Saving Cassie (Fairfield Corners) (12 page)

Princess and I arrive at
the bookstore and find Mel already there, flipping the sign to open.  “Hey Mel,
did you enjoy your day off?”

“Yes, I think I slept all
day.  I didn’t realize how exhausted I was.”

“I’m sorry for that, and I
want to make it up to you.  How about a spa day?  You’ve done so much to keep
this store up and running that it’s the least I could do.”

“You don’t have to do that,
Cassie.  I’m just glad I could help.  Did you see the new shelves? Dan has them
about half done, and I think they are going to look awesome!  It will be the
perfect place for new arrivals!”

Dan walks out from the
storeroom carrying some boards. “Hi Cassie, hi Princess.  I’m sorry about
yesterday.  I had this awful headache, maybe Princess picked up on it and
that’s why she was growling.  She seems fine with me today.”

“Yeah, she does.  Maybe
she was just in a bad mood or something.  I forget to ask Logan about it.  I’ll
ask him later today.  Now, let’s get to work.  I want to get the plans for the
book club finalized so I can get the flyers printed.”

About noon, Marie comes
into the store. “Hi, Cassie.  Do you have time for lunch today?”

“Sure, I was hoping you’d
stop by.  We really need to talk.”  I turn and see Mel dusting the shelves, “Mel,
go ahead and close the store and go to lunch.  We’re never busy at lunch time.  Dan,
lock up when you’re done.”

“Sure thing Cassie.  I
should be done in about half an hour or so.  I’ll send you a bill.”

Marie and I head out the
door, flipping the sign to closed.  “So, let’s pick up grinders at Kaley’s and
take them back to my house.  I have some things to talk to you about that I
don’t want the whole town to hear.”

Marie replies, “Is it
about what happened this morning?  I know something happened.  James stopped by
the house to pick up his phone and I could see it in his face.  It must have
been a doozy!”

We get to the house with
our lunch.  I get out plates and napkins and bring them to the table.  I catch
a whiff of bacon and I immediately am aroused.  Hope that wears off, it could
make breakfast at the diner really interesting.

Marie starts, “So, what
happened this morning?  I tried to get James to tell me but he mumbled
something about having to ask you and left really quickly.  So dish!”

I start out by telling
Marie about waking up and smelling bacon, and seeing Logan at the stove.  I
continue with the incident with the coffee and bumping into him.  “It was so
intense, I just couldn’t help myself,” I say, “he is just so sexual and so hot!
 Does that make me really shallow?  I have never felt anything like it.  All he
has to do is look at me and I’m ready for it.  He is the sweetest guy, I can’t
seem to control myself around him.  Anyway, we had just finished some really
incredible sex on the couch when James walked right in.  No knocking, just
barging in like he always does.  He’s all ‘Dammit Reggie!’ and then he realizes
it Logan who is lying on top of me and he totally goes ballistic!  I thought he
was gonna blow a gasket, getting all big brother on me.  Well, needless to say,
I let them know what I thought about that, that I’m a big girl and I can handle
my own life. I stomped upstairs and got in the shower.  I know they had words,
I could hear them talking but I couldn’t tell what they were saying.  They were
both gone by the time I got out of the shower, I did hear Logan say he was
leaving but that’s it.”

“Wow, wish I was a fly on
the wall when James and Logan were talking.  I’ll try to get it out of him
tonight.”

And then I told her about
the bits of wisdom from Gram. She just smiled and said, “Yeah, I agree with her
on that, at least since I’ve known you.  I could even see it with Matt, but you
seemed to be so happy so I never said anything.  Now I wish I would have, maybe
you wouldn’t have had to go through what you did.”

“Oh, Marie, I probably
wouldn’t have listened.  I thought I was so in love with Matt but he killed it,
and our baby!” I say heatedly.  “I’m sorry, I’m just mad at myself for staying
with him as long as I did.”

“I’m so sorry we weren’t
there to help you through it.  Logan seems to be very perceptive, let him help
you work everything out.  Let him help you heal yourself.”

“I’m trying.  At least he
can make me forget about what happened while we are making love; he’s that
good!  Anyway, before all that happened this morning, Logan and I made plans to
go out Saturday to dinner and the Komet’s game.  Can you believe he’s never
been to a hockey game?  Do you have time to go to Fort Wayne with me after
lunch?  I want to find the perfect outfit for our date.  I want his eyes on me
and only me.  I’ve seen the way some of the Komet groupies dress and I don’t
want his eyes to wander.”

“I really don’t think
that’s an issue.  Logan can’t seem to take his eyes off of you anyway.  Let’s
go find you something that will knock his socks off!”

We drive into Fort Wayne
and head for the mall.  We walk in and out of stores, not finding the right
thing until we see a jacket in the window of the leather shop.  It’s fitted and
mid-thigh length; there is just something about it that draws me into the
store.  “I think this is it Marie.  I’ve got to try on that jacket.”

Twenty minutes later, we
are walking out of the store with bags.  The jacket is the perfect color and
the perfect length.  We head for the shoe store next, finding boots, and then
to the food court for a soda.  “Wow, that jacket is perfect.  Just right for a
hockey game, and that color with your hair… Logan won’t be able to keep his
hands to himself.”

“That’s the point!  A
little turnabout is fair play.  Let him drool the whole game, and then I can
jump him when we get back to the house.  That’s an advantage to him staying at
my house to protect me, no having to leave in the middle of the night.  He’s
not going to know what hit him.”

“So, what do you feel for
Logan?  You’ve told me about the sexual compatibility,” she laughs, “but how do
you feel about him?”

“I’m not sure, it’s so
different from anything I’ve ever felt.  When he leaves a room my heart breaks,
it’s like I only feel complete when he is near me.  When we’re apart its
torture; waiting for him to return.  I guess I have to admit it if only to you,
I am in love with Logan.  Wow, I can’t believe I said it out loud.  I love
Logan!  Now, let’s head for Victoria’s Secret, I want to buy something special
for our date.”

I work from home the rest
of the day.  I want to do some more of my cult research without interruption.  As
I am getting ready to shut down my laptop, I finally get an email from the lady
in Indy who was a member of the same cult as my parents.  I’m hoping she can
tell me more about Reverend Jake.  There wasn’t much detail in the police
report and I can’t find much information on the internet.  I open the email,
and thankfully, she has agreed to talk to me, but she wants to do it in person.
 I put her number in my phone; I will call her after I talk to Logan and James
about it.  I pull up the picture of Reverend Jake and study it for a few
minutes, wondering what is familiar about it.

I just finish closing down
my laptop when Logan pulls up.  It’s late, there was an accident involving a
fire truck out on 69 that was pretty bad and it kept him on duty later than
usual.  I hope he doesn’t get any more calls tonight, he must be exhausted.

He walks in the door
looking very grim.  “What’s wrong Logan?”

“That accident was a bad
one.  A Fort Wayne fireman was killed.”

“Oh, that’s awful!”

“He has a wife and a young
child.  It’s going to be very hard for them.”

I get up and wrap him in
my arms, trying to will the hurt away.  I can see the defeat in his eyes.  I
don’t like seeing him like this, it breaks my heart.  He’s normally so upbeat
all the time, nothing seems to bother him.  But this does; the death of this
young fireman.

“Have you eaten?  I’m
going to make you a grilled cheese sandwich.  You look like you need to eat
something.”

I move to go make the
sandwich but he wraps his arms around me and holds me close.  “Just let me hold
you for a minute.  I just need to hold you.”

We stand there, wrapped in
each other’s arms, feels like the whole world has dropped away. Eventually he
lets go and moves towards the kitchen.  “A sandwich sounds good.  I don’t think
I could eat much more than that right now.  I’m sorry I’m in such a mood, Darlin’.”

“Why don’t you go up and
take a shower.  I’ll have your sandwich ready when you get done.”

He heads upstairs and I
call Marie.  “Marie, did James get called to that accident on 69?  Logan just
got home and he’s a wreck.  Is James OK?”

“It hit James pretty hard,
too.  I’ll call you tomorrow and we’ll start a fundraiser for the fireman’s
family.  James said he had a young child, it’s so sad.  I’m sure both James and
Logan will want to go to the funeral.”

“Give James a hug from
me.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Marie.  Love you, bye.”  I put my phone on the
table, thinking about how hard this must be for the fireman’s family.  I say a
short prayer for them and one for James and Logan.

It’s hard to see Logan
like this.  It breaks my heart to see him hurting; and for something that he
can’t change.  I hear the shower shut off as I’m taking the sandwich out of the
frying pan. He comes downstairs and looks a little better.  I walk over and
just wrap him in a hug.  He picks me up and goes over to one of the kitchen
chairs and sits down with me in his lap.  “There was nothing either James or I
could do other than direct traffic.  There were power lines down all over so we
couldn’t even get close to the fire truck until the power company got there.  We
could see enough to tell that even if we could have gotten to him it wouldn’t
have mattered. Days like this make me question my career choice.  I know I was
meant to be in law enforcement, but days like today make it especially hard to
deal with.”

There is nothing that I
can say to make this any better so I just sit there and snuggle in him, just
letting him know that I am there for him.  “I talked to Marie while you were in
the shower; we are going to start a fundraiser for the family.  Just something
to show that his sacrifice will not be forgotten.”

“I’m sure that will be
appreciated.”  I give him a kiss and get up to wash the frying pan.  “This
sandwich is pretty good, I’ll make a cook out of you yet.”

At least that gets a small
smile out of him.  He looks exhausted, so I suggest we head upstairs for the
night.  We get upstairs and I lead him into my bedroom.  Tonight is not the
night to deny him the comfort of my arms.  I lead him over to the bed and tell
him to get in.  I change into my sleepwear and crawl in beside him.  He
immediately reaches for me and pulls me close.  I can feel him start to relax
against me.  Hopefully he’ll be able to sleep.

The death of this fireman
brings back all the misgivings I had when James announced he was going to
Indianapolis to be a police officer.  For six months I was expecting to get
that phone call everyone dreads, the one where they tell you that he was killed
doing his job.  I didn’t worry as much after he met Marie, he seemed to figure
out that he didn’t have to take as many chances to be good at his job.

I can tell that Logan
asleep so it doesn’t surprise me when he asks, “So, Darlin’, did you find
anything in your research today?”

“Actually, the former cult
member that I tracked down called me today.  She will be coming near here
tomorrow on her way to Michigan.  I asked if she would stop here so we could
talk about Reverend Jake.  She agreed to take an extra day to stay and talk with
us tomorrow afternoon.  I hope you and James will be able to be there.  I’m
hoping to learn something that will help us stop him.”

“That’s great news, Darlin’.
 At least something good happened today.  I’m sure glad days like today don’t
happen too often.  I don’t know that I could handle it.”

“Well, Dudley, just relax
and try to sleep.  You look like you need it.  Try to think about something
else, like our date on Saturday.  I am looking forward to introducing you to
Komet hockey. You’ll love it.  We have some really diehard fans who paint their
faces.  It’s just a lot of fun, even when they lose.”

Logan pulls me in closer
and I snuggle into him, relishing the feel of such strong arms holding me
tight.  Six months ago I thought I would never feel anything like this again.  I
hope I can get past all my hang-ups about a long-term relationship; Logan
deserves someone who can commit to him.  I sure hope that is me.  I snuggle
into his arms and fall asleep thinking about a future with him in it.

The dream starts out the
same.  I am being chased by someone or something I cannot see, but I know they
are there.  The location has changed.  I am now being chased through my Gram’s
house instead of through Matt’s apartment in New York.  I am running, trying to
get away, trying to find a place to hide.  I duck behind the bed, willing my
heart to stop beating so loud, it sounds loud enough to me that whoever is
chasing me is sure to hear.  I catch my breath and listen, trying to gauge
where he is in the house.  Do I make a run for it? Do I try to find a better
hiding place?  Suddenly, my bedroom door opens violently, coming off the hinges.
 He is at the door, looking for me.  He comes around the end of the bed, I can
see the glowing green eyes, God, those eyes!  He steps closer to me and I can
begin to make out features… this isn’t right, it’s not the same, this time it’s
someone else that I love.

“Time to die, Cassie.  You
are the bringer of death!”  I can’t move, I’m frozen in place.  It can’t be,
but it is.  It’s Logan but it’s not Logan.  Those aren’t Logan’s eyes, his eyes
aren’t that electric green.  This can’t be happening.  I start to scream,
screaming, and screaming as I see the knife, that huge knife, that I know is
meant for me.  Logan/not Logan moves closer, brandishing the knife, and
suddenly, I can feel the knife slide in as I scream…

…and scream! “Cassie, wake
up, Darlin’!  Come on, Cassie, come back to me!”

“No, no, no, no, no,” I
yell as I try to move away from him, the one with the knife, who is killing me…
Logan is pleading with me to wake up, he grabs my arms but I am still in the
nightmare and I struggle against him, he pulls me closer to him and holds me
close, murmuring to me, “Come on, Darlin’, I’m here, it’s me Logan.  Wake up,
Cassie, come on Darlin’ you’re scaring me now,” as he strokes my hair, trying
to get through the nightmare to me.  I gradually come back from the nightmare,
my screams tapering off, ending in sobs.  I finally stop screaming, but I’m
trembling, and looking around like I’m lost.

“There you are Darlin’.  That
must have been some nightmare.  I’ve got you, it’s OK, I’m here, Logan’s here.”
 And he just holds me tight, willing the nightmare away, willing me back to
him.

I finally get the crying
under control, trying to forget the image of Logan with those ‘not Logan’ eyes,
coming at me with a knife, stabbing me…

I look up at him, the one
who has my heart.  “Thank God! I couldn’t get you to wake up, Darlin’.  You
were screaming about a knife, about being stabbed.”  He pulls me closer,
shushing me like a child, willing my nightmare away.  “Do you want to talk
about it?”

“It was awful! It’s a
variation of the nightmare I have had since I was small.  They seem to be
getting worse.  It must be the stress of Matt being free and the worry about
the Reverend.  It was so much worse this time.  For the last six months it has
always been Matt chasing me through his apartment in New York, and lately
through this house, the Matt with the glowing eyes.  The last few have ended
with him brandishing the knife at me and stabbing me.  But this time it
changed, I was being chased through this house, by someone else I love.  I
could see the glowing green eyes but not who it was at first, but they moved
closer to me.”  I sob, not sure that I can go on, not sure that I can tell him
that he was the one killing me this time.

“Shhh, Darlin’, take your
time.  Tell me, who was chasing you this time?”

“I can’t!” I cry, “I can’t
tell you!”  I move away from him, as if I’m trying to get some distance between
myself and the nightmare.  “I’m afraid it’s a premonition, I started dreaming
about Matt chasing me four days before he attacked me.  I can’t face it.  I’ve
got to get out of this room,” and I practically run down the stairs and into the
kitchen.

“Oh hell, this isn’t good,”
Logan mutters to himself, sensing that mere words are not going to cut it.  He
pulls on a shirt and follows me down the stairs.  He finds me in the kitchen,
filling the teakettle.  “Have you ever told anyone else about these nightmares,
Darlin’?”

“Sure, I have.  I was
seeing a therapist in New York after what happened with Matt.  They were bad
then but they have been getting worse.  Since I’ve been back here, they have
escalated.  Instead of ending with Matt brandishing the knife, the last few
I’ve had have ended with him actually stabbing me. I can feel the knife go in,
and then the pain, I scream and wake up.  But this time, it’s worse.”  I turn
away and fiddle with the teabag I have placed in my mug.  “It’s so much worse,”
I continue, “I don’t know if I can even say it out loud.”

“You can tell me, Darlin’.
 Let me help you work through this.  Holding it in is only going to make it
worse, it will keep building until you explode.”

“God, how can I tell you,”
I whisper to myself, “how can I tell you that you were the one with the glowing
green eyes and the knife, the one who stabs me?”

I turn around and he is
there, right beside me.  He is looking at me with such concern in his eyes.
Shit, he heard me!

“No wonder you didn’t want
to tell me,” he says, “no wonder you were trying to get away from me.  Come
here, Darlin’,” he implores me.  “I can’t fix it, but I can prove to you that
it could never be me. I could never hurt you.  You have become my life, my
whole world in such a short time.  I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and you
will be gone.  That it was all a dream.”  And he holds his arms out towards me.

I move closer to him,
allowing him to draw me in.  God, how can I feel so safe wrapped in his arms
after the nightmare I just had?  I just know he would never hurt me.  I never
felt this with Matt, this certainty of how he feels.

The teakettle whistles and
startles us both.  It was a rough day and it’s been a rough night.  “Do you
want some tea?” I ask, “Its chamomile, supposed to be calming, and man do I
need some calm right now.”

“No thanks, Darlin’,” he
says and moves to get a glass out of the cupboard.  “I think I’ll just have a
glass of water and sit with you if that’s OK.”

We move out to the living
room, settling in on the couch.  I fit perfectly under his arm, and I feel so
protected.  But I can’t get the picture of him coming at me with a knife out of
my head.

We sit there in the dark,
enjoying the quiet.  Hard to believe it was only about two hours ago that we
went to bed; feels like it’s been days.  I sure hope that the dream is not a
premonition, like it seemed to be before the incident with Matt.  I don’t think
I would be sane if that happened.