through the hall and I shivered. He was screaming at someone downstairs.

Max pulled me into his room. “Did he hurt you?” His brown eyes scanned my face, looking for any sign of injury.

“No. I was mad because he promised he wouldn’t drink. We fought.”

He squeezed my arm. “I’m sorry, Sam.”

“Can I stay here a little while? I’m afraid to go out and face him right now.”

“Of course,” he said. “I’ll walk you home after he cools off.”

“Thanks, Max.”

He took off his costume and slipped into a pair of sweats and a long sleeved t-shirt. He undressed in front of me without even thinking about it. A little strange, but it really didn’t bother me. I’d seen him naked more times than I could count.

He poured me a shot of whisky and I accepted it gladly, holding my hand out for a refill as soon as I finished. It took the edge off what had just happened with Dylan in the bathroom, and made sweet, welcome warmth creep through my belly.

I texted Bethany. She and the other Thetas had gone outside to wait for me, but they couldn’t find Emma. She’d been dancing with a big group of girls, but they lost track of her. They decided to leave when Dylan started screaming, but didn’t want to abandon Emma and me. I promised her I’d stay inside until it was safe, find Emma, and text her as soon as we got home.

I put down my phone and sank onto Max’s couch, my face in my hands. We were on the second floor, but I could still hear Dylan’s voice below. It sounded like he was fighting with someone, or maybe even several people.

Max sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. I leaned against him, burying my face in his neck. “Where’s Greg?”

“He went home for the weekend,” he said. “He’s missing all the fun.”

I laughed. The sound of a person on the edge, inches away from being hysterical, and Max seemed to sense it. He turned up his music as loud as it would go to block out the sound of Dylan’s voice. Then he held me close, murmuring soothing words and stroking my back. The sound of his voice and the effects of the whiskey worked. Eventually, I managed to calm down, my arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

Being with Max had the same comfort level as slipping into an old pair of jeans. We knew each other well. We fit in all the right places. There were no questions or confusion or drama or doubt. I’m not sure how it happened, but as I snuggled closer, I began planting soft kisses on his neck. He laced his fingers through my hair and tilted my chin up to kiss my mouth. The music pounded as our tongues danced, and the whisky made me bold. I pulled his t-shirt off over his head and climbed on his lap, straddling his legs with my own. I still had on the high boots and they made me feel sexy and a little wild. Max kissed a path down my neck as he unbuttoned my blouse. When he reached my breasts, I arched my back, desperate for his mouth. He complied, sucking on my nipples through the lace of my bra as he stroked the sides of my breasts with his hands. I wiggled out of my blouse and unhooked my bra, wanting his mouth on my skin. He licked and teased my nipples as his hands slid up my bare thighs. When he reached between my legs, stroking my wet undies, I lifted myself higher on my knees so he’d have better access.

“Oh, Sam,” he said, looking up at me. “You are so fucking hot. I missed you so much. I never realized how much I wanted you until you were with Dylan. It’s kind of sick, but the whole idea of doing someone else’s girlfriend really turns me on.”

I froze, staring at him, as a terrible realization took hold. He only wanted me so badly because I was now with someone else. Everything I thought I’d felt for Max had been a complete illusion. Passion was quickly replaced by regret and disgust. I wondered if there was a patron saint of slutty sorority girls somewhere who might be inclined to start looking out for me. Maybe I needed to invest in a medallion.

Max evidently didn’t have the same qualms. “Come on, baby. What’s wrong?”

“This. Everything. We almost made a huge mistake, Max.”

I got up and started getting dressed. Max stared at me, confused. “So we aren’t going to have sex?”

I let out a sharp bark of a laugh. “Uh, no.”

“Well, that sucks. Is it because of Dylan?”

He sat up straighter on the couch, reached for his bong and took a hit. With that one action, it all came back to me exactly why I’d broken up with him.

I pulled on my blouse and began buttoning it up, my movements brisk and angry. “No. Dylan and I broke up. I’m not with him anymore.”

Max got very still. “When?”

“About five minutes before I started making out with you.”

“That’s messed up.”

“I know.”

I was so mad at myself my hands shook. Max came over and helped me with the last of the buttons.

“So, what does this mean? Are we getting back together or something now?”

I almost laughed at the worried expression on his face, but I held it back. “No. It means I just made a really bad decision. One of several, actually.”

His relief was almost a palpable thing. If I hadn’t been on the edge of losing it, I would have found the whole situation comical.

“I care about you, Sam. I really do.”

I stood up and walked to the door. “But we aren’t good together. We both know that, and we need to stop…this.” I waved my hands around the room, indicating his bed and Max still in his boxers.

“I kind of enjoy....this.” He waved his hands around as well. “But I get your point. We’re better as friends.”

I folded my arms across my chest. “Yes, we are.”

He pulled on his t-shirt and sweats and grabbed a jacket. “And now I’m going to walk you home. Like friends do.”

I heard the sound of muffled laughter outside. It sounded like it had come from right next to the door. I thought I heard someone say, “meep.” A sickening thought occurred to me.

“Is someone recording this, Max?”

Max’s face wrinkled in confusion. “What are you talking about, Sam?”

I turned on the overhead lights and searched the room. It didn’t take long for me to find the cellphone on Max’s bookshelf. I shut it off and then showed it to him.

“Not yours, I take it?”

He shook his head, his face turning bright red. “Sam. I had no idea. Those stupid pledges.”

“Who? I want names.”

He rubbed a hand over his head. “Eric and Seth. That’s my guess.”

“Let’s find them.”

“Now?”

“What do you want to wait for? Christmas? Yes, now.”

The dark hallway was still sprinkled with people making out and/or getting trashed, all in costume. A surreal sight.

“I don’t see them,” he said.

“They were just outside your door. Listening to every word we said.”

“They probably left when they realized we were onto them.” He snuck a glance into the room next to his and asked if they’d seen Eric or Seth. They hadn’t. “I’ll find them later, Sam, but I’d better get you home. If anyone else hears about what happened…”

“Like Dylan?” Imagining what could happen if the pledges told Dylan about Max and me made my stomach churn.

He nodded. “He might still be here. We should be careful.”

“You’re right. It could get ugly fast. Just let Seth and Eric know I have their phone and if they want it back they’d better come and talk to me.”

I glanced around cautiously, worried Dylan might still be around. The party had thinned out. Only the hardcore people remained. I heard a noise behind me and turned just in time to see a flash of red hair as Zach pulled a girl into his room. Little and blonde, I realized in an instant who it was, but neither of them had seen us. Yet.

“Emma?”

Emma turned and looked at me with unseeing eyes. She stumbled as Zach yanked her inside and slammed the door, locking it behind it him.

I ran up to his room with Max following close behind. “I thought he wasn’t going to be here this weekend.”

Fury and panic rose in my chest as I banged on Zach’s door. He didn’t respond.

“He wasn’t supposed to come back until Sunday.” Max tried the door, but it was firmly locked. I heard music playing inside, and knew we didn’t have much time.

“We need to get in there, Max. Now. Find someone who has a key.”

He ran to get help as I stood at the door, screaming. Emma was my responsibility. I’d promised to take care of her, but I’d been making out with Max while Zach drugged her. There was no one else I could blame this time. It was all my fault.

I continued pounding on the door until my fists hurt and my knuckles were raw. Finally, Max came back with Jeff, the fraternity president, and a large ring of keys. Within minutes, we had the door open and turned on the lights.

We barely made it in time. Emma, naked from the waist down, lay spread eagle on the bed with her eyes barely open. Zach had just begun removing his pants. He blinked and scowled when he saw us.

“Get the fuck out of here.”

I ran over to Emma, pulling down her skirt and covering her as best I could. Zach lunged for me, but Max and Jeff were faster. They pinned him against a wall as I tried to wake up Emma.

“What did you give her, Zach?” I asked.

He cocked an arrogant brow at me, but I could tell he was scared. “Nothing. She had a few drinks. That’s all.”

“You’re a liar, and you have witnesses this time,” I said.

His face paled. “I did nothing wrong here. Jeff and Max will support me.”

Jeff shook his head. A senior with blond hair and green eyes, he was the captain of the rowing team and looked sickened by what he’d just seen. “You’ve gone too far.”

Zach stared at him. “What are you talking about?”

Jeff took out his phone. “Max, make sure he doesn’t go anywhere. I’m calling the police. This ends now. It’s over.”

Zach sank to the floor, all the color leaving his face at once. Max and I helped Emma get up. I needed to get her out of this room and away from Zach. She wobbled on her feet, unable to stand, so Max swept her into his arms. I looked around the room wanting to make sure nothing of hers had been left behind, when I saw it. Sitting next to his bed. A little black book. It lay open, and inside I saw a list of carefully recorded names and dates.

Zach still sat on the ground, his back to me, his face in his hands. I grabbed the book and shoved it into my purse. Zach never even noticed.

We waited in the hallway until the police arrived. I sat on the floor with Emma’s head in my lap. She wasn’t fully awake yet, and she groggily snuggled against me like a sleepy kitten. She’d done nothing to deserve this. We’d stopped Zach just in time.

We gave our statements and the police called an ambulance to transport us to the emergency room so Emma could be checked over. Max and Jeff followed us in Jeff’s car. Zach was taken away in handcuffs. I watched him go. And when his eyes met mine, I knew the truth.

I’d won this battle, but it wasn’t over yet. And as relieved as I was, it didn’t change the fact he’d been able to hurt Gabriela and probably a bunch of other girls too. How many times had I been hooking up with Max while Zach raped someone only doors away?

The hospital notified Emma’s parents, and they were on their way, but I refused to leave her side. Max and Jeff stayed long enough to make sure she was okay, and then went back to do damage control at the frat.

Emma snoozed fitfully in the bed next to me. I sat in a stiff, leather chair, shell shocked by all that had happened in such a short span of time. Hours later, just before the sun began to rise in the sky, I pulled the leather book out of my purse and began to read.

The black book I’d stolen from Zach’s room held a treasure trove of information. Fifty-six names. Fifty-six dates. Detailed notes about each and every girl. I bet more than half of those had not been consensual, and the list was only a year old. Some of the names I recognized. When I reached Gabriela’s, a wave of nausea washed over me so strong I thought I might vomit, but I forced myself to hold it together and read the list over and over again. A bit like slicing myself repeatedly with a knife, I welcomed the pain. Nothing compared to what these girls had experienced.

I texted Bethany, to let her know about what had happened and to reassure her both of us were safe. She was probably sleeping, but I knew she’d worry when she woke up. Emma finally stirred as I hung up my phone, her eyelids fluttering open. She turned and relief flooded her face as soon as she saw me.