Save Me (17 page)

I knew I should find a safe place to hide out for awhile, but I couldn't stop myself from snooping around a bit. Normally, I felt bad going through houses of people I knew but in this case, it was different. Zach and his family wouldn't be returning. They were all dead. Nothing left would be missed. I made my way up to Zach's room. I had only been in there once. It was right before the outbreak. Zach's parents were at a wedding and I was over to study for an upcoming chemistry test. Chem was my best subject so I didn't need the studying, but Zach was just barely scrapping by. Zach didn't really have studying on his mind though. I should have known better when he suggested we study in his room. I was convinced that day was going to be my first kiss, but something about it just didn't seem right. I couldn't believe how lucky I got when his parents came home early, ruining Zach's plans, which I'm sure included more than what I was ready for.

Zach's room was in about the same shape as the rest of the house. Dresser drawers were pulled out and emptied onto the floor. Most of the clothes in the closet were either gone or thrown onto the floor. His mattress was missing and the mirror over his dresser was smashed. A banner from our high school football team hung on the wall with some ripped posters of wrestling divas, as the only real remnants that this was once a teenage boy's room. Seeing Zach's room like this made me even more grateful that my own room was left virtually untouched.

Tacked on the wall near Zach's bed was a photo of him and me. It was a shot that Amy had taken during lunch in school. Before the outbreak, it was my Facebook profile picture. It seemed so long ago, so far off in fact, that it didn't seem real. It was getting harder and harder to really remember what life was like before. It was like memories of a television show or a book, like it happened to someone else and I just watched or read about it. In the beginning, I tried so hard to hold on to those memories, to stay connected to that life. As time went on, it seemed less and less important. Just living another day was the thing that really mattered. Maybe it would be the only thing that mattered until I took my last breath. I took the photo off the wall, shoved it into my pocket, and headed back downstairs.

I made my way to the basement, finding the small hidden room Zach had told me about. It wasn't much of a room, maybe just over sixty square feet, but there was a mattress, maybe Zach's, a few books, and some cans of food. This was the place Zach and his father had hid out before he showed up at the basement. I realized how lucky I was to have the space and security of the basement at home. I couldn't begin to imagine what it would have been like trapped in this small room, still having to worry about someone breaking in. We had been blessed with the whole basement to use and thanks to Dad's paranoia, decent security. Luckily, I didn't have to stay down here long. I just needed a place to hide out until after Will and Janet went on their way.

I picked up the books, reading each title, hoping for something decent to read to pass the time. Most of it was garbage I never heard of, but one book caught my eye,
Catcher in the Rye
. It was the book Zach was reading for English class before the world went to shit. I'm pretty sure we have the book at home, but Zach never bothered to read anything during the time we lived together. I tossed the other books back onto the cold cement floor and flipped open
Catcher in the Rye
. About halfway through was Zach's bookmark, which was a nine of hearts playing card. Scrawled in sharpie was 'I heart Andi' with the card's heart standing in for letters. Zach wasn't the sweetest guy in the world, but I had to admit, that was cute.

I had no idea how long I had been there, but by the time I figured it was safe to try going back home, I had made it more than three quarters of the way through the book. Well past where Zach placed the playing card bookmark. Sticking the card into the book and taking it with me, I headed out of the basement and started making my way back home. Coming here, safety was the last thing on my mind. I just needed to run, to escape. Now, I was feeling a bit uneasy about being out here alone with nothing to defend myself. It really was a stupid move. I could hear Will in my head yelling at me for being so irresponsible. I only wished I could go back in time and take back what I said so I could hear him for real.

By the time I got halfway back to the house, the sun was below the horizon and stars were beginning to become visible across the sky. That was one good thing about this new world. Without all the electricity and lights, the sky was beautiful at night. Of course, the flesh eaters were more active and harder to see, so generally you didn't get to enjoy them nearly enough. There was one place I stayed that had an opening onto the roof we could use to sit on and enjoy the night. I was only there for about a month, but it was a really good month.

I was about to round the corner at the halfway point between Zach's and my house when I heard the unmistakable groan of the undead. There had to be about twenty of the bastards spread out enough so that getting past wouldn't be easy, especially with no weapon. I had to think quick and come up with a plan. The smartest thing to do would be to go back to Zach's house and wait until morning and see if it was clear. Only problem with that was the street they were coming down had a connecting side street with the one I had been on, so if any flesh eaters had turned down that way, they could be blocking the path that way. I could also try going away from the houses, into the woods, but chances are that wasn't clear either and in the dark it would be more difficult to see. Either way, my choices sucked. I turned, and ran back in the direction I had come from, hoping to make it back to Zach's in one piece.

I had to dodge a few flesh eaters getting past the connecting street, but luckily it wasn't so bad. I certainly didn't want to lead them back with me. The last thing I needed was to get trapped there with nothing to fight them off. Zombies didn't get into houses too easily unless there was a lot of them or if the doors or windows were open or broken. Most of the first floor windows at Zach's house were completely broken out so it would be easy entry for an undead who caught a whiff of me. I seemed to be in the clear though. It didn't look like any had followed me all the way back. Even if they made it over here, I would be safely in the basement where they wouldn't notice me from outside. Great, I guess I was spending the night. I flipped open Catcher in the Rye, and lost myself in the book until it was finished, even managing to doze off for a few hours.

Daylight had barely taken hold in the sky when I woke up. At first I didn't realize where I was, looking at the dark surroundings. That was a common thing these days. I was growing too comfortable in the basement. Getting too comfortable in this world was dangerous. You had to be more alert, less trusting, of anything or anyone. I made the mistake of letting myself get too close and caring about someone again. I told myself that wasn't going to happen again after the last time. Not that the last time could compare to now. Nothing really compared to now. Will was different from anyone I had gotten close to before. The difference was though, before, it wasn't me who screwed things up.

I unclipped the LED light from my belt that I had been using to read with and scanned the room again. The light was getting dimmer. I was going to have to find some more batteries for this thing. On the side of the bed, I noticed a baseball bat that I must have overlooked last night. Not the ideal weapon, but better than nothing. I shoved Zach's book into my jeans, not able to bring myself to leave it behind, grabbed the bat, and headed out of the basement to try to get home once again.

The brilliant oranges and blues of the sky mixed with a thick low covering of fog gave the day an almost surreal look. It was peaceful this morning, almost making it easy to forget what a mess this world was. In the beginning, I used to pretend that nothing was different, that there was some other reason we all lived together in our basement. That was back when calling me a child would have been accurate. I was able to escape the harsh reality of the new world in those early days, spared the truth by the safe haven of the basement. I don't know whether that was a blessing or not. The day our sheltered life was shattered and the true reality of the world set in was one that changed me forever.

I paid close attention to the sounds around me, refusing to get lost in the morning peacefulness. The last thing I needed was to run back into that horde and have to again find a place to hide out for who knows how long. I was sure by now that Will and Janet had taken off, but I wasn't sure whether or not Dan had left as well. If he was still around, I didn't know if he would worry about me or not. It seemed unlikely since we really had just met, but you never know. I didn't need anyone else mad at me right now.

The street was quiet but I could tell someone had been through here after me last night. Every so many yards was a corpse or two, taken out for good and left on the road or grass. I guess it was possible in the dark last night to miss a few of them, but the closer I got to home, the more bodies there were. It looked like someone took out the entire horde. I stopped counting at fifteen, realizing there were probably double that up ahead near my house. I hurried along, not wanting to run into the people who had done this.

It occurred to me that Will and Janet might have been the ones responsible for the undead massacre. It made sense that they would need to do something about the horde if they were going to be on their way yesterday. I felt better thinking it was them rather than wondering if some strangers had come through and could still be lurking around. Still, it was a lot for the two of them to take out on their own. Even if Dan had come to help, there were still so many. Hordes were the real threat with undead. One or two usually weren't a problem but when there were so many it was a whole different story. Many of the corpses strewn on the roadway looked newer too, fresh. That meant that they were stronger and faster, a bigger threat.

I tried convincing myself it was Janet and Will, with the help of Dan that took out the flesh eaters, and then they left, all safe. Thoughts of Will returning to the basement after our fight and meeting up with them alone, threatened my optimism. I fought back images of Will alone, trying to fend off so many without help. If anything had happened to him, it would be all my fault. I couldn't live with myself if that were true. I walked faster, needing to get back inside for any clue that the three had gone safely. I didn't know that I would find one, but I had to check. Maybe Janet would be proven right sooner than she expected.

Opening up the door into the basement, I listened for sounds to see if anyone remained. There was a still silence in the room so I entered cautiously. I made my way over to the light that always sat on the table near the sofa. Flipping on the switch, I scanned the room for any sign that Will had left safely. Everything appeared to be in place. I checked out each of the bedrooms finding nothing out of the ordinary except for a single black shirt lying neatly on my bed. Picking up the shirt, I recognized it right away, running my finger over the pink pony in the middle. I lifted the shirt to my face, breathing in Will's scent. It was the only sign he had been here. At least now I knew he had come back after I left so hopefully when he encountered the horde, he wasn't alone.

I took Zach's book from my jeans, tossed it on the nightstand, and curled up on my bed with Will's shirt tight to my chest. I couldn't believe everything that had happened over the last couple of days. I thought about the day we met Janet. Just before she showed up, Will had stood there with his arms around me and said that he didn't want to leave me. I wanted to tell him then how much I wanted him to stay with me, that I never wanted to be away from him, but I couldn't. I let another opportunity slip by without letting myself, or Will, know how I really felt. I tried to push the feelings down, deny them. Now it was too late. Instead of letting Will know how I felt, I pushed him away. If only I could go back and stop myself from making one of the biggest mistakes of my life. But I knew I couldn't go back. I made my bed, now I had to lay in it.

I don't know exactly how long I laid there with my knees against my chest, holding Will's shirt tightly. I think I may have dozed off a few times, but each time I felt like someone was pulling the shirt from me, jolting me back to consciousness. I hadn't eaten anything in a long time and my stomach growled in protest. Still, I couldn't bring myself to move from this spot. I didn't care about food, or sleep, or anything, anymore. The one thing I cared about in this world, I had told to leave, because I wanted him to. I still couldn't believe I had said that to him. Even the first day I met him, when I thought I wanted him to get lost, I don't think I really meant it. Will had been persistent back then, knowing maybe, that I didn't want him to go. The other night though, seeing his face when I told him to go was heartbreaking. The truth was, no matter how much it hurt to lose people, or how much I thought I could take care of myself, I still needed him. Things might have been different if I had never met him. I don't know. I couldn't take back meeting him and I don't know if I would if it were possible.

My head throbbed with pain that nearly rivaled the concussion headache. As much as I didn't want to move, I had to go find some pain relievers. I think the headache was karma's way of showing me what I deserve for the mess I had made of things. Not that a headache, no matter how bad it was, could be punishment enough for the way I hurt Will. No, I deserved much worse for that. Not wanting to leave my last piece of Will behind, I pulled the shirt over my head, and headed for the cabinet Mom kept the medical supplies in. I thought about taking something strong for the pain but since I was here alone now, I better stay alert. I popped a couple aspirin into my mouth and swallowed hard. They became stuck briefly in my dry throat, then went down, scratching along the way. I deserved that too.