Savory Deceits (11 page)

“I’m not sure what you mean?” I said, trying to figure out what to say next.

“You and Chris have always been good friends, real close even, but now you two seem so distant. What happened?” She asked again, genuinely concerned. I opened my mouth, with nothing to say. I did not want to say the wrong thing, which was the truth, but I also did not want to keep lying to her. It was emotionally killing me. The guilt I felt started to eat away at me. I loved Naima very much, and I could not bear the thought of losing her as a sister, and best friend. I am sure her questions about Chris were purely innocent, but my guilty conscience made me think otherwise. I felt terrible about deceiving her. In addition, I did not know how long I would be able to keep this up, before the truth eventually came out. I have always believed in karma, and that whatever took place in the dark, always becomes known. Now, looking into Naima's eyes, which were obviously full of unanswered questions, tripled the disgrace that I felt. My heart began to race, and suddenly I felt sick to my stomach. The knot that I felt earlier began to tighten. I was scared, and I felt overwhelmingly distressed, which made my stomach turn. I pushed my chair back and stood, praying that the room would stop spinning.

“Are you okay?” I heard Naima say. Before I could answer, everything around me suddenly went black. Then, a loud thud followed. My head ached. Off in the distance, I could hear scrambling feet around me, but I could not see who, or where they were coming from.

“Oh my God! Someone call 911!” I heard Naima cry. “Nena can you hear me? Please Nena. Wake up.” Despite her desperate pleas, her words started drifting away. The voices around me grew very faint, and then I heard nothing at all.

Sometime later, I awoke to unfamiliar surroundings, and felt the pressure pains of a migraine, on the side of my head. I rubbed my temple, as everything around me became clearer. The shiny floor, the drawn curtain off to my right, and the small TV that hung from the ceiling, was enough to tell me where I was. I sighed, because I hated hospitals.

“Hey, you're up.” Someone said from behind the curtain. A woman, dressed in Betty Boo hospital scrubs stepped into view, drawing the curtain back a little. “Hi. I'm Nurse Cathy. How are you feeling?” She asked, lifting my wrist to check my pulse.

“I have a really bad headache.” I told her.

“Well, that’s a common after affect. It should go away in a little while.” The nurse said politely.

“After affect? Of what? What do you mean? Why am I here?” I asked all at once.

“I'll have your doctor come in here, and she can answer any questions that you may have, okay? I'll be right back.” She jotted down a few things, on what I assumed was my chart, before turning to leave. I watched her exit, and that is when I noticed Naima curled up on a chair, in the corner across the room sleeping. I smiled, grateful to see a familiar face. With that thought, Naima stirred, and opened her eyes.

“Hey sis, how're you feeling?” She asked yawning.

“I'm okay. Just have a little headache. What time is it? How long have you been here?” I asked her.

“Just as long as you have, I never left.” She said, walking over to join me on the bed.

“Thanks sis. What happened?” I asked my memory still foggy.

“You passed out hon,” she said rubbing my back.

“What? How…?” I began, in a panic.

“Well, that's the thing. I don't know yet, but hopefully the doctor should be here any minute to tell you. I can go find out where she is if you’d like.” She offered.

“No, that's okay. The nurse went to get her already.” I replied not wanting to be alone.

“Do you remember anything?” Naima asked me.

“Barely,” I replied, feeling my head begin to pound even more now.

“It's okay hon, just relax. We'll know more when the doctor gets here.” She said finger combing my hair, brushing it back. Just then, a short, middle-aged woman, dressed in a white lab coat entered the room.

"Well, hello there. I'm Doctor Coney. How are you feeling?" She asked me. I let out a deep breath, relieved.

“I'm feeling better, but this headache is starting to get to me though.” I said frustrated.

“Well, that's understandable. You took quite a fall, which gave you a slight concussion. What's the last thing you remember Mrs. Skye?” She asked prepared to take notes, the same way that nurse did earlier.

“Um, it's all a little fuzzy. I remember being at the café, talking to my sister, but that's about It.” I explained, wondering what could be wrong with me.

“Do you remember what you two were talking about?” She asked me.

“Um, I'm not sure. Her boyfriend, I think. Why is this relevant?” I asked. The doctor glanced at Naima, and then looked back at me.

“Well, Mrs. Skye, you had a panic attack. That is probably why you collapsed. Did your heart feel as though it were thumping a hundred beats per minute?” She asked me.

“Yeah, it kind of did.” I admitted, looking down, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. As if she read my mind, the doctor said, “Maybe we should talk in private for a while Mrs. Skye, if that's okay with you?”

“Um, sure I guess,” I said, and then turned to Naima. “Do you mind?” I asked her.

“No, not at all,” she said getting up. “I'm going to go call the guys. They were worried about you. You know Tony had duty, so he couldn't come, but I'll let him know that you're okay.” Naima said with a smile, and then walked out of the room.

“Is there something wrong with me?” I asked, as soon as we were alone.

“Well, that depends.” The doctor replied, looking at me intently.

“On what?” I asked, sitting straight up.

“On how you're going to take the news I'm about to give you. You're pregnant Mrs. Skye.” My jaw dropped.

“What?” I asked stunned.

“Pregnant,” she repeated. “Have you been feeling a little sick lately?” She asked, jotting down some more notes.

“Um yeah, like right before I blacked out, I felt nauseous and a little dizzy.” I explained remembering.

“Well, that explains it. I take it this is not good news for you?” She asked, studying my face.

“No, it's not that. I'm just a little surprised that's all.” I replied, feeling my heart begin to race again.

“How far along am I?” I reluctantly asked.

“Just about six weeks. The first trimester is usually the most critical part of pregnancy, and that is why you have to take better care of yourself. Your blood pressure is a little high, so the less stress you have, the better it would be for you and your baby. You need to schedule an appointment with an OBGYN through your insurance provider. In the meantime, I want you to take these once a day, preferably in the mornings, okay?” The doctor said, reaching into her coat pocket, and then handing me a large bottle of pills.

“What are these?” I asked, without reading the label.

“Prenatal vitamins. They provide the necessary vitamins and nutrients to your baby, but you still have to eat right, so you can have a healthy pregnancy. Is there anything else you want to know or ask?”

“No.” I replied.

“Okay then. Well, I'll go tell your sister she can come back in, and then I'll go get your discharge papers okay. Good luck.” The doctor said, and then left the room. I sighed, and closed my eyes, willing the tears I felt away. This should be one of the happiest moments in my life. I was happily married and my husband, whom I loved dearly, wanted a baby. Yet even so, the feeling of uneasiness plagued me instead. Suddenly, the thought of Chris, and that one night of passion, surfaced in my head. Once again, visions of the way he touched me, and the way he kissed me filled my mind’s eye. It seemed like a long time had passed since then, but the memory of the way he felt inside me remained. Then, it suddenly dawned on me; that one night of passion. The more I thought about it, the more I began to worry with the realization of the impossible. I mentally tried to count back the days leading to that night.

“No. It can't be. He can't be…” I began to say to myself, before the door to the hospital room swung open.

“Hey girl, is everything okay? What did the doctor say?” Naima asked me.

“Oh, nothing really,” I lied, “just that I’m stressed, and needed to relax more.” I said, slowly pushing the bottle of prenatal pills under the blanket, out of her view. Then, Naima came and sat next to me on the bed.

“Oh? Is that it? And she couldn't tell you that in front of me?” She asked frowning.

“You know doctors. It is part of their job to keep their patient's information confidential. Anyway, it is no big deal, though. I'm fine.” I lied again.

“Well, as long as you’re okay. You gave me quite a scare there girl. I almost freaked when you went down like that.” She said, recalling the last few hours.

“I know, and I'm sorry I scared you. I even scared myself. Nothing like that has ever happened to me before.” I said truthfully.

“Speaking of which; why did it happen? I mean, the doctor said you had a panic attack, right? Why, what caused it? Was it something I said or did?” She asked concerned.

“Oh no hon, not at all, it's just that…I don't know…I guess I've been under a lot of stress lately that's all.” I replied. Naima looked confused.

“Stress? Why? Is everything okay with you and Tony?” She asked me.

“No. Everything is fine. Look, I am fine now, so there is no need for you to worry, okay. I just want to get out of here. I'm okay, really.” I assured her.

“Well, okay if you say so.” Naima said, not convinced.

That night, as I lay awake in bed unable to sleep, I kept thinking about the doctor's words. 'You're pregnant.' Maybe there was a mistake with the test results. Maybe I was not pregnant. After all, doctors do make mistakes, lots of them, and this could be one of them. However, in likeness to the doctor's words, I knew deep down inside that, her diagnosis was right. I was pregnant. I suspected as much the past week or so when my nausea started, but I was too in denial then, and maybe even now. I suppose I would have been very happy if I knew, without any doubt, that the baby I am carrying was Tony's, but I did not. That is what scared me the most, the possibility of Chris being the father. Lord I hope and pray that he is not. Tony and Naima mean so much to me, and I cannot bear the thought of losing them both. Moreover, keeping Chris in the dark about this was not an option either. That is, if the baby turned out to be his. He would want to, not just be there for his child, but be a father to it as well. Where will that put Tony and I, or even Naima and Chris? Our lives would implode, and I could not let that happen. No, I would not let that happen. On that occasion, thoughts of how wonderful Tony has been to me lately ran through my mind. He has been such a sweetheart, since he got back. He always called me his queen, and is now treating me like one too. For the first time, since we have been together, I started to feel secure with him. He is always talking about how much he wants a baby, rubbing my stomach, hopeful that he had finally put, as he like to say, ‘a bun in the oven.’

I held his pillow tight, wishing he were sleeping here with me and not on his ship tonight. He loved me unconditionally, and he showed me that every day. I missed him dearly. Tears filled my eyes, as I silently prayed for this baby to be his. It had to be. God please, it just had to be.

10

~CHRIS~

“Nena? Wow, this is a surprise. Come on in.” I said, stepping aside.

“Is this a bad time?” She asked, walking past me.

“For you, never,” I said. Like a kid on Christmas morning, I was beyond excited to see her.

“Please, have a seat.” I motioned for her to sit.

“Oh, no thanks, I will not be long. Is Naima here?” She asked, glancing at my closed bedroom door.

“Uh no. Why would she be?” I asked confused. Then she noticed the packed duffel bag, sitting on the floor, near the door.

“Going somewhere?” She asked me.

“No. That is some of Nai’s things. I’m going to drop them off at her hotel on my way to work tomorrow.” I explained.

“Oh.” It was all she said, before looking up at me again.

“So what's up? How you been? Nai told me what happened. Are you okay?” I asked, making conversation. I still did not know why she just showed up unannounced; not that I was not happy to see her, but I had a feeling that this was not just a social visit.

“Yeah I'm okay. Thanks.” She replied, staring at the tiles on the ground. Brows rose, I leaned my shoulder against the wall, and crossed my arms.

“She also told me that you had a panic attack. May I ask how, and why did that happen?” I questioned.

“Why do you think?” She asked, locking eyes with me. I detected an attitude from her, which immediately irritated me.

“I don't know, you tell me. I mean, I never see you anymore. What am I supposed to think?” I said in the exact same tone she just used with me. For whatever reason, she seemed upset with me. Go figure. Women! Then, she turned to set her purse on my kitchen counter, and with her hands on her hips, she turned back to face me. Hmm, this should be good, I thought.

“What is your problem?” She demanded, and I got defensive.

“Problem? What makes you think I have a problem?” I asked confused. I have not seen her in months, then she rolls up in here with an attitude, and suddenly, I am the one with the problem? What the hell?

“Then what's with the attitude towards me?” She shot back. Now, I was terribly confused.

“Look, if you're sensing an attitude, it's probably yours not mine.” I retorted. She seemed flustered, but why?

“You know what? I am sorry I came here. I’ll show myself out!” She barked.

“All right then. Bye!” I said, not giving a damn. She went to grab her purse, but knocked it over instead, spilling most of her things onto the floor. She sighed, obviously frustrated, and got down to retrieve her things. Then, I crouched down as well.

“Let me help you. I'm sor…”  I stopped mid-sentence.

“You’re what?” She asked angrily, with her head still down. Oblivious to my discovery, she continued stuffing her purse.

“What's this?” I asked.

“What are you talking about,” she began to say, but stopped, when she saw what I held in my hand.

“I'm talking about these.” I said, holding up a large bottle of pills. Suddenly speechless, Nena blankly stared at me.

“Give me those!” She snapped, trying to grab them. I pulled away from her, and stood up, with the bottle still in hand. After reading the label, I looked up at her.

“Prenatal vitamins? What are you doing with these?” I questioned. Then, she grabbed her purse off the floor, and stood up as well, snatching the bottle out of my hands.

“That's none of your business!” She snapped again.

“The hell it isn’t!” I snapped back. Promptly, she stuffed the bottle back into her purse, and headed for the door. I quickly reached out, and grabbed her arm, forcing her to face me. Then, I studied her for a moment.

“Are you pregnant?” I finally asked, and she looked away. “Well?” I persisted. She then looked me in the eyes and said, “Yes. I am.” Stunned, I released her arm, and took a step back to look at her still flat belly.

“How far along are you anyway?” I asked, and she hesitated before answering.

“Two months.” She finally said, and that sparked my interest.

“What? Exactly two months?” I asked surprised.

“Just about,” she repeated, with her head down. My eyes went from her face, to her stomach, and then back to her face again. Then, I finally asked, “Is it mines?”

“No.” She quickly answered.

“No?” I questioned.

“I don't know. It could be.” She admitted.

“Wow. I can imagine how Tony must feel. He’s always wanted a child.” I said, feigning remorsefulness.

“No one knows except you and me.” She affirmed.

“Do you plan on telling him?” I asked her.

“Right,” she began facetiously, “and what exactly do you propose I tell him, huh? ‘Gee Tony, guess what? I'm pregnant, and your best friend might be the father. So, what do you want for dinner?’” She finished, rolling her eyes at me.

“Well, I'm glad you find all this amusing.” I said with a frown.

“Amusing? I am scared to death over this! How dare you accuse me of taking pleasure in any of this! It’s tearing me up inside!” She screamed with tears in her eyes. She was no doubt, highly emotional. In the twenty minutes that she has been here, she was sad, then nervous, angry, and now crying. Damn. She was a mess. Her tears started falling now, and she began to tremble. Then, I moved forward, and reached out to her. She readily walked into my arms, and I held her close, as she drew in a deep breath and cried.

“It’s okay Nena. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.” I soothed. After wiping away her tears, she pushed away from me, and began to pace.

“I don't know what to do,” she began, eyes filling with fresh tears again. “I have to tell Tony, because sooner or later, I'm going to start showing. But, I'm so scared, because I love him. What if this baby’s not his?” She asked to no one in particular. “How can I tell him that I betrayed him in the worst possible way ever? I can't Chris. I just can't.” She sniffed. I went to grab a tissue box on one of my end tables near the couch, and then walked back over to her.

“Nena, you need to calm down, because this isn't good for you, or the baby. Look at you. You're shaking. Sit down. I'm going to get you some water.” I said, heading for the kitchen. She took a seat on my couch, and within seconds, I was by her side again with a glass of water. “Here, drink this.” I said. She took the glass from me, and sipped slowly.

“Thanks.” She said, putting the glass down. I waited to see if she was calm before speaking.

“Look Nena. I can't imagine what you must be going through, and I feel somewhat responsible for your pain.” Then, she shook her head, and turned to me.

“No. Please do not blame yourself. It is not entirely your fault. It takes two.” She said.

“So I've heard.” I joked with a smirk. Finally, she smiled, and even giggled a little.

“See. I knew that somewhere behind those tears, there was a smile waiting to come out. And it did.” I said gently pinching her chin. She smiled again and met my eyes. Silence filled the room, and we sat there staring at each other, not speaking. I could not deny my feelings for her, and by the look in her eyes, as she stared back at me; I knew that the feeling was mutual.

“Chris I…” she started to say, but stopped. I was disappointed. I wanted her to say what I was undoubtedly feeling for her.

“You what?” I asked her.

“I…uh…I have to go.” She replied, standing up.

“What?” I stood up to face her, blocking her exit.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here.” She said, walking around me.