Saving Georgia (20 page)

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to.” Shane whispers, his country accent thick with worry. I finger my mother’s necklace around my neck. This is impossible.

“I need to go. I need to go home. I have to think.” I hop off my trunk and rush to the driver’s door. I shove the key in the ignition and floor it. I see Shane in my rearview window, ringing his hands through his hair. He kicks the dirt and stomps off to his truck.

Headlights dead ahead, eyes forward I drive.
I’m not ready for this
. I’m pushing him away and that’s the last thing I want to do. I feel an anxiety attack coming on.

Once I make it to the Hyde’s property I find my old favorite tree and calmed myself down. I’m in hysterics and I need a moment to think. What am I supposed to do? Who am I supposed to be with and why did I let this go on for so long? Is Shane right, is he my natural path?
God I am talking to you
!
What I am supposed to do
!

I’ve been through hell, why would I ever assume that a love life for me would come natural and easy? Of course it’s not. Why can’t I just have a normal life? I want my mommy.

I left my mind go blank and the tears just fall. I’m letting it out; I’m letting it all out.

***

I don’t know how long I slept for, but I woke to someone kicking my foot.

“Georgy.” Jenn says, staring down at me. All I see if her outline and the sun glaring behind her.

“Yeah?” I ask, pushing myself up on my elbows.

“There’s some policeman here looking for you. He’s at the house.” Jenn nods her head towards the main house.

“Oh? Okay.” I stand, confused. We walked in silence down to the main house, and the officer is standing on the front porch.

“Ms. Ashton?” he greets me, taking his hat off.

“Yes? How can I help you?” I walk up the stairs, extending my hand to shake his.

“I’m Officer Nathan Stamm. I have some news for you regarding the parole hearing for Cecil Long.” He looks at me like a lost boy trying to find his way home.

“What is it?” I ask, my voice hitching in the back of my throat. I grab Jenn’s hand and squeeze it for dear life.

“The hearing has been canceled. We’ve been trying to reach you. There was an incident at the correctional facility last night, and it appears that Mr. Long is deceased.”

I cry, and I shriek. There couldn’t be any better news to my ears. Sweet Jesus, thank you Lord!

“You have a good day, Ma’am.” Officer Stamm says, returning his hat to his head and walks off to his car.

Jenn and I embrace each other and spin around on the porch. Today is a good day.

The next few days I created as much space between Jason and Shane and I as possible. I couldn’t allow them to persuade my decision one way or another. At school we mostly returned our books. At church on Sunday, Mrs. Hyde said she hasn’t seen my Bible that has been missing, and everything has been rather on the normal; home, work, school but not necessarily in that order.
I still wonder what ever happened to my Bible, and that bracelet I lost at work
.

One day at school I happened to run into Harper Kelly. How they still allowed her to attend is beyond me. Any chance she got, she made my life hell. I’m sure the school just wants to get rid of her as much as I do. I hear her snicker behind my back and call me names like ‘whore, slut and tramp’; I still have yet to see how a virgin can be any of those things. Nonetheless, it’s still mortifying.

Today is no different. Harper Kelly runs right into me in the bathroom. I was washing up and looking myself over in the mirror.

“Nice bracelet, hooker.” Harper fixes her lipstick in the mirror. Her eyes locked on mine.

“Thanks Harper, nice to see you too.” Sarcasm has always been a strong suit of mine.

“Jason get it for you? He got me one like that once too. Too bad though… Coach is only for bitches who can’t afford Gucci.”

That was it. I had enough, and
Lord please forgive me for the words that are about to come out my mouth.

“Do you blow your father with that mouth? That’s disgusting.” I turn on my heels and vow to find a priest and a confessional A.S.A.P. ...

I can’t believe I just said that.
Pushing my gross behavior aside, I concentrate on the matters at hand. In a few days I graduate and then I have a blissful summer ahead of me before I go to ECU. I have two wonderful guys who are in love with me, and I am in love with them and this being in limbo thing is just sucking for everyone involved.

Once I turned the last of my work in for all my classes I slipped on home and practiced obsessively for our performance. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to tell Shane or Jason the amazing news about Cecil and on graduation day that’s when I will drop that bomb on them.

Jenn is in her bedroom and I’m messing with my guitar. Mrs. Hyde has been crying and smiling at the both of us since the day after Prom. I know she has something up her sleeve. We went dorm shopping the other day and she had this whole “I got a big secret” grin on her face. Thankfully Mr. Hyde keeps to himself, so I slipped into the barn and hid away from all the stares and rollercoaster emotions.

Misty hasn’t been harping on Shane and I like she used to, which is a relief. I don’t know how much of her constant nagging I could have tolerated anymore. Jenn has been overly sweet, and trying to help me with the dilemma, but by no fault of her own my spirits remain yet to be lifted.

My phone rings and its Shane. I hesitantly answer, but a part of me needs to hear his voice. I need to know he is ok, and I love him.

“Hello?”

Shane sighs. “I needed to hear your voice.”

“I needed to hear yours too.” I pout.

“Georgia?” The pain in his voice is breaking my heart. Shattering it, with no hope of mending it together.

“Yeah?” I breathe out, trying to hold my composure.

“I feel like… I don’t know… I feel like you’re fading away from me a little more each day.” I can almost hear the tears in his voice. What he is saying is true. I’ve been trying so hard to protect my own heart from him, that in turn I’m breaking his. I don’t want this. I
hate
this.

“I know… I’m sorry.”

***

It’s Graduation day. Jenn and I are getting dressed up and I’ve loaded my car up for everything I need for the performance. The Hyde’s are taking us out to dinner with Shane’s family as well after the ceremony. I’ve gotten bouquets from both Shane and Jason delivered to me this morning. It’s super sweet. I got some beautiful peonies from Shane; he knows it’s one of my favorites. Jason sent me a bunch of sterling roses. How romantic! I need to work on things with Shane. I have to, no matter which one I choose if any. I think I might just walk away from it all.

Misty, Shane and I arrive early and set up. We set up the microphones with the band teacher, and go through a sound check. Shane has been more reserved than normal and I am just waiting for Misty to say something to me, but to my surprise she never did. Sound check went swimmingly, and we’re all on key and in sync with each other. It’s remarkable. It’s only about an hour before everyone starts showing up, so I made my way back to my car to get some gum out of my purse and do a quick makeup check.

Looking into the driver’s seat before I open the door, I see a neatly wrapped red box in the seat. Shane must be trying to patch things over for us, and it’s so sweet. I open it up and inside the box is the bracelet I thought I lost. There’s a note in neat penmanship.

Georgia,

I thought you’d like this back.

How did he find it? Did I leave it at his house or did it fall off in the car? It must have. I have to thank him for this. I checked my mascara and lip gloss and everything is right on point. Jenn would be proud. I hope this stuff really is waterproof because I have a feeling that is going to be put to the test.

I slowly made my way back to the gym, securing my bracelet on my wrist. I am still wearing the one Jason gave me as well. I smile to myself; today is a great day… I just have to keep reminding myself that. I looked for Shane but he was nowhere to be found. The off duty officers showed up to keep the ceremony safe. I walked around the campus to kill time, and memories flood my mind. The time I kissed Shane under the bleachers, the time I nestled up to Jason in the courtyard before school. The trouble Jenn and I got into for skipping class… it’s all such a part of me, a part that I am giving up and never to get back. But, everyone does that because it’s part of growing up; it’s part of the process.

The Hyde’s are here, and the rest of the graduating class is trickling in. Suddenly I feel a tug on my arm and I turn around. Shane has his arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me up in the air.

“I’m going to miss this.” He whimpers.

“I am too. I love you.” I caress his face gently, and run my fingers in his hair.

“I know, but it’s not enough. Not right now. Which is why I am leaving.”

What did he just say
?

“I just enlisted in the army. I leave for basic tomorrow morning.”

Here come the waterworks
. My breath hitches in my throat and I stifle it down. I can’t let myself fall apart now. I have a show to do… I have to graduate.

“No. You can’t go!” I would stomp my feet if he let me down. “Shane I…. I don’t know who I am without you.” My lips are quivering.

“Well… you should. You need to.”

I don’t like it. I hate it. But, I brought this upon myself.

“Okay… I understand. I don’t like it but I understand.” I wipe the rebellious tears off my face.

He kisses me. He kisses me hard. I feel the stubble on his face tickle my chin. His tongue begged for access to my mouth, and I opened it all too willingly. I love him. I’m in love with him. I pushed him away. This is all my fault.

You got what you had coming to you, girlfriend.

I straightened myself out, put on my big girl panties and walked into the gymnasium. I donned on my cap and gown and made my way to the hall for the line for graduation. Everything seems to blur on by. I walked into the room, I sang the songs, and I strummed my guitar. I walked across the stage when my name was called. I am numb. I am devastated. I am everything but myself.

Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day.

No, no it’s not.

Jenn is happy and hyper and her and Nick are perfect. Mrs. Dalton bawled her eyes out, and Shane is standoff-ish. That’s my fault. Jason is happy with his parents, or at least pretending to be. His dad is a real ass.

I walked to my car, heading to dinner with the Dalton’s and the Hyde’s. We’re celebrating. I don’t see how fit it is for me to celebrate the fact that I pushed the most important person in my life into the military, because he can’t handle me breaking his heart. I’m such a jerk. I couldn’t make a decision, no nix that, I
wouldn’t
make a decision… so Shane did it for me. That’s what this is.

We’re sitting in a small restaurant, some Italian place and it’s packed with families and their graduates. Even Jason’s family is in the corner. I have on a summer dress with a belt and my hair is all up in a chignon. Aside from my emotional standpoint which is obvious, I would think I looked nice. The adults are talking amongst themselves. Nick joined us and he and Jenn are conversing about who knows what. Shane is picking at his food, barely looking at me. I’m just staring off into space.

Suddenly a waiter appears and he has a package.

“Ms. Ashton? I was asked to give this to you.” He puts the package in front of me. It’s wrapped in the same wrapping paper as my bracelet. Shane watches me with indifference and sorrow it seems like.
Why is he doing this to me? What type of sick and twisted goodbye is this?

I open the package and it’s a clothes box. On top there’s another note in the same penmanship.

Georgia,

That belt just doesn’t go with that outfit. Try this one.

I open the box and it’s a strip of rubber. I hold it up, confused.

“What the heck is this?” I turn my glare to Shane. “Why did you give me this?” I’m enraged at this point.

“That’s not me. I didn’t get you anything aside from the peonies.” Shane turns back to his food.

“Well do you know what the hell this is?” I am about shouting at this point.

“Yeah. That’s an alternator belt.” Shane shrugs. Suddenly it hits him. “Where did you get that?” He stands and takes it from my hand. “This is what was wrong with your car. Who gave this to you?” Shane’s anger seemed to match my own.

“The waiter just dropped this off for me. I thought it was you because you left me…” Shane gives me a puzzling look. “You didn’t give me back my bracelet did you?”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about so the answer is no.”

The Dalton’s are looking up at us, as are the Hyde’s. Shane and I stand united and scared. Shane filled them in on what is going on with the strange gifts I have gotten today and we all made a decision to go home. I called the police and they met us at the Hyde’s residence. They promised to patrol heavy and check in with us often. Shane had to go home to pack for basic and the Hyde’s and I sat at the house trying to figure out what is going on.

We sat around the living room trying to piece together how this stuff was missing and why someone would want to harm me.
Harper Kelly is the only name that comes to mind, but she’s just a bitch and not evil… right?

Jenn phoned Jason and he rushed over right after dinner with his family.

“Baby I’m not leaving your side.” He keeps assuring me. He links his fingers between mine and a certain ease and comfort radiates off of him.

“Thank you. I’m sure they are just trying to scare me and that is it.” I don’t know if I am trying to convince him or myself more.

“Yeah that is it, exactly.” Jason gets up and starts pacing. His shoulders firm, his stance is defensive and angry. Frankly, this is a sexier side of Jason.

Mr. Hyde is analyzing the penmanship and packages. He is tracing back everything I have done in the past few months and everywhere I went. Between him, the cops, Jason and Mrs. Hyde – if I have to answer one more question I might lose my stuff. I feel like I am about to pop off on someone. In the distance I hear more sirens. One thing about living in North Carolina is that this is NASCAR country, and everyone
thinks
they can drive but they can’t. There’s
always
an accident somewhere.

“I can’t figure this out. What the hell!” Mr. Hyde yells at the top of his lungs. “I swear I’m going to find this asshole and he is going to get what’s coming to him for messing with my daughter!”

The room fell silent and everyone is sending glances back questioning if that really came from Mr. Hyde. I shrugged at Jason and got up to get a cup of tea for Mr. Hyde to calm him down. I got my ginger ale and made my way back into the living room.

Nick left to spend time with his family. Jenn, and Mrs. Hyde went into town to get a prescription for my anxiety. Mr. Hyde made his way to the barn and said he would be right back. He was too afraid to leave me alone in the house with Jason, but not because he thought that my virtue was in jeopardy for once.

Jason and I snuggled up on the couch and turned on the TV. Nothing was on as usual, so we put on Beetlejuice so we could laugh.

Suddenly there is a loud thud on the porch. I looked up but no one seemed to be at the door. I figure it must just be squirrels or some other creature. The thud sounds again, like footsteps going off the front porch.

My phone starts to ring. I am not in the mood for anyone right now. My best friend and maybe the love of my life I pushed into the military and now I am getting creeptastic gifts.
Don’t mess with me.
Jason went to the door to scope it out and he came back with another red box.